TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Great news Poppet45. On all fronts! I certainly :o when I read your message!
I personally ball my eyes out when I watch OBEM. Each time a baba appears! DP now questions the advisability of watching it! (Though he's almost as bad.)
I am sure a few more episodes and your DH will be fully on board.

Inuk - swi and being chilled about it are very hard to do simultaneously. Which is a pity as i am sure it's an important part in the process.
You are obviously an expert on the charting front.
On a different note, i am finding it a relief to hear others still talking of night feeds. Starting to think am the only one in RL of everyone I know. Though currently wishing DS would be too busy sleeping in the night to think of eating rather than too busy playing during the day!! Hmmm, some hope.

Yes! melody I agree! I was so relieved to hear about all the people still night feeding!

Everyone around me looks at me like I'm some crazy when I tell them that I still feed DS at night. Part of me thinks 'oh my god, what am I doing wrong' but this thread is very reassuring.

I'd like to cut down on night feeds though, because I haven't slept much since DS was born and I live in constant hope of more than 5 hours at a time.

I don't think we are crazy to want this at all. Even in my sleep deprived zombie-like state, the idea of another baby makes me go gooey. I'll happily be a zombie for a few years more. It is very intimidating though.

My DH asked me tonight if I was disappointed about BFN - well, yes I guess I am BUT at the same time I have only been ttc for a couple of cycles now, my body still feels a little wobbly around the edges (not worried about my weight, just my general health!) and I really am like a zombie with gradually diminishing braincells - so it can't do any harm for my body and mind to have just a little more time. This helps soften my disappointment.

inuk, welcome! I charted for about 3 years in total before DS and I had an LP of 11 days as well. HOpe the B6 helps, I seem to remember I got up to 14 day LPs when I took it.

melody, thanks. It is just very irksome that BIL/SIL have no jobs and live on benefits and barely seem to hold their lives together, and even so they are trying for another baby....in comparison we are really not in a bad place but DH always sees things negatively and worries about money (now and in future).

It was bad enough the first time round when SIL kept banging on about having PIL's 'FIRST grandchild'. I had the miscarriage just over a month before SIL had her DD so it was a very hard time. I know I shouldn't care what they are doing as it's nought to do with me.

Poppet, that's wonderful news re AF returning! YOur DS is same age as mine, is he August birth? Were we on same antenatal thread?

martha, I also wondered about AF coming and going when BFing. I'm on CD 23 and absolutely no sign of anything.

Oh Marthmay...SO frustrating. I agree, it could be any of the options
I know my first and second AF had a gap of 43 days before going to 28/9 since.
Keepng fingers crossed for you!

I'm too scared to test! Mainly as not late yet, possibly. Circled the tests in chemist today, but decided that it'd bring AF on to purchase, so held off! Therefore still hope! (There's logic there I promise!)
Now am realising that (sorry Marthamay) it is possible that AF is not at all steady and due to variations in hormones, cycle gone longer again.
Oh well. Exhausted!

Martha - glad I'm not the only one to feel like a brain-dead zombie on occasion! Feel sure other mothers think I'm just a moron!! Certainly worth it though.

Yank - you would be a bloody saint not to be bothered by in-laws antics in my opinion. Am sure I'd be bothered if they were complete stangers!
I'm very sorry to hear about your mIscarriage. (SIL sounds like thoughtless old so-and-so.)

Would be interesting if anyone out there has knowledge of comings and goings of AF whilst bf-ing...

Just found this on a random Google. Might have some useful info/links for some-

forums.ivillage.com/t5/Helpful-Articles-Links-Info/TTC-WHILE-BREASTFEEDING-FACT-SHEET/m-p/64869248

Inuk - that's the one I was talking about - it was such a lovely spot! We lived in Kitsilano for a few years so I know it well too.
Yank - yup DS was born August 19 - however I never joined the August bus, as his first DD was July 31st, then they moved my dates at the 12 week scan (incorrectly I think) back to August 16. Personally I think they were wrong and he was massively overdue. He ended up being huge 9lb 6oz, 55cm tall (!) and totally overcooked - with peeling skin on his hands and feet. Oh yes and well and truly stuck after a 19 hour labour so was hauled out through the sunroof. The wonders of scanning technology.

Great article Melody. I've decided to start watching my mucus. Ik. :o

Thanks for the link Melody! Great reading.
Still no AF for me....
Yes, mucus-watching is lovely isn't it . I need to stop myself from talking about it to DH!!!!!!

Ditto!
Still no AF here either...keep telling myself not to get excited - was never v regular before, so why should I be now.
Have named my mucus watch WWI (wiping with intent!)

Thanks for the link! I stumbled across it a while back just after my periods returned, but have now had a 'closer' read, given that I'm now a bit more "damnit, I wanna be pregnant now" rather than just 'seeing what happens'...!

I don't just WWI... I have a GOFWI... good ol' furtle with intent (it's fascinating what your cervix can tell you!) :o

It does seem like cycle lengths can be super-erratic whilst bf... it's so frustrating, isn't it? :(

Ha ha:o

Thanks for bringing me back down to earth. I think -
Am getting v hopeful and told DP no AF yet and he just laughed. I said he didn't believe it could happen already and he said I was so hopeful! Then he pointed out that AF had been erratic before :(

Think I need to get with the charting programme. Have much to learn from you all!

will have a read of that once i'm on a pc not a phone.
Still no af here :( have been cramping though which i'm hoping is a sign as I have day weaned ds apart from his nap feed. I'm also glad i'm not the only one still feeding at night.

Poppet, my DS was born August 24, also out the sunroof! But his due date was August 25 so he wasn't 'overcooked' (love that phrase in relation to overdue babies!).

at 'wiping with intent'

Hi all, can I join you?
Bit of stats: DD 20mo, TTC#2 1 cycle

I am not breastfeeding anymore as I weaned my DD two months ago when she was 18 mo, but we still have many things in common :). We started TTC in January, so only 1 cycle so far. Unfortunately, not pregnant yet. Actually we sort of tried in Dec as well, but not really tried to hit my fertile days. But the next cycle we were really doing our homework properly, but no BFP so far :( I know it's to early, but with DD we conceived the first month we tried, so for some reason I figured it would be the same this time around.

I got my period 4 months post partum (even htough I EBF for 6 months), but at the time I was just not ready for another pregnancy. At the beginning my lutheal phase was very short 7-8 days which was due to breastfeeding I believe. I know it was not long enough to sustain a pregnancy. Now my lutheal phase is 12-13 days long which is enough I guess. Oh, and I can tell when my ovulation is as I have this typical pain in my ovary. But the thing is that weaning actually changed my period more than pregnancy did - the first period after weaning DD lasted for 8-9 days and finished off with pink spotting which is something that has never happened before. Anyone with the same experience? And my ovulation indicators are not same anymore - instead of one day of sharp pain in my ovaries, now I have 2 days of light pain followed by one day with sharp pain. So my guess is that the first 2 days are due to egg poking out and the the third is when it actually starts the journey and ovulation begins. Not sure if I am right, though.

Now that it didn't happen the first time around, I am trying not to get into TTC frenzy and to take it easy (easier said than done).

hi buba
I think each pregnancy is different. I fell preg the the 1st cycle with dd 2nd with ds1 and wasn't really trying with ds2. However bf has meant we have been ttc for 13 months with no luck for dc4 . As for changing periods sorry i'm not much help as only had a couple in the last 7 years
Welcome to the thread!

HI buba, welcome and good luck to you.It is def easier said than done to take it easy when TTC!!! I thought that too just a couple of cycles back and I'm still trying hard not to let it dominate my life!

Well, for me AF hasn't arrived still which would mean that I am CD41. Either a crazy long anovulatory cycle or I am indeed up the duff.
Haven't tested again this week but the temptation is growing by the second. I am going to do a bit of shopping this afternoon and I just don't know if I'll be able to resist. I'm tempted to try one of the expensive more sensitive ones....
any recommendations?

I have also been feeling bone tired and a bit queasy, a feeling I remember from DS1 preg. Although this does coincide with me going cold turkey on the caffeine so....could also be that?

oh dear, got to stop obsessing.

oooh yes! Forgot to say... I managed not to night feed between 11 and 6 last night!!!!! YAY! DS was mighty P-Off at about 3am, but after 1/2 an hour of rocking and pacing went back to sleep. It was SO hard not to just go for the easy option....I feel good about it this morning though.

Hello. I've missed loads again!

Hi to inukshuk and Buba, welcome!

I am not sure what to comment on first Sorry if I miss anything out.

Buba I can relate. We conceived DD first time around, despite being irregular and being told I had PCOS. I feel so lucky it happened so quickly with #1 but now for TTC#2 it was hard to get AF when we didn't conceive last month. Now in cycle 2 of trying, and I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. Had a BFN this morning, its only 11DPO and AF due Sunday - but I just don't feel pregnant at all so I think its definitely a negative for this month. especially as we gave it a good go this month.

Can't say about periods changing after weaning, as I've only night weaned, not totally weaned. My second period was long at 9 days though.

melody charting gives you so much insight into your cycle and it definitely helped us conceive #1 quickly. But it also helps the obsession!! So it had its pros and cons!

Yank My SIL is pregnant again (they had their first a few months after us). I really want to be pg again by the time theirs is born (August). Its hard when family are in a similar position to you not to compare etc. SIL does sound very insensitive!

marthamay great news on the night feed front. So nice to get that stretch of sleep. It will be worth it. I know just what you mean about the easy option. Which makes me think do I really want to get pg again and at least another yr of sleepless nights?!! Well yes... I do!

Now replying to the things that were on the previous age that I missed!

Poppet yay for AF! Now didn't think that was a phrase I'd ever say Maybe DS sleeping through some nights has kickstarted it.

inuk my first cycles I didn't chart so I don't know if I did ovulate, or anything like that. But they were shorter than they are now, so luteal phase could have lengthened (it was 13 days last cycle, with 33 day cycle, but one previous cycle had been as short as 23 days. I'm not sure if it was a short luteal phase or anovulatory. My cycles pre DD were around 35 days with ov at 21 ish days, and it seems to be settling to that again now, after 6-7 months of AF). Do you know you definitely ovulated with your temps? I was going to suggest agnus castus so good luck with it!

Oooh marthamay - exciting times! Fingers crossed the long cycle is for all the right reasons. :)

IslandIsla - reassuring to read your post and hear that your cycles have lengthened (hopefully meaning LP lengthened). I've definitely ovulated each cycle - although temps are a bit erratic due to night waking, they definite shifted higher and tallying up with OPKs and CM = ovulation. Last 3 luteal phases have been 4 days, 4 days and 5 days... been taking agnus castus 1st half of the cycle this and previous cycle, and started on B6 (B complex) this cycle so we'll see if that makes a difference. CD22 today... no ovulation yet but I reckon it's close...

Hi buba and welcome (from another recently-joined-newbie, in my 5th cycle of trying) - yes, staying chilled is a good plan although you're right - easier said than done! We can but try....!

Welcome Buba. Yes it's extremely hard to remain chilled.
We're only on our first official cycle ttc but think about it ALOT.

As for the charting Isla - I'm duly warned and will enter at my own risk!! Do I want to obsess more? No! But I do want a bfp.

Martha - exciting...?
I'm not sure what to say. I've been reading various threads of women with late af and -hpt, saying 'am I P? What's going on? I feel so P!'. So I'm trying not to get excited myself.
Am cd30 I think. And I guess no reason why af not going slightly longer this month. Was always more likely to be over 30 than under before. So probably settling into regular pattern.

But with each day I get ever more hopeful. DESPITE aforementioned research!
I did buy the cheapest hpt I could get in chemist yesterday. Not taken yet.
So I've no recommendations on the pricier front. Though I have promised myself the one that tells you how far along you are if the cheapo one is + ! Hope springs eternal.

I do feel exhausted. But often do am sure with constant broken nights. Am also having twinges down below, which I had with ds. But would my uterus need to stretch like first time? And already?

I know how powerful my wishful thinking can be. Though (cynical it could happen so soon) dp now seems on board and came home yesterday asking 'has it come yet?' (af)

Please let us know what happens if you test again anyway.

Also any tips on nightweaning before day weaning gratefully received. Very impressed!

Ok. So yesterday I read a thread where woman after woman were getting neg hpt but had signs etc etc but no actual positive hpt.
Today I've managed to google pretty much the reverse result with the same input!
Woman after woman saying their hpt came back neg but after weeks and more tests or blood tests, turns out they are infact P. So I guess the moral of the story is anything is possible!
Or, you'll find anything and everything and all permutations on the Internet. All grist to the obsession mill

All hopeful Martha!

Nothing to report here - like Queen Fee am still waiting for AF. DS 15 and a half months and counting...Are we the only ones? I have lost track with all the news and newbys :)

Loving Poppet's return of AF post, though slightly

Yes, charting is so useful yet also easy to get rather obsessed about. I've charted for several years (when not pregnant) and many a time I've found myself searching fertilityfriend.com for 'charts like mine' and seeing how many of them result in pregnancy...!

However, I do love the 'security' of knowing when I've ovulated as it means I know when it's 'ok' to test, rather than getting my hopes up that I'm pregnant when it's just late ovulation resulting in a long cycle. Obviously with my 5 day LP at present I haven't had a chance even to test 'early' as my period's arrived so quickly after ovulation!