TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

I can't temp as I am up at 6 with ds1 having been up previously with ds2. I think you have to have been asleep for a while for it to be accurate?
I would so love to know if I am ovulating.
I will just have to keep knicker checking.

Well my temp went up today wooo! So I reckon I have ovulated, though not sure exactly when but must have been sometime in the last few days.

I find temping is reasonably accurate if you do it around the same time, after at least an hour or so of sleep... I guess it differs for everyone but I find it doesn't really throw my temp out if I wake up at 5 and then take it at 7. But what does throw it out is if I have a bad night overall.

Good luck, Isla. Sounds promising.

I am utterly by my cycle. I had three days of spotting before AF started properly, then eight days of bleeding, followed by another four days of spotting. I'm now on CD16 and had more spotting yesterday. My temp is still low, so it can't be ov. Aargh.

thanks silkenladder. I'm hopeful... can't do anything but wait now.

My first few cycles were all over the place. My second period was really heavy with seven or eight days of bleeding followed by spotting. Hopefully, its just that it takes time for the body to kick back into the cycles!

eeek, my mum had dd 7-730 today as we had the medical for our job in a different city. We got home and she was asleep. I wasn't even sore; dd even went down ok without me. Last night only 1 feed also... ho hum, I know she is little, but i think we may well be saying byebye to this thread in the next few weeks. Mixed feelings but I think it will be better when I follow thru on the decision.
Good luck here xxx

Hi all.

Managed to only do 2 feeds today, but DH had to put DS to bed when I was out and DS was really upset.

I am on CD 17 and no sign of anything happening. If you want to do temping, I can highly recommended the Boots Digital Fertility Monitor. It has an alarm on it so you take your temp the same time every day, and it records all the temperatures so you don't even have to turn on the light. They are £40 new or there are used ones on ebay for less.

Unfortunately I gave mine to my friend who is probably not really TTC, but it is too awkward to ask for it back.

good luck gauntlet

YNC are you trying to reduce feeding? DD is a nightmare when DH puts her to bed. I do it always except when I am occasionally not there which isn't too often. She'll only accept me if she knows I'm there, if I'm not there she will go to bed - after a little fight! Hope something happens soon

Somewhere around 4DPO here. Kind of liking the calm of knowing I can't do anything else this cycle.

I am trying to reduce yes. Before I was in hospital in December we were down to 1 feed a day in the morning. Now we're on 3-4 most days again, but his teeth have been bothering him loads and he's been off his food so I've not really been trying much.

Nothing is going to happen this cycle anyway. DH has gone all skittish again and said I am pressuring him (by pointing out cute babies and saying I'd like one). Now we seem to be grappling with the question of whether we really want to have 2 children or leave it at just DS. DH wants 'a few weeks' to think about it.

Have told him I am happy to take time to think about it, but he is NEVER to bring up contraception with me at moment of almost no return again. It needs to be discussed at rational moments, FGS. So it is condoms again for next few weeks (as agreed in the car whilst taking dog to the vet).

Hello everyone. I was hoping not to want to join the discussion, but I have a feeling this month hasn't been a success.
My ds is 10m and to my dismay (at the time), my AF returned at roughly 5m pp. I've had 5 AFs, I think. And it feels like 6 is on the way.
We started swi this month, though I felt we may have hit the right time over Xmas. Sadly not. But I thought I might be P cos I had lower ache a couple of days prior to my af which is more than I'd normally get. Trouble is I've only just started paying attention. But all seems different to before ds arrived. Started to worry I wasn't ovulating, but then had pain at about right time which I always used to get, so am really hoping I am (now at least). Feeling anxious about it all as I'm 40, so no time to lose. Had bfp 3rd cycle with ds. Am still bf on demand, 2-3 in night, 4-ish during day, though ds v erratic at mo. And eating more solids gradually so guess less hungry for it. Also normally have plenty ewcm, but this cycle much less, which also has me concerned. Started trying opk about day 9 this cycle, but then went away and didn't continue. Also all neg and started making me more anxious. But believe I may have ov day 14 this month. Post ds cycle has been far shorter than before - 26/28 days, rather than 30 odd. Almost obsessively reading signs of early P on mn in hope I can kid myself this bfp not af on the way. (With ds had no pink mucus or anything like that, which have right now (almost! Obsessive checking) - Sorry, tmi). So thought I'd join in the fellow hopers! Sorry about ramble and dodgy acronyms - not fully up on them all! Until af actually arrives, I will keep really hoping, however much in vain. Just can't help it.

Hi Melody and welcome - your situation is so similar to mine. My DS is 9 months and I've had AF back since he was 5 months, and about 4 cycles since. I'm currently on my 2nd cycle of TTC but it still doesn't feel like everything is right.
I felt as though I ovulated about day 19 this month, but the feeling weren't strong. I'm now on 16 dpo and no af yet BUT I caved in last Monday and tried a preg test but got BFN
...still, I don't know why my period hasn't turned up. Is it possible????? oh god, i hardly dare to hope. Mind you, feel like AF will arrive at any second. Grumpy, bloated and craving chocolate (eeeeee - I have chocolate puddng in the oven RIGHT NOW, as we write!!!!)
so we'll see. If AF doesn't arrive by monday, maybe I'll try another test. I guess it's possible my cycle is just so screwy at the moment that I'm just having a really, really long one. so frustrating.
Keep up the SWI everyone!

It's so frustrating , isn't it marthamay. I think if we want something that much, our bodies can play along for us. Mind you, does sound hopeful. But having said that I know my af has always shown the moment I've forked out for a P test! I don't feel right but think my af just much worse after having ds. And I didn't have aching like this with him until I had a very certain bfp.
On the bright side - choc pud! Hope it was yummy. Fingers crossed for us both, and everyone else, over the weekend :)

Also mm, testing on Monday last would have been very soon to get a bfp, no?

Hey there Melody, yes I've just thought about it a bit more carefully and you're right, on Monday it would have only been 12 dpo so too early for a bfp...! Well, that's a little more hope to keep hold of!
hmmmm...chocolate pudding was scrumptious.
good weekend to you too.

hello melody. I know exactly what you mean about only just starting to pay attention to your cycle, I am like that too. I used opks first time this cycle and they made me anxious, I am not sure I will use them again (although I have a few leftover so I might use them!!) I'm always hopeful until AF arrives....

Marthamay I wondered where you were , I am amazed you have held out on testing at 16dpo! Are you still holding on til Monday??

Yank sorry to hear DH is changing his mind ... hopefully you can lose the condoms soon

We're on 4 feeds a day here and I think I would like to drop the ones before/after her nap, but I know I'd have a fight to do so, and at the moment I'm not up for that! We're going on a big holiday in April, so if I'm not preg by the time we get back, I might think about reducing feeds a bit. Thats my plan anyway!

BIL/SIL visited this weekend and let slip that they are trying again. Their DD is 10 months older than our DS.

Hello all!

I've just been inspired to join mumsnet after reading this thread (and its predecessor).

My husband and I have a wonderful 11 month old daughter (born at home last March) and have been tyring for #2 since my periods returned when she was 6 months old (Sept10). She breastfeeds 4ish times during the day and once or twice at night. We're charting and using OPKs and trying to keep things 'chilled'!

4 cycles on and my luteal phase is a pitiful 4-5 days, so no chance of getting pregnant anytime soon. Is there anyone else in a similar position? I know a few other people who're ttc whilst bf babies younger than my daughter and all seem to have normal luteal phases - I can't help feeling a wee bit envious (especially as one has just found out she's pregnant on cycle #2)!

I know a luteal phase defect is relatively common whilst bf, but 5 days seems a little extreme. I'm hoping it'll lengthen in time... sooner rather than later, I hope...!

Good luck to everyone, and looking forward to getting to know you all. :)

I'm sorry Yank. Really hard when others are doing something we want ourselves. But could it possibly encourage your DH? Make him see it might be a good idea if others are keen? Or is that the issue?, with their DD being older he might want to wait longer too?
Whatever, I'm sorry it's upset you. Fingers crossed your situation changes for the better soon.

Marthamay - any news?!

I was feeling hopeful today at cd26, same as last month. But then I thought that that was unusually short (for which I have a (highly unlikely) theory) and most previous cycles have been 28/9 days. So still not late and still more days to wait. Keep reprimanding myself for hoping! I'm not late yet!
But aches/cramping gone, which (as I remember - in itself unreliable despite being less than a month ago!) led straight on to AF. More hope!

(My theory on the 'early' AF last month came about because I was sure I 'could' be P because of the cramping beore AF, so when AF did come I googled the possibility of being P and early F being end of P rather than AF, and came across one instance on dr page of grossly low progesterone(?) leading to end of P earlier than AF would be expected. Not sure whether I found that encouraging now or not. But it's amazing what we can find when we want to convince ourselves of something!)

So I think what I wanted to say tonight was, still hoping but desperately trying not to. Keep remembering just how blessed we are with DS. And wondering whether I'm crazy wanting this, still being so sleep deprived.
Am I the only one with this worry?
I hope everyone else is doing well tonight.

Hi inuk.
I hope your LP lengthens soon.
I hadn't even heard of the LP until this month - it's amazing how little I knew last time.
Hopefully there's someone with some answers.

I have a question though. Do you know your LP is so short because of the OPKs? Just curious as I've not used them for more than a few days so far, and so have no certainty I'm ov at all! (As soon as I learnt about LP I worried about mine!).
Hmmm - knowledge is power, or just endless worry?!

Oooh yes, when we have a 'bad' night I do sometimes find myself thinking "... do I seriously want to go right back to the beginning of sleepless nights again?!" But then I think of all the 'pros' of having another child, and they definitely outweigh the 'cons'. :)

I charted for over a year when we were trying the first time found (2 'phases' as our first pregnancy ended with an MMC at 12 weeks) - temperatures and cervical fluid - so when I got my first period back this time it was natural to go back to charting. My temps have been a bit erratic due to night waking, but combined with cervical fluid I've been able to tell when I've ovulated each cycle (hence knowing my LP is very short). Last cycle I used OPKs too and got my first ever positive... never had one before, even in the cycle we conceived our daughter!

I used to have a luteal phase of 11 days, so on the short side, but above the 'magic number' of 10 days. 5 is just faaar too short. I've been taking agnus castus and am now giving B6 a go too (taking a B-complex), to see if it makes a difference. Still trying really hard to stay chilled about it and have a 'it'll happen when it's meant to' mindset - not always easy, though!

I hope you get good news in the next few days. It's hard to get the balance between hoping and keeping your feet on the floor, isn't it! Fingers crossed for you :)

Hello again all

I love the internet, it's amazing isn't it, there's a place for everyone and every topic of conversation. So AF finally arrived today after being missing in action for 25 months!!! And naturally I knew just the place I could pass on this information. :o I remember there were a few other ladies who'd had the weird pinkish mucus. Well I had some more yesterday just before AF arrived so I think it might have been a very, very light bleed for those who were wondering. In other news DS is sleeping through 3 or 4 nights a week (at only 17 months :o ) and me and DH are getting on much better to the extent that he's even watched an episode of OBEM with me, and has cooed at babies, so I'm hoping he'll be keen to swi in a few months or so. Yank I hope your DH decides he's keen to do it too, and Inukshukdreamer - I love your name!!! I lived in Vancouver for a while and there was a wonderful copy of an inukshuk by the beach.... fond memories!

poppet CONGRATS!!! That's great news! Must feel very exciting to reach that next stage.

hi inukshuk I too have no idea about my luteal phrase and have only just started taking real notice of my cycle. I always used to know when I was ovulating because it was so obvious but I never counted between that and AF so not sure.

I couldn't wait until today [shame] to test so I crept downstairs on Sun morn and did a secret test which was BFN....then again today....BFN.

What do you think is going on?
Is it possible for your AF to come and go while you are BF?
Is it possible that I am pregnant but the test is just not picking it up yet?
Is it possible that I didn't ovulate this month so AF is delayed...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh.....it's really frustrating.

Gosh it sounds bizarre... and very annoying. I certainly think from what I've heard taht AF can be a bit erratic while you're BFing..... so it could be one or three on the list. But it could also very definitely be no 2 as well. I know we couldn't pick up DS that early, well one home test eventually did, then the doc's didn't so he cheerfully told me I wasn't pregnant :S
Good luck!

Hmmmmm...

poppet totally bizzaro. oooooo, your story about DS makes me feel a little hopeful! thank you.

I think maybe I had an anovulatory cycle. Been reading up and sounds as if this can happen whilst BF. Maybe the three weeks when DS was jet lagged and so co-sleeping (BF constantly, all night!) really messed with my hormones.
I think for my sanity I am going to assume that I am not preg and just wait for AF to arrive and start again.
I think I am going to try a few other things too - try to reduce caffeine as much as poss and start taking my vitamins for a start...who knows.

From what I've heard it's very possible for cycle lengths to be erratic whilst bf... i.e. if your child goes through a period of feeding more often it can delay ovulation... could be that you ovulated later?

Poppet45 - I know just the inukshuk you mean, near English Bay! We've had two amazing holidays (including our 2006 honeymoon) in Vancouver and travelling around BC and the Rockies, and also one trip to Nova Scotia... we're in the UK now but hoping for a move to Nova Scotia in a few years...

I've started having fertile CM and just told my husband (who's even readier for #2 than me, if that's possible)... who replied "ooh, does that mean we have to make love every nigt now?" I rarely had any fertile CM before being pregnant, but in my bf cycles I've had about 10 days of fertile CM before ovulation...!!