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Original poster

Anyone Fed Up Thinking About it....

59 replies

twiglett · 01/09/2003 22:09

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OP posts:
Jane101 · 03/09/2003 15:52

I certainly am fed up of the whole thing now. We're hoping for a 2nd child and have been ttc for 18 months - and having fertility treatment for nearly a year. We had sucessful iui treatment in 2000, after 4 years of ttc, so I can really sympathise with you. But... what makes you think women who are lucky enought to have children, or be pregnant are smug? Sorry if I'm having a bit of a sense of humour by-pass, here, but my ds is gorgeous and wonderful, but I've never been as stressed and anxious as in the first 18 months after his birth. Lucky, blessed even - yes, but smug? I think it's a bit hurtful to assume that about people. Sorry - am I being really mean, by getting at you when you're unhappy? I really hope you are sucessful soon.

Jemma7 · 03/09/2003 16:10

I know how you all feel although most of you have been here alot longer than me!

Makes it worse that i have just found out my SIL's Best mate is pregnant but she doesn't want it and is having an abortion - Now, I know it's each to their own and everyone has the right to make their own choices but this will be her 4th termination.
She already has a little boy and is in a long term relationship - I suppose it just baffles me because there are so many of people including myself who are trying so hard!

quackers · 03/09/2003 16:24

Oh Jems I don't understand that atall. How on earth do you end up needing a 4th termination?? I certainly would never tell anyone it;s my 4th that's for sure.
Jane, we're just relieving some built up tension that I'm sure you understand and it is not aimed at anyone with children as some of here do have children already. It's those people who are openely smug about being pg and disregard anyone elses situation and circumstances and think they're the best thing since sliced bread. We;re just letting off steam and trying to find some humour in all our upsets. Hope u get lucky soon though. Best of luck.

Original poster
twiglett · 03/09/2003 16:48

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tinyfeet · 03/09/2003 17:14

I'm sure I am not welcome on this thread, as I am 24 weeks pregnant now - a mistake, and trying to deal with it, and am just now starting to look forward to new baby girl. My DD is 17 months. I think it's good for you all to have a rant, and this is probably the best place to do it, but the only thing I wanted to say is that it seems like you all are really still pretty young! I have so many friends who are desparately trying to get pregnant in their late thirties. I'm also in my late thirties. I do think it's great that you all are trying now (it seem most of you are in your early thirties), but you do still have time, IMO. My 2 cents. Rant away.

Jane101 · 03/09/2003 17:40

Yes, sorry - I'm being a bit bitter and twisted aren't I? And I'm 37, not early 30's - bah humbug to everyone. Lets hope we're all in the position of being really smug, really soon.

Original poster
twiglett · 03/09/2003 17:48

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quackers · 03/09/2003 18:01

Twigs
Jane, best of luck, don't be joining that smugamums club!! !!

tinyfeet · 03/09/2003 18:07

Well, for what it's worth, I like reading this thread because it makes me feel better about my situation. Makes me feel that I should be grateful, and just hope for a healthy baby. I'm 37 too - it just seemed that a bunch of you were saying that you were 31 years old. Ok - I'll just stick my foot in my mouth now and go back to the Starving David thread.

quackers · 03/09/2003 18:15

Tiny, good luck with your pg!!! I'm 29, but my ddis 3 and I really would love a sibling for her, she adores babies!!

tinyfeet · 03/09/2003 18:22

Thanks, quackers. Good luck with all of you. I think it's better if we just keep our mouths shut - just know that we are all hoping and praying that everything works out for all of you ttc.

Egypt · 03/09/2003 18:29

hi tinyfeet, dont feel you have to leave. everyone is entitled to feel what they feel.

Original poster
twiglett · 03/09/2003 19:13

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tinyfeet · 03/09/2003 19:51

No offense taken. Just nothing to say since I already have my foot in my mouth.

AliBaba · 04/09/2003 13:13

Tinyfeet, I was the one moaning about being 31 (on Tuesday!), and you're absolutely right that I should get a grip and be grateful that I've got time (and in my saner moments I really am.) Am now going to do ten minutes of blessing-counting. One. my dog is an angel; two, I'm allowed to bring him to work; three, he's asleep on my knee at the moment, like a snoring hot water bottle; four, the enormous incipient spot on my chin last night has vanished; five, the sun is shining so summer isn't quite over ... This could go on all night.

mckenzie · 04/09/2003 13:27

thank you everyone who has posted on this thread. I just logged on feeling sorry for myself but you guys have all made me laugh and I feel better already.
Doesn't help any of you I know but thank you.

Jane101 · 04/09/2003 16:59

AliBaba, It's good to count your blessings - but don't ever think you're not entitled to be sad about your fertility problems. I'm pretty fed up that we don't seem to making any progress towards getting a 2nd child, but it's nothing like as bad as the first time - just not knowing whether we would ever have children at all. I felt it was partly the uncertainty that was the worst thing. You can't just draw a line under it, and get on with your life because month after month you keep on hoping and being disappointed, and trying not to get your hopes up, but you can't help it. It's just horrible, isn't it?

Original poster
twiglett · 04/09/2003 17:57

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Slink · 04/09/2003 18:40

My dd is 2.4months and everyone is saying "when you have the next one, are you trying oh she needs someone to play with" Well i say to them my dear dear sis in law if your brother would have SEX with me more often instead of every SIX (OH YES SOME TIMES LONGER) WEEKS then i would be pregnant, a babe here and another one on the way, i have been trying for 1 YEAR

My dh is lovely but not interested in sex they say women go of it nope my man does, We have a very healthy relationship otherwise Nope not he is not having an affair,he dotes on me but i love the hugs but need SEX

Feel better now arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhx

zippy539 · 04/09/2003 20:17

Urggg! We tried for three years before DS came along and reading this thread has made me remember the RAGE (and pain) I used to feel when smugmums had the audacity to ask when we were going to have a baby. Worse still, my own mother (who, in her defence, wasn't aware we were having problems) was forever on the flippin phone saying "so and so has had a baby... so and so has had a baby ..." I swear there was not a child born in Britain between 1997 and 2001 whose arrival was not trumpeted down my telephone. It got to the point that when she called my heart would sink.

zippy539 · 04/09/2003 20:20

Slink - sorry, I meant to say that I suspect we might be married to the same man. Maybe it's not so much that he's not interested in sex - but he's a bigamist and very, very tired...

quackers · 04/09/2003 20:20

Slink I have the same problem!! My DH is just too tired, if I say I'm ov'g though he'll muster up some strenght form somewhere. Otherwise we;re really happt too!!!!! I would like more sex though, I think he dwould if he wasn't tired!!!
Zippy, they just don;t have a clue!!!

Moomin · 04/09/2003 21:47

Thank god for this thread. I was beginning to feel I was going mad. i ADORE dh and we usually have an excellent sex life. But since we've been trying to have sex every other day this last month he's been acting like he's doing me a real favour! Last night he said he was too tired but I knew I was ovulating so I said we needed to do it. He actually said "well you can have a go but I can't promise anything" and let me do all the work!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I didn't give up without a struggle and we got there in the end! )
But HONESTLY, you'd think they'd be bloody grateful they've got sex on tap, wouldn't you?I feel like the Wicked Squire and he's some virgin wench that I'm trying to have my wicked way with!

quackers · 05/09/2003 09:07

Yep, if you put pressure on it just doesn't happen!!! They are strange creatures. I have never had to 'ask' until we ttc last time. He obliged a couple of times very willingly and always says he could do it every day but when it comes to it, he just wants to sleep!!!
This will make u laugh - he wanted to 'get in the mood' but was tired and knew I really wanted it cos I was ov'g, so he asked me to 'pluck his eyebrows'!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh I've never seen things 'happen' so quick!!! Was great bd'g as well. The next time though I had to do all the work, we got there but it was hard work!!

Moomin · 05/09/2003 09:29

Good lord quackers! Is 'pluck his eyebrows' a euphemism? Or does it actually turn him on?!! Think what'd happen if you offered him a leg wax!

We reached 'watershed' yesterday. I told him that his less-than-enthusiastic attitude was getting me down. I think I got through. He even suggested an early night (9.30!) and sacrificed watching the Geoff Boycott documentary in order to do the deed at a relaxing and leisurely pace!! There's true dedication to duty for you...