Assisted Conception (and all the bits in between) volume 7

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi ladies Pumplinjoy, Shirley, Lissy, Keziah, Womanly,Val, Late, monkeybumsmum, tametortie and Rowing* - hugs to you all.

woowa of course you can join us.

Choco and Horton and londonlottie do you still look in on us?

Can you all find us?

Did anyone buy (or attempt to buy) any tickets to the London Olympics?

Italian-I'm back in the UK. We applied for tickets to the London Olympics a while ago. DH is paraplegic, so we're hoping they'll approve tix for the events we want to see. I'm sure you've heard my story about close friend, but here goes...

One of my closest friends didn't get married until her early 40's. DH has one daughter (who was 22 when we met) from previous marriage. We were all really close. Right after I moved to London, I came home for a visit, and friend asked if I would carry a baby for her. We concocted a scenario where I would get pregnant with twins, both my eggs, but one with my DH sperm and the other with her DH sperm. Obviously that kind of science isn't possible, and when I realized that, I offered to sell her some of my eggs to use for herself or a surrogate. We were just given a two year waiting time for our NHS funded cycle and knew we were going private, and I thought that rather than her wait for eggs to be donated, we would both be able to get something out of it...me funding for a private cycle, and her eggs to do with what she wanted. She freaked out on me. First, she called and told me that I was too old, and she didn't want my eggs. Then she called and told me that I was a mercenary peddler of eggs, that I was unsympathetic and unempathetic to her situation, that I didn't know what it was like to be her age and not have a baby (she was almost fifty at the time). I told her that all I wanted was for her and her DH to have a baby and be happy, but it was my dream to have a baby too, and no, I can't relate to being almost fifty, although how can that be my fault? I didn't talk to her for months after that. When I called to speak to a mutual friend months later, she put friend on the phone, and we had a perfectly normal conversation. Then I got an email from her saying how disappointed she was in me, how much she and DH did for me, blah blah blah. I wrote back saying that my only intention was to help friend and DH to have a baby. She wrote back saying I was selfish and self-absorbed. I wrote back one final time to tell her that if she didn't see that all I wanted was to try and find ways to help her and DH reach their goal, then there was nothing left to talk about. I said she was being hypersensitive and overreactive, and that she should seek some counseling. And that was it. Since then, she has stopped speaking to our mutual friend because mutual friend had a baby and is pregnant with her second. I've been in the rage stage since the whole thing happened. I was in such shock and disbelief that she could say such things to me, but then I realized that she wasn't getting her way, so she lashed out at me. She has pushed away all those in her life with kids, or those friends who have the possibility of getting pregnant. I know she was looking at adoption and surrogacy, but by the time she gets her wish she'll have burned her bridges and have no one to share it with. The whole thing has shaken me, and I don't think I will ever forgive her.

So now you know my story. Incidentally, I think friend's DH understood where I was coming from, but he obviously can't come out and say that to friend.

Oh Lissy what a sad story. Hope you can forget it, and one day forgive her. Maybe she is pre-menopausal and it might make you a bit crazy. I can say that because I am 46 and 50 is looking WAY too close!

Hugs to you and all the best for your efforts to get this little baby for you and DH. Did not realise you were a step mom. Is that good, bad, indifferent? My friend is step mom to a twenty something but also mom to a primary aged child, both girls.

God bless and thanks for sharing.

Yes, I am saying mom not mum because she is American too!

Hugs.

Italian- I'm not a stepmom, former friend is. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

Lissy No worries. I though you meant you not her.

Not sure if I mentioned before but DH and I had a counselling session at Spring Harvest and I feel so much lighter, I can let it all go. If I never have another baby so be it. I also know now that DH is on board about adoption if that will be the option. Did I mention that before?

Love this song - I may need to 'let it go'...

Hopefully only a few more weeks to go.

Italian I think a lot has to be said for counselling- it can be sooooo beneficial.

Glad it has made you feel better

Hi All!

Thank you ALL for your lovely posts. It helps so much having such lovely positive peolple on side. Those in the 'real' world can be a bit negative.

Tortie - Egg collection is not painful. It's like being really drunk and having a hazy recollection of events...

I'm about to go back to clinic for tranfer - or at least that is the plan, 4 eggs fertilised and they haven't looked at them since so fingers crossed at least one is good to go!

Love and chocolate boobs!

Hi ladies,
Can I join you please? I have been lurking for a few days and you seem like a lovely lot I'm 39 (40 soon), and have one beautiful DS aged 3.5. Last year I had 2 pregnancies, one ending at a termination at 20 weeks due to a lethal abnormality detected in the 20 week scan, then I lost another a few months later at 8 weeks. That was last June. Since then we've been ttc but nothing has happened. In January we went for tests to make sure everything is still working as it should. I have a low ovarian reserve, but other than that everything seems to be working fine; ovulating regularly, good size egg etc. My DH has a high sperm count (98 mil) but also has high abnormality rate (98%). Two years ago he was diagnosed with MS and takes quite a lot of medication. The doctors have made a suggestion that the medications might have affected his sperm, which in turn might have caused the recent problems. The treatment of DH's MS is the priority, so there's no way he's coming off the drugs, but as a result they have recommended IUI (one or two cycles) and then ICSI. From what I read IUI's success rates are pretty low, so I think I might just have one IUI. I am starting my IUI cycle in about a week, have all the drugs sitting waiting! At the moment we are at Viveka/CRM London, but I'm thinking of moving to ARGC if it comes to ICSI as their stats are much better for my age group. Does anyone have any experience of ARGC? Also, I'm just having one of those days that creep on you every so often where everyone is pregnant apart from you, there are newborns everywhere and even the strongest resolve at staying positive is hard to keep . I'm sure you all understand.
Congrats on the egg collection nooknook and everything crossed for the transfer

Lucy-Hi and welcome! I have just started my first cycle at ARGC. They are wonderfully accomodating, as my DH is paraplegic, and when we had to do our consultation they cleared out the file room on the ground floor for us, as well as taking blood from him. They are VERY busy, always packed, so don't expect personalization, but they are extremely efficient. I feel really good about it. I chose them because of their statistics as well...

Nook-Yay for egg transfer! Hope all goes well...

AFM, sniffing at 8 hour intervals. Spent a gorgeous day in Chelsea with DH yesterday. Had such a lovely time together. We really needed it, as since we've gotten back from holiday he hasn't exactly been my favorite person. But hopefully back on track now. Have a great long weekend everyone!

That's good to hear that you've been impressed so far lissy. How long did you have to wait between your first consultation and treatment starting? Is this your first go? I hope you're not feeling too rubbish on the drugs and am glad you had a nice day with DH. I've only just sent my registration form in so expect to have to wait 6 - 8 weeks for an appt. I'm glad I'm doing IUI if only cos it'll keep me busy while I wait for the appt!

Hi all,

Lissy that is sad about your friend. It all sounds very stressful. I hope she is finding some peace now with the family she has.
How is DR going - how exciting!!! [shriek]
Yes and not really into the removing body organ weight loss plan myself, but hey, if it works!

Lucy welcome. There have been a few successful pgs on here at ARGC, they seem to do everything they can to ensure success.

Italian what's happening! Are you preparing for the coming storm! Is May still looking likely?

Tortie that was so generous of you to donate eggs. There must be women out there today with children thanks to your act. I hope your kharma payback is coming and you get your bfp very soon.

I'm not so good. Stoopid hrt medication is prolonging AF, now have had 6 full days of bleeding. The Doc said 6 days were 'maximal' so if it hasn't stopped tomorrow morning I'm going to email him to cancel FET - AGAIN! [sob]
Had a real binge yesterday, was feeling fed-up and ate biscuits and chocolate at work (why do they buy that stuff!? It's like a sweet shop!)

I cannot seem to stop eating shit food- whole Easter egg last night, star bucks today, I've gone sugar mad.

welcome Lucy- argc does seem to have the gold standard doesn't it?? We are in the midlands though so London clinics would be a stressful journey to and from appointments. We keep looking at nurture in Nottingham if our go at crm in coventry does not work. although, I do have a really good quote from eugin in Barcelona and a promise that to do ivf there you only need 2 trips. Am half tempted to book an appointment for the autumn- clinic looks beautiful, flights aren't a bad price, stats are excellent and Barcelona is lovely. Well worth a look. X should be being positive really and not looking at other clinics!!!!!

tortie I think research into Barcelona is a great idea. It's always good to have a contingency plan, and if all goes well at CRM and you get your bfp, you could still visit Barcelona for a 'babymoon'
rowing sorry, but what is FET? Fingers crossed that bleeding stops and all still goes to plan this cycle.
I know what you both mean about rubbish food, it's so hard to resist especially ar Easter. I've steadily worked my way through my chocolate, and have now started on ds's and dh's I'm working on the logic that when I've eaten it all, temptation will be gone too

tortie - can totally empathise with food eating right now! I have loved reading about your desire to egg share ... wish there were more lovely people out there like you, but sorry it has come full circle!

Hi lucylookout - hope all goes well. Having had to go straight for ICSI (our one and only, but thankful for NHS attempt) I am wishing we had been allowed to do IUI first, so could have made more of our ICSI - like reaction to medication, stimmulation being poor etc. In my head I would have asked more and thought more and maybe done some things differently. So hope if you do it that (IUI) it is positive for you (well hopefully a bfp first time!) Love your logic with the chocolate. Got given a plant -sigh, so seem to be making up for NO Easter egg - and not given one at church either (! oh to be a child!)

Itallian great you and Dh agree about adoption now. Wow, a useful session at Spring Harvest - wishing I had gone there now, not been for years - wanted to go again when "had a child" - oh the irony of that means not been for long time!

well I can hobble about on a crutch now - no idea about if I can go to work, but thank goodness for more bank hols! x

Hi all,

Keziah, I'm glad you are mobile. How are the tests, anything found to explain your collapse? At least you can hobble in the sunshine at the moment.

Lucy FET is frozen embryo transfer. I don't know how much you know about the process, but it's what they do with left over embryos after IVF, if the quality is OK.
I'm going for donor embryo, which is more or less like adoption, but without the 2 year wait and the training (actually, I think I could do with the training).

I think the bleeding might be slowing. Scared to check...

Lucy-It took about six weeks for us to get an appointment at ARGC. Before you start an actual cycle, you have to do one month of a monitoring cycle, where they test your hormones, wait for you to ovulate, do a mid-cycle ultrasound, etc. They do this so they can figure out how you work, and therefore get the best idea of which kind of cycle is right for you. I did my monitoring cycle in January, but waited until now to start IVF cycle as DH and I went to Hawaii for my brother's wedding, and I would've gotten my BFP right before we went away.

Keziah-Glad to hear you're hobbling about. Are you feeling better? What a scary experience for you...I hope they'll be able to tell you what the cause is. It makes things a little less scary when there's an explanation.

rowing-DR is going fine. Felt super nauseous last night, but don't know if it was the drugs or DH's driving. I hope the bleeding is slowing down. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to postpone again!

tortie- I agree with Lucy! You can babymoon in Barcelona! How romantic!

Italian-It must be such a relief to you and DH that things were aired in your counselling session. A huge weight was probably lifted off your shoulders! And it's still totally amazing to adopt. I'm thinking of putting myself on a list regardless of what happens...

Congrats to Wills and Kate! Have a great day!

OOOOOOOH a babymoon!!!! how romantic!!!! Hope we get that far.....

I am pleased to be egg sharing, I love the thought of somebody else being given a chance which they otherwise wouldnt have had. Although I am in a bit of a grump with my 'receiving lady' at present Baseline scan is on Monday and we have to go to the clinic at totally opposite ends of the day so that we don't bump into each other. Well, my 'lady' (lets call her M-egg-an!!) has requested late appointments so that 'she can have a lie in and rest!!!'. So, I have to be at the clinic for 8am with DD which means getting her up at 6am so that we can get parked at the hospital. I don't think that is very fair??!! But I feel very uncharitable and negative getting angry about it so am biting my tongue, smiling sweetly and getting early nights before all my scans. However, I will say one thing......

I hope Meggan gets a baby that wakes her up VERY early!!!!

Hi all,

Lissy, laughing at your DH's driving, although I'm sure you don't. Are you a back seat driver. I'm awful. I'm always telling DP to drive faster (yeah right!) He goes round corners at 50 miles an hour or something ridiculous. Hope the nausea goes away soon. Do you think probiotics would help?

Tortie grr at Meggy. How lovely to have a lie-in!
I hope she realises all your eggs are going to be in a bad mood and might walk out in protest if she keeps that up. I hope, for her sake, they don't walk out after transfer, that would teach her. Actually, this is getting a bit surreal.

I think the bleeding has almost stopped [whispering in case it hears]. So better start eating apples or something and not Easter eggs.

Ha Ha!!!! Rowing- thats hilarious!!!

If my eggs go into hiding on EC day, I will slip Meg a note saying 'bet you wish you'd let me have a lie in now!!!'

Nook hooray, wow, 4 fertilised. [cgrin] [cgrin] [cgrin] [cgrin]

lucylookout welcome. May it be a short and sweet stay here. Yes, I know that feeling. Babies everywhere. When DH and I started to try we were attending a big church where there were babies and pregnant women everywhere, you could not get to the front of the church without tripping over a barrage of prams! (We now attend a small church where our DH is the youngest child who regularly attends the Sunday school!) It is hard to see people having babies left and right but just think soon that will be you. [cwink] Really hope that the treatment works (Our dd was born as a result of IUI when I was 39.)

Lissy hugs for you and more a lovely time for you and DH.

rowingboat Well they have not said May but they have said we are near the top of the list so I am, hopeful.

rowingboat Yes, my workplace is always full of chocs and cakes. It is tough.

Tamtortie don?t be too hard on yourself, it is a stressful time. It is a delicious sounding breakfast ? chocolate egg!

If you are interested in my food journey, take a look at my thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1191480-Anyone-struggling-with-compulsive-ways-of-eating-Anyone-getting-any-answers?msgid=24845798#24845798

Tamtortie all the best and do let me know if you go to Spain, exciting! What am I saying, what I mean is I hope this one works. Does your lady realise you will have to get up so early! Wow, it is so weird to see it all from the other side! At my clinic too they put the appointments at different times of the day. It is just so exciting.

Keziah hugs to you dear sweet girl and get well soon.

woowa Thanks for your prayers for my dear friend, still not seen her, we are communicating by text, I think it is very hard for her to see people at the moment.

Pumplinjoy, Shirley, Womanly,Val, Late, monkeybumsmum, tametortie and all - hugs to you all.

Choco, Penguindreams, Tracybeagle, Horton and londonlottie do you still look in on us?

What are you doing for the Royal Wedding, guys?

I am not a Royalist particularly but I like history and I think by drinking Carva and eating smoked salmon with my friend (and watching the Royal wedding) I am part of history. I also requested tickets for the Olympics (and I am NOT sporty) but again if we them we shall be part of history. We have requested the £20 tickets for three things and will (if we are successful) probably be watching the Olympics form the back row (possibly in Neasden!).

Anyone else hoping to go? [cwink]

To the Olympics not the wedding! [egrin]

Don?t want to be a real alarmist but my friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and another friend of a friend is suffering with it so please ladies check your boobs. Please do that if you have tingling and odd feeling boobs (which the ladies on the other thread I post on always seem to!) just to be on the safe side.

Sorry, just a couple of sites because I am thinking of my friend....

www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_diet_cancer_prevention.htm

www.lifetimefatloss.com/anti-cancer-diet.html

Safety commercial over! [cgrin]

What I really mean is check them whether or not they are tingling, just check them.

hugs to all {BIG KISS FOR ROYAL WEDDING}