Page 14 | Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

lolfactor · 21/02/2011 21:10

diege et al no cramping/spotting just very flat tummy overnight plus sixth sense. The boobs and queasy yum tell me I'm still pregnant. Wonder how long I'll be 'pregnant' before my body realises I'm not. I suspect a while yet.

Lots of yummy crispy duck and wine comfort food. And comedy. We need to laugh. Will try again but without the pressure. I'm hoping this will bring us closer.

Thanks for all your support. Knew I'd need you! X

hopefulgum · 21/02/2011 23:11

oh Lol, I'm so sorry to hear this.Have you had previous chemicals/miscarriages?I know how sad you are feeling, but don't necessarily give up - it can and does happen to us "oldies".

There must be a few of us at the same stage? Tina and Lou and I - anyone else? I'm 8 dpo today. Fertility friend says if I'm pregnant then Due date is 7th Nov.My birthday is 10th, so it would be the perfect present!

My friend had her baby Sunday night.Don't know any of the details - a boy and a quick birth.Haven't spoken to her - just had a text.I feel so happy for her but a bit robbed myself.Keep thinking "if only I was still pregnant I'd be nearly 18 weeks and looking forward to my babe". I know, I know, I need to stop thinking about what might have been and move on. I am trying!

I have no idea which reality tv show I'd be in. I've hardly watched any of them. I did see one about an English family who bought a house in the country - some designer guy.I think it was called "To the Manor " something or other. Sorry, have bad memory for this stuff. Anyway - wouldn't mind being in that as they had a very nice house and tonnes of money to spend on it. However, I'd hate to be watched all hours by a camera crew. That would be so stressful.

I hope one of us (or all of us!) have good news soon.

Italiangreyhound · 22/02/2011 01:35

Tina hello, I know you are quite new and I may not have spoken to you before. I tend to post for a few days and then disappear! I'm so sorry you are feeling unhappy about the situation with your hubby. I don't know all the details but I do think you should be confident in yourself, I mean if you can - because confidence tends to make things better. If you are always uncertain then it is not helpful. So please give yourself a hug and a pat on the back and all those other things you are meant to give yourself in difficult situations. He is still with you and you are working at it. My hubby had very few girlfriends when I met him but he has become a very good husband, but it takes time. I have no idea how long you have been married but I just wish you all the best. Life is not about how many boyfriends or partners you have had. If your hubby strayed in the past I?m glad you are working it out. I agree with Beatie that counselling is helpful. I have had lots of counselling for infertility and it helped me. Tina I really wish you all the best. Also, (IGNORE me if you want to) but as a Christian I would say that a spell from a coven is not a good idea at all. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs so I am not trying to tell you what to think but by your own words it sounds like it is not really what you believe but you think it will not do any harm. I think these things are not helpful so although (of course) you can ignore me I would not wear it or use it at all. I really wish you all the best.

BB well done for keeping up with the SMEP, I think I have fallen at the first hurdle in that I do not own any OPK sticks (or whatever they are called!) and also got too tired for sex one day. But it has been about every two days from day 6 so does that kind of count!?

Diege I can't believe you were on the telly. How amazing. I'm limited to having been in the audience of a game show in Singapore!

Muchlove how are you doing sweetie?

Lou all the best, hope you are feeling brighter and better.

Hippy, Gum, Jolls and all, big hugs.

panashe · 22/02/2011 08:58

Hello lol how are you feeling this morning ? I found waking up each day hard, and the sinking feeling in your stomach that Yes this has happened and not just a dream.

Can't remember if you said you had told your teenagers, I did and still wonder if it was the right thing to do. I do hope that you carry on ttc, I know what you mean without the pressure. I am determined not to get worked up about it but its easy for me to say at moment, I am sure after af I will be counting the days like everyone else.

Morning to everyone else :)

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Curlylox · 22/02/2011 13:57

Sorry to hear your sad news lol, it's a gut wrencher.....remember we're here ready to support you whenever you want.
Think I got the cold shoulder from italian

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TinaO99 · 22/02/2011 15:06

hi italian thak you for your kind words and I absolutely respect your opinion :-) Lol so sorry about your news, hope things work out soon and gum I am also 8 dpo but not hopeful to be honest - had to have a big dose of antibiotics today for an infection so am actually hoping I'm not preggers lol

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Curlylox · 22/02/2011 15:44

Gum Tina I'm also 8dpo according to Fertility Friend. I'm with you tina don't think it will be my month somehow, keep looking out for tell tale signs but nothing stands out to be honest. Now if I was having cramping pain from now I might get a little excited as that was what I got in addition to the other symptoms the last time. I know lou is either the same dpo or very near I think and possibly hippy too.

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Italiangreyhound · 22/02/2011 16:16

No Curly my shoulder's are very warm but I must have missed your post! Sorry. How are things going, you don't seem to have posted in last few days or am I being blind!

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Curlylox · 22/02/2011 16:26

You know I'm joshing with you don't you . Yes you're right, think I last posted at the weekend. How are you? I'm ok, went to a funeral on Friday and as well as it being a sad affair, it kind of gets you thinking about life in general, puts things in prospective (hope I'm making sense, as do have a tendency to ramble).

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lolfactor · 22/02/2011 16:47

Hi Panache - woke up this morning feeling pretty much like you described. I'd told my ds (14) and wished I hadn't - she was at home when she heard the anguished shriek from the bathroom when I got the bfn.

This morning I started to bleed at about 9 am - exactly four weeks to the hour from ov pains. Cried; felt better; cried a bit more; then thought, 'Right, thank god it's all got going and I can start to get better.' I'm going to try to get fit. I want to feel well again.

I have mixed feelings about trying again. It would be good to try immediately as I'll still be awash with progesterone, apparently. Sometimes I think, 'of course I can do it.' Especially when I saw Jo Brand on Chatty Man last night saying she had kids at 45. Then I look around the shopping centre at the young mums and think, 'who are you trying to kid, grandma? You've had your day.'

If it wasn't for dp, I wouldn't be thinking of it. I'd love the chance to have another baby but it would stay as a thought - not a challenge. I feel I'm making myself look ridiculous. My mum, ever tactful, said, 'are you sure you were pregnant? It could have been the (whisper) menopause. Silly cow. She really knows how to wind me up.

Soz about needing the antibiotics, tina. Hope they don't wipe you out. Italian I gave all the info you asked for to Diege by mistake - sorry both. Yes, I have 3 kids (teens and a 23 year-old) but Gum this is my first chem preg/mc. The others were all conceived in my 20s, at first try for each one. Those were the days...

curly, Jolls, thanks for your thoughts. You've all been great. Will stick here, if that's ok with you. L x

louisesh · 22/02/2011 17:46

Hi LOL ((())) hope you re okish???? I read about Jo Brand recently also another woman flying the flag for us older women [though did i ever tell you i m virtually the baby on here!!!!]

Hi Curly yes we re all virtually at the same point now!!!! Today is 9dpo for me.I have had a headache and felt naseaus for the last 2 days but i think its more to do with sorting out my return to work and opening up that whole can of worms than anything else.Hope you re ok? X

Tina any more testing? None for me....aren t i good?????

Hi Panashe know what you mean i m so sick of waking up with the dread feeling and heavy feeling about Georgie.You ok?

Hi Italian you ok? X

Where's Much ? she is MIA....

Oh Hopeful big FX for you...what a lovely birthday present indeed that would be????Another 8 dpo er!!!!!

Hi to everyone else Jolls,Hippy,BB and Diege sorry i ve missed anyone oh Nicole

Do any of you read "Heat"? I m having a letter published in it next week yeh!!!!! See what you can do when i ve no work!!!! Basically, I wrote about "posh" complaining she is worried about being fat due to pregnancy and I wrote she should be grateful to be in that position etc......Cue: 2 lovely e mails from "Heat" saying they will publish my letter.So girls you are now in the midst of a "celebrity"!!!!!!It's funny as they used to take the piss out of me at work as i love celebrity gossip and all things superficial and trival and every Monday i got giddy as was nearly "Heat" day so i ve told them all to buy it as i ll be featured.[mind you; not falling out of "china whites" or anywhere like that!!!!]

Italiangreyhound · 22/02/2011 18:01

Curly sorry about the funeral. Hope it was OK. The last one I went to was for a lady from my church who I barely knew so it was not too sad, it was actually a service of celebration so not an actual funeral, not so bad. I always feel with older people that it is actually a testament to a long life that they die aged 70, 80 plus or whatever so although sad it is expected thing and a chance for relatives to remember their loved one. Your gran crying sounds appropriate to me, rather than being very sad, if you see what I mean. My Mum has lost touch with a couple of her siblings (pretty much) and that seems very sad to me.

Anyway, sending you hugs.

panashe · 22/02/2011 18:06

Hello lou , don't read Heat but will make point of upping their circulation figures and buying a copy next week

I am ok and convincing myself that cramping and sore boobs sign of imminent af and nothing else !!!!

panashe · 22/02/2011 18:14

lol don't be too hard on yourself. I know what you mean about young mums and yes having younger partner can make it worse. I have had those conversations with my dp after mc 'maybe you should go find woman your age' kind of emotional rants.

My saving grace is both my parents have 'youth' genes I think and much to the embarassment of my 19 year old ds we have been mistaken for a couple

BeattieBow · 22/02/2011 20:29

hi all.

lol so sorry about your mc. I had a couple last year - too depressing for words. Anyway, people our age do get pg successfully.

I didn't manage day 3 of the 3 in a row smep - just too tired. so will do the one for luck one tonight maybe, but feel ok that I did 2 in a row. Now just need to obsess about symptoms!

lolfactor · 22/02/2011 20:38

Can't match you there, Panache. I might have 'youth' genes, but I also have 44 year-old eggs. As the Dr said, 'you may look 30-something on the outside; inside, you're pretty much spot 44.' Sigh.

Mid-life crisis eggs. I'm trying to serve them sunny-side up

louisesh · 22/02/2011 21:07

Thanks Panashe X

panashe · 22/02/2011 21:22

Wow beattie what your doctor said has hit home :(

panashe · 22/02/2011 21:23

sorry !!! Should have said lol xxx

AlbaDeTamble · 22/02/2011 21:56

Gi1da · 22/02/2011 22:44

Wishing you a lovely day tomorrow Jolls

Apols for intrusion! Waves at Louise

hopefulgum · 22/02/2011 22:59

Jolls, 21 again! Woo - Hoo! Happy Birthday. I hope it is happy.Enjoy your special day and treat yourself.

I don't know if it helps, but despite our 40 something age eggs, we can get pregnant. It might take longer and it might give us heartache along the way, but it is possible! I just read a novel about an Amish community. One of the characters (that isn't Amish) finds out she's pregnant at 40 and is moaning about being too old, when an Amish woman tells her that women of that age in their community are only half through having their kids.I know it's only a novel, but I'll take it as hopeful! I also read about a woman in Asia somewhere who had two young teenage daughters (12 and 14 I think) and was 56 or 58. Anyway, I remember thinking there are women everywhere in their 40's having healthy babies.

My friend is 41 and just gave birth to her little boy. The only miscarriage she had was in her mid-30's.
So hang in there Lol and Penashe, and stick with us...we're here for the long haul.

So...anyway I did cave in and tested today, 9 dpo, and of course it is negative. It would be a lovely surprise to get a pos this month, but I just don't have many symptoms.

Lou, when will you test? Tina, curly, when will you test,or are you waiting? I can never wait til AF is due, I simply cannot do it! I wish I was so relaxed about it I didn't notice til AF was late, but that's just not the way it is with us control freaks!

I'm getting acupuncture done today - it's been ages. Last time I saw her I was still pregnant. I'm hoping she'll help me feel better overall.

So, let's raise a glass and toast Jolls on her birthday, and another to our dear old eggs - may they produce beautiful,healthy babies!

TinaO99 · 23/02/2011 08:16

louise gum I tested again yesterday still nothing, am on day 11 dpo now and starting to get tender boobies so af due very soon methinks! Good thing the tests were cheap from amazon! Here's to the next cycle sigh....

my hubby now has a testing kit from the dr's so will be arranging his tests soon, hopefully all will be well

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Curlylox · 23/02/2011 08:43

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear J-olls, Happy Birthday to you! All sang in my croaky morning voice

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Curlylox · 23/02/2011 09:08

Hear hear gum

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