Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 10)

[youremindmeofthebaubles]

Had a miscarriage and ready to try again? This is the place for you, support in the form of virtual wine, chocolate and a great big shoulder to cry on (tears not essential). The new year beckons us, lots of BFP's for everyone

UCL= Usual cycle Length
CD= cycle day

orange I hope you're ok and things have calmed down for you. It's terrible not knowing what your body is doing. I hope you get some reassurance and some good news soon and you're being well looked after (()))

hongkong when is your dd? Hopefully you may have some good news before then, come and join us on the 2ww sofa x

Orange woke up thinking of you and your bean...hoping all is well, big hugs my lovely xx

Thanks everyone I really appreciate it. I've just had another scan and the sac's still there and has grown but cannot see anything. They've said I'm measuring correctly and want to wait and see as it's so early. I've had another blood test. They've said the chances of it being ok are 10-20%. I don't know what to think or how to feel. Sorry, I don't want bring everyone down :(

(((( orange )))) big hugs sweetie. Try to hold on to the positives for now - sac still there, measuring correctly. How far along are you? If it's still very early then you might not necessarily expect to see more than this atm. When will the blood results be back? When's the next scan?

I know there's nothing I can say that will make it better or stop you worrying, but I will be thinking of you and hoping you get some good news on the blood tests. I'm so sorry you're going through all this; just remember nothing is definite yet and 10-20% is not nothing.

And don't worry about bringing people down, we're here to support each other whenever it's needed. Post as much or as little as you need to xx

Morning all. How are you orange? Am hoping with everything crossed that no news is good news.

MC started on Christmas Eve so it's been two weeks now. Should I be worried about not getting a negative pg test? When I went for my last scan the hospital told me that they couldn't see anything so they thought it had all happened naturally and there was no need for an ERPC. They said to go back this Thursday if I was still bleeding - the bleeding stopped a few days ago but maybe I should go back to make sure everything's gone...?

:) at AandR's miracle baby. I also have my moments where any understanding of basic science seems to totally evaporate...

Orange thinking about you, what a horrible time for you and now you're in limbo. As izz says, keep thinking of the positives - they haven't written anything off yet. Hope they will see you again soon and in the meantime everyone is rooting for you x

So sorry for x-posts and big hugs (((( orange ))). What an awful thing to go through. How did they calculate the 10-20%? It doesn't sound as though they can see anything wrong. I guess it's just a case of waiting it out - is DP/DH there to take care of you? Am so, so sorry this is happening - please do keep posting as much as you like if it helps xxx

Thanks :) I genuinely thought I'd mc as the clot was so large, but they said it must have been building since weds and just dropped when too heavy.

The 10-20 was just an estimate, she said she wouldn't bet her weeks salary on it (said nicely). I get blood back this avo, and if ok maybe a scan in 10 days. They've said to keep off work in the meantime. Not actually sure how far I'm measuring, just correctly

I feel like I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, I'd actually started to accept it was over, but I'm not getting my hopes up as such a slim chance

Hadrian it might be too early yet, my friend took about 3 weeks

Hi Orange I'm so glad you got checked out. I know you dont want to get your hopes up, but you have actually got good news there. As its so early, to see a sack in the right place, the right size and having good blood results is about all the information you can get from a pregnancy at this stage.

I'm at the 10-20%. Is that statistic for your particular case or for any pregnancy at this stage? (because in early pregnancy all the statistics are grim reading)

How is your bleeding otherwise? Has it slowed/stopped? I really hope so. FX your bloods come back nice and high, if they do, please take some reassurance from them. This is a really good indication that the bean is burrowing and growing nicely.

stay strong xxx

Orange sorry your're not getting the answers you want but it's positive they saw you and your bloods will be back so quickly.
When was your LMP.
We're all here to support you.
(((loves)))

Hadrian I think I took about 3/4 weeks to test negatory,
I think it also depends on the amount of hormones built up too IYKWIM ,frustrating innit.
Hope your're holding up and getting RL squishes too.

Hiding Honey, if you're about, I understand how you feel.
I have taken many a break from MN when things were not going to plan.
Take care and don't stay away too long.

Izzy that was a really sweet thing you said bout diffed laydees, we've all been there, it's human nature and we'd be bit fat fibbers if we said it didn't bother us.

Loving the inner Ho weaponry ladies!

Hadrian,

I agree with orange it could take 3 weeks. Sorry you have probably said before but I dont remember, how many weeks pregnant were you? The more pregnant you were, the more time it will take for the levels to return to normal.

If it is really worrying you or driving you mad you could try splashing out on an expensive digital test and seeing if the number of "weeks pregnant" is dropping. Was the line really dark or a bit feint?

You should definitely go back and get seen ASAP if you have any sign of infection:

chills
fever
pain in uterus
smelly discharge

but if you feel OK, just keep monitoring yourself with HPT's. (Do you know that you can get a pack of 25 on Amazon for £5?)

Thanks Mummya and Pretty the chances are for me rather than in general - I thought she was going to say 1-2%. I literally passed that clot and the bleeding pretty much stopped, I've had a but of dark brown goo today. My LMP was on 17th Nov and my UCL is 35/36. I'm just waiting for results now, assuming that if they haven't risen it's bad news

Sheesh I really thought the size if that clot meant it was all over, sorry if I sounded dramatic last night, why can't this be easy?!

Aaah hello orange, it's so good to hear you sound so calm and brave. Great that the bleeding has stopped - are you in any pain? I guess if you passed a clot but everything looks to be still there then the clot may well be just a clot and not a sign of anything worse.

FX for the results this afternoon. Good that you're signed off work - have you got plenty to keep you distracted if the waiting game continues? Don't know if it's your sort of thing but Radio 3 are halfway through 12 days of Mozart which I find very soothing - makes me and my problems feel like a tiny part of centuries of human progress. Or there's always Come Dine With Me

Thanks for the advice everyone. I was 9 weeks pg when I MC'd. As it happens the test I did last night was digital - sent DH out to buy one and he's not much of an expert on these matters. It said 1-2 weeks pg so I guess it must be dropping. Anyway I feel fine so I guess I'll just sit tight.

COME ON BEAN ORANGE!

oh orange sweetie I can't imagine how are are feeling right now, but we are all here for you and willing bean orange to be sticky as sticky can be it's a good sign that you are measuring correctly - fingers crossed that it will be ok.

I went to see 'The King's Speech' earlier - Colin Firth was fab and even Helena Bonham Carter was bearable! I recommend it if you like that kind of thing.

I don't have my fingers crossed for my scan tomorrow because it doesn't feel like much has been happening over the weekend, but I'm trying to feel philosophical about it.

We got some nice new bedding yesterday and a nice new duvet and have commenced spring cleaning bits of the house (even though it's nothing like spring!) so hopefully I'll sleep really well tonight and the follicles might have a last minute growth spurt overnight!

Thanks Hadrian It's a good sign that it's 1-2, hopefully it's towards the 1 side rather than 2

Blood is over 10,000 which is the highest they measure and on Weds it was early 5,000s so good increase. She's signed me off for 2 weeks and I have a scan on 24th. I hope I get that far

Again, I'm really sorry for last night being so dramatic and thankful I have you guys. I feel like I'm complaining about nothing, as I'm so lucky to be pg in the first place, I genuinely thought it was over with a clot like that

You are NOT complaining about nothing orange! One of the things that makes me feel hopeful about TTC again is the thought that if it all started to go wrong again at least I'd have somewhere to go where people would understand and help me through. So bring on the drama! Blood figures sound ace (although I've never really understood what all that means )

dachs how would it have felt if something was happening?! Hope you and the follicles have a lovely night's sleep - all the very best of luck for tomorrow.

Orange - I'm so glad the sac is still there and there is still hope, esp with those blood results. You take good care of yourself now. x

MummyA - some of the things you wrote about your DH sounded very similar to me... the fears of the hard work of a very little one, things going wrong, miscarriage, possible prematurity etc. etc. I am 37, he is older, so I also feel a sense of urgency. But like you say, you can't not do things just in case things don't go quite to plan, or you'd never do anything. We too have talked and gone round in circles several times over the last few years or so. He doesn't deal well with emotional arguments; things have to be argued scientifically to make any impact, which is a bit tricky where TTC is concerned. I seem to have made an impression by saying I would end up on average unhapper without a 2nd child than he would with a 2nd child, plus I'm statistically more likely to carry that unhappiness for longer as my life expectancy is greater! Seemed to work anyway, as I got my CD12 shag last night - alleluia! Doesn't seem the best position to be starting TTC from though.

Hadrian - I got a BFP 2 weeks post-miscarriage, then a BFN at 3 weeks. I didn't test in the week in between, as I'd had a scan by then that showed nothing left. If you feel well, aren't bleeding, and have no symptoms of infection, I wouldn't worry, and would test again in a while.

Dachs - good luck for scan tomorrow, hope they've grown nicely now.

Hi emoo Its actually been a comfort to know that DH and I are not the only ones having these problems (if that doesnt sound too wierd, I'm not at all glad you are going through the same, its pretty miserable and frustrating) We had a really similar conversation where I asked him what his greatest fear was and he said that a second child might put such a strain on our relationship that we might end up splitting up. I pointed out that for me NOT having a second child might put such a strain on our relationship that we might end up splitting up! I couldnt help but realising that over the last year with all the complications of my mc, we have had the strain, the expense, 9 months of worrying, ALL of the negatives of a pregnancy but without the baby at the end Hopefully this "proves" that if our relationship can stand up to that, it can stand up to a 2nd child - or anything!

My DH also responded really well when I asked him about how he imagined our future when we are older - did he want to go to one of our childrens weddings or two? How many grandchildren did he want around? etc. We both agree that while the first years might be tough, it would be so lovely to have a bigger family than we do now.

Glad you made up with DH xxxx

Orange dont apologise for the drama! Thats what this thread is for! xxxx

Dach sending you some good vibes for your scan tomorrow, may you be blessed with the best follies the sonographer has ever seen!!

Hiya all, sorry not been on today yet, i have been thinking about you but have been on a big (gentle) country walk this aft

Proper catch up later, have missed a lot!

Orange that sounds positive chic x Its not over, and your levels are still increasing... get those feet up, get a chick flick on and sit armed with a box of chockies! Im so sorry you have had this upset, its just hideous when you should be able to enjoy and rest x

mummy i went through the same with Dh just after Mc he wouldnt come near me, wouldnt even talk about it..and he had his own reasons. The comments and asking by DS for a little brother i think just twanged his heart strings... broke mine actually!! And after that we talked, and rocked and rolled!! Talking is the best thing you can do, other than the action

Proper catch up later, gotta get the roasties in xxx

Hello all just wanted to poke my head around the corner! orange really sorry it's been such a horrible stressy time these last few days. If it's any reassurance, sometimes when I have AF I think a big clot has fallen out but it turns out that it's just a big pile of blood so their theory that it's accumulated blood isn't mad. Try and get lots and lots of sleep over the next couple of weeks - it's good news about the blood and that things are measuring ok so try and hold on to that.

hadrian I had exactly the same thing - digi test dropped to 1-2 by week 2. It took me just over another fortnight to go properly negative but I knew it would be when I tested again as all my symptoms had finally buggered off. Fingers crossed it'll be quicker for you than that.

dachs everything crossed for you for tomorrow nice lady xx

velvet I snuck a look at your chart and it looks v. v. promising to me!!!!

Thanks for asking after me - have been trying to take a break from mentalling for a while. Have chucked thermometer away as think I ov'ed on Monday and have been properly sick with some horrible cold/fluey thing so I think the readings would have been junk anyway and I definitely agree with lady that my mood is directly related to the temperature. I have been following the positivity plan with mixed success, and actually what it means at the moment is that my emotions are completely polarised between the depths of despair, and ridiculous optimism. My body is playing particularly cruel tricks on me at the moment - I'm trying not to symptom spot and instead get to the stage that I haven't had a period for a few months (yeah yeah, I know unlikely but still, worth a try!!!), but all week my boobs have been maaahhhhussive and really really really sore, and I've been feeling pukey. But I'm only on CD 20 or 21 or something so I think it's just a 2WW hormone levels thing but it means it's going to be tough to forget about not being pregnant when my body does a perfect impression of the symptoms for 2 weeks in every 4!!!

I agree with what the others have said about the BFPs, although more articulately than I could. Basically, end up being chuffed for the BFP-er, super sorry for myself and on balance end up just feeling :( Am feeling particularly sensitive at the moment as DD just around the corner and that pretty much co-incides with having been trying for a year. And literally everyone I know has now gleefully thrown away the pill packet and has told me how excited they are to be TTC - I know it's not a race but it's going to be tough to stay positive and not get emotionally exhausted by this whole thing.

So basically I'm hunkering down for the long haul, working very hard on trying not to be mental, and trying to forget that I'm even TTC as far as I can........ I will keep popping in here from time to time but probably not as prolifically as I used to, as coming on here reminds me of what day I'm on, that I'm TTC and still not pregnant etc. etc. - hope you understand! You guys have all been such a huge support to me over the last 6 months or so but I need to take a bit of a break for a while - plus I'm expecting work to be mental busy for a while so not much time for sneaky MNing!!! Love you all heaps xxxxxx

pink I totally understand all that.Due dates are quite oppressive, but you will get through it. It's almost a release of emotion after. See you soon xx

orange those bloods sound excellent! thats fab. Now go put your feet up!

dachs fx for tomorrow for you, glad you've had a relaxing weekend.

gotta go cook, as like nix I'm puttin the roasties on. Will try and pop back later.

Hi Pink its good to hear you sounding so positive. Hope these due date days are bearable. I agree with YRMOTB that there is a before DD and after DD. I found that my sorrow built into a big creshendo about a week before and evapourated completely after the DD had passed. I am in the same boat as you as far as TTC for a year. This time last Jan we started (after 6 months of debating!) Still, while its been deeply disapointing that its taken much longer than expected, I am not at all ready to give up completely. Better late than never! See you soon xxxx

dachs fx for tomorrow, let's hope the follies have done their work!

orange fab news about the blood tests, let's hope those levels keep going up. Realistically I think that's as good as it's going to get at this stage. I had a fair bit of early bleeding with ds and he was fine so I'm hoping it's the same for you x

pink the due date can feel like a bit of a monster, I do relate to that, please take it easy and don't expect too much of yourself. I did feel better once it was out of the way, and I hope that you do too. I understand the need to take a step back though and hope with less mentalling you'll feel less stressed about everything. Make sure you keep in touch. Big ((((hugs)))) and all the best for a chilled out bfp ASAP xxxx

Hi all,

I'm not quite sure where I belong as far as threads go but have had a scan read through this one and think I am probably best fitting in here Bit of background - I have a ds who is 4. Have been TTC for 3 years since, I have endometrosis and PCOS and have had 2 MCs, my last one being a MMC at the end of August. Went for my 12 week scan to be told the baby had passed away at 9weeks . Have been really struggling to come to terms with this particular MC. It prob has a lot to do with my close cousin being a similar way along in her pg as I should have been (due dates literally a couple of weeks apart). I also ended my childminding job at the end of dec as I felt like this wasn't where I was meant to be in my life (should have started maternity in Jan). I think I secretly hoped to be pg again quickly.

Anyway, have started this cycle on Clomid. Am on CD3. Had a ridiculously emotional weekend. Felt like my life is in limbo, felt worthless as a mother/wife/woman in general. My head has just been a shed for months and only now do I actually think I might be coming to terms with whats happened. I think I got worked up aswell as knew I would be starting the Clomid this weekend and although we desperately want another baby I just wasn't sure I could do it all again if things went wrong....in fact I am still shit scared but then I guess we all are, aren't we?

Have been applying for part time jobs today as I think I need to get out and do something for my own sanity after years of working with children and bringing up a lively 4 year old. Am actually feeling quite positive about the prospect today which is amazing as yesterday I was in a a whole world of mental anguish.

So, sorry to babble on. Am looking forward to 'meeting' you all and as I am in a positive mood (which has been such a long time) I will send all my positive vibes through