TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Hello everyone! Hope you don't mind me bumbling back in again....
I was on this thread at the beginning of the year ttc from when my son was about 8months old. It took us about three cycles of ttc to get a BFP. Unfortunately when I went in for my 12 week scan they couldn't find a HB and pretty sure the pregnancy ended at about 10 weeks.
I don't think it had anything to do with me still BF my son (3/4 times a day 2x at night at that point) but perhaps I was a little depleted and tired as a result of BF and my body not quite strong enough....of course I know there could be many reasons why it didn't continue.
So it's taken me a while to get my head around but now I am on my first full cycle after the mc and really, really desperate now to be up the duff again.

I'm still BF my son (14 months) but now it's down to once in the morning and once at night, only sometimes in the day or when he has teething problems at night.

Although I love BF I'm still glad that it's wound down quite a bit.

When I get a chance I'll read back through the last pages to see who is about and what you are all up to. I'm so sorry to come back here with bad news - but this still feels like the place for me to be. I really hope it doesn't make anyone feel disheartened.

I'm looking forward to trying again.

Hi Martha. Welcome back. So sorry to hear about your news. And good luck for this time.

A BFN for me this morning. Will keep an eye out for AF or keep testing.

Will keep you updated.

X

hi martha, remember me?! so sorry to see you back but welcome back! hope it happens for you very soon.

duke I hate BFNs.

Mackrel it is so tempting to think in terms of age gaps, I know, because I do it, and I really try not to! Think of it this way, whatever the age gap, it will be your family. Whatever gap you have, you will probably think 'actually, I couldn't imagine it any other way!'. Bit of a sidetrack but, I have two brothers, one is 2 yrs younger, the other 10 yrs younger. I'm equally close to both of them, and even though there is a large age gap to my littlest brother, it doesn't matter, we get on really well, he comes to stay often and adores his little niece! I couldn't imagine it any other way!! I guess I'm trying to say, don't get hung up on age gaps, it will happen when it happens and life will fit around that.

I'm doing the thinking about age gaps as well. I would like a good number of children quite close together and am trying not to resent breastfeeding for possibly holding that back. I just try to remind myself that it is in God's hands and that I am doing the best thing for my current children (albeit being just DS) at the moment.

Sorry to hear that, duke. I hope that AF appears soon so you can get going again, or that (much better) you report back a BFP!

hi martha, I'm new here since you were last here but I was reading back then so feel I 'know' you a little already. So sorry to hear your news.

isla - thanks; that is so right and actuall I was thinking last night that ive always felt closer in age to the sister who is 3yrs younger to me than the one who is 2y3m older!

Not another one

I'm so sorry to hear about your mc martha. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your next bfp.

The dr appt yesterday was inconclusive and I am feeling . She couldn't see any developing follicles, but she could barely get an image of one ovary, so who knows. She said I could be having an anovulatory cycle or it might just be too early. I have another appt tomorrow, but I'm not hopeful she will see anything. I've been checking cm and cp (cervical position) and there was definitely something happening up to the weekend, but now it seems to have reversed.

The age gap thing is really hard, isn't it? I keep telling myself it will be easier to deal with a new baby the older DD gets. It's just so hard to stop working out when a baby would be due if I got pg now...

Hi
Just popping back to wish Martha the best of luck :)

Sleeves were you on the july 09 thread I recognise you from somewhere!?

martha, I must have missed your post earlier. That sounds hard. Hope things happen soon for you.

silken, hope today's appointment goes better.

Queen, are you keeping well?

With age gaps, part of it for us is that my DH is a bit older so he doesn't want to be too old when we have later children. Well, we'll keep trying and see what happens.

Hello all,

I'd kinda forgotten about this thread as it dropped off my actives by the time I finally O'd. But O I did. Currently 5dpo.

THank you all for your condolences. Truly awful time that is still very much present in my day to day life, if I'm honest, but actively ttc again gives me something positive to focus on (and I mean 'important' positive rather than frivilous - a holiday to Greece in May didn't seem to hold my good thouhts for long).

silken that sounds frustrating! Really hope you get some answers soon.

duke sorry about the bfn - when is af due? COuld be too early? Or late O? Hoping it's one of those

martha So sorry for your loss. Hope it's good news for both of us really soon!

Even more today. The dr found something today which she said could be a follicle. It was nearly 2cm, so shortly before ovulation. I am going back on Friday and if it's gone then, that means I've ov'd (or she can't find it again ). Anyway, so far so good, but she also said she would expect the lining of the uterus to be much thicker by this point of the cycle. So, presumably no chance of pregnancy this cycle, but will try to swi just in case.

QueeenFee hope you're doing well.

Silken - the mystery deepens!

Well another BFN for me today. Day 42 of cycle, and I think I OVed day 31, so could possibly be too early to test. Or I might not have OVed this cycle as it's the first since DS was born. Who bloody know!?

Is there a way of checking if you have OVed without taking temp (sleep still to erratic for that!) or going to GP (too early for that)?

Thanks, and sending good luck vibes to you all.

duke I don't think there is any other way to tell if you've ov'd. Possibly the cervix is at a different angle, but it takes a couple of months of checking to start to recognise what's going on there. Some previous posters on this thread had a very long first cycle (up to 60 days iirc). Hope you get some answers soon.

I have creamy cm today and my temp hasn't gone up. Back to the dr tomorrow, but I actually think charting is going to give me more answers than she is .

My follicle has grown . It's now 2.5cm, so the dr reckons I should ov today or tomorrow at the latest. My temp nose-dived this morning, so hopefully a pre-ov dip, which I seemed to have last month as well. Just have to get some swi in tonight and I should be on the 2ww tomorrow.

I also asked about the lining being thin, but she said it may not be a problem. I suspect that my lp will still be too short, though, so will not get my hopes up for this month (easier said than done).

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Silken - stop MNing.. and get to it woman!

And the very best of luck!

AF came today (which might explain why my DP is doing my nut in recently!)

So, a 44 day cycle for my first one since DS's birth. I am starting with using a Clear Blue Fertility monitor this cycle, so let's see how we get on.

Hope you ladies are having fun and making babies!

Really sorry to here that duke. Good luck for next month.

did you ov silken?? What did the temps say?

Well I don't really belong here anymore. Unfortunately not because I have a bfp (I wish!!!) but because DD hasn't had a feed for 4 days, and has only had one feed in the last week. I think we are done. She is 2 and a quarter now. I'm not sure the BFing was making much difference to TTC (trying for 7 months now), but I want to see if stopping can help produce that BFP. Maybe I am one of those women who can't get pregnant while feeding. DD has taken to the weaning process really easily - from being a total milk monster who couldn't get enough six months ago, I never would have thought I would have weaned her now. I'm a little bit sad about it, but my girl is growing up!

Good luck everyone, I will keep checking up to see how you are all doing, and I'll let you know if I get good news too!

Do keep checking in isla - we'll want to know how you're doing and esp if there's a bfp! Hopefully weaning will do the trick.

Good luck for this next month then duke - hopefully af will settle into a more normal pattern now it's got the first go out of the way. my dp has been doing my head in too but suspect that is more to do with his work stress than an imminent 1st AF for me...

And good luck silken- do you know if you've ovd yet? And are there more tests to see what is happening?

Heard today that a girl from my antenatal class is 6mo pg - so a 15mo gap. Actually not envious in the slightest - 15mo wld have been too close for me I think - been a lovely year fully w dd; don't think I would have wanted to be doing my morning sickness halfway through that.

Manda, hope things are going well with you.

Silken, hope you had a busy weekend.

Duke, have you tried any of the OPKs? Admittedly with a long cycle it might be an expensive option, but might reassure you that you are ovulating? Ah, yes, just read down and see that you are.

Island, well done on feeding your DD for over 2 years. That is a real achievement! Do come back and tell us how things are going.

Mackrel, a friend of mine recently told me she was pregnant again with a 15mo gap - except it is twins!

As for me, in a fit of panic about whether I was ovulating or not, I bought an OPK from the supermarket today. I am on day 15 of my cycle so I am not sure if I should have done it, but did the urine test which showed an LH surge. Hopefully that means that I am just ovulating a little later than I would have expected and will just look forward to my DH coming home tonight!

Hi all, can i join in? I've read a few of the last posts and empathise with Bartlet forAmerica and Mackeralmint in that i can't stop thinking about age gaps but not a clue how long it will take. Anyone who can give me any useful info would be appreciated as really not a clue about how things work!

My situation is i have an 8 month old DS, EBF and then started weaning onto solids at 5 months. He now has 4 meals a day plus a light supper as trying to improve his sleeping and was told supper might work. (he used to sleep through 11 hours solid at night from 6 weeks of age, but lately he has been waking erratically anytime between 1am-5am and we haven't a clue why). His typical day is a milk feed about 5am, solid breakfast around 7am, a milk feed about 9am, dinner about 12pm, milk feed at 2pm, tea at 4.30pm, supper at 6ish and milk feed at 7pm. Sometimes he doesn't have the 5am feed, sometimes he will wake up at 6.30 in which case he just has his breakfast (we have started giving him water if he wakes at 2/3/4am instead of BF and it's these nights where he will then wake at 6.30). So we are doing 3 or 4 feeds a day, and usually a 10 hour gap overnight.

I haven't had a period since i had DS. I am 35 this year, and want 4 children so cannot afford to leave a big age gap between them, but don't really want to stop BF either, and don't want to end up resenting BF for not getting a BFP. I have no idea re ovulation, i was on pill before DS, stopped taking it and then first time of doing the deed, DS was on the way. So didn't have any worries about conception, and finding it hard not knowing when my body might be ready to get going again. Any input would be appreciated as to what i should do, what is reasonable to expect re when next BFP might realistically have a chance of happening? Would be good to chat to people who are going through the same thing or who've been there and know more about it than me! People in RL would think i'm mad to be even thinking about a DC2 so can't really talk to anyone about it...

(sorry that should read 3 meals a day plus a light supper!!)

Wrote long post and it disappeared when I went to find a link for loooopy. Will try again tomorrow. Night all.

Back to try again.

duke sorry to hear about af, but good luck for next cycle.

isla I may be writing the same post soon. I was out four evenings this week, so dd didn't get a chance to feed and she only fed for less than 30 secs each side on the other nights. I'm not going to refuse if she asks for it, but I doubt there's much milk there now.

I'm still not convinced I have ov'd. I had stretchy cm the last four days and now it's gone creamy again (sorry if tmi). Temp is maybe up since yesterday, but not unmistakeably. Mackrel the dr offered me more follicle scans in Aug if I want, but as far as this cycle goes that's it. If they see a follicle measuring 2 cm or more, then that's proof of ov .

Welcome loooopy. Good places to look for info are Kellymom (bf and fertility) and Fertility Friend (how to recognise fertile signs). Forgive me if I don't link.

On average women who bf unrestrictedly get af after 14 months. It's impossible, though, to predict how it will be for any one woman. Going long stretches between feeds, especially overnight is good.

You can monitor your cervical mucus (vaginal discharge) to see when you start to become fertile again. In the days leading up to ov there is much more cm and it becomes clear and stretchy like egg white, hence the term ewcm. If you ov then you will get af unless the egg is fertilized. Some women manage to get pg before the first af, but this is rare (although it has happened on this thread).

HTH

well silken I find CM doesn't totally dry up after ov, it goes creamy-eggwhite-creamy, so its really tricky to work out when ov actually is. I worked this out after using ov tests.

hi loopy the sites silken suggests are worth looking at. Unfortunately noone can tell you what will happen to you. I had a friend who exclusively BF til 6 months, did night feeds until at least 1 yr and carried on feeding til 18 months overall, and she had her cycles back at 6 weeks. I followed a similar pattern with BFing but my cycles didn't come back unti 15 months!

And so the reason I really poked my head back in.... I got a faint BFP today!!! Had been a bit suspicious as have been a bit crampy, and huge boobs! Couldn't stand it any longer and tested. eeeek!

Wow, island, congratulations! That was speedy!

I have never read so much about CM in my life. Not quite ready to dive in to this part of the TTC world quite yet!