TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Poppett, it's not mastitis is it? I got it for the first time when DS was 15 months, very odd.

Will add my voice to the chorus saying your DH is bonkers if he thinks life will ever be back to 'normal' after a baby. There will be a new 'normal'.

I'm the same as you, I'd rather get it over and done with and I'm 35 this summer so not getting any younger. I also have no career to speak of so it's the best time for me, rather than going back to some kind of shite job and then giving it up again.

DH keeps saying 'when things settle down'.... And when might that be dear?

Hmmm I think it might be thrush not mastitis, as it's both boobs and DS's hand is permanently in his mouth and he's being v fussy foodwise but really his final molars don't seem to be that close to cutting through - so maybe it's in his mouth too? As for the other discussion I'm going to ask DH what he thinks to us trying after DS's second birthday in August. Obviously I don't know when to quit but cross fingers for me!

I know that she isn't as old as yours Poppet- but I am also having some problems with painful latch at the moment. I get indentations ( yes... bitemarks ) where her upper incisors sit just on the edge of my areola. The biting is obviously painful; but that is constant. Not got a clue how to stop her from digging in with her top teeth. ...Sorry to steal your question; hoping someone has info.

Poppet- also really, really sad to hear that you are having a nasty time with DH at the moment. Thinking of you xx

poppet just a thought but do you have any couple time? In some ways I treat dh as another of the kids and factor in attention for him too. Date nights are a good way of reclaiming that coupley feeling without a sitter. I have no family close by so totally understand. I have also discovered that making the effort to have more sex puts dh in a better mood and he is therefore more understanding and helpful I know it's the last thing you feel like when you are sleep deprived though. I also decided to run my house as if it was just me and then anything he did was a bonus. I have become very organised as a result and works well for us. To be fair dh does chip in a fair bit. Don't know if these ramblings are of any help

Bfn here tonight for me. I think I have to do some soul searching as to whether to follow my head or my dream regards dc4 so many people say oh you're brave and now I am beginning to wonder if they are right :(

oops meant to say I had loads of issues with blocked ducts etc when they started dropping feeds. Far more so than in the early days.

Thanks QueenFee, well I have a docs appointment tomorrow and DS has one today as he has an awful, awful cough so bad that I think there was some blood on his sheets this morning :( The receptionist reckoned the doc might be able to put me out of my misery too today and fingers crossed as it's getting really unbearable particularly as DS wants to feed all the time as he's ick.
We don't have much couple time and we should do date nights, we tried it a while back but this was when I was very off sex due to I I found it too much pressure, I think bfing was mucking with my hormones so I had no libido, plus I have issues with an assault from my past so it totally complicates matters because if I don't do the deed for a while it builds back up to a scary thing for me. Anyway I should try again, now we're nightweaned I just might have to force myself to consume sufficient wine to relax :) Although I fear sex is now an issue because DH thinks I just want to do it to conceive, and I'm a bit fed up because he just wants sex for his own ends and is ignoring what he knows I'd like out of it. I'm still in the not really talking to him phase at the moment. Yes how very mature, but I'm just feeling really hurt.

Hmmm I wonder if the blocked duct thing could be a possible, related to the end of night feeding maybe?
And I don't think you're mad to consider four, you sound very organised. I suppose the question is more could you cope with one more child? The overall number is irrelevant if you're sailing along fine with the family you have so far. Gosh I wish we were, I can't imagine DH with three let alone four.

Poppet... sounds like you are putting yourself under a huge amount of pressure re;sex particularly... My DH sounds similar to you on this- he has lots of things in his past, and isn't all that keen really; we went to relate for a year- definitely helped us to talk about it without me huffing and getting all offended.

Good luck at the dr's. ( coughing madam here too)
x

Dh has mentioned counselling in the past too, maybe we should do it, I've always been reluctant as had some horrible family therapy sessions as a kid (screwed up, much, moi?) and kind of really dislike therapy ever since. Maybe we should though, admittedly it's not quite what I had in mind for fun couple time. -sigh- Although it would probably be far more beneficial than a few meals out. Not that they would hurt of course.

I read an article in Cosmo about 15 years ago about keeping sex interesting in a long-term relationship and it suggested the following plan: first ban sex and orgasms for a set period (say two weeks), give each other massages, or spend time holding each other and stroking hair or something. The next two weeks orgasms are allowed, but no penetrative sex, after that you should be gagging to dtd again (apparently).

Please don't ask how I have remembered this for so long, but it occurs to me that it might be a good strategy for getting back into the swing of things without too much pressure on either side.

Just to say keep trying.
I'm BF morning and night on work days and whenever DD1 fancies it when i'm at home.

Given how rough i feel and the +ve preg test i think it all happened quite quickly and without the return of the period.
So it is definitely possible
(stats were TTC 2, 29 DD 10 months old)

Congratulaions nuttyone

That was fast. And reassuring I would think for those who haven't seen AF yet.

Can I just ask what POP is? Just went back and read your first post on this thread and remembered I hadn't been able to work it out.

Did you just know? how did you know when to test. I am a couple of months behind, but now feeding the same as you nuttyone....

AH mAZE Zing. and a little jel.com / happy for you!

Congratulations nuttyone hides jealous face of these super speedy grads
Well way back here in the not so fast lane, as one of those still TT TTC :) I have some better news. DH says he'll agree to start trying after DS's 2nd birthday (yey!!!!), which is in August (booo). I'd like to start sooner, but if it will ease his fear of two teeny tinies then I'm fine to wait. In the meantime I'm going to get that book Take Charge of Your Fertility from the library, try not to get too broody looking at all these lovely new babies friends are expecting, keep following the progress of this thread with interest, and look forward to seeing the reappearance of AF and aim to make up for lost time as soon August arrives. DH won't know what hit him :o

Glad you've got agreement from DH there Poppet, TCOYF is meant to be really good.

Nutty, great news, congratulations!

As for my own slightly reluctant DH, with possibly TMI, tonight, at a critical juncture DH says 'so are we going to use something?'

'Well, considering we've not used anything since end of November, why would we start again?'

And after, he says 'We really need to make a decision on contraception' Uh.....little late there.

So put forward my case again as far as if we want a 2nd child I want to do it now or not at all. I don't want to go through re-starting career/retraining only to stop again. I'm 35 this year and have PCOS, so I don't think I will be quick to conceive, and we've had one MC prior to DS so am prepared for that again. We have loads of baby stuff from DS and shouldn't need a lot more.

Got a nod of agreement but 'I'm still worried about money and stuff'. So am I, but we will manage. Remains to be seen whether he is truly on board.

Thanks all. Sorry to make you a little green poppet45.
The pop is progesterone only pill (cerazette) I took it from 4 months after DD was born. I figured that the week after stopping the pill my ovaries may go through a rampant re-awakening so we dtd (many many times).
As for how i knew, hides face in shame i had a 3 glasses of wine when taken out for birthday dinner. The hangover was still there at 6pm the following day. Had a sudden inkling that all was not as it seemed.

Good luck to everyone, i have just measured DDs room to realise that it will take two cots but nothing else!!! time to get inventive with shelf building and under cot storage!

Hi all - I've missed a lot! Poppet although you're delaying TTC a little, at least you have a positive agreement. A little time may be just what you need. Some months to focus on the relationship first.

Sex is a tricky one. Me and DH didn't have sex from when I got pregnant until DD was well over a year old! I just had no sex drive until my periods returned and the thought of being touched, especially on my boobs, totally icked me out. I feel back to normal where sex drive is concerned now - if maybe a little more tired than I used to be! We had quite a few months (maybe six?) getting back into a sexual relationship without TTC. Now we are TTC we are definitely doing it more, but DH doesn't seem to mind my motivation too much I've also had issues with sex in the past, and DH and I have had 'sexless' periods in the past. So I think we both know our relationship is built on a lot more than sex. When the babies are little its a tough time, lack of sleep etc so arguments, lack of sex etc is totally normal.

I'd agree about blocked ducts being a possibility - I had loads of these and they can feel like your boob is bruised and possibly you could feel a lump. Try putting baby feeding the other way round from normal when on the affected boob (eg rugby ball style) - basically trying different positions can help to clear the blockage quicker. I also get indentations from teeth around the nipple at every feed (and have done since she had teeth!) but it doesn't hurt me or cause a problem so thats not necessarily an issue - but obviously with biting and if it hurts then it is a problem!

I highly rec TCOYF - its fantastic!

I'm on CD19 here and was beginning to get despondent with negative OPKs since CD11, and wondering if I would ovulate this cycle (which is maybe stupid since last cycle I ov'd around CD20 so maybe I was too eager). But EWCM appeared this morning so hopefully its on its way, need to get SWI!

And I missed out saying

congrats to nuttyone and good luck to marthamay - you never know!

Yank - talk about choosing his moment! I hope he comes fully on board soon... men!!

splutter at on board. Sorry should get my mind out the gutter.
Agree however in the spirit in which it was intended.
Congrats nuttyone it continues to be encouraging to have graduates.
I think we are still on for no 4 it was just a knee jerk reaction to a difficult few days with the kids.

lol... I'm just too innocent too think like that

well, 'coming fully' does aid the whole process quite a bit.

I'll get my coat.

So I had all the signs of ovulation this weekend. Lots of EWCM, positive OPK on Fri... and my temp still hasn't gone up. We did loads of SWI and I'm going to be really pissed off if it was all for nothing as I'm exhausted!!! I'm kind of hoping I did ov as when I got pregnant with DD it seem to take a few days for my temp to rise. Last month it happened quickly but I was ill so that could have masked it. This is only the third cycle I've charted. Sorry for rambling on... I just really hope I have ovulated!

Isla, fingers crossed for you. No experience with the OPKs but it all sounds really good.

(and thank you for coming back, I was sure I'd killed the thread with smut )

I think I was the one with smut - although I didn't realise it!!!!!! I thought I'd killed the thread!

I really shouldn't take my temperature - it makes me too obsessed. I've taken it about 5 times today and I know each time tells me nothing as its the waking temperature that counts! First time I've done OPKs - bought a load of cheapies, about 35p each or something. Thought they'd last a couple of months but I only have six left!! Think I started a tad early in the cycle. Not sure I would buy anymore - they didn't tell me anything more than cervical fluid and just stressed me out when I kept getting negatives.