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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

never been pregnant at 29

26 replies

Amanda29 · 01/03/2011 18:52

Hello everyone, I'm just looking for a bit of advice if possible. I'm 29 my partner is 30, neither of us hve children and have decided to start trying.

Its more a case of if it happens it happens no rush yet. I'm just worried as im 29 and I've never been pregnant? I know its sounds odd but literally everyone I know has either had a baby/scare, miscarriage or termination. I've always been very careful with contraception take my pill at the exact time everyday and use condoms when not in a long term relationship so it could just be this, my other concern is one of my younger brothers is infertile while the other is ok so am unsure if I could be infertile too?

Any comments greatly appreciated.

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Guacamole · 01/03/2011 19:03

I'm not entirely sure what you're asking... But I had never been pregnant before until I was 32 and my DH and I decided to try. I became pregnant almost immediately and although I had a complicated pregnancy and birth I now have a beautiful almost 11 month old DS.
You may fall pregnant immediately, it may take a few months or even years... You may need help conceiving.
You just don't know until you try. I believe (don't quote me) that 1 in 3 pregnancies results in miscarriage (often before the person knows they are pregnant).

The only recommendation I have is to start taking folic acid now, and if you or your DH are a smoker seek help in giving up.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 01/03/2011 19:03

Hi Amanda - I never had a positive pregnancy test (or even a slight scare) until I was 31! Although, we still don't have our much wanted DC, we have proven that if we try, it will happen (2 miscarriages :() Don't panic either if you don't get pregnant straigt away once you ditch the contraception. I think most of us have it drilled in to our heads by parent/teachers that if you so much as look at a man's willy you'll get pregnant - that's not always the case, and you will usually have to time it right! Good luck x

pecka33 · 01/03/2011 19:05

hi amanda im 33 just gone, got pregnant lat year for the first time but unfortunatly lost it, b4 then was very carefull and never been pg b4, you never know till you try i say!!! Just ensure u get all your pre-conceptions tests done b4 hand, i found out im wasnt immune to rubella during my first pg, which isnt good. Good luck xx

fortyplus · 01/03/2011 19:11

Dh and I had been pretty slapdash with contraception for ages before trying to conceive ds1. Not only that but I'd had some gynae problems and been put on the pill for about 6 months. So you can imagine that when we did start having unprotected sex I was fairly startled to conceive the first month!

I was 32 at the time. ds2 was also conceived the first month we tried.

I'd never had a 'scare' of any kind before that either.

Original poster

Amanda29 · 01/03/2011 19:25

Hi,

Thanks for the replies, I guess what I was asking is just is it normal or could the fact I've never been pregnant mean there's something wrong like with my brother?

I suppose its true we won't know till we try and I've only just come off the pill last week, will be patient and keep you all posted :)

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Guacamole · 01/03/2011 20:29

No, for the time being assume you have never been pregnant because you have been on the pill. That's what the pill is for people wouldn't use it if they were falling pregnant left, right and centre.

Is infertility hereditary? I don't think so (might be wrong).

Good luck.

Original poster

Amanda29 · 01/03/2011 20:47

I'm not sure if its hereditary but all the other men in the family (uncles cousins etc) have never had a problem so its hopefully just a one off, my brother and his wife are looking into fertility treatment so hopefully they'll have some chance still.

I think after hearing so many tragedies about miscarriage from friends and stillbirth in the media I'm a bit paranoid, I've no idea how I'd cope if that happened and my heart goes out to anyone who has had to deal with it :(

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PenguinPoo4 · 02/03/2011 16:27

Hi Amanda,
I totally understand where you're coming from - we spend half our lives trying not to get pregnant, then as soon as we decide we want to we get paranoid that we can't! I have had EXACTLY the same thoughts myself. I'm 28 and on the first month of TTC and have never been pregnant either so I'm in the same position as you really.
I'm as clueless as you are, but I will tell you my 'plan of action' in case it helps - Firstly, listen to the wise ladies above who have had no problems conceiving after years and years on the pill. There's no reason to assume that you or I are infertile! Secondly, I'm taking folic acid. Thirdly, I've ordered some ovulation sticks so that I can check when I'm ovulating and take charge that way rather than just guessing.
Good luck to you and I'm sure that you will be fine. Infertility doesnt run in the family, and I think its lovely for your first pregnancy to be something planned and wanted rather than an 'oh shit' moment! Although, 'oh shit' pregnancies often turn out to be the best thing ever for those involved too :)

reup · 02/03/2011 16:31

Most of my friends got pregnant over 30 and 35; none had been pregnant before.

How can infertility be hereditary?? If you can't have children you can hardly pass it down to them!

KnittingRocks · 02/03/2011 16:38

Fertility problems can be hereditary reup - not all couples who have fertility problems will not have children, e.g. women who have premature ovarian failure may have had one child before that happens who can then inherit that condition.

However, if the IF is a male factor then no, the OP could not have inherited anything like obviously.

OP try not to worry. Most couples do conceive without any medical intervention - I think 1 in 6 couples need help, which still means 5 in 6 won't! IF makes a good news story sadly which is why you see so much coverage of it.

DS1 was an IVF baby and through him I now have lots and lots of friends with small children and, aside from those couples I specifically met through IF support groups, all were conceived naturally and v few even had m/cs.

Good luck.

ChrissyHynde · 02/03/2011 16:43

I was 34 when we strted trying for a baby and like you had never had any scary moments. 5 weeks later I was pregnant. Tried again at 40 and that took 7 weeks. It's always wondered what might have happened if I hadn't been careful with my contraception over the years - I did seem to get pregnant very easily.

memphis83 · 02/03/2011 16:45

i was the same as you, always used the pill or other means and i still thought it was weird i had never had a scare or anything where as all of the girls i know had fell pregnant, had to take the morning after pill or something like that, started thinking i may have a probem as its weird all the girls around me seem to have scares and i didnt, i became a mum 7 months ago at 27, think i was just a lot more careful than the others
good luck!!!!

thomasbodley · 02/03/2011 16:50

Chrissy Any tips? Am TTC at the moment. Almost 37 and never been pregnant or had scares either. Everything fine, periods regular, six months in, no luck so far.

ChrissyHynde · 02/03/2011 16:55

hi thomasbodley , no sorry youngest now 6.5 so memory a bit faint but I dont think we did it all the time it just happened

Zimm · 02/03/2011 21:33

Hello Amanda,

I was got pregnant at 29, having never been pregnant as I'd been on the pill for 11 years. Took 2 cycles of trying. I'm sure you'll be fine! Now have beautiful DD.

hellymelly · 02/03/2011 21:37

If you have been sensible with contraception,then it would have been pretty unlucky for you to get pregnant.There is no reason at all to worry.Male infertility is very different issue to female anyway.Try to relax about it - chances are you will get pregnant sooner than you think!

Original poster

Amanda29 · 04/03/2011 22:09

@Penguinpool - that's so true about spending half your life avoiding getting pregnant the the rest worrying if you can haha! I still dread having to tell my parents when the time comes!

Thanks for all the replies everyone can't believe how nice and helpful you all are :) no-one knows we're trying either as I don't want any added pressure or constant questions. Will just chill out and let nature take its course, I have always been mega sensible with contraception compared to some ppl I know with the attitude 'it won't happen to me' or are just careless with contraception (which has often more worrying consequences!) x

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Original poster

Amanda29 · 27/04/2011 18:37

Still trying :) never knew how impatient I was haha! I read that most couples will conceive within a year of trying so won't worry for a while yet x

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wrighty2010 · 27/04/2011 21:02

Hi,
just wanted to say don't worry before you have anything to worry about! stress and worry will only make things worse. Just because your brother has problems it does not automatically follow that you will. If you are really concerned why not go to the doctors and tell them about your worries. if you have been on contreception long term it can sometimes take a while to conceive. I dont want to sound patronising and I understand you are concerned but really a lot of women are having their first babies a lot later on in life. Take care and try and stay positive Best wishes Dawn xx

hairylights · 27/04/2011 21:48

I never got pregnant til I was 41 (just before my 42nd). I have been pregnant 3x since - not good outcomes, sadly. I'm now 43.

In all my years I have never got accidentally pregnant... And I have not always been as careful as I could have been.

Original poster

Amanda29 · 05/09/2011 22:00

@hairylights - Oh god that's awful :( hope you have some better look soon!

Well Still not there :/ although AF is due today or or next monday as my cycle varies from 28 to 35 days, only thing i've noticed is the last week i've had what feel like very light period cramps but they seem to be more to either the left or right as oppose to the middle and i've felt very queasy whenever i eat milk eggs cheese and yoghurts? I've not been sick just have that sickly feeling in my tummy, comes and goes throughout the day, lets hope its a good sign :)

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Original poster

Amanda29 · 17/10/2011 19:39

Well still waiting :/ I'm currently 3 days late basing it on a 35 day cycle... Had a fair bit of ewcm middle of last week and towards the end, also getting what feels like af pains but no sign yet hmm! not sure if I should start getting my hopes up x

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PickleSarnie · 18/10/2011 14:22

I shagged about for Scotland in my youth and never once had even a teensy weensy bit of a pregnancy scare.

Then met DH when I was 34 and had a broken condom and a non-working morning after pill and got up the duff on our second date. Had MC but then had two more accidents (or 2 more times of being drunk and forgetting the time of the month) and got pregnant both times. 1 DS and another MC.

Jojo0070 · 18/10/2011 14:43

Hi Amanda - Good luck!!!
Pickle ur so funny pmsl x

KatAndKit · 18/10/2011 16:12

I had never been pregnant until I was 32. This is because I used contraception effectively (well most of the time anyway)
I don't think not having an accidental pregnancy means there is anything up with your fertility. Just that you have been more effective with contraception than some people, and perhaps more lucky.

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