Ooh, a lot going on here. I have been at a conference for a couple of days, so lurking on the phone but no real time to post properly. Libby thanks for your kind words and well done on the pregnancy. I know it is just the first step but it is crucial step and I really hope it works out this time!!
I finally saw Mr S last night. He asked all about what happened and basically started off with telling me off for not having gone to him for scans AND ERPC as he would have done it himself and checked for chromosomal abnormalities. I felt a bit put out by the telling off as, ok I cancelled the scan after the first one, but then after that he wasn't here! Yesterday was the next nearest appointment I could get. But he said next time he wants me to stick to the plan and trust him and trust in the treatment. I said I did trust him and the treatment but it was a case of finances rather than not trusting him. But he insisted next time - all scans with him as scheduled.
He said a pretty similar thing when I mentioned a referral for St Mary's or for any other possible tests for that matter. Not sure if you have mentioned it to him Digi? He thought everything that had been tested for had been tested for. I brought up things I had found online and in books about hidden infections and clotting and he said no need to do more, just trust this treatment. A running theme I think. Actually I think if I do get a referral to St Mary's I will follow it up. I do trust the treatment but I also want to try everything! I just won't tell him that if I can help it.
Although he said we couldn't be sure (I did ask the hospital to test the 'products' but whether they will do or not is another issue, no pun intended) he was hopeful that this pregnancy had failed due to chromosomal issues (as it was so early) and basically the plan is to just have another go. He did say that one thing he had tried with one patient was adding hydrocholoquine (sp) tablets - anti-malaria pills! Apparently they have a immune suppressant affect too. But he said he didn't want to just throw pills at me, so try the normal treatment first. I asked about doing intralipids preconception and he said that would really be a waste of money, as it wasn't sure I was going to get pregnant each month, and that the steroids were more effective anyway.
The one thing he did say was, to give my body a break from steroids, wait for 2 cycles!! So I won't be able to start trying until November. On the one hand I feel ok about that because it IS good to have a break from steroids and stressing and life is so much more fun being not pregnant, but on the other hand I am a bit stressed about it as I am not getting any younger and it just delays it all. Part of me wanted to try again as soon as possible. I guess in the scheme of things, over a whole life, waiting another month or two isn't going to make any difference. But I am aware of the clock ticking.
I guess these things never going to plan really do they but I hate it that I have had to try so hard to have a baby. I look at people with children and, to be honest, I don't even envy their lives, I just have an urge to have my own baby. I guess a lot of people say that don't they, they don't necessarily like hanging around with other people's children, they just like having their own! All this really trying hard to have a baby makes you question your motives I guess. Oh, this is far to deep for 9am, who can say why people want children anyway? It's just an instinctive thing I guess. Am off to have breakfast and try not to think about it too much!