Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 10)

[youremindmeofthebaubles]

Had a miscarriage and ready to try again? This is the place for you, support in the form of virtual wine, chocolate and a great big shoulder to cry on (tears not essential). The new year beckons us, lots of BFP's for everyone

UCL= Usual cycle Length
CD= cycle day

If you've stopped bleeding ochaye and have a neg test, then I don't think there's any need to go to get checked out. Fever chills, heavy blood loss etc all signs to be wary of.

owl good luck for tomorrow x

owlie adding my good luck wishes for tomorrow xx

Just a quickie for kat - I think it is absolutely normal to have patches of crying etc even after a while, and especially around key reminder dates, eg due date, mat leave. Coincidentally I had a big dip emotionally after about 5 months too, I think it was partly the due date and partly the realisation that ttc wasn't a quick fix for me but could go on for a while. Big big (((hugs))) for you, it's hard when you're down there. However I'm another month on and am feeling better about things, I guess we'll never completely let go of the sadness but the gaps between the hard times get bigger and it gets easier to manage? Always here when you need a rant though xxx

Welcome to Katherine - sorry to find yourself here but it's a good place to be in the circumstances.

hairy I wish you hadn't had to cone back of coursebut it's lovely to have you with us x

orange the bloods sound good, fingers crossed!

Btw ochaye and mwlsen I think start ttc again whenever you're ready emotionally once bleeding has stopped. However i would make sure you get a bfn first just so that you can be sure that any future bfp is a new pregnancy and not just hormones leftover from this one.

Monday 3rd Jan list

Nickstermum TTC#2 cycle 2 post MC UCL 30-40 BFP!!!
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2 Cycle ?2 (post MC#1) UCL 27 - 44 CD34
Freezingmyarseoff TTC#2 cycle 6 UCL28 CD48
Orangetoenails TTC#1, cycle 1 (MC#2), UCL 35, CD41 BFP!!!
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31 BFP!!
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD26
HidingInTheBackRow TTC1, cycle 2, UCL 26, CD23
Tunnocksteacake TTC #2, cycle 3, UCL30 CD22
youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 5 UCL33 CD21
knitterNotTwitter TTC#2, (round 3) cycle 5 UCL 25-30 CD21
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 5 UCL 35, CD16
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD16
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD16
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 4 UCL 40, CD15
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD14
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD14
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 2 UCL29 CD13
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 CD11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 6 UCL 24-30 CD9
ochaye TTC#3 cycle WTF UCL 31 CD9
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD7
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27 CD 7
Kat2504 ttc#1 cycle 5 ucl28, CD4
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 (but WTF cycle only 2 weeks long, so maybe it's only cycle 1 really?) UCL28, CD6

WTTC

Sarahmia TTC#2, MC2
MummyAbroad TTC #2,(MMC#1 31 Mar, ERPC 7 Jul), Ashermans Op 16 Nov
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#1 4th Oct WTF cycle BFP!!!
Barrenbrook TTC#1, MC#4 Oct 2010
Batteryhen MC conf Oct 2010
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Nurse47 TTC#2, UCL28, WTF cycle ERPC 9 Nov
Emoo TTC#2, MC#1 18 Nov 2010, WTF cycle
Mamafoof TTC#2, MC#1 Nov 2010, WTF cycle

MIA
Jamface TTC#2 post MC#2), UCL 27
Shitforbrains
Sillyness TTC#1 post MC1 WTF cycle
Lottiecrump UCL 27/30
Cheepz TTC#2 (round 4) UCL30
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, MC 17th Aug
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30 BFP!!!!
Getawiggleon TTC#2, UCL26
RunForTheHills TTC#1, UCL28
Tamashii TTC#2, UCL 33-35
Lemonsherbet TTC#1 ERPC 15 Oct

RECENT GRADUATES
BUnderthebonnet BFP 20 June
Muser BFP 22 June
northerngoldilocks - BFP 12 July
Magic8ballhastheanswers BFP 14 July
Hopefully BFP 22 July
IvySedai BFP 1 August
PenguinsMummy BFP 15th August
VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP 24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oct
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov
Inbetweener BFP 10 Nov

thanks izzy , and thanks ochaye too. think you hit the nail on the head there. I thought ttc would provide a quick fix but it is quite a long game. I can see how much I have stressed myself trying to get the bfp by the end of the year. It's made me feel like I have been doubly let down by my body, firstly by the mc, secondly by not conceiving despite five months of my best efforts. I need to make plans for 2011 that involve other things rather than just the baby. Take the pressure off a bit and not make ttc the be all and end all of my mental state.

Just been studying the list, see Knitter on it, don't remember hearing from her recently is she still ttc. Remember her from when I was first pg and from when I m/c. If you're out there am thinking of you and hoping all is well.

I may have had a sip or two of rose, but I am so glad to have this thread. In real life it's hard to talk about it without making a tit of myself by crying in public. In private, my partner really seems to have moved on from it. He is utterly sympathetic and gives me much cuddles and understanding and a good shoulder to cry on and is always there for me. But I don't think he feels the same sadness anymore. You ladies are wonderful and although it is maxi-crap that we have all had to find ourselves in this corner of the tinterweb, I'm glad to have such nice people here with me.

ochaye it may be worthwhile to be rescanned so you can make sure everything is out... have come across a few people with retained products on one or two different threads recently. Is the doc aware you have mc? If not it may be an idea to get it on record...? just a suggestion!

(((KAT))) these things take time hon. You are coming up to your due date, your frustration at your body is all the worse for the bfp not to have happened.... You are absolutely right, if there is anything at all you can focus on as a project to divert your thoughts it may help ease the stress you are putting yourself under? Its totally understandable lovely... one step at a time xxx I dont think anyone ever gets over losing a baby, however far along you were, it just gets easier with time, you praps just need a little more time xx

(((((hugs))))) kat - ups and downs are all part of this boat in which we find ourselves, I'm all new to this but I say cry if you need to, vent your spleen, rant and rave, do whatever will help a bit - that is what this thread is here for - and significant dates are bound to make things harder - I'm still new to this so I haven't hit any yet, but I'm sure it will come!

FX for owl for a good scan tomorrow

Sorry not more definite news orange but sounds probably ok from what others have said and look forward to hopefully better more definite news soon

I agree with some of the newbies recently - this is a lovely positive place to be and I am glad to have found you all

This moves so fast it's hard for me to keep up on my phone, but thinking of you all.

Dh has said a couple of times tonight he thinks I am pg thanks no pressure then.

Daddy'sgirl don't scoff at him though - my then 18 month old DD told me I was pregnant with my last pregnancy 'baby in there mama!'- she spends her life checking out my boobs and I guess spotted the difference - possibly your dh has a similar obsession!!! fx!

Kat 5 months seems to be a typical - go crazy date. Hopefully pink will be on here soon with her positive plan to sort us all out!! I thought I had cracked it last month and am trying not to collapse at being back at the beginning again. I keep imagining a huge snakes and ladders game - there seem to be a few too many snakes on my board at the mo!

Cyst!!!!! orange that is just horrible. I am guessing she/he has never been pregnant!

TTC hmmm I think most of us on here started pretty much straight away but the first af if a bit of a strange relief just to prove your body is operating again and gives the security of knowing your start date.

Good luck Owly - I think I will be with Nix and will sob my way through my next scan until they give the all clear - DH still has the token for the photo from last time [sad}

Sorry just another quickie-really will do a proper post soon but just wanted to give kat a huge hug. I had EXACTLY the same thing last month and the realisation that it's impossible to get pg before due date now is actually quite a relief in a weird way, as I think I'd also put myself under a lot of pressure to 'achieve' a BFP before then. I would have also started maternity leave tomorrow but I think I got my freaking out about that out of the way before chrimbo, and I feel unexpectedly chilled about going back (might feel different by mid morning tomorrow!!) If it's any comfort I went for some counselling at my local church as I was also feeling like I should be 'over it', and the vicar was lovely and said that actually 5 months isn't long, and that I might have quite a few more ups and downs yet. I also do the crying like a complete freak in public thing . Also I had a really good chat with DH about why he didn't seem so bothered about it as me and it was so worthwhile talking about it-he's also gutted but feels super optimistic it's just a set back rather than the end of the road, and so doesn't get so low as me. Sorry you're having a shite time right now, fingers crossed tomorrow will be better. I can't remember who said they are taking it one day at a time, maybe it was lady or YRMOTB, anyway I find that really calming, and am focussing very hard on not thinking about what might have been or worrying about what might but hasn't happened. I am also going to try very hard not to expect a BFP every month but to treat it as a long term thing. Clearly easy to say while not in the 2ww....!!

Katherine sorry, don't think I said hello before, sorry you're here :( also, daddy sorry about your horrible year last year, here's to 2011 being so much better.....

I'm a bit worried I've bigged-up the big Pink Positivity Plan but I will post full details of it for your amusement once I can get to a computer, too hard on the phone!!

Also, anyone looking for a random hobby to occupy themselves with, how about bell-ringing???!?! I ring bells ( the big ones on ropes) at my local church and it is amazing at chilling me out because i don't have enough processing power to think about anything else while I'm doing it. It's also good exercise and very social!! And you dont have to be religious or musical to do it....

A&r day after I started mc I bumped into good friend had only told dh, db and his wife no link at s and she said shed had a dream a the other night I was pg, when pg with my dd another friend said the same thing but a couple of weeks before I found out ( in fact at her house party )

I had a friend who told me I was having a boy called 'Colin' hmmm

Pink bell ringing sounds very cool. My DH designed a bell tower and had to learn all about the resonance of bells - I desperately wanted to check the bells out but they wouldn't let me up as I was 8 months pregnant at the time and were worried I would get stuck in the stairwell (tells you something about the whale like proportions I achieve during pregnancy!!!). My distraction at the moment is sewing - I have discovered the sewing machine I bought some three years ago but never managed to work out how to thread it!!! A friend came over and showed me and I am off and running - it is very obsessive!

pink thanks, good to know that I'm not the only one and that its normal to feel this way. I even ducked out of the crimbo party because I ought to have been leaving.
I think I will look into counselling. There is an mc group in the area and perhaps the local authority I work for will also provide staff welfare support. Think perhaps talking it over might help, as I'm not very good at doing that in real life with people close to me. 5 months isn't that long really, but I think people who don't know expect you to be over it faster.

Well tomorrow is another day and it will be nice to see people from work again and it will probably take my mind off how I am feeling and perhaps there will be some fun and laughs along the way.

I am looking forward to the Pink Plan

Quick hello and a big hug for kat. I'm new to all this but from what I can gather it's totally normal to be really up down for months and I guess a small part of us will always feel sad. I'm going to plan some totally non-baby related activities for 2011 so that I can feel as though there are still lots of things worth getting out of bed for. Have always wanted to learn to salsa...and DH says he'll take me to see the northern lights if there's no BFP action by the autumn!

pink I love the thought of you bell ringing...

dachs I've heard your holiday story before but it still astounds me. Ouch that must have been so painful. Do you holiday in the UK now? Presumably no camping (too much tent pegs and such for tripping). Good to hear the follicles are doing better this time - Hope you get a good harvest.

wombat fingers crossed it all pans out ok for you.

Hiding temps shooting up still good. But 9dpo was a little optimistic. Still, here's hoping they stay up!

Orange do you have an idea of when you ovulated? If so, make that day 14 and move your 'LMP' when looking at this stuff. I think the maximum you would measure is 6wks. But I think you just have to wait this one out sorry, it's horrible I know. But those are good levels. Hold on to that.

owly good luck tomorrow. I absolutely dread the whole scan thing. I just hope that you get good news.

mwlsn I'm so very sorry to hear of your stillbirth last year, a friend of mine lost her baby at 30 weeks around the same time. Are you being treated with Heparin or Clexane as well as the aspirin? I hope you get what you want soon.

YRMOTB those look like good goals, and a good idea for reviewing them daily. One step at a time, huh?

hi hairy nice to see you over here and turning a more positive frame of mind. Looks like the New Year is going to be looking up.

Kat I do think it's completely normal to still be having crying fits. Definitely normal. It's a big big hurt. It just takes time. I agree with Izz that the gaps get bigger in between the moments of hut. My DH also never showed the ongoing grief that I experienced. It was easier for him to dismiss as something that never was, I think.

Pink how much would it freak you out if I said I was a bell-ringer too?

I'm not. I just wondered how much it would freak you out

Right, so I did an internet cheapie this morning as I had a lunch to go to and was wondering about my drinking strategy. It was mostly a BFN, except for the merest shadow. I drove to the lunch but still had a glass of champagne as I knew it would be hours before I drove home again. Didn't get a chance to pick anything else up so will have an enforced 'leave it a couple of days'. Am expecting AF tomorrow because of OV date and typical luteal phase. Let's see what happens tomorrow then. Apart from getting up and going to work. Groan.

A and r - i really want to get into sewing, is it worth a try?

ladybee are your temps still up then? Will put my suspenders on for you and keep my fingers crossed...

owl best of luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you x

anr I'm really into sewing atm too! ....not good but into it

daddysgirl It def is worth a go. v theraputic! x

dach soo shocked at your hol story! how you feeling lovely? IVF is pretty full on eh! talk about roller coaster!

Me n DH were talking last night and we're going to try to find the cash to go down FX route as last pg even though not successful, it was a fluke anyway, think that its just breaking my heart hoping for BFP every month when its v unlikely to happen...I mean check out this and last chart unlikely!! ... I don't think its looking good Never mind onwards and upwards!

Oh just thought DS(5 nearly) said tonight... 'that Tummy's getting fat mummy!' ... 'I think my baby sisters in there' ((unfortunately its not )) OMG I WISH HE WAS RIGHT!!!! dd also saying that she wants a new baby.. thats what happens when they get 2 brand new cousins in the space of weeks I actually keep thinking stupidly that it could be possible, apart from the fact I am now cd15 so AF in the middle sort of cocks things up and temps state otherwise I think I'm going mad!

So Pink share the positivity

Owl good luck for tomoz

orange think its good news, and agree with lady, does that fit in with your dates? xx

Lady merest of lines still good me thinks?! FXxx

I'm sooo sorry i HAVE MISSED SO MANY PEEPS, TOO MUCH WINE AND TOO LITTLE SLEPP!

Ooops sorry for cvaps too... haven't got energy to delete and retype!

hows you lovely lady? xx

Oh and will somebody remind me tomoz to go on healthy thread, I have full intentions to start diet tomoz but think I may conveniently forget sure some of you will kick my arse point me in right direction!

Dear me... I'm not liking the ratio of faces in last post... miserable arse that I am!!!!

whilst donning sexy knicks (thats if I had any that fit thanks DS for reminding me that I am a lardy arse! ) and dragging DH upstairs at the same time .....

ladyb I cant believe your restraint! I would do at least another 5 if I got a line like that, even if it meant trecking to a late night pharmacy! I will log on as early as I can tommorrow to find out how you are going

dach great follie news, and its all happening faster this time, I bet you dont really have time to take it all in.

orange I hope your next blood test gives you some reassurance. Its so hard to get any concrete information so early on. Hang in there. xxx

Izzy hope everything is OK with your sis. How is she doing?

Right, sorry for not catching up with the rest of your chatterboxes, you all yack so much, I cant keep up!!

I have a feeling that I might be online a whole lot more soon though... I am getting my coil out on wednesday and will be able to start TTC immediately!! Just wanted to warn you all that I may morph into PyschoTTC lady again shortly and yes now is a good time to buy shares in HPT producing companies

Can I join please??? I feel soo much better having read a few posts that I'm not totally mad. I miscarried in July and would have been starting maternity leave today couldn't stop crying last night about it and I've been fine about it on the whole. I had an ectopic at 9 weeks in November didn't have a clue I was pregnant as no signs and having normal periods. I must have got pregnant straight after MC not that we were trying. Now I'm swaying from fear that I won't get pregnant, that something will go wrong if I do and I have one wonderful DD whom I adore and she is enough. Have been awake since 03.00am knew i should have come on here then, maybe I would have got some sleep!!!! Please add me to the list

TTC # 2 UCL 28 CD 4

Owl fx for your scan today, I'll be thinking of you x

I started knitting but got bored quickly, and am now onto jigsaws
LadyBee I would have tested around twice since then more restrained than me! so, have you yet?
((( Kat ))) I am so sorry, it is so easy to feel like a personal failure, I feel I've let dh and in-laws down. It's a good plan to try and do other things, and it's going to be tricky but it's a positive step in the right direction
Loopy welcome and sorry for your losses, it's a horrible position to be in, but these ladies will make you very welcome, provide good advice and a shoulder to cry on

My dh seems to not be as bothered but he's trying to be the strong one while I'm a blubbering mess :( although he wasn't over-excited by my BFP as he said he already knew actually, he noticed my boobs which are huge, and didn't grow last time

I'm sure I've missed people, sorry. Just also wanted to say thanks again for all the support and advice, I have relayed everything to dh and it has helped him so much too x

morning all. I'm on phone on the train to work (bah humbug!) so will do a proper catch up later. Just wanted to let you all know the madness and mentalling continues here. I slept so little last night from worrying that I couldn't get a temp this morning. The FR test line was weaker again but the CB Digital said 'pregnant 2-3 weeks' . I'm 14 dpo today and af was due yesterday. I'm totally panicking!