TTC after a Miscarriage - Wishing you all more baby dust than is physically possible to type!!

[Coathanger]

Thats better!!!!

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And thats only a small sample of what I am wishing you!

I wish you all every happiness and great TTC success.

Much love to all of you, you'll always be my friends!

XXXXXX

Message withdrawn

just a quick post this morning, started to bleed again last night quite heavily so this morning i went to gp and when i told her she done a pt and said the line was v v faint and it looked as though i have had an early m/c if i get any severe pain or feel generaly unwell to go back!!! How much more unwell can i be???? i think i am ready to give up now, i cant keep going through this i feel so drained in every way possible, and the worst part is that none of my family know what im going through so i cant tell them why im so low all the time. just have to plaster that smile on my face and pretend that everything is ok . im sorry for waffling on will keep you posted if anything else happens.
Shelley huge hugs to you xxxxx

Shelley as you already know I have been in the same position as you. There is obviously some weird human pattern here. This happened to me to. I put it down to fear of the unknown. A lot of people will do absolutly anything to avoid the real issue and sometimes are quite harsh and that's when flight behaviour comes into it. The xmas do scenario was probably because the guy was in a position where he was unable to express any sympathy firstly because it was too public and secondly because he did not want to upset you by talking about it. I really don't want to seem harsh but could you have imagined it if he had asked how you were and expressed his sympathies to you infront of everyone. He could have put himself in a very awkward position. A similar thing happened to me on my rtn to work. I asked to speak to my boss alone (I was terrfied, but not as terrified as I am sure he was). I told him exactly how I felt and he apoligised to me. On my first day back, I didn't even see my boss. On my second day, he walked into the office spent 45 minutes talking and joking with others then as he walked past me asked how I was. He didn't even wait to hear a response and just walked on. I felt like shit. I spoke to DH on the phone who told me to leave there and then. I stuck it out and now have a better relationship with my boss.

Shelley, it is so hard but once you have said something to him, he will probably admire you being so gutsy. Why should you let some spur of the moment insensitive comment make you leave a job that you love doing.

One last thing if you have a human resources person within your company speak to them regarding your hours and leave. Ms jobsworth has got her blinkers firmly positioned and has obviuosly swallowed the mannual on what you can and can't do when working part time. MAKE SURE OF YOUR RIGHTS!

I really don't want you to think that I am lecturing you or anything. Though there are similarities in our circumstances we are both different individuals. This is only some freindly advice. Do what you feel is right for you. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

carly82,
I am so sorry.
Be strong and don't give up. It will happen. I need you guys to be strong with me. We will all be sucessful one day soon. I am sure of it.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sheeley I meant she not he (boss).

Carly - I'm sooooo sorry. Is it a definate mc or could it just be bleeding during the pg? Is there anyway they can tell for certain? Can they not let you have a scan and check for the sac?

I really dont know what else to say, I think you should tell you family, or at least the close ones that you see everyday so they dont think you're just being moody.

Whatever you do, whatever happens, we're all here for you and feel for you. You're a great gal and I really hope everything goes ok for you.

my gp said they wouldnt scan as it was too early and will only scan me in a weeks time if im in severe pain this time the bleeding is much heavier and im still bleeding this morning

Carly im so sorry to hear this. I dont know what to say. Take care xxxxxx

Just lurking to see how you all are.
Carly- so sorry about what you're going through. Why is life like this?

Wannabump- I've worked in nurseries and schools and I'm amazed at the amount of backstabbing that goes on. Wondered whether you might consider going to Citizens Advice? I really don't think they've got a leg to stand on with all this "no holiday until you've been part-time for a year" cr@p, especially after having worked there for 4 years.

Hope everyone else is well.

I cant believe they're refusing to scan you. How do they know whether your mcing or not? Just cos the line is fainter. What does that mean, it just means that your levels arent very strong. You'd be about 5wks now wouldnt you? So surely something would be there. I went for a dating scan when I was only 6wks and there was a fully formed baby (sorry if that upsets you) you're only 1 wks behind where I Was.

Sorry for ranting carly but I think that it is just shit, How can they not check? Can you get another GP's advice? What about Hospital visit?

O Carly, I'm really sorry, I hope by me saying the stuff I have its not upset you, or anything. I just get confused by the medical proffession.

carly82,
I wish I had told my family about my m/c's. I told them about the first one and never mentioned the others. This was just because my father had died not long b 4 I m/c the first time and my mum was distraught. I suppose I did this to protect her. If you feel that they will be supportive then tell them. It helps when you talk to someone.

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i took in the tests that i done tuesday and compared to them the line was hardly there and they were both 25miu she did explain that if i hadnt done the early tests i probably wouldnt have even known i was pregnant, and this happens in almost 50% of pregnancies???!!!! then she said to go home as there wasnt anything else i could do until next week (and that is only if im in a lot of pain)

I'm sorry Carly, I really dont know what to say to help you. I still dont understand why they wont give you a scan. When they say a lot of pain what do they mean? (why would you be in a lot of pain if the pg hasnt progressed very far, it would just be like having an af) are they worried about ectopics? or is it just af pain they're worried about?

Message withdrawn

i will prob go back in a weeks time for a hcg blood test and they are worried about infection as when i had my first and second m/c i had a womb infection when part of the embryo didnt come away

oh carly, I really wish I could give you something positive to think about but I know nothing is positive when this is happening is it?

NEVER FEAR -
CH IS HERE!!

For a limited time I am here to offer everyone Group {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and lots of love and kisses, coz thats what you all need here.

Shelly - HUnni, I am so sorry you're having such a bloody horrible time. I can't say anything to make it better but give you're self time to calm down then make a decision on what you will do. Don't make any rash decisions. I'm thinking of you sweetie XXXXX

Carly - You too sweetheart, you're in my thoughts too. You know you have so much support on here so don't go through anything alone. XXXXX

I wish I had a magic wand sometimes.....

oh Carly - i am so sorry to hear your news. wonder f it is worth telling your family, whats happening, you need as much support as you can get at a time like this. I'm sure they will understand why you didn't want to say anything in the beginning. I hope you're managing to rest,a nd make sure you conserve your energy, you must be feeling so drained.
we're here if you need us.

Where abouts in the country are you carly? woudl you be willing to go private for a scan? it saves you being left in limbo, not knowing what to think. I could have a quick search for a clinic near you. they woudl do it asap

See thats what I thought the NHS would provide, even if she's only 3wks surely they'll be at least a sac there? I'm so confused by this whole mc and medical people.

Because early mc's happen so often they tend to just let them get on with it when they've got to remember that the actual people going through it need some kind of help or support. I felt really let down when I had mine and I really feel for anyone who get left to it.

mums - i think they just fob us off with rubbish info thinking we don't knwo whats going on. They told me they couldn't do one because if it was goign to happen then they couldn't stop it, and there was no point. Even for my piece of mind and I was 7 wks!!! they are useless.

But I've read (cant remember where) that some things they can stop during the early stage of a mc. (mostly at later stages)

They can give you something to make your cervix stay shut, if the feotus looks like its ok. (hence my thought about a scan) I dont know if i've read wrong or something

mumswish, if there is a known problem b 4 conception, for example they give you an anti d injection when bloods are non compatible. If you bleed at about 6 to 8 weeks the jab is given. To keep the cervix closed they normally offer progesterone suppositries. These are things which should be found out during your appointment at a recurrent m/c clinic. You are given an appointment after 3 or more consecutive m/c. Not before this time (unless u go private) They do loads of blood tests which are taken from you and your partner. Even then it doesn't always work.
Take me for example. I have had 5 m/c's in just over 12mths. I had all tests and no problems found. During the last pregnancy I was injecting heparin taking aspirin and progesterone every day. None of which made a difference to the pregnancy. I started to bleed and the consultant told me just to rest and that there was nothing more they could do. A scan would make no difference to the out come. I actually had a scan at the EPU and all they could see was blood and an empty sac. I have no idea why this keeps happening to me, but I will just keep going.

ok I concede defeat. I just feel so helpless whenever I hear of anything like this. You've all become very good friends to me, and it makes it even worse that you're all on the net makes it worse cos I cant even give you all hugs to make it better.

Maybe moving on to other things now ye?

I wasn't being bulshy. I am like you. I wish there was something more they could do or at least pretend to do. It does feel so hopeless sometimes