I've developed a stupid fear of getting in touch with friends because at the moment it seems like every time I contact anyone I've not spoken to for a while they tell me they're pregnant.
I finally got in touch with a friend who had a miscarriage in January, and yes, she is pregnant again. That's the second time she has got pregnant in the first month of trying, and of course I'm happy for her and I felt awful when she had the miscarriage but I'm now literally the only woman I know with no babies or babies on the way, and I feel very lonely especially because I live in Spain and I'm having trouble getting the gynaecologist to explain anything to me or listen to my questions - they keep telling me everything is normal but I've been trying to get pregnant for two years and nothing.
I feel like I've got no one to talk to about it - any time I try people just say "it'll happen sooner or later", "just relax" and all those annoying things, or they change the subject because they don't know what to say and then I feel bad for even mentioning it, like it's a taboo thing you shouldn't talk about.
My friend who had the miscarriage is a doctor and every time I say something like "do you think it might be something to do with the fact that I get my period seven days after I ovulate?" she basically gives me a withering look and says I shouldn't believe everything I read on the internet, as if because I'm not a doctor I'm not capable of distinguishing between reliable and unreliable information. My gynaecologist here reacts in a similar way, but I don't see how else I can find anything out if not on the internet when there's no one to talk to about it.
I think that if they would just give me some kind of test to see why I get my period seven days after ovulating, or if they would explain why that's "normal" when I keep reading that it's not, that I might be able to relax and just get on with trying, but I feel like they're wasting time refusing to look into something that might be easy to sort out and that in the meantime I'm getting older and no one is listening to me. My boyfriend is away for the weekend and I just heard about my friend's pregnancy and how she had a scan and saw the little heartbeat and I can't stop crying.
I also got a message from my mum, it's her wedding anniversary and she wrote to say "I'm so glad I got married and had two wonderful children", which didn't help.
I have to pull myself together and go to work but I'm a stupid tearful wreck. Any tips?