Humph....need to have sex and he's not in the mood!!!

[Ruggettee]

Don't fancy the grilling I'd get in AIBU...

I'm on clomid and this is cycle 5. Have doubled the dose this time and we do day 10, 12, 14 and 16. Not one cycle have we managed all 4 sessions. This one, since I doubled my dose, I really want to. Today is day 12.

DH has had lots of warning and all day he has been putting it off....and still is!! Told him to think sexy thoughts as he shaves, then we'll have "naked time".

Just wanted to rant really - not the kind of thing you can rant about in RL!

Thank you for listening

I sympathise so much! It's hard to suppress the desire to bark out "shag me NOW" orders in the same voice I might use to insist he "clean that beard-hairy sink NOW." Regardless of how shrivelling a voice it might be...

Yup, had that prob too. Had a 3 cycle not trying break to improve the quality of the sex.
I suggested using a syringe every other time (thought he'd cringe!) and he loves the idea - takes the pressure off I guess. Agreed to start having swi again next cycle and he already feels better about it.
Hope you get the bd underway shortly!

have u tried all the obvious stuff that might perhaps get him into acton, plus more adventurous stuff depending on how much you REALLY want to get that swi .....raunchy lingerie, toys, porn, handcuffs, swi in the car/outside somewhere....??

I know full well ttc sex can become a drag for both parties and it is reasonable to not always be in the mood. Fair enough.

BUT, you are having to go through all that hormonal fertility treatment and put your body through all that. All he has to do is have a bloody orgasm. He's already got it easier than you and since you have got to the fertility treatment stage, I guess you have been trying for ages. So he needs to get with the programme a bit more so you don't have to waste tour clomid cycles pointlessly. That said, three times a week ought to do the trick in my opinion.

Fortunately I have not had to take the drugs yet. I just did not often mention ttc to my man. He could continue thinking that I was just amazingly turned on and really lusting after three times weekly shags. Clearly he ha some idea about when mid cycle is but I decided not to give him the daily ovulation update and just pretend to really need a shag asap on the good days!

"all he has to do is have a bloody orgasm". Hmm, if only it were that easy. There is a world of distress, insecurity and unhappiness just beneath that simple sentence.

Of course, nesbo. And part of the problem when ttc is that there is an actual need for him to ejaculate, so it is harder for the female to be loving and sympathetic and so on than it would be during non-ttc sex. Obviously we all ARE loving and sympathetic, but it definitely takes more of an effort. For me at any rate.

For me too! Bless them.

Thank you all for your words of support and understanding. Didn't reply as had taken dreaming's advice and donned the sexy stockings and bodice and it worked!!

Although I'd like to not tell him when the time is, so as to reduce the pressure, he would be v suspicious, as we tend to only do it once a week otherwise, and generally at weekends. And that doesn't fit with the cycle!

Bless him, he knows I'm going through a fair bit with the hormones. And once I wasn't slobbing around in my sweatpants, he was able to get in the mood.

Found that mornings are the best for him - he often wakes up "ready" so I just have to get my head round doing it that early!!

excellent :D seduce seduce seduce! xx