TTC after a miscarriage - Ready to try again, we can do it this time!!!

[Diddle]

Well I think after all our chatting its about time we had a new thread, as the previous one was very lucky for us, lets hope this one remains just as lucky.

Remember ladies - Our time will come, but our bodies have to be ready, and we are all here to support each other.

For those new people please feel free to check out our Stats thread, to see some info about us and leave you details if you want to.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

well i can't understand why you're not here, where is everyone? i'm watching justine and carrie on mums the word. very weird to see them and know they've set up this website, feel like i know them. how sad

don't think i've ever been along on here

oops alone not along haha silly diddle

diddle- i will be cd23 on the 8th - early to test i know but cycle has been average 26 - and im too excited to wait any longer ;) what cd will you be on the 8th?

peepee- what do you do as your job, nursing or something - it sounds stressful, i used to work in a challenging behaviour unit when i was pregnant with my dd and i went on sick for most of pregnancy as it was blumin dangerous kicked in stomach once which caused a bleed but all was fine and have the most beautiful daughter in the world

slinkstah - i will be cd 37 on the 8th, AF could very well arrive before then, but going on the last 2 months if she's going to come it will be around cd42. e careful with testing early. maddyd did that and got a bfp then tested again and got a bfn and the baby had fertilised which showed the positive but not attached (or something like that) and so vanished again. cd23 of 26, isn't too early though. hope you get your positive

MORNING everyone else.

cd29

OOOh Diddle, how are you feeling? Are you posotive this month? When are you testing?

Good morning everyone.

HK - Sorry to here about your bfn, I'm sure a BFP is round the corner tho.

Peepee - Your boss sounds like an idiot, I'd have clacked him myself and I'm not very violent

Hope everyone is okay and haveing a snazzy time this morning. I'm feeling much better, still abit ill (think i've got a cold coming) but not so sniffly and upset.

SMILE EVERYONE ITS FRIDAY

maddyd - feeling fine thanks, hopes are not up anymore, as we haven't bd now for over a week, so i think my chances are pretyt slim although we did bd when i had ewcm, we'll see, due to test a week tomorrow on the 8th.

Fingers Crossed for you Diddle. I hope you get what you want!

Well, got a BFP last night. Not actually sure how I feel - probably because dh was distinctly underwhelmed. He muttered "That means I'll have to go out and get a job" (he's currently studying full time for the Master of Wine exams, while I earn and extrmely generous salary) and then didn't talk to me for the rest of the night Nor did he give me the usual cuddle in bed

He's gone off this morning this morning early to play golf (this had already been arranged) but when I said "have a nice time" he said, "while I still can" (as in, he won't renew the membership - which is quite expensive - in the New Year).

I'm worried that he is going to resent me for all this.

To be fair, he has always been a bit reluctant about a second kid - felt he was too old to be a dad again, and only agreed in the end to humour me.

So part of me want to be , but at the moment most of me is pretty numb, if not

prettybird - congratulatiosn thats great new well done xxx

oh prettybird - he'll come round, as soon as he sees his little baby or feels it kicking. you should be happy, and pleased, but i understand why you're not in the mood to feel happy.
Yes he does need to get a job, but maybe he coudl get a part time job on a weekend for now to bring in soem extra money. The truth is it takes 2 to tango and if he didn't want to be in thsi position then he shouldn't have gone along with it and humoured you. He needs to take responsibility, Could he defer his course for 12 months? while you have maternity leave and the baby to look after?
Sounds like you need a good ole chat to clear the air and sort things out. maybe you could come to a compromise about some stuff financially. coudl he join a cheaper golf club? and still carry it on

Congratulations PB

I'm sure that is what he wants darling. Maybe it just hasnt sunk in yet. You need to talk to him about it. Make sure everything is okay. Tell him that you're sure you can manage on you salary and the mat leave. Remember you get 95% of your wages still. Tell him he only needs to get a pt job then he can still play golf and study etc. Is it a pt course or full.

You really need to talk to him about it, theres nothing we can do except offer advice and listen. I'm sure its what you both want in the end. Esp. when he sees the little heart beat.

Didn't know you coudl get 95% of your pay, this is what i found out:

Statutory Maternity Pay is worth 90 per cent of your earnings for the first 6 weeks, followed by 20 weeks at £106 (or 90 per cent of your earnings for the full 26 weeks if this is less than £106)

Thnaks for the commnets.

I have done a budget, which shows we can manage comfortably on my salary during maternity leave (I have generous scheme which mainiains half salary after the 90% period). Na dthat is even before you factor in any bonuses that I might be due (I can theoretically get my slaray gain in bonuses), plus the fact that from next August the car will be paid of, but I will continue to get an allowance of £450 (before tax - £270 after tax) towards it, so it will be effectively "free" oney (give or take an MOT or service etc).

The probelm is that dh is positively anal about moeny and savings. However much I reassure him, he worries about "what ifs".

A cheaper golf club is not an option - the ones around Glasgow all have massive long waiting lists - and if you knew where he played (it 's a 40 minute dirve form Glasgow), you'd understand why he wouldn't want to join anywhere else. He suspeneded the membership last year, but can only do that every five years or so - so this year it would be a case of having to give up the memebership.

He has just paid for the next year of the course, so that is not an option. We'd already had the debate about whether he should defer a year, or even repeat first year (it is an extremely tough course) but made the decision that while he had this opportunity to do it full time (while most people are trying to fit it around their day jobs - albeit most of them are already working in the wine trade), he should go for it. But he is really enjoying it.

I'm sure, or rather I hope, he will come around. I'm hoping that he will come back from the golf in a better mood and we can have a chat this evening.

I don't think I'll be albe to sway him from his conviction that he needs to start looking for a job - I just hope that he doesn't end up resenting me. One of the things that we hadn't finished talking about was whether he should invest some of our savings in some career consultancy - I think that's a certainty now.

Here's hoping that between now and the New Year, our Premium Bonds come up with more than the £150 that we usually win each month! (between the three of us, we have quite a lot! )

O maybe it's just my work then. We get 95% of pay for first 6 weeks then £106 (after tax) pw after that.

I'm so hoping I can survive on that! ha ha

Excuse the typos! Amongst others, it should say "my salary again in bonuses".

wow prettybird, what fantastic news.........so exciting and so much more important than money- yes I am an incurable romantic! keep us posted of all developments. i am not testing until the 17th oct and can't wait.. keep your feet up as much as poss and enjoy it!!

ok so money is not the issue. Just schooling & Golf.

Can you afford for him to keep his membership? If not how about he get a weekend job to pay for his membership and you keep the rest of the bills going?

Schooling. Does he learn during weekends/evenings. Can he work during those times to pay for any extras you enjoy?

Believe me he will come round. I went through this with my DB when I first found I was pg (not expected) but as soon as we went for the dating scan (knew I wouldnt have a choice if it was more than 8 wks) he saw heartbeat and melted.

GOOD LUCK WITH CONVO TONIGHT!

prettybird you sound very very organised and like you have a fantastic job. I'm sure he will come round once he gets used to the idea, give him some time.

mumswish - you lucky thing. being self employed i get very little maternity pay and will have to survive on the £106 a wk if i end up pg.

Diddle - I dont earn much so even getting 95% only means I get £170 pw for the first 6 wks then £106 so its not that big a deal. At least DB will be on good money. He can pay for everything

The government help anyway. If I can pay for layabouts to sprout out 15kids (jeremy kyle yesterday) then I'm sure they can help us with 1/2? Sorry REALLY p**d off at the mo when I see people who cant be bothered to work and figure sprouting out a few kids will help.

Ok ranting over (for now)

i agree mumswish its very annoying when people do that, a friend i used to work with did that got pregnant, used the baby to get herself a flat etc, that we are paying for in tax.

Theres a girl on here I noticed who is living with parents and on the way 2 getting 2nd child to have council house.

I mean I know there is benefits to doing it. We will get some of our rent & council tax paid while I'm out of work (planning on taking a couple of years out of work to be with child, apart from pt work) so I can understand why they do it but it still soooo annoying. I'm off to go hit a wall!! ha ha

mumswish - no wall hitting. Think we're all getting very bitter and twisted we need a baby.