Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 15)

[meliesmummy]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wtcc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

part 14 of the thread

stats to follow

Thanks blackkat suggestions would be great. Last time we had afternoon tea was after a spa day in lovely hotel for her birthday. Think I prefer that idea as have relaxing surroundings but she was up that way recently and noticed they did afternoon tea in the city. Don't know the name of the place, but the restraunt that always has a queue outside. She suggested there. Have you ever been.... If you know what I'm on about???

porpentine remind me when your mc was? Have you had AF since? Or a bfn? Good that they're looking into it. Could be retained products but fx it's something more positive.....it's not unheard of! Let us know what the results say.

blackkat and collie I'm glad that despite the difficult times you've been having lately you managed to have a good day with your mums.

freelance I've got Lesley regans book, it's good but I found it's very much aimed at people who have had recurrent mcs, it scared me a bit to be honest because it goes into all the causes, I was looking more for something that would tell me about the causes but also recovery. So if you read it try not to self diagnose like I did!

porp how frustrating for you. I hope that your results give you some answers and that you get support from your gp. Fx it's good news x

porp hope it's good news, I'm sure you said you'd already had one AF, so FX it's good news.

Collie your mum is talking about Betty's which is good and lovely, but there is always a bloody big queue outside the mainshop , there's a smaller version (less 20's themed) on Stonegate round the corner which more often than not has tables. I don't think you can book ahead at either.

If you're set on afternoon tea, Betty's really is best for that traditional experience, but if you're looking for somewhere to have lunch then try Le Langhe or Meltons Too, both have websites and do very,very good food (and aren't really on the tourist trail, so don't tell everyone!) The cafe at City Screen on Coney Street has good river views too.

There's a beautiful old church, Holy Trinity on Goodramgate, which is a quiet and really tranquil place. I head there for a break from the crowds sometimes. Lots of good shops too . Have a really lovely time.

mel sorry x post (bcs it took me so long to type!) Hope you've had a good day too x

Hello all - sorry did pop in here last week at the end of my mc and then been rather distracted.....quick question for any of you who might know.....finished bleeding last Sunday - did a test on Thursday and still got a bfp - phoned gp who has arranged for me to have a scan this Wed coming, but I know that I am not pg as lost all symptoms and really bled a lot - today started to bleed again - is this AF? wouldnt that be too soon, so is it still mc??? just want to get on with ttc again - was only 5 weeks. Need to really stop thinking about it all so much!! Sorry to bombard you with this when new to thread but would love some advice from all those who are ahead of the game!
Hope you all had a lovely day.

Hi all,

Sorry for the lack of activity for a while - things have been really busy and I have now gone back to work. Less time for mn .

Big congratulations to all the new BFPs, and so sorry for all the new people on the thread.

Good news for me this weekend. My first post-mmc AF arrived on Friday - exactly 4 weeks and 1 day after the ERPC. It has been pretty vile and heavy, but I am just very relieved that it is here, and has arrived in such a regular fashion. My cycle was always 28/29 days, so I am glad that the mmc hasn't thrown my body off completely. Also another emotional breakthrough: my best friend gave birth to her baby girl today and instead of getting the gut-wrenching "oh god" feeling that I had been getting when seeing pregnant ladies, I am geniunely thrilled. Not even a little bit jealous - which is a big breakthrough for me. I am feeling really positive about things now. I just wanted to let all of the new ladies know that it really does get better with time. 4 weeks on from the ERPC I am focussing on the positive things: I have booked lots of tickets to shows, nights out, etc. All my friends with children keep telling me to enjoy myself whilst I can still go out regularly. A few weeks ago this felt like a kick in the stomach, but I have decided to take their advice! Like freelancegirl said in another thread, it is really important to find the good in every situation. Maybe it is just the onset of spring and a few decent days of good weather, but I am feeling very perky today. Just wanted to pass on some of the good feeling .

Hope that you are all having a wonderful weekend!

mopey, how long is it since your mc started? I got to 11 weeks so would have probably had higher pg hormone levels than you and I had a negative test 2 1/2 weeks later and af a few days after that. But the fact that you had a positive on tues suggests that it's probably still your mc sorry. Could you do a test and see what it says now? Fx for your scan x

Hi secure, glad you are feeling positive.

Sorry collie I meant to say earlier that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, what time is your appointment? All the best wishes in the world xxx

Hi Melliesmummy - thanks for that - so just went and did another test now - a cbdigi one I had left over and it said 1-2 weeks - I would be 6 weeks by now (had major bleeding last Thurs - Sun then nothing for a week) so obviously hormone levels are just taking a while to go down still so guess that means I couldnt be getting AF yet and it must be more mc.....argh need to move on from this one!! Just want to get a bfn and next AF so can wait for next cycle and try again - sorry to rant on.....lovely to read all your news on this thread and see everyone's different stages x

mopey even though the bleed has stopped you can still have high levels of HCG
This website is most, most helpful with information about timescales and also what to expect and how to know if it is AF or still follow on bleeding.

(((hugs))) take care of yourself xx

www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm

mopey hopefully your new bleeding is the last bits coming away then.

Thanks for that Blackkat - thats a great website - cleared that one up then - seems like it is definitly still tissue and I'll have to wait at least 4 weeks until next AF - what are most people doing about ttc, waiting a cycle or trying straight away?

mopey that website also has some really good advice about TTC or waiting.

Generally, once you have a clean scan/0 HCG levels, you can TTC, but the medical profession (from what I've read and been told) advise you to wait so that they can better date any future pregnancy.

There are some of us here who've waited and others who've tried straight away. It really is a personal decision. The question I asked myself was "Am I ready to deal with the ups and downs of another pregnancy, and can I deal with this another m/c if it happens again"

Personally, I was also massively anaemic due to blood loss so needed to build my physical and emotional strength back up. HTH

Thanks blackkat - really good to get some thoughts on it all - not been able to really talk about it as hadnt told many people.
Will check out that website.
Good luck yourself x

Thanks blackkat for the suggestions. It was afternoon tea we were after but I was hoping you could book so will check out suggestions you made. Like the sound of the area near the old church, especially the shops

mopey it prob does sound like it's the back end of your mc. Keep testing and hopefully you'll get a bfn soon. So sorry your going through this, the wait is very hard I know. Agree with blackkat about when to ttc again. It's a personal choice, think the main reason gp says to wait is dating. After my mc all I wanted to do was ttc straight away, but couldn't as dh way away working in states. In the end I was glad as on reflection I wasn't ready and was trying to replace my loss with a new pg, rather than getting over the grief of my lost first. I'm not saying that's the same for everyone, and some lovely ladies on here have gone on to get bfp's before their first AF. But i suppose it's like blackkat said, just make sure you're emotionally ready.

Scan is at 10.15 mels thanks for asking. [nervous emoticon]

Good luck to chloe too at gp tomorrow.

secure glad you've had nice weekend. Lovely to hear you so up beat.

Mondays List

ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 3

TTC
wellieboots cycle 2, UCL 29 or 30, CD33
HidingInTheUndergrowth TTC#1, cycle 5 UCL 28 CD31
MumTumWanted TTC#2, cycle 2, UCL29 CD26
laylasmummy09 ttc#2 mc#2 28/28days cycle 1 CD25
Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 7 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD24
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed: TTC no1, MC no2, Jan 2011, UCL 28/29 CD23
Minnie74 ttc#1 cycle 4, ucl28 CD22
lily06 TTC#1 EP Jan 10, MC May 10, UCL 25-? CD20
Olismum TTC#2 cycle 2, UCL 31 CD19
Shorty ttc#2 cycle 2, ucl 30 CD16
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, cycle 2, UCL35-40,CD16
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD35 postMC#2 UCL26-32, CD15
Meliesmummy TTC #2 cycle 2 CD13
harassedinherpants TTC#4, MC#3, UCL 28 or 31, WTF cycle, CD13
tokyotwist TTC#2 MC#1 Feb2011 CD12
vegasmum ttc#3 wttc ucl28-30 CD12
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 8 UCL33 CD9
Skitoo TTC#1, WTF CD?
Angela85 ttc#2 cycle 1 ucl ?

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
MaybeBaby TTC#1 MC#1
babypops
WildSheepChase TTC#2 MC#6 Jan 2011, UCL 33-36
LadyBee TTC#2, UCL27
Brooke ttc#1? wttc ucl? WTF
Milkyway2007 ttc#? wttc ucl? WTF
jkklpu wtc ucl? WTF
securegal, TTC#1 MC#1 March 2011, WTF, UCL 28
Reallyusefulengine TTC#3 MC#Mar 2011, UCL 26-28 days
Freelancegirl ttc#2 WTF cycle ucl 28-38
Gimmegimmegimme ttc #3 mmc mar 11 ucl 28-32

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26
Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle7 UCL28-32 (Lurking)

RECENT BFP's
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD30 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD30 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD31 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD29
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD29 BFP 7/2/2011
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, 18/2/11
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) BFP 23/02/11
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 BFP 24/2/11
Hils74 TTC#1 MC#1 Jan 2011 BFP 28/2/11
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 bfp 02/3/11
Ninunina TTC#1, MC#1, WTF cycle, bfp 09/03/11
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 40 BFP 17/03/2011
Banana87, TTC#2, MC#3, UCL35-37 bfp 17/3/2011
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 8 UCL 24-30 BFP 18/03/2011
Iggly TTC#2, UCL 29-31 bfp 18/3/11
Blackkat TTC#1, MC#1 Jan 2011, Cycle 1, UCLrandom CD32, BFP 30/3/2011

RECENT GRADUATES

VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP 24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oct
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov
Inbetweener BFP 10 Nov
Owlbooty BFP
Nickstermum BFP
DachshundsRule BFP 25 Jan 2011

Thinking of?

Digitalgirl, Hairytriangle and AandRmum xx

Good luck today collie, will be lurking for you later!

How are you Chloe/

Waves to everyone else, have a good Monday!

morning all, hope you're all ok.

collie good luck for the scan

chloe good luck for the gp, hope they'll refer you to a different hosp.

another really bad night with ds last night. am wondering if his multi vit's are giving him too much enery. he has it at various times of day. we've put the travel cot up so if he gets up again he'll go in there, had enough of him going from one bedroom to another. HV's didn't call me back last week so will try them again later today and see what happens.

hope you all have a good day.

Cep that sounds awful, good idea to try the travel cot. What about a safety gate at his door, or would he just stand at it and scream? I hope you manage to get some help from your hv.

Morning ladies,

Well, gp trip was a success, she is referring me to a different hospital and she was disgusted at the lack of mid cycle monitoring I have been having. She did also say that she has known of a lady who got discharged from said hospital whilst still on Clomid! Am so glad I will evenetually be looked after properly - just not sure now whether to start clomid again next time round which is in approx a weeks time (have been trying not to look at what cd I'm on and have no idea whether I am post ov or not as don't even know if I o!) I am gonna be super duper strong and not take a HPT til after next weekend as I went through about 10 last month, not believing any one

lily06 and olis good to see you both back. lily I hope you are feeling a bit better today, I regularly have peaks and troughs in my emotions but the troughs do seem to be coming less and less 7 months on.

mumtum how are you this morning? Hope things are ok your end.

cep you poor love you must be absolutely knackered Do you have any friends/family around to give you a bit of a break from ds? I know it won't help the issue but might at least give you a breather to get some unbroken sleep?

collie How are you my lovely? Any symtoms kicking in yet?

blackkat well done you on the moving lists. How is your dad at the moment? When do you think you might be telling your family?

Porpentine Fingers xd this is a new pg for you and not from your MC. Do you think it could be? Have you been dtd a fair bit since?

melies Am I being thick? What on earth is a showcave?? It sounds like you had fun though. Hope dh wasn't too tired/hungover last night

mopey As others have said it is a personal preference for when you start TTC again. I don't actually remember when I did to be honest, the first couple of months after all seemed to be a bit of a blur to me, then I spent a few months completely obsessing. This month however we have been dtd lots but I haven't been temping as I just needed to give my brain a break from TTC overload! Feeling so much better for it too.

Harrassed how are you doing honey? I don't blame you for having a chilled out month this month and trying not to get too taken away with TTC at the moment. Hope you and dp are doing ok though and have enjoyed your weekend.

YRMOTB You sound very happy at the moment Am loving your springiness! It's amazing how the warmer weather and lighter nights can improve our moods isn't it? I love it! Good luck this month, we will get into that VIP club on those comfy beanbags soon!

BOA All the best for the future, we will always be here if you change your mind at any point.

Stitch I know I am a few days behind but welcome to the thread. Can I ask (as I am being too lazy to google) what is antiphospholipod syndrome?

freelance I know what you mean about trying to shift those extra gained lbs since teh MC. I put on similar then went on a downward spiral and have gained about a stone in 6 months I am starting SW again today though and may even consider joining a gym (that's my worried, am I sure face!)

securegal great news on AF coming back, and in the right time frame! You are sounding very positive which is great news. I wish I had followed your advice at the beginning, I wouldn't have felt like I had wasted half a year if I had!

Big waves to everyone else!!! I hope you all had lovely weekends.

Morning ladies

Cep sorry you had another difficult night. It must be so hard - I hope your HV can help.

Melies glad all the gunk has stopped!!

Mumtum sending you a big hug and hoping for good news.

Collie good luck with the scan

Mopey I had an MC at about 5/6 weeks and I have waited to TTC again until after 1st AF. It has seemed like a long wait but as I was so early my cycle seemed to kick back in straight away and I got my AF on time yest. I have found the last few weeks have been ups and downs. I thought I felt better and was over it and then the PMT hormones kicked in and I have been a crying mess over it all again this week so for me, I think its been a good idea that we have waited.

And for you ladies who listened to the painting saga last week....well I went home on friday and ended up trying to talk to DH again and balled my eyes out. He said he "didn't realise I was so emotionalyl unstable" which obviously made me cry even more. I said "why did it have to happen" and he said "why did what have to happen" which literally made me break my heart as it was like he didn't have a clue. I cried until 2am and felt like death on Sat. Then I went to my Mum's and cried there. Hopeless!!! I know its partly PMT hormones but I feel really upset at DH saying I am "emotionally unstable" and think its really unfair to say that just because I have been very tearful after a MC. I also find it so upsetting when he says I have nothing to cry about or just doesn't seem to get it. I told him last night I was hurt by what he said and he said he didn't even remember saying it and hasn't apologised. Honestly TTC with him is the last thing on my mind at the mo. Oh and the picture is up on the wall!!

xx

Oh bump have a big squishy hug. I was a total wreck after my MC, I threw cups of tea at freshly painted walls, cried daily for about 4 months straight and felt like my world had ended. DH could not understand this at all, he was absolutely gutted about what happened but it def didn't effect him like it did me. It's us that carry that child though, it's us that have to deal with the pg hormones, then the MC hormones, it's us who have to deal with pg related symptoms then a lack of them, is our bodies that change, it's us that have to see other people's growing bumps and subconsciously try to figure out where we would be in our pg, it's us who are constantly faced with it, it's us who have to go through the bleeding/ERPC, it's us who then have to endure the monthly reminders of a period. Makes no wonder we deal with it on a totally different level to our OHs. Yes, he is being insensitive but he probably doen't consider any of these facts.

Morning all!

chloe glad you have finally got a decent hospital to look after you! I am also not going to poas a million times this month.

cep sorry you are having broken sleep not good when you need all the rest you can get at the moment.

mumtum I really hope your ok?

bumpwanted sorry your DH is being so insensitive big ((hugs))

securegal so pleased your AF is back although i was TTC straight away i have felt so much better in myself since my AF turned up also bang on 31 days (my cycle length) after negative pregnancy test.

collie hope your scan is going well

As for me i am offically on the 2WW i am not going to POAS untill my period is late at least i know now when my period is supposed to show up.
DH cried last night a lot about M/C he found it difficult to DTD i asked him what was wrong and it all came bursting out, how he thinks about her (we were both positive it was a her) everyday and how he really wants to try but is scared it will happen again. He also really feels pressure to get me pregnant again soon. Im glad he got it all out but i was not sure what to say, I cant guarantee it wont happen again but we can only keep trying...

Thanks Chloe you are so right. I think he just thinks it was so early on how can I really have felt any different...but I did. In his head he knew for a week and so he said it all happened so fast he didn't really get used to the idea. Also, meant to say so glad you are getting some proper treatment now. Am really cross at your originaly GP for you! They should have treated you better from the start.

OlisMum pleased to hear you are back at it and on the 2ww. Bless your DH for getting upset. Unlike mine he sounds totally sensitive to what you guys have gone through. Am really glad he at least told you and let it all out. It is a scary time for anyone TTC again but all you can do is try and focus on so many of the positive stories where people go on to have great pregnancies after a MC. Am hoping you get a BFP this month!

Have no idea what I am going to do. Am pretty excited i have AF now (sounds so weird to say that!) as it means in a week we could try. DH says he will but its not really into it as would prefer to wait. My Mum says go for it and he will be very excited if I get pregnant again even if its earlier than he originally wanted. In my head I say lets just do it and he will be pleased but my heart says I don't want to unless he really wants to too. Suspect the head will win out...I have a week to decide!

Hello all

So sorry not to namecheck everyone. Big waves at everyone.

I was sick at the weekend and was in bed alot. Felt really miserable yesterday on Mother's day, even though DH and DC were being really lovely. I made a big lunch for extended family and ended up getting really drunk whilst cooking. Seemed like the only way I could get through it. So, up and down again. Glad that is out of the way, it's my birthday this week and I have made it clear I don't want to celebrate as still feel too flat. Feel sad as felt I was making progress and feeling chirpier,

Sorry for the me, me, me xx

really As my previous post suggests it's totally normal to have these ups and downs but I really do sympathise with how you are feeling right now, it's not a nice place to be in Dh said I have a really bad habit of shutting him and the world out when I go into one of my black moods so please make sure that you console yourself and try and talk to eitehr your dp or a friend about how you are feeling so you don't bottle it all up as it doesn't help, believe me.