Where to go from here?

[JodiesMummy]

Hi all, I could really do with some advice. I have just come on my period today, after a 43 day cycle. My last period was November 23.

I dont know where to plan ttc for the coming month as Ive just had such a long cycle. Previously I have averaged around 32 days but did miss two periods in summer last year. I had coil out in Nov 2009. No positives since.

Another factor going against me is that DP doesnt come near me mid-month, and I have no desire either. Obviously it doesnt help that I dont know when Im fertile. On the Ov calendar on MN if I had a normal cycle I would be fertile 14th - 18th Jan but going on last month's 43 day cycle I will be fertile 29th Jan - 2nd Feb!! So to cover all bases we will have to have sex ten times (every 2 days between 13th Jan and 2nd Feb! Cant see that happening.

I tried to tell DP all this today but I get the feeling he is not listening :(

Any advice from those with irregular cycles?

Why doesn't your DP come near you? :(

He might be getting a bit stressed about ttc and feeling under pressure to perform, hence "not listening". Can you have sex at different times so it's not all about ttc? Just have fun?

Re ttc, have you tried charting your body temp and ovulation sticks? Also worth having a chat with your GP?

Iggly, he just seems to only want sex at the wrong times!

Well, we have booked our summer holiday now so I will surely fall pregnant! :)

I would second temp charting and ovulation sticks. At least you would know when you are ovulating. Then you can make sure you SWI at the right time and it wouldn't matter so much if you don't feel like it the rest of the time .

Temping is a good idea. If there are no medical problems, your luteal phase, between ovulation occurring and your period starting, should always be roughly the same, so although it won't help you to predict when ovulation is going to happen, you would be able to find out a bit more about your cycle and collect some data.

Are you checking your cervical fluid and your cervical position to work out when you're most fertile? If your cervical fluid is a bit scant (mine was), so that it's less easy to spot when you've got the gloopy egg white consistency discharge that you can stretch between your fingers, add some grapefruit juice to your diet, to see if you can make it more pronounced.

Is your DH completely on board with ttc?

SWI?

I have some cheapy Ovulation Kits from Home and Bargain. Im not 100% sure how they work. I began my period 4th January and finished yesterday. So, according to a plan smeone posted on here, I should start Trying on day 8 (Jan 11th - tomorrow) and keep going whether Ov Kit is positive or not) until day 35 - 7th Feb!!

AC I have not been checking cervical fluid no. Not very good am I!

DP is on board but worried about various financial things etc (I earn more and stuff like that). But he told me this year we could try properly and I think he will be pleased when we get pregnant. I think its natural to worry about money, I do as well.

SWI is shagging with intent!

Ok TMI time: start checking your cervical mucus and your cervical position!

Log on to Fertility Friend or the Taking Charge of Your Fertility website for detailed descriptions of how to do this and how to recognise your most fertile time.

Basically you're going to see different types of vaginal discharge at different points in your cycle. Some is quite dry and crumbly, some is sticky, some creamy and some is like gloopy egg white. When it's like egg white it has a very similar consistency to semen, so sperm can swim in it.

You can also check the position of your cervix by inserting a finger inside your vagina. Early in your cycle just after your period ends and towards the end you should be able to find your cervix without too much difficulty. In the middle at your fertile time, you'll probably have to put your whole finger in.

Bet you wish you'd never asked!