Sixth Form Common Room part III - post mc ttc & pregnancy

[ZamMummyInGabs]

Hoping to continue the trend of the lucky thread....

Hiyeeeee, I'm back! Went to stay with parents for a bit while DH jetted off to Australia for a few days.
DS was getting better, but seems to be going back downhill so it's off to the GP for both of us on Monday. Good thing appointments here are a 15 minutes as standard isn't that amazing. I'll tell you what else is amazing.
If I do actually get pregnant out here, I will be able to select a private midwife to give me antenatal care and deliver the baby (assuming all normal), and the state will pay for it. Amazing huh?? one-to-one continuous care all the way through. If that isn't an incentive to keep going I don't know what is

So yeah, made an appointment. Tomorrow is going to be busy though as our stuff is supposed to be finally arriving as well. Which is good but I've come to realise EXACTLY how little storage this house has and am freaking a little as we had quite a lot stuff that we brought out assuming we could store it still. I'm now researching local car boots/markets to see whether there will be a good, convenient place to sell it (having shipped it halfway around the world..oh dear...my carbon karma just took a nose-dive).

Izz did you see this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childrens_books/1207677-Books-for-toddler-to-help-explore-new-baby-sibling-in-family? or were you thinking more about the birds n bees thing? Sorry, have forgotten how old the DC are. BFing board is a bit more ummm, opinionated - but there are some lovely people there, tiktok was particularly helpful but not sure if she's still there - was v helpful with DS when I had a hard time of it.

I think I'll be POASing a bit this week. I am crampy like AF is coming today, which is a week early and it's my no.1 symptom for pg to feel like this, so am definitely going to be getting hopes raised sky high if temps cooperate. I'm using cyclogest - started a few days ago but they don't seem to have don't anything to rise my BBT, which is interesting. I thought I might see an effect but so far my temps are absolutely standard for this time in my cycle, and no more or less steady.

Sorry about that short LP and AF's arrival though Dachs, it's a shame you didn't get that miracle BFP - would have been fantastic. I have everything crossed that the IVF works first time this time.

Nice to see you AandR here's hoping that lovely dream comes at least partway to coming true.

AandR wow, 20 miles a day! I definitely couldn't manage that. As it is I'm taking 2 days to recover from a 12-mile cycle. Definitely feeling my age a bit recently.

Ladybee glad to hear you're visiting the GP, less glad to hear your DS is still poorly.

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm all excited that I've got pre-AF cramps this morning. Come on AF, almost there, you can do it!

Ladybee, Good luck with the doctor, keep us posted, and I hope your symptoms lead to a bfp then! Myself, I need a fish slap...I got a teeny bit excited earlier when I had a temp dip 7po...my coverline is 36.5, since last Monday my temps have been above 36.7 then when I did it earlier it was 36.4! So I repeated it and each time it went up a bit so I plotted 36.6 which still looks low on the chart. Also usually after a nightshift it's slightly higher not lower...am I just convincing myself of nothing? Also I don't want to be graphic but things are a bit, umm, abnormal in the bowels department, symptoms I last had when 5 weeks pregnant at Christmas. Any fish about?!

I hope af comes soon for you then Tomboy.

Waves x

Thanks for all the crossed limbs. Much appreciated :)

bee Sorry illness is still prevailing. Hope it goes OK at the doc's tomorrow :)

FX for tomboy that AF shows up. :)

aandr Guaranteed to get pg if you go out and buy something really expensive to wear to work that only just fits you now. Sods law would suggest that your body will then find a way to make sure that you can only wear it once and then it won't fit any more - pg being the easiest way to achieve this. That's what I'm banking on!

Quick post as should be in bed - so apologies in advance for not name checking very diligently

Dachs sorry about AF turning up, but hats off to dealing with it in a most appropriate manner - wine and chocolates . Good luck for tomorrow and the start of the IVF. Doing my best crossed limb contortions for you.

Tina

Morning all. How goes it?

aandr nice to hear from you. Cheeky sods dumping a campervan on your site! Sorry you don't get to be on holidays at the minute, but am sure your time will come. Eventually

tomboy how bizarre in relation to the cycling! I unfortunately am a glutton, so exercise purely so that I can eat more. It has backfired at the minute though, as the combination of severe nausea solved only by eating, and cessation of most running I was doing has resulted in the gain of 12lbs already. Hurrah for the pre-AF cramps. Come on AF!

dachs sorry about AF, but yey for the fact the cycle of IVF is closer. When do you start the drugs?

bee well done for making an appointment, and am amazed at the future midwife care! That's fab, isn't it? We clearly have a lot to learn.

tina no fish slap from me. I think that tuna is enough for you to be going on with! Good luck for the rest of the week though, ma had the most amazing implantation dip, if I remember correctly.

In other news I have my midwife appointment tomorrow, expecting a quick argument and an armful less of blood. Then straight to work. I hope everyone else is well.

Waves at ma, , izz, freezing, digi, zam, mouse, battery, knitter, loup and all those I have missed, Sorry

yrmotb I was expecting to start the drugs today, but having just been in to London to be told that there were no free appointments today and to come back tomorrow (grrrrrrrr.......) it looks like I'll be starting them tomorrow.

I've got an armful less of blood this morning yrmotb but I forgot to fast...oops! I'm assuming that fasting won't affect the progesterone result but that it's for the liver function tests? We don't fast the babies at work though before they have bloods and the google gives conflicting answers as to whether or not the results will be affected...will my gp tell me off?! Dd was fascinated by it all...think I've got a dr or nurse in the making here!

How annoying dachs! Good luck for tomorrow!

Waves to all and thanks for the fish/sharks/tuna!

ladybee sorry ds is ill but pleased to hear you finally made a doc appt. Early cramps sound very very promising, as well as continuous mw care. Will be lurking frequently for news.

tomboy yay for pre-af cramps. Are you ttc next cycle?

dachs boo for wasted trip today but fingers crossed you hit the jackpot first go this time.

I'm due to join you on the assisted conception route - if no bfp this cycle. I'll be chugging letrazole from days 2-6, having my follicles tracked and then injecting ovitrelle to trigger ovulation. Being 'told' when to have sex and then being told when to take the steroids. All so medicalised (and expensive) - but if it means not having to wait till cd30 for an egg then so be it.

I think I ovulated last night - woke up feeling distinctly 'luteal' today temp on the way back up after a false start at the weekend. So fingers crossed for a bfp in two weeks to save us a heap of cash.

I will keep everything crossed for you digi

dachs for af turning up and re no appts today, hopefully you'll be able to get things started tomorrow. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Yay for the new clothes though

I'm going to be crossing fingers and shaking pom poms for ladybee and *tinai this week, would be great to hear some good news from you

tomboy hope you can get af over with quickly and getback on track.

digi fx that you've finally passed ov and that this cycle works for you

bee sorry ds is still feeling rough, well done on making the dr appt though. Sounds like you get some pretty good care there, v of your mws, can't wait for you to get your bfp and tell us how fantastic it is . Re the books, thanks for link, we do have some younger preparing for sibling books from when dd was born, unfortunately I think we need to cover more factual birds and bees this time (eek!). I would quite happily have put this off for another 5 or 10 years, but dd's 5 next week and ds is 8 in September so the chances of getting to d-day at the end of Nov without facing awkward questions are slim to nil!! Ds has already said he wants to come to the birth so he can see what happens (don't worry - I will be in hospital with dh, not planning on spectators!)

freezing hope you're doing ok lovely x

aandr you sound like one very busy lady - and 20 miles on the bike a day too, that's pretty amazing!! Sorry you're not getting to join in the holidays at the minute, will you get chance for some time off later in summer? V re the campervan - that is beyond cheeky!! Hope you manage to get it shifted soon.

yrmotb good luck with the appt tomorrow, try and get them to listen in if you can, it will make you feel so much better. Btw I have now put on a stone so can sympathise with the weight gain!

Re the bf-ing, I do have nipple issues which make bf-ing trickier, but lasted only 10 days with ds during which time he cried continually (and for 12 hours solid overnight) seemingly constantly hungry, and I cried continually trying to constantly feed him, in lots of pain and hating every minute . Mws were useless, my favourite was one who called round when I was in tears and feeling at the end of my tether with it, and when I tried to talk about it just said "oh I've breastfed seven, you'll be fine!". That was the extent of support. After 10 days I had already got to the point where I didn't even want to pick poor ds up because he would demand to be fed and I couldn't face it, at which point I decided it was getting ridiculous and we switched to ff. Everyone was a lot happier and we bonded really well from then on, but I felt bad about that first week or so when we just didn't. With dd I simply couldn't face the thought of it again, and actually found I was dreading her arriving because I couldn't face the bf-ing which is just so wrong so we decided to ff from the start. And we did and it was fine.

Anyway I do want to try again this time but feeling v v apprehensive...but you can see why I'm unsure about posting on the feeding board for advice - I'm sure I'll be branded as some neglectful baby-hating harridan for not liking bf-ing

Anyway I'll think about that. On the good news, I've picked up my MATB1 today so can "officially" notify work tomorrow which I think will feel very satisfying

Blimey, that was a mammoth post - sorry!

izzy your bf experience sounds very stressful, no wonder you're anxious! I'm going to suggest something that mws would tut at but work, which is, as far as us neonatal nurses are concerned the main thing! Did you try (whispers) nipple shields with ds? I'm not sure why they are so controversial to be honest! They give the baby something to get a good latch onto with nipples like yours. Now hopefully I've saved you a trip to bf board

Far TMI, izz, but I found that I had to "shape" my nipple using index finger and 2nd finger for at least a couple of weeks. My mother is a midwife and showed me how to feed at first (probably at this point I realised that privacy was never going to mean the same thing ever again- she did offer to check my stitches too, but I kindly declined that particular pleasure ), and it was surprising how far to the back of the throat you have to get the nipple, almost like you would choke the baby with it. It was really a case of bringing baby to nipple, and not the other way around. But the first week was HARD. So much feeding and crying. It did get easier after that, though. I would really get the nicest midwife you could find to watch you do it in practice and get some pointers. That is, if you want to try it again. Sorry if you know all that, but I was genuinely surprised by it all at the time.

tina - thank you for the tip! No I didn't try them last time - wasn't really aware of them tbh and I got the impression from the feeding board that nipple shields are the work of the devil! . Got to be a worth a go, right?

Thanks yrmotb - at the nipple-shaping and and and mother's offer to check stitches!!! Again, probably tmi but nipples are really inverted so not sure I can do anything to shape them iyswim?! Did mention my concerns to mw during first pg and she just dismissed it, basically saying it'll be fine, won't make any difference, but..

Btw does anyone else think it's slightly disturbing that when I start typing "nipple shields" into amazon, the first suggestion that pops up on auto-complete is "nipple clamps"?! Really, how many people are ordering nipple clamps on amazon right now?

this seems quite helpful?

Thanks for the link yrmotb ...it all sounds quite complicated, doesn't it?! I did try normal feeding, electric pumping with decent pump etc last time but nothing made any difference! Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and speak to a lactation consultant (is that right?) nearer to due date, try and work out a plan of action. So much for feeding as nature intended!

Also that you lot know much more about my boobs than anyone except dh! I do appreciate your advice though

Hi everyone, I want to do a nice big catch up but I am exhausted! Just got back from a fab long weekend in the country with 8 friends in a big old house in the mountains. Best holiday I have had in ages

Just wanted to say good luck to dach and digi with the assisted repro this month, you know we are all here for support and hand holding (and hopefully champagne cork popping )

FX for AF tomboy

Izz I "failed" at bf too. Lasted a month, tried nipple shields, got checked by 5 different midwives who said latch was OK and went to a breast feeding clinic (also said latch was OK and sent me home) - I think they need to invent a new label for people like me, something like "unexplained inability to bf") I totally sympathise with that dread feeling at feeding time and not wanting to do it - but like you I want to try again with this baby though. Despite not being able to actually find and fix a problem I did think the bf-ing clinic was the best at trying to help as they spent a lot of time with me (sat through a whole feed, as opposed to just latching baby on and walking off which is what midwives in hospital and on home visits did) so maybe its worth you asking what is available in your area?

how's/where's mouse? Big wave for you if you are lurking?

Hello peeps.
That's good news on the scan dachs. Fingers crossed for long (is that right?) follicles on Saturday.

It does sound a bit complicated doesn't it izz? Maybe a la leche woman would be an idea.

Hey ma! Glad you had a lovely time in the country, always nice catching up with friends.

All good here, no fight at 16 week check, got a physio referral for PGP, and listened to heartbeat for first time. Quad blood test taken.

mouse hope it's a bit quieter for you- have holidays begun now?

ladybee how was the GP?

Waves to everyone else

izz Here is a list that someone posted on my antenatal thread when pg with DS three years ago. It was invaluable as I had awful trouble bf-ing DS to begin with (no milk and DS was jaundiced so was pressured into FF from day 1). I found the helplines brilliant. DH would call and explain the situation (as I couldn't talk about it without bursting into tears) and then pass the phone on to me and I would listen to the advice. A combination of that, plus help from the BF board here on MN - if you're asking for help then you will get support, I've never had a nasty word said to me.

Breastfeeding Supportlines

National Breastfeeding Helpline 0844 20 909 20

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers helpline 08444 122 949

Breastfeeding Network Supporterline: 0844 412 4664

Breastfeeding Network Drugline: 0844 412 4665

La Leche League Telephone Helpline: 0845 120 2918

National Childbirth Trust Breastfeeding line: 0870 444 8708

Perhaps try getting your partner or a relative or friend to make the first call, in case you need to leave a message, since you may be emotional and it can be hard to key yourself up to ring for support, then get an answerphone message.
These lines are staffed by volunteers, often mothers of small children, so it?s not always possible for them to have a long conversation with you at the time you ring. But rest assured, they are very keen to help you (after all, they?ve spent a long time training to be breastfeeding counsellors) and if you leave a message, somebody will ring you back. You are not putting them out, you are not being a nuisance and they DO want to help you, so, please, if you need help, ring them.

You can also check whether your hospital is bf friendly here:

www.babyfriendly.org.uk/htables/all_hospitals_acc_status.asp and threaten your hospital that you'll report them if you don't get the help/attention you need.

All Information from:

howbreastfeedingworks.com/

Hello just popping in to say hello. Izzy I had a nipple rejection period with ds because of low blood sugar at birth and him being given formula. One of the ways we got over it was a tip from the la leche helpline which was to put him in bed with me skin to skin not at a feeding time and just say hello to each other. The idea being to take the stress out the situation and allow us to bond so our entire relationship wasn't about me being a big milk machine (did anyone see that episode of dr who? It really struck a cord). It did help and meant that when we got hospitalised 2 days later for ds' jaundice (caused by difficulty in feeding and other risk factors) I was able to persevere and keep it up despite various attempts to stop me doing so.

I only had one good helper and she was a LLL volunteer who I saw when in for the jaundice. She sat with me for a long time, was really encouraging and taught me to express as well (I was never wonderful at that). Unlike the baby cafe lady a few weeks later who when I asked for tips (we still weren't wonderful) responded brusquely "the baby knows what he's doing, you're the one with the problem" - ds at this point was rooting away from the breast, a true expert!

Anyway we're moving house in 2 weeks which should be fun,......

Good luck again Dachs and to digi, battery, ladybee, jolls, mouse, knitter and everyone else who remembers me. Apologies if I've left anyone out.

Mummya - glad you've found somewhere good to hang out and good luck with all your ventures at the moment. I only passed my driving test 2 years ago -6th time lucky but 1st on automatic. In the UK so you can't bribe the instructors sadly.

yrmotb for a great 16 week appt and an extra for finding a good mw and not having to argue! Great to hear things are going well - is it starting to seem real for you yet?

dachs yay for the start of ivf, and good news re freezing although obviously I hope you won't need that. Keeping absolutely everything crossed for you, lovely x

mummya glad you had a good weekend, sounds idyllic . How are things going with you atm?

Thanks to tigger mummya and digi for the sympathy and bf tips...tis lovely to have some understanding and not feel judged! digi I will copy down those numbers and keep them close at hand for when the time comes!!

tigger are you on mat leave now? (if so, ) How's it going?

How are all our 2ww symptom-spotters coming on?