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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

REALLY REALLy hate the term INfertility!!

15 replies

kay157 · 09/05/2011 17:03

Anyone else been trying for ages and even though theres no obvious problems with me or my partner we are now classed as in the 'unexplained Infertility' group..i really hate this word because i'm not infertile,it's just mother nature has yet to shine on us..if she ever will!!! But it all seems so final :(

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 09/05/2011 17:07

I too am apparently "infertile".

Clearly I'm not, I mean clearly! Just haven't conceived yet!

eurochick · 09/05/2011 17:12

Agreed. It just makes it sound so impossible. I had a blood test today and in the reason for test box the GP had written "primary infertility". Gulp.

Ariesgirl · 09/05/2011 17:34

"Primary" makes it sound mega-bad even though all it means is you are having difficulty getting pregnant with your first child! Fascists!

eurochick · 09/05/2011 17:36

Indeed. Still, I am grateful he took me seriously and sent me for tests rather than patting me on the head and sending me away for x months, which seems to be the experience of many on here.

I just didn't like seeing the words written in black and white on the test sheet.

juneau · 09/05/2011 17:42

Medical terms often sound unreasonable - or at least utterly tactless and insensitive. Know what doctors call a missed miscarriage? Missed abortion. Yes, abortion.

eurochick · 09/05/2011 17:55

That figures as a miscarriage is a "spontaneous abortion". It is unhelpful terminology!

Original poster
kay157 · 09/05/2011 18:03

That is awful to call it a missed abortion. My doc was really good when i had my first test she explained not to be alarmed that she wrote primary infertility because it doesn't mean that but it was when i had an app with a gyno and he mentioned unexplained infertility which is code for 'your not pregnant and we haven't a clue why so you may as well be infertile' . ARGGHHHHH!!!! yeah thanks for that einstein

OP posts:
Pipbin · 09/05/2011 18:10

Although miscarriage makes it sound like it's the woman's fault. She wasn't carrying properly.

Bexamundo · 09/05/2011 18:48

We are still in the ?subfertility group. Not sure if that makes me think of underwater boats or being in a sub group like inferior?!
The term "abortion" has been adopted by the media. In medicine they call losing a baby an "abortion" and chosing to end a pregnancy a "termination" (cos you terminate the pregnancy). Still has negative connotations though :s

MiniH · 10/05/2011 09:10

Yep - had my gp appointment yesterday and the test form says "primary infertility" which was a bit of a shock

Eurochick - that makes us almost 'test' buddies - will keep fingers crossed that we both get some positive news soon!

herethereandeverywhere · 10/05/2011 09:30

I agree! I'm now lucky enough to have my DD but it took 15 months to conceive her. The month before I got my BFP my Dr referred me for the blood tests (never needed them in the end) but seeing the word "infertility" next to my name in black and white was awful.

Anyway, I guess the moral of my story is it is possible to have associated with you and still go on to get pg and have a healthy baby. Keep the faith!

LankyLegs · 10/05/2011 13:44

Kay am totally with you. We have been trying for 18 months now and nothing found with either me or other half.... but have been referred back to GP and classed as having 'primary sub-infertility'.... in my eyes all that means is that the NHS have not done enough tests to find out what is actually wrong with you... am still holding out for some sort of miracle before we start shovelling £££'s into IVF.

It sucks !

BriansMum · 10/05/2011 13:58

My IVF consultant always used to correct me when I referred to myself as 'infertile' and instead used the term 'sub-fertile'. I went on to have DC so I suppose she was right. You can only really be categorised as 'infertile' if you've come to the end of the road unsuccessfully.

My heart goes out to all of you in this situation - it was by far and away the most stressful and saddest part of my life to date and I hope you are as lucky as we were in the end (5 years and 3 IVFs).

clomidhelpneeded · 10/05/2011 14:05

It was when the gp called across a packed waiting room to the receptionist to take a note of my 'spotaneous abortion' just after a m/c that I completely lost it.

That and when he said that my luteal phase would last 9 months when i got pg so not to worry that it only usually lasted 8 days Angry

I changed gp!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 10/05/2011 15:29

kay157

I do not like this word infertile at all; most couples in these types of situation are actually subfertile with either one or both equally contributing to their subfertility.

"Unexplained infertility" is actually no diagnosis at all. It means that they have basically failed to find out what is wrong. Sometimes it is a "diagnosis" given to couples simply because not enough tests on both parties have been done. They are basically inadequately investigated.

Can put up a list of fertility tests that often get missed off if you so wish.

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