Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part VI

[CollieandPup]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the old thread.

Lovely to hear from you dachs youve been constantly in my thoughts. I'm sure none of us can know how you are feeling but we are all here for you to support you in whatever way we can.

Thank you for posting dachs and letting us know how you're getting on. You, DH, Alexander and Felicia have been so much in my thoughts. Ditto to hairy's post that we are very much here to support however we may be able. I hope that you've had good care at the hospital and in RL. Still thinking of you lots.

Dachs i am so very sorry to hear such bad news. I'm sure you both mustbe completely heartbroken. I was just lurking on here to seehow you were all getting on but didn't want to not leave a message. I haven't read the whole thread, but however it happened it must have been awful for you. I hope you both have whatever support you need to make it through the days and weeks ahead.

Going on holiday sounds like a great plan. It will give you the chance to spend time together and begin the healing process. I can partially understand your anxieties about giving it another try, although I've not had either ivf or later losses, so that must make it an even harder decision. Only you will know when you need to call it a day, but perhaps counselling would be helpful if you feel you aren't ready to stop yet.

I hope your trip away is just what you need.
Wishing you a speedy physical recovery and thinking of you and mrdachs and your beautiful twins.

dachs I have posted to you on the grads thread, lovely, but just wanted to pop in and send you a (((hug))) here too. You, DH, Alexander and Felicia are in my thoughts xx

Dachs your strength has inspired me xx

I really hope you find the strength and courage to cope with and come to terms with your losses x You have been constantly in my thoughts for days..and will continue to be for a good while yet.

I hope the naming ceremony and the cremation allow you to grieve for your babies and to help you move on.

Words fail me...... just nothing i type seems right

Wishing you everything you need for you both to get through this xxx

Dachs you and your family are always in my thoughts. I can only echo the words of nicks and kat and wish you and mrdachs all the luck and love I have as you work through the next few days, weeks and months. I can't seem to find the right thing to say either, but know that you are in my prayers. x

dachs I've written and re-written and actually I can't find the right words...

You and yours are in my thoughts.

God Bless Felicia and Alexander

Dachs Words are difficult to find so I will just say that I am thinking of you and your DH. xxx

Dachs I don't have the words but am thinking of you, awed by your strength and wishing so hard for happier times ahead for you and DH. Bless you and your dear babies. xx

Oh Dachs I am so broken for both of you . I cannot imagine what you are going through. The good thing about Mumsnet is that you get some great support here and some mums have been through similar so you don't feel so alone. Sending big (((((((()))))))) to you and your dh.

I sometimes complain about my dd aged 4, she has possible ASD with speech and lang developmental delay, and compare her to other NT children, but it just makes me so thankful that my little girl is a live and here and healthy with no illnesses. Dachs you have so much strength, enjoy the holiday its just what you both need. Hopefully one day you might find the strength to have another go.

Dachs I think your plan sounds emminently sensible and I hope that the holiday gives you some space to think. You are constantly in my thoughts and hopes.

Dachs when I re-surfaced after the move to New Zealand I was shocked and deeply saddened to see the awful news of your loss. I really can't begin to understand what you and dh are going through having struggled so hard to conceive your little miracles and then to lose them late in such terrible circumstances. I hope that with time you will learn to live with your grief and be able to make the right decisions for you and your family. Much love. LadyBee xx

Dachs - Like the others I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you and will continue to do so. :(

dachs thank you for letting us know how you are doing. You have been in my thoughts constantly this past week and even more so since Saturday. As others have said, words just fail me. I know nothing i can say can ease your pain. I can't imagine how hard it has been for you and your DH, but as nix said your strength has been inspirational.

Alexandra and Felicia sound beautiful and precious. I know you and your family will never forget them, and neither will we. I hope the naming ceremony and cremation allow you to grieve and bring you just a small amount of peace. I can't imagine how hard the next few days, weeks, months will be for you, but i hope together you and your DH find the strength to get through it and the courage to try again. You deserve your happy ending so much.

Always thinking of the fpur of you xxx

Tuesday 24th May

Tiggersreturn (TTT) 22+0 EDD 26/09/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 21+1 EDD 01/10/11
Lovemysleep 20+0 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 18+2 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 18+0 EDD 23/10/11 next scan 3/6/11
CEP 16+3 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 15+6 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 15+5 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 15+3 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 15+0 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 14+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 14+5 EDD 17/11/11
Collie 14+2 EDD 20/11/11 Next scan 06/07/11
wombatinwaiting: 13+5 EDD 24/11/11 next scan 8/6/11
Banana87: 13+5 EDD 24/11/11 NT
LaraMi 13+4 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 13+1 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 12+1 EDD 5/12/11
Jigglebum 11+5 EDD 8/12/11
Lucky 10+1 Next scan - 19/5/11
Harassed 9+1 EDD 26/12/11
Hadrian 8+5 Next scan - 13/06/11
Updiffed 7+3
Hairylights 6+1
Lily06 5+5 Next scan - 02/06/11
Pigletmania 5+2
Laylasmummy09 5+2

On the grads thread too:
Nickster 29+3 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 25+3 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 24+3 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 25/5/11
Daisybell 23+5 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 22+2 EDD 25/09/11
mamapower 21+6 EDD 28/9/11
Emoo 20+4 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 18+1 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
Velvetcu 18+0 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 16+4 EDD 4/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504,

Hi girls.
I'm feeling so badly about doing this, cos I still feel terrible for Dachs :( - Hate to bring it all back to ME ME ME, But I'm really really needing some help and support, I don't know where else to go.

Everything was going fine until yesterday afternoon, was shopping with DD and my mum and suddenly felt a massive gush of blood. I was soaked through very suddenly, I thought Id wet myself. Anyway, it was blood. So came home feeling very depressed and certain that it was all over for me.

Anyway, managed to get in for a scan this morning, and they found a heartbeat. HB is normal, although there seems to be some reduced fluid around the baby. Midwife says it could all go either way. I measured bang on 7 weeks which was just about what I'd thought based on LMP.

Feel like I am on a rollercoaster. I was convinced I'd miscarried, but there was no pain or clots, just a large heavy bleed.

Think I will get scanned again in 2 weeks or so. Just Terrified, amazed at seeing a HB though. But I Am completely paranoid everytime I go for a wee.

Urgh.. Sorry again

updiffed A few people on here have had bleeding and some have even had clots, and their babies are still fine. I know it's hard, but try not to panic - hold on to the thought that there was a heartbeat at the scan and bean looked fine and comfy. Probably just snuggling in nice and tight

Dachs thanks so much for posting. I know all of us on here have been checking all the time for news from you. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what you and your DH have and are going through. A while back when I had my MC I read a little saying and it stuck with me. When I read about you and your two little babies it was what came to mind...

An angel in the book of life wrote down the babies births.
Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth".

I hope in time the pain can heal a little for both you and your DH but of course Alexander & Felicia will never be forgotton.

You have really touched the hearts of everyone on here and as Collie says, we all wish you the happy ending you deserve.

xx

Updiffed you poor love. I am not surprised you are scared. Can you stay at home and rest for now? If you can be off work I would go home and lie on the sofa with your feet propped up. I don't know how medical a recommendation is but I know when my Mum was carrying me, she had bleeding like you and she stayed in bed for three days with her feet slightly raised on the docs recommendation...and well....I made it into the world!

Try not to panic if you can and take comfort from seeing the heartbeat. Just rest up and I am sure things will settle down

xx

Updiffed sorry you've had a bleed. I have had lots of little ones but no gushes. However, my sister bled between weeks 6-9 almost constantly, soaking a couple of sanitary towels a day. she is now 10weeks, no more bleeding and bean is fine. I know it's impossible not to worry but it can still be ok. You should definately stay at home and rest even if it's just to try and calm the mentalling a bit.

Bump I've been emotional today for various reasons and I too saw that saying just after my mmc and it always makes me sob my heart out so that's what I'm doing now!

Bump that was beautiful and made me cry again for dachs and mr dachs and their beloved Alexander and Felicia.

updiffed sorry you had a bleed, try and take comfort from seeing the hb and make sure you put your feet up and get lots of r & r

Also, don't feel badly about posting about your problems, that is what this board is for and whilst we are all devastated for Dachs I know she would all want us to continue supporting each other through worrying times.

For all those that have not been on the board long enough to know, dachs started the Freak out Room and I know that it would be her wish that we continue to support each other, no matter how little or silly we feel our concerns are in comparison to the dreadful and devastating situation that has filled us all with sadness for dachs.

Just to echo what mamapsaid. This room is for pg freak outs. Nothing is too small or silly. Pregnancy is a scary time and it's good to have somewhere to freak out where other people understand. What happened to me was horrible but that doesn't mean any of your concerns are somehow unworthy. Freak out however much you want, and I wish you all the best of luck with your litle ones. Just give them an extra hug from me when they pop out. :)

I'd forgotten you started this room Dachs. I just went back to look at the first thread and saw all the different posts from those who made it and those who didn't and all your ones around the time you discovered it was twins and what would happen. Made me well up all over again.

Updiffed well done for getting a scan so soon and hope it puts your mind at rest.