TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Manda, we've not met so hello. That sounds really hard - hoping this time it all works out for you.

Mackrelmint, just looked back to see how old your DC is because it all sounded very familiar - same as mine. In the last week, he has either become really difficult to settle at night, or has woken up later on and wanted to be awake for a few hours. I had found this while Googling "10 month sleep regression" - does this sound like your LO?

www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/8-9-10-month-old-baby-sleep-regression/

I just realised that by pre-pregnancy pre-breastfeeding dates, AF is due tomorrow. We'll see what happens. If nothing's happened by the end of June, then I'll test.

Manda, I remember you (I'm still here!!). I'm so sorry that your pregnancy ended, and so late on. It must have been a very traumatic time. How are you doing? best of luck in TTC again. How old is DS2?

silken I would be angry too! I think doctors assume most people don't breastfeed enough to provide any contraception (and I suppose, even some exclusive breastfeeders do get pregnant). However its frustrating that it wasn't properly explained to you. When my doctor discussed contraception with me, I said 'condoms, I guess!'. He said, 'I'll see you here again soon then!', with a wink. If only that had turned out to be true. I don't think my doctor is a big fan of contraception, he has 5 children himself!

Do you feel going on the pill for a few months is worth a try? Or would you rather see if it resolves naturally? (I'm not sure which way I'd go with).

Feeds are really reduced here and I think we may be finishing completely soon. DD is 27 months or should I say 2 and a quarter!! and she isn't as interested as she was say 6 months ago. In fact I can hardly believe my milk monster has taken the weaning process so well! 6 months ago she was on 4 feeds a day and couldn't get enough; now she doesn't bat an eyelid if she doesn't have it all day! My baby is growing up!

good luck Bartlet!

Hello BFA and isla

DS2 is a tad over 15 months. He still feeds lots through the night, usually. Although occasionally will have a feed when I go to bed some time between 11 and midnight (we co-sleep and often us getting into bed will disturb him) and then not wae me until 4am (but then will pretty much be on me every hour until we get up about 8) He latches on lots in the day too. He just climbs onto me, starts pulling at my top and shouts 'Ta!' (that's 'ta' as in 'thank you' in baby talk, and not Tataas as I believe some people call norks!). If I ask him if he wants 'Boo boo' (jesus, the baby talk is ridiculous - although I did read somewhere that it's actually good for their development...) and he'll nod or shake his head no. Uh, not often he ever says no...

Since the loss I'm even more attached to feeding him and definitely don't want to force him off, but it is quite draining and was very hard having so little sleep when I was pregnant (and had ms too!).

Manda oh do keep going with the feeding, its so special to have that relationship. I should say we've been slowing weaning (dropping one feed about every month) over a long period (about 4-5 months) for various reasons. Partly to do with TTC, but also just because time was right. I don't think weaning will make much of a difference to me TTC now, but I just think its time for us now. I'm quite sad about it, but it feels like the right time too. When DD was 15 months she was feedling LOADS!! We'd managed to just stop night feeds (we didn't cosleep), but she'd have about six (big!) feeds or so during the day.

Oh, and hey silken (just backread a little) I remember you

All I would say re: going on pill for a couple of months is DON'T! Yes, you'll have a regular bleed, but it's artificially induced and isn't your own body sorting itself, y'know. I think you probably already realise that (now, given you've discovered how horribly depo can screw your system up )

Don't wanna sound like an agnus castus pusher, but I've read plenty of anecdotal evidence (given how wrong experts and doctors can get things I think it's valid...) of it helping women with very irregular or even absent periods. Have you considered giving it a go?

Also massive congrats to queenF

Hi Manda - I'm new since you were last here too. So sorry to hear what you've been through; I can't imagine what it's been like for you. Lots of luck for this time.

Bartlet - thanks for link. Yes, I guess that does kind of make sense; we had a relatively 'normal' night last night though - well DD was asleep before 8 albeit with a bit of extra comforting than usual. And only one nightfeed at 4am - joy!
Oh, and good luck for this month!

DD went til 1.30 before needing a feed today so I feel like things are really starting to slow down (with no guidance from me). All very gradual still though, no big sudden change, so I don't think it'll kickstart AF yet, but hopeful that it won't be too long...

hi again Manda.

really sorry to hear your news. :(

Hey, Manda. Nice to see you again, but so sorry about the circumstances. Discovering you've had a mmc must be truly heartbreaking, plus having to go through an erpc - horrible. Hope you don't have to post on here for too long this time round.

duke, it's quite hard for me to answer your question. I had the depo shot in March last year and decided not to have the next shot, which would have been in June, as we felt ready to start ttc. I didn't feel particularly impatient and assumed my periods would start by Sept. I actually had some spotting in Sept, but then nothing until Nov, when I had a heavier af. Waited until Jan for the next af and since then have been bleeding about every 2 1/2 weeks. Things may be settling down now - I think I just had a 32 day cycle, although I had a light bleed early-mid-cycle. The previous cycle was 26 days, with no bleeding in between, but I didn't bother to chart it, so don't know if I might have ov'd.

Anyway, I don't feel I have been ttc all that time, as I wasn't fertile and didn't have any 2ww to get my hopes up/dashed. I realise that's just my view of what it means to be "ttc", and QF certainly referred to ttc for 15 months without seeing af, but I think waiting for fertility to return while bf (or after depo) is not the same as the hell some people go through cycle after cycle hoping this will be their month. Not that it isn't frustrating for us as well, though.

I have a gynae appt on Tues and will talk to the dr about going on the pill and ask about agnus castus. At the moment, though, I'm not planning on taking either.

Well, day 28 here (usually got a 24 day cycle) and no period, but who knows what is going on with my cycles with breastfeeding? Don't want to get my hopes up.

silkenladder, hope all goes well at the appt tomorrow.

Thanks, Bartlet.

What are you planning to do? Have you got a date when you might poas if AF hasn't arrived, or are you waiting for some pg symptoms? Bet you've got some you're not tellng us about, even if you are trying not to get your hopes up .

I really don't have any symptoms of either AF or pregnancy. Mind you, the last time I was moaning about how I didn't feel pregnant at all, until about 10 weeks in when morning sickness then hyperemesis set in.

I think I'll see how long I can hold out - beginning of July perhaps?

Hi all.

Manda - nice to meet you. Sorry about your news.

I'm on day 32, but this is my first cycle since DS was born and I have no idea how long my cycles are normally. POAS a few days ago and BFN.

I think I had EWCM a few days ago. Do you think that's possible, on day 30 of a cycle? Am so confused by it all!

Good luck to everyone.

good luck Bartlet! How long have you had your cycle back for?

duke perfectly possible - get to it!

Hi all, can I join in too please? We are TTC #3, only recently just really made up our mind that we do actually want one more DC! We currently have 2 beautiful DS's age 3.5 & nearly 2. We have been swithering about TTC DC3 for a while now, only due to financial side of it, but our 2 DS's give us so much pleasure that we both would like one more.

A complication is that DS1 was an ICSI (IVF) baby but DS2 was a natural miracle. DS1 took 5 years to conceive so we have no idea whether DS2 is a complete fluke or whether my body is 'fine' now and can conceive naturally... Luckily we have 7 frozen embryos so if TTC naturally brings no joy then at least we have a 'back up' plan.

I am still BFing DS2 morning and evening and occasionally during the day at home. He has no signs of giving up! So that's another complicating factor.

We BD'd last week, making this the first cycle that we are properly trying :) I have had tons of EWCM and ov pains and we did it twice on the day of the ov pain (day after the EWCM) so fingers crossed! So I think I am roughly 5dpo ish.... Good luck to everyone else!

Hello, ILYS. It's nice to see so many new posters on the thread, but I'll cross my fingers for you and hope you'll be leaving us again in 10 days or so!

duke - if you're having a long cycle, then it's likely you would see more than one patch of ewcm. Sometimes the level of oestrogen rises, but it isn't enough for ovulation, so your body has a second (or third, or more) go until it finally ovulates. A graduate of this thread, LifeOfKate, had two patches of ewcm the month she got pg. She reckoned the second patch had been when she ov'd as it made sense date-wise with the bfp and scan results.

The dr appt today was really good. I'd filled in a litte calendar with the dates of af and she agreed with what I'd already been thinking, that my cycle length seems to have improved in the last two months. She then said the next step was to determine whether I ovulate. She said I could take my temp every morning, but that nobody bothers with that any more as it's a pita , or I could have a couple of ovarian scans mid-cycle.

I'm booked in therefore next week for scans on cd13 and cd15. I have to pay for them, but I think it will be worth it for peace of mind.

silken, that's very interesting about the varying oestrogen levels. All the more reason to keep DTD right the way throughout the cycle then, duke.

island, my first AF was last month, so who knows what is going on with my cycle? I don't want to test, because I don't want to see a negative result, but still no signs of anything here.

ILYS, I hope you won't be around here for long. Keep us posted.

Sounds like things are moving in the right direction Silken.

Bartlet - sounds like we are in a similar place. I'm on day 33 of my first cycle since I had my son in January. How old is your LO? I POAS foray and BFN.

Thanks to those that answered my question about EWCM late in the cycle. My other half is away alot of the time. So we can only DTD when he is here (stating the bloody obvious!). We managed 4 times around the last lot of EWCM, so fingers crossed.

Who bloody knows!

Well, I'm not pregnant - AF arrived today.

I will try to see it as a positive sign. Cycle length of 29 days within normal limits (although longer than I am used to) so hopefully I am ovulating and it is just a matter of things happening.

Bartlet Sorry to hear that.

In the midsts of SWI here. Trying to be very relaxed and not think about whether I'm ovulating and just do it every other day to take the pressure off. I'm sort of managing it.

Silken glad you had a good doctor's appt. Good luck with the scans.

I have started reflexology. My friend (who is pregnant!) recommended it and I figured it couldn't hurt to try. For one thing I need to relax and this will hopefully help. I've been finding the monthly rollercoaster really tough. Last month I cried for about 2 days when AF arrived. I'm better now! I really enjoyed the appointment and am going again later this week. Amazing what she could tell me from my feet! Ovulating on the right side this month. Right ovary possible a bit displaced (apparently 'things' can move about post-pregnancy) - but it could be that the ovary was swollen because I'm ovulating - she'll check next time. She couldn't feel any blockages in my tubes which is good. She said reflexology can point to major blockages but wouldn't pick up things like lots of mucus in your tubes so advised me to go to the GP and ask for a lap and dye/HSG. Thought about it and figured it couldn't hurt to go and chat to the GP. Although we've only been actively TTC since December we haven't used contraception since DD was born over 2 years ago (although my periods weren't back until 16 months, and sex was sporadic at best until we started TTC!) so I think I'll go in saying that (but not mention the breastfeeding!)

Also reading a book called 'getting pregnant faster' which is about improving your diet and lifestyle to have a better shot at conceiving. I do alot of the things already, like eating organic, getting exercise, not drinking alcohol etc. I don't know if I can give up white bread and white pasta yet though! So i'm just upping my vitamin supplements and will leave the drastic stuff til I'm really desperate

Sorry to hear that ttc is getting you down, though. Reflexology sounds good. I've been wondering about acupuncture as that is also supposed to be good at balancing hormones. I must find out whether there's a practitioner in the small town where I live.

I've also been trying to eat healthily, but mostly failing. DD is waking in the night, plus work is stressful at the moment. Somehow my good intentions all go to pot late afternoon and I end up eating three times as much chocolate as I plan to.

Sorry about your af, Bartlet. Better luck next cycle!

You know what I meant!!!

I've also thought about acupuncture. I like that with reflexology I can just sit on the couch with my shoes and socks off! I would think about acupuncture though. I'd rather try something non-invasive than take a pill or something else.

Hi all
getting v bored of waiting for Af to start up again now - it's a lot less stress than going through the 2ww every month but I hate just waiting not knowing if it'll be 1 month or 6 or even a year before I can even really start doing something about ttc. I've been trying to make sure I have one gap of at least 8hrs between feeds for the last few days hoping if I keep this up for a while it'll kickstart things...

V tempted to try reflexology as well now you've put that idea in my mind isla - sounds like a good way to get in a bit of recharge time and feel like I might be doing sthg helpful!

Glad your drs appt was positive silken and hope the scans go well.

And hello and good luck ilys!

Hi ladies.

Mackrel - I am exclusively bf and my period started when DS was 5 months old. Nothing in our routine changed to make it happen. Not trying to boast, just trying to give you some hope!

On day 38 now, and no sign of anything yet.

Next week is the end of the 2WW if the last lot of EWCM was ovulation, I will test on Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday because that's when I next see my man and Thursday as that's the day of the week I got BFP with DS.

Not that I am superstitious at all!

Good luck for everyone!

Mackrel sounds very boring waiting for AF. I'm lucky that although my periods weren't back until 16 months I didn't have any broodiness til they came back. I would have been very impatient had I wanted to TTC and didn't have AF (ironically!). Hope it makes an appearance soon. I guess you are doing one night feed if you have one eight hour gap? For me it was a twelve hour gap that got AF going again, and then my periods were really heavy (sign of hormonal imbalance apparently!) until I was down to 2 feeds. As me and duke show - every woman is different!!! hopefully the cycle will be back for you soon.

Reflexology is very relaxing and can tell you some interesting things about your body... I recommend it!

good luck duke!

I think I've ov'd, based on a long patch of EWCM last week and now my boobs are big, which happens to me in the 2WW!

Thanks guys. Yep we're still doing nghtfeed - sometimes just 1 but more often 2 - one around 10pm and one around 2am. Then three or occasionally just 2 in the day.

I think I need to adjust my expectations actually - we were always keen on having close together babies and I've been broody for months but in the end I don't want to wean so I just have to let my body decide when it's ready.

I do that 'what if' thing - if I got my period this month and got pg next it would have April bday, they'd be 22mo and 2 school yrs apart, I'd only be back at work for 7mo etc....

I think I need to start thinking more about having more like a 3yr gap and being back at work for a reasonable length of time and to try to find the positives in that too.

Anyway, can still be excited for you guys. Got my fingers crossed for you duke and isla - good luck!