TTC for 3 years

[wishingalways]

I have been TTC for 3 years now, i started with my partner at the time with BFN's for 2 years, i am now in a diferent relationship where we are at the point of TTC, he is aware of my failed attempts before him, my ex is having a baby any time now! My new partner (2yrs) has children already so its unlikely its him so that just leaves me! Everyone around me is PG and although im happy for them im devestated for myself. My doc wont do anything until we have been trying for a year (Jan 2011)even though i went two years with my ex because it has to be with one partner. He is ace and is always positive about the situation, i havnt been diagnosed with anything but i know there is something wrong - there has got to be!!

There might not be. There's nothing wrong with me or my partner's fertility but 7 years of TTC have produced one DD, one miscarriage and nothing else. We've had all the tests and two rounds of IVF and nada. Why didn't you go to your doctor after your previous two years of TTC? And how old are you? After mid-thirties, doctors are usually happy to investigate after six months of trying.

That's tough wishingalways - v hard to see an ex getting something you want so much but with someone else.
January 2011 isn't far away now, so only a few more cycles before you can go back and start chasing up tests for you and your partner.
It's hard to accept that there might not be anything 'wrong' - to be on the receiving end of bad luck and bad luck and bad luck month after month can be beyond belief.
Anyway, apart from the not getting pregnant thing - why do you think there might be something wrong? What are your cycles like? Do you chart or use a monitor or do you just have sex all the time?

Thanks Horton thats hopeful, not easy by the sound of it though! I has tests with the ex but as you know it was stressful and things broke down so after the initial blood tests i couldnt go any further! Im 27. Thanks LadybeenKissingSantaClaus, It was hard but i suppose thats life! Each month is heartbreaking, some months i dont get a period and although i try not to i think it might have happened then BFN! Then the next month my period rears its ugly head! My cycles have always been irregular since i came off the pill, i went a whole year after my last "pill period" before i had another. I have all of my dates written down but have been advised that using a chart can become obsessive n that alone can cause to much stress to get caught! The doctor told us to have sex 3 times a week to ensure the swimmers are better quality but we tend to have sex whenever we want it, i dont want our sex life to be just about making a baby !!

WA,

I am really sorry to read of what has happened to you.

If you have irregular cycles this is actually good reason to be referred sooner rather than later (you should not have had to wait a year). I would change GP practice if your GP is unhelpful. That advice given to your by your GP is usually helpful but is unhelpful in your case because of the irregular cycles. Why did the GP do no blood tests?.

Irregular cycles are often caused by hormonal imbalances, in this regard a condition called polycystic ovaries is a common culprit. It may well be the reason why your periods have been irregular post pill. BTW there is no evidence to suggest that the pill is responsible for failure to ovulate but it can mask symptoms of any underlying hormonal problem (this is probably what has happened here).

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers and it is all too easy to be fobbed off. I would ask the GP to make the referral request now.

Thankyou Attila, all of this is a big shock i never expected to be in this position, my sister has had no problems nor did my mum! My GP seemed to be helpful but i have never really spoken to anyone else who has gone through this so its all new news most of the time! I have thought i may have PCOS as my symptoms are similar to what i have read. The GP has done blood tests twice now and both said i was ovulating and things are "normal" - i hate that word!! He told me to wait till Jan, i am just going to wait now as i dont want this stressing me out over xmas but from Jan i will be more knowledgable because of what i have already read and been told on here, i will be able to voice more confidently what i want!!

The more info i have the better really!!

January isn't long to wait (though I know it must seem like it) but I agree with the others, irregular cycles are a good reason for you to be referred more quickly. On the bright side, at 27 you have LOTS of time to conceive - so a few months are annoying to have to wait but won't do any real harm.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you get some answers soon. I know how frustrating it is.

WA

What blood tests were done by the way and on what days?. If the GP did not do the blood test on day 2 of your cycle and compare the level of LH against that of FSH the test result is meaningless.

GP is being very unhelpful here. You will need to be persistant in order to get answers.

Something else worth getting checked would be thyroid function (a simple blood test of TSH and T4) as underactive or overactive thyroids can play havoc with fertility.

Thanks Horton, yes it does seem years away but at least in Jan it has been a year so no more excuses from the doc! Thanks for your kind words and advice! Attila, my blood tests were done on day 21 of my cycle as the doc said that was the best day?? There were lots of things the blood tests tested for and he told me all were normal! I will be sure to ask exactly what was tested for in Jan though and i will also ensure that the ones mentioned to me if not already done will be done. Thanks spilttheteaagain i will ask about this too. Thanks to everyone who is giving advice i am extremely grateful!
I got my period yesterday so another dissapointment however on the plus side this is the third month in a row that i have had one with only a few days difference in the first day! I just hope this is a good sign!

Progesterone solely should be tested on day 21 of your cycle. If LH and FSH were tested also at that time its actually a pointless exercise.

LH and FSH are two very important hormones that kickstart the ovulation process; these should be tested at the beginning of the cycle (e.g around day 2)

You need up to date and accurate test results; anything done over 6 months ago should be discounted.

If the menstrual cycle is still showing more than 4 days of variation from month to month this would be still seen as an irregular cycle.

Attila i didnt know that so thankyou again! The tests were done 3 months ago but i am now going to go back to my doc before Jan to request the LH and FSH test! If only they would take it more seriously!

Once you get referred, they will more than likely want you to get the tests done again, wishing! But I agree, no harm at all in getting them done again now. If you go and ask the doctor for more blood tests, you could point out your irregular cycles and ask if you could have a referral now to cut down the waiting, too.

Also, have a google for fertility blood tests so you know what you're talking about when you go. You could also look up the NICE guidelines for fertility treatment and see what is available in your area so you know what kind of thing you are entitled to ask for.

Horton i will be sure to follow your advice, i have told the doc on many occasions about my irregular periods but he never seemed concerned about this. I am going to see him next week and will be asking for a list of things and will be armed and ready with my info so he cant fob me off!! My only prob now is how i stop the bloody tears, emotional is not the word when it comes to this, i ALWAYS cry no matter how much i try not to! Many many thanks x

Hi wishingalways, I know each month when your period comes is devastating, but try to stay strong.

It took us 2yrs to conceive DS, my cycles ranged from 30-45 days. Are there any other reasons why you think you may be having trouble conceiving?

I had a high BMI and a very stressful job whilst we were ttc. My gp never seemed to take my concerns seriously and basically accused me of not understanding how my cycles worked and trying at the wrong time. We had just about given up hope, we went on holiday and finally managed to conceive.

Stay strong, does your surgery have a female gp you could see?

Oh, poor you, wishing. I always cry when happy/sad/frustrated/angry/frightened so I know how that goes.

I would also second the advice to see someone else if possible. Female GP would be good or if not then whoever else is available at the practice - or perhaps change doctors. It doesn't sound as though your current one is taking you very seriously, which is never a good thing.

Also, if you are a crier, maybe you could take someone with you to help - your partner, your mum, even a good friend? Sometimes when I get emotional I forget all the things I wanted to say.

Hi asouthwoldmummy, I have no idea why its not happenin for me, from Jan i will be sent for the tests so i will no more then. My job is busy but not stressful. I dont think there is a female doc but i will check when i book my appointment. Congrats on your DS!!

Horton, thats exactly what happens then as soon as i have calmed down i remember all the things i wanted to know!! I take my partner and he is amazin and extremely patient but i dont talk to anyone else about this, i did talk to my sister but she is now pregnant so i stopped as i dont want to make her feel anything but happy! im getting nervous about my next appointment though!

previously asouthwoldmummy

Thanks wishingalways. Good luck for your appointment, hope all goes well. Make sure you get a referral for further tests, if your GP isn't taking you seriously it may be something you have to push for, don't back down. I think it's definately a good idea to take someone with you to help fight for what you want.