Anyone Fed Up Thinking About it....

[twiglett]

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hey I know exactly how you feel. i have many days like this.
I dread to think how much I have spent on folic acid. I know the 1 moth I stop taking it will be the month I get pregnant.
People often don't seem to think B4 they speak.
I'm always being asked if i am going to have another (my DS is 2). I feel like yelling YES we have been trying for over a year. Just cos I ain't pregnant again doesn't mean I'm not trying.

so rant away I don't mind

Twiglett and Bogwoppit ....
Oh I know how you feel ...! Wish I could say something to make you feel better but I don't want to piss you off any further.
One of the things that used to wind me up after my m/c and when we were ttc again ... "Oh, Have you just got the one ds then?" (when they have 16 children hanging around their ankles) ... and you want to shout "Yes BUT NOT FOR THE WANT OF TRYING!!!!!"
I know this won't help but try to shut your ears to it all if you can and then come and rant away on mumsnet ....
Thinking of you xxxxxxxx

Twiglett, have to say that I laughed out loud at your message, it was the 'Any News Yet?' line, that cracked me up - in a manic, hysterical, way of course, because that's what I get asked all the time!!! If I didn't laugh I would scream.

Feel free to grumble and rant to your heart's content on here. J XXX

What peeves me off is now that I am a certain age (31 just, but been trying since 29) people who hardly know me asking 'Dont you want a family then' or 'are you going to be a career girl'. I've lost count how many times I have said maybe one day.

It doesn't help that I feel enough guilt at feeling I have possibly left it too late. I have always known I wanted children, but wanted to do the right thing in readiness ie Degree, Career, Afford a mortgage, Find the right bloke !!!

Now I think why did I bother maybe I should have just fell pregnant at 18 (when I probably would have fell first month).

Sorry to be such a misery but hormonal got AF yesterday

oh, how about 'everyone I know got pregnant on their first IVF, you'll be OK.' Yeah, right - 4th time lucky. People just don't think.

Yeh they can all piss off!!! Well said Twiggy!!! I keep getting asked are you having anymore? I bet she wants a sis/bro etc.... Well fed up too Twigs, will come back later for more ranting!!!! This thread is the official let off steam thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no-one is saying it to me but I am saying it to myself :
...If we'd been lucky first mth trying i'd be due next mth
...dd needs a playmate NOW - the longer this goes on the bigger the gap (we wanted 2yrs)
...whats wrong with us??

and as for trying not to think about it - IMPOSSIBLE

Unbeknown to us at the time, a friend in our group had been trying for a baby for years, then started on IVF. I cringe at the amount of times the rest of us said 'are you going to have kids then or what' and she just sort of smiled and laughed and said 'yeah maybe'.

She told us the whole story when she was pregnant with her first dd and in a way I can understand because when she went through her next IVF, we were all on eggshells around her, which she understood but hated.

She had wanted to keep things private between her and her dh, which I respect, but I never ask anyone anymore just in case.

On a lighter note, one of my other friends was asked 'how often are you having sex though?' by a practical stranger!!!!!

I'm so happy to have found this thread - exactly what I needed to read, especially today.

Have just found out that our first ivf attempt hasn't worked (we've been ttc for 3 years) and am in deep gloom about it. Feel like I'm letting everyone down - dh, his family, my family... Also feel like my whole life is on hold until I have a baby and feel guilty every time I have a cup of coffee or glass of wine - anyone else feel like this? AND am turning into poisonous witch-of-doom about friends and family who have children. AND I've got so fed up with people speculating about us that I've told a lot of them that we're doing ivf, so now feel I have to issue a report because it hasn't worked.

Sorry for self-indulgent pity splurge, but I feel much better for it. Hurray for letting off steam!

Oh Alibaba, sorry to hear it hasn't worked for you this time, what a pain in the arse. The frustration is so much at the forefront all the time isn't it. It's like anything could happen - so long as I have that baby!!! I'm bitter and twisted too, hate pg women that I see in the street. Most ahven't a clue how lucky they are. I'd cut off my arm to have this happen. I know I'm very fortunate to have my dd but she would so love a baby bro or sis and every time I look at her I know what I have lost. Sorry, this is what this thread is for!!! All the evry best, whe will you get the opportunity again????

Quackers, you are fantastic - I feel terrible for moaning to you when you've been through such horrible things recently (sorry, have been reading all the threads for ages so I feel as if I know you all like some weird stalker...)

But yes, it is a monumental pain in the arse and so frustrating, mainly because of all the smug cows around me who seem to be finding it so easy. And it's my birthday next week and I'm going to be 31 which feels old and wizened.

But looking on the bright side la la la I am very lucky in a million ways etc etc, and I might not have any children but I do have a very nice dog who doesn't mind being treated as a surrogate child. Perhaps I'll get a pushchair for him and turn into weird muttering bag lady type. Anyone care to join me?

alibaba that pushchair comment made me laugh
reminded me of the mad mum in Cutting It, though I'm sure you wouldn't be like that.

Never seen Cutting It, but yes, I'm sure I would! Am also thinking of firebombing the poncy maternity shop I walk past on my way to work. In fact, how about whole guerrilla warfare campaign against smugamummies? (Oops, sorry - probably not the sort of thing Mumsnet should promote.)

You lot have made me laugh! I have a friend at work who is 5 months preg. A few weeks ago i was holding a babygrow in my arms that someone had bought her, and 'practising'. Another woman at work blurted out "WHAT YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT AS WELL ARE YOU? I couldn't stand two of you, one's enough thank YOU." She obv doesnt know what i'm going through, but my god, how insensitive is that?!! bitch. felt like smacking her in the mouth.

What a total cow, may God bestow upon her some cruel fate of which we can all laugh at!!!! Egypt, she'll be laughing on the other side of her face soon!!!
Alibaba. you;re hilarious, you really have made me laugh!!! This is such a tonic!! Just what we all need. Your poor dog, I bet it thinks it;s a baby!!!! I'll be on the look out for you!
That is the official word now for them - smugamumms!!! Classic Alibaba!! Tell u what, they'll never be as good a mummy as you, all good things come to he who waits - so how come you;ve been waiting for 3 years!!!!!! there's some B somewhere dishing out the wrong doses of fertility!!
You just see them don't you, the type we're on a bout, revellling in every minute of it, while we bite our tongues and say 'when are u due'. Life's a bugger. I'm 30 in a few months, so not much between us. I know loads though who are on their first and are ultra chic having a babby at 36/7. Good luck, send us another funny post!!!!!

Quackers, you make me laugh!!

Alibaba - you made me laugh loudly and longly!! I had 6 goes of IVF to get dd (now 15 months) and even though people KNOW THAT, I still get "bet you'll conceive naturally now" - not with no fallopian tubes and dodgy ovaries, and a husband firing blanks post chemotherapy I won't!! And, because I used to HATE looking at Smugammums with their perfect babies, I am tempted to wear a big badge saying "yes she's lovely, but it was really really hard to get her, so I still don't like you smug-face!" Hee hee

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Whats LMAO???? Hey Twiggy, turn down the smiles it's supposed to be grumpy!!!!!!!!!

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I see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thought I knew most abbreviations now, there's a new one on me!!! This is such a great thread, anyone want to add any cherished thoughts on Smugamums??????

Thought something was strange about DS' playgroup .. it's full of Smugamums!!! (Excellent term girls! You've made my day!) Come Friday, they are all going to be wondering why I'm sitting in my usual corner watching them all and sniggering into my cup of coffee. Though if they ask me once more when I'm having my next, I'll ......aaagh! Took me 8 years to get DS, now I'm 37, haven't had a period for 3 months (not that that seems to make any difference - hadn't had one for 7 months before DS was conceived) and DH is under so much pressure at work that ... well, you get the picture! Sorry Twiglet I do sympathise utterly and completely but I had to have a good laugh at your thread. Really cheered me up after feeling a bit depressed today and especially after reading that foodie thread. God I'm a bad mother!

Thanks Quacks - I will enjoy my hols. When I booked them months back I was sure i'd be a smugamum on the beach with her belly-bump and bikini, but I guess instead i'll have to drink plent of alcohol every night and enjoy myself - oh dear.

here's another one - my 90 year old grandma telling my husband she'd have to "show him how it's done" because we hadn't any kids yet. GRRRR!

Oh dear, classic biddy moment!!
BB, yes all that alcohol eh, what would u do all day on hol if you weren't pg???????