TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Hey, massive congratulations, isla .

I may try opks next cycle, or maybe even later this one . They're really expensive in the shops here though.

Congrats Isla!
Re cm I definately had loads more leading up to 1st af and then next cycle which was bfp! So definately think it's a good indicator :)
Good luck to the rest of you this month, you still come up in my active list so I lurk a bit!

too tired from reading this thread for AGES but I'd like to join in.... TTC #2 while BF, and no joy so far, though not been trying that long, but ....
anyway, will continue another day and am crossing everythign with no good reason at all, in any way....

Hi, z123. Hope you recover from the thread-reading soon so you can get on with ttc! Good luck.

AF here. Well, obviously not a real one. I assume I didn't ov and am now having an oestrogen withdrawal bleed.

Sorry bartlet for going on about cm so much! I just wish I'd known about it before I decided to have a shot of depo.

silkenladder- sorry to be so dim but what's AF? I presume a period??

Reading this thread is very informative but also slightly scary as I realise I have no idea about lots of things... like CM- I seriously doubt my ability to differentiate with any degree of certainty and predict when I'm ovulating... My DH helpfully says all we need to do is DTD which I would have probably agreed with before this, but without regular periods, no idea if I'm ov despite only feeding my LO morning, bedtime and if she wakes up, I'm having the horrible, horrible realisation it is likely to not be as easy as that!!!!! doh...

It is lovely to have a thread like this though with graduates who have suceeded! I am worried about struggling to concieve, and similar to Looopy, I don't want a big age gap. Will check the fertility friend and kellymom web sites

oh- crying little one, must attend and finish later...

wow, faster settling than usual!

my lo is 10 months old, BF am and pm and in night if wakes, have had one period after I suddenly stopped BF in day (her choice- she messed around and came on and off me sooooo much and hardly had any milk anyway so I stopped offering my poor cracked nipples and she's never seemed to miss it sadly). Nothing since, but only been just over a month. and been TTC properly for 3 months. I am so keen to have another lo and am now really worried I'm not ovulating and i won't be able to concieve... got a horrible feeling i'll be one of those women who can't while BF (only because i want to be pg so much i guess so far...)

but v glad of any support/advice!

hello again - returning to this thread after a week away. I wrote a long post but the phone died and swallowed it! Grrrr...

Anyway, v excited about your bfp isla!!! fantastic news. How are things going?

Hi and good luck to loooopy and z123!

I am feeling quite chipper as finally got first af, just shy of 12 months. Not the best timing - we'd just arrived at fancy hotel for holiday/anniversary celebrations w dp's family. Totally unexpected so had to run to hotel shop in search of tampons etc and say goodbye to any hopes of dtd in plush hotel bed...

Anyway, glad that I can finally start ttc proper.

hello, can I join too please?
DD is just coming up to 8 months and still having about 8 feeds a day, but with just one over night. I'm about to have my mirena taken out, whch will probably get me a lecture from the docs, but I had really intended to leave it in for a year or more when I got it - only DD growing up so fast and is so much fun I don't want to wait.

My main worry really is that DD is still in with us, and she cosleeps from about 3 or 4am when she has her night feed. This is not exactly conducive to romance! I'm back at work 4 days and have a second job I have to do varying amounts for, so when I do get free time it generally involves cleaning or sleeping - I think I might need a change in attitude to make this work!

Welcome, goldrill.

Don't know about anyone else, but we don't do a lot of romancing between 3-4am! Since having our DS, whether TTC or not, we've just tried to be creative about when and where. Grab free time when you can! What time does she go to bed? Time before dinner? First thing? You don't need to answer, but just things to think about.

Thanks Mackrel! I worked out I'm five weeks today, so very very early days. Really I feel normal, although I've had some cramping. Yesterday I wondered if AF was coming! But it didn't. I do remember the same thing happening throughout the first trimester with DD so trying not to panic. Hopefully, when I get to 6/7 weeks I'll start trying to make appointments. Trying not to think about it so the time doesn't drag by! I became pregnant with DD exactly 3 years ago, so I'm hoping I will have the 3 yr gap I had my eye on!

I remember my first AF after DD - took me completely by surprise too! I managed 2 yrs without AF (excluding PP bleeding of course) so it was a bit of a shock!

welcome to z and goldrill I agree with Bartlet's advice on romance DD (2.4 yrs) is still in bed with us occasionally (if she's feeling under the weather for example) but never from the beginning of the evening!

I think anyone doing any romancing between 3-4am with a baby/toddler in the family deserves a medal!!!!!

getting psyched up to start learning about cm... i think! must put some (more) effort into TTC! as well as dtd of course, which is the obvious starting point Dying to have another af to reassure me i hope i'm ov and getting back to normal... or, even better, start feeling sick and get a bfp!!!!

Hi goldrill and good luck. I sympathise re difficulty romancing! I also tend to co-sleep w dd from whenever she wakes for feed, although she's in her own room, not ours. At least now she tends to wake between midnight and 3. She used to wake nearly every night around 10 and although I fed and came back to bed then without fail dp would be asleep by the time I got back.

Our main problem is just being out of the habit - we probably only had sex 3 or 4 times the whole time I was pg and about the same since dd, who is nearly 1. We keep talking about making more of an effort, going to bed earlier etc but we haven't managed to sort it yet. I know the more we do it the more we'll feel like it, but at the moment we both alwways just want to sleep! (and there's not many alternatives to bedtime - wooden floors and a v uncomfortable sofa downstairs and we don't get any time to ourselves at weekends)

hopefully, now it looks like my fertility is returning that will spur us into action, but I fear it's going to be quite an effort!

not that I'm even slightly pg to offer advice, but...

we were also struggling to get enough SWI in to even have a chance of conception, we eventually figured out it was because we were just too tired by the time we went to bed. so instead of when we go to bed, we just went and dtd sometimes as soon as DS was asleep. we could then relax for the evening without the pressure of trying to stay awake for SWI later!

this month i am trying not charting so we went for every 2nd day after AF. my libido has been rubbish since DS was born really, but getting back into the habit has helped a bit.

good luck ladies. :)

DS now back to just morning and naptime feeds again now, he's settling ok at bedtime. he sometimes has a wee bit of cow's milk then instead but doesn't seem too bothered. (he's 22 months now)

hi goldrill and z123. :)
(and anyone else i missed while i was hiding from FF and mumsnet! )

thanks for hellos! mackerelmint we are/were in v similar situation all round I think: we have turned the spare room which used to have double bed, into DD's room and no bed, which leave a dog-hair strewn floor or the sofa - not appealling options when you're having to make an effort to start off with!

I think I'm going to try getting DD to start her night in her own room in a travel cot, then come back into ours for the bedtime feed. DP will be over the moon - but more because his computer's in our room and he will be able to spend all evening playing games again no doubt!

Thanks for the hellos!

Also in similar situation where v hard to get enough SWI in.... my DP reckons should do it every other day until I concieve (the thought!!!!!!) but my libido has never recovered from childbirth and a grade 3 tear which was sore until about 2 months ago (DD 10 months now), plus there's finding the time and energy... Agree any time possible- morning nap, when DD would have it in her cot as opposed to being walked in her pushchair- used to be an option but shes back to the old 'sleeping in cots in the day is for wusses'... doh

jaggythistle i like your every 2 days after AF idea, we were doing similar ish but then it'd have been 4 or 5 days and then i lost heart, thought i'd missed the right time and gave up... and no AF since (but that was my first since having DD and she's upped her feeding again too from the drop that seemed to trigger it). I think just having a plan will help motivate me to leap on poor DP (who will undoubtedly be thrilled at the recovery from 'the Drought' post tear!!!).

I read somewhere that lubricant can kill sperm.... is this true??? crisis if so, its the only thing that makes me think it won't hurt!!!!! tmi....

don't worry! you can get sperm friendly goo. :)

I've tried pre-seed and i have heard good reviews of conceive plus too. the fun things you never thought of eh!

you're right though, ordinary lubricant can be the wrong pH/consistency/etc for swimmers to survive well.

after 10 months i could actually do with ordering more. in my defence it is quite a small tube.

jaggy oh how i'm chuckling over that one!!! (like its any different from my situation, i was too damn sore until about 7 months after my DD.... ). will get on t'internet and google your sperm-frinedly suggestions right now. KY no good then?

a brief chuckle though- AF yesterday, after 33 days for my first cycle since DD, and despite all my postulating, yes, i had been hoping for a BFP (though, incidentally, I have no idea what AF could stand for?!) Plus, its bloody AWFUL- went through 2 sets of pj's overnight, if i didn't get up every 3 hours.tmi i know, but somebody please tell me my periods will settle down and not be quite so heavy?! I suffered before but this is truly ridiculous- before there was no way i had to get up TWICE in the night to sort myself out!!!!!

Still, telling myself maybe this month, preparing for loads of SWI (DP, you won't know whats hit you... no, really!)

so good luck to everyone for this month!!!!!

Hi all and welcome to newbies.

I am on day 11 and using the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor and have had a 'high' for 4 days so far. Apparently it can take a couple of months to get used to your cycles. I'm not quite sure what I'll do if I get a 'peak' when DP is not around!

I'll update you if anything else happens here. In the meantime, good luck to all.

duke summon him!! are the monitors expensive? Good luck!

Think the monitor was about £50 on Amazon, but 20 sticks cost £20! Eek!

Do you reckon I should be honest about my intentions (he knows i am using the clearblue monitor) or just suggest that I reeeeeeallly miss him and just have to see him straight away!

He works 2 hours away 6 days a week so I usually see him once a week - but a mid week visit isn't out of the question - in case you were wondering!

I'm with jaggythistle. We often go straight to bed when my DS is down for his nap or down for the night. Might as well DTD while we have energy!

I think there is a lot to be said for just getting on with it, no matter what your mood. We certainly find that the longer we leave things, it gets easier just to leave it longer, but if we work at DTD regularly, then our desire for it ups as well.

duke, that sounds hard not seeing your DP much. Sounds like a midweek visit is very much in order!

As for us, AF due yesterday by pre-preg cycle, but based on the two cycles since, AF could be due Wed-Thurs. Some cramping here so trying just to ignore things!

duke I reckon a bit of both... say you reeealllllllly miss him... plus maybe slip in the monitor says 'go' at the end. That's if you think he'd be miffed at being 'lured' home for SWI by a clearblue monitor anyway.... If he wouldn't mind why he'd been summoned so long as he gets to DTD and you missed him (and i'm sure you do anyway), it doesn't matter how you persuade him

Bartlet, I will cross my fingers for you, cramping is so inconclusive, i will be hoping it is not AF but a lurking BFP!
And I must go with getting on it, regardless of mood. This month, i absolutely will- every 2 days minumum from after this AF....!!!!!!!!!

dammit - we are being thwarted at every turn! DD has a long nap exactly 2 hours after she wakes up every single day without fail. But today, as mummy and daddy were quite keen to resume their lie-in a deux, oh no, no naps here, naps are for wimps. At 10am I gave up and headed for the shower in a huff.
We get back from a lovely day out with the intention of making an effort, getting the spare duvet down from the loft to create a small but useful patch of comfiness in my office - quite looking forward to this! Phone rings and DP is called away on flood duty. It hasn't rained today! How can anywhere be flooding!!!

We haven't DTD in quite some time and it hasn't bothered me. But am now properly narked at having missed out twice in one day! Who knew pre-baby that getting a shag could be this difficult....

and goldrill, i hope you've managed to hang up your marigolds a bit . i feel your pain, without being back at work my house is a mess... i used to be houseproud and oh how standards have slipped. How bad is it that I sometimes find it difficult to decide to DTD while DD naps rather than crack on with some housework?!

goldrill, i feel your pain. I have also had the 'failsafe' nap fail at an inopportune moment. I think they KNOW. I don't know how, but oh come on, its not like we're all dying to leap on our DH/DP every nap time (well, i'm not, too much laundry in my house for that