TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

[nurse47]

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

I'm here - sorry for absence - trying to not think about it all and build my hopes up so staying away from MN but wanted to see how you are all doing.

Yellow, Yellow, Yellow I am so sorry to hear that the news you got yesterday was disappointing especially as I remember (I think) you toying with the decision to get the AMH level done in the first place. I do agree with what a lot of the other ladies are saying in that I think there is a lot of discrepancy as to how the test reflects egg quality. I think a second opinion would definitely be a good idea. I can see how you must feel defeated but it is a new test and I think they used to rely on LH levels only to measure ovarian function. My friend got told she had ovary function of 45 year old when she was 26 so before AMH testing- the NHS let her have 1 attempt at IVF and she has twins now.

I really feel awful for the fact that you have been given this news. I can't say anything to help you feel better but I really want to. You come across as such a lovely positive person and this is unfair.

Please take good care of yourself.

Welcome Brown Sorry you find yourself here

Good news on AF Wombat !0 days late - not too bad - sure hormone just a little messed up form ERPC
Waves to others - got to dash - chinese is here

star I wouldn't have thought they would put down as unauthorized, as it goes against their figures and looks bad on them. We are using the Feb half term and then the week after, DD is at secondary school so I am trying to avoid time off purely for her sake as she will have to catch it up when she gets home .She goes to a posh grammer where the kids all seem to go off to the alps half of winter and they get away with it...Its not so bad for DS as he still in yr5. Will get DH on the voucher thing thanks.....
strawberry we will be there at the same time... small world ey.

kitkey I don't blame you for trying to self preserve, it was really difficult for you what has happened and if you were like me and did the whole TTC bus thing and then due in ..it was really hard. This thread is lovely and tentative :)

yellow I think a second opinion at the gp's would be a good idea, after all it's what we pay our taxes for..... you said you have ruled out IVF, is that for your sanity or other reasons? Would you qualify for a free go? xxxxx

Hope you had a fun night sparkly

brown you are very clever with your linky things, made me chuckle.

WAves to anyone I have missed hope you all have a nice weekend, laters xx

Hi all - hope everyone is doing as ok as they can be with all the stresses this ttc lark brings.....

sparkly - waiting for an update on CDWM when you can - did you rescue the tuille disaster?!

I spent a bit of time looking at the videos on feritiltyfriend.com - see them here and while I thought I knew quite a bit about the ttc business, it helped hearing about it again. So far I've taken my temp twice with the digi thermometer I bought. Fri was fine but then this morning the wretched thing didn't beep at all and I had it shoved in my gob for at least 5 minutes.... might have something to do with the lovely glass of red wine or three I quaffed last night. hmmm..... onwards we chart!

kitkey - hope you enjoyed your Chinese - I meant to add to the previous post that I can understand you wanting to stay away from mn - as wormshuffler says, we are very tentative and hand holding here, and selfishly, it's lovely to hear of positive stories but please don't take this as pressure to post!

Come on sparkly I can't believe you've been keeping us in suspense all weekend. How did it go? Have you spent the weekend in bed with a hangover?

star sorry for my stupid question, i didn't realise you had to ask permission to take your kids on holiday.

kitkey thanks for the support, sorry you're feeling a bit wobbly. That's totally understandable but we're here to hold your hand if you need it.

worm we decided against IVF for sanity's sake. Not sure if we'd get a free go or not but I know someone who has had 4 goes (all self funded) and the amount of appts, injections etc really takes over your life and I just don't want to put us through it.

wombat I was wondering if I should try temping but I am very lazy and don't like the idea of starting everyday thinking about ttc. Also my cycle is very regular and with EWCM I'm pretty sure I know when I ovulate.

I have had an up and down weekend. At times I feel fine and keen to buy a fertility book and read more and drink green tea, acupuncture and whatever advice they have especially the positive visualisations. At other times I feel hopeless and that maybe I should be starting to work towards a more realistic place.

In any case we've agreed to ask the consultant for a full set of results and then to go and see the GP for an NHS referral. Has anyone read any fertility books that they recommend...I was thinking of either 'the fertility plan' or 'taking charge of your own fertility' or 'the fertility bible' they all have good and bad review on amazon.

Hope you've all had a good weekend...having fun and SWI and that's why you haven't had time to post!

Hi all,
Well Friday night's CDWM seemed to go well! I closely monitored all plates, and apart from one person leaving most of her pea puree, and a couple of boring disciplined bods picking at the posset, there was not much left by the end of the night. For info, we go through 6 bottles of wine (between 5 of us), 3 of which happened to be mine Quite tame really but I think I had slightly more than my fair share Twas the nerves that drove me to it!
In other news, swi since Thursday evening, without trying to look as though it is with intent, so subtley trying to angle myself into a tilty position whilst remaining alluring and post-orgasmically glowing. Having an orgasm after DH is not working, I mistakenly had one before and then had to fake the second one because I knew it wasn't going to happen quickly and I was a bit bored and wanted a cup of tea I also felt a bit giggly, picturing myself worm-shuffling across the floor to tend to myself, and had to stifle myself because I've found in the past that laughing can be construed as mildly insulting
I might be completely making this up but this month does not, yet anyway, feel to be the month. Very little ewcm, and it feels again like I am playing at it, pretending to be a grown-up. Bit silly as I'm 37 tomorrow!
Off now to celebrate my birthday eve (I also have a birthday boxing day ), and may indulge in a shandy or two.
Hope everyone is well, howya doing tomato?

Hi yellow , crossed posts! Not read any fertility books, people on MN seem to chat on about someone called, erm, is it Vita? I have Vita Sackville West in my head but think she's a suffragette. Can't search as on the laptop and don't know how to open another window . It's that 'taking charge' one.
That's not v informative is it?
Big hugs x

Just googled Vita Sackville West, she was Virginia Woolf's lesbian lover. I don't expect she has much to say about ewcm and charting......

Think you are still pissed sparkly and not surprised after 3 bottles!!!! Happy birthday for tomorrow :)
Good luck at the docs yellow I don't blame you for being up and down.xxxx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPARKLY - here's to a wonderful day full of sparkly things and wormshuffling (should you feel the urge!) I positively hooted with laughter at the thought of Vita S-W doling out advice on EWCM and then you having to suppress the giggles while DH was performing!

I think the lady you are referring to is Zita West - here's the website - can certainly understand the confusion with Vita S-W (who was also a keen horticulturalist, just in case you were interested ). I think I saw a post here on the Conception board about someone who didn't have a very good experience there which generated a few comments. The one fertility book that seems to be universally supported here on mn is Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility - I believe there is a US and a UK version and the the latest US version is the newest, if you can lay your hands on it. Hope this helps yellow - can understand the up and down-ness entirely and I'm glad to read that you're going to ask for the full set of results. How's your DP doing with all this? Hope he's ok too.

I think I'm beginning to think the same as you re: temping - the last few mornings, I have been half awake at around 4 and started thinking about it and then get more awake and then you're supposed to have at least 3 hours sleep before you take your temp so when we wake properly at around 6.00, I haven't had those 3 hours. This morning I thought I would take it if I woke up at 4, which I did and then I dropped the wretched thing and woke up DH! It's a real faff! Think I will stick with the OPKs and EWCM look-out this month and hope my cycle is back to normal

Waves to all!

Hi again - just doing a quick search here on mn for Zita West and there are loads of topics with her name in it..... one that caught my eye was this one re: egg quality. Yellow - I know you're confused (as we all are I think) about AMH and whether it's about quality or quantity or both and if you are feeling in an up moment and wanting to do something else along with the gree tea etc., there are some interesting views in here. I'm sure you've done loads of searching already so sorry if I'm sending you stuff you already know or sorry if you've logged on here for some fun reading about sparkly's post-coital glowing positions and here I am waving the AMH stuff in front of you..... hope you're doing ok x

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday tingly, happy birthday dear Sparkly, happy birthday to youuuu!!!! :)

Ah jeez......massive typo disrupted my singing....damn the I phone. Tingly??? Haha!!! Xx

Zita West, that's the bird, thanks wombat. Was nearly there! Apparently her vitamins are a right royal rip-off but she has some salient advice. Might be worth a browse yellow.
Couldn't sleep so thought I'd pop on and catch up. Wanted to research whether ewcm was essential for conception, as I don't seem to have any! Not that ttc is taking over or anything
Ooh, can I just clarify that I didn't drink 3 bottles of wine, I meant that my tight-arsed frugal friends didn't bring enough booze with them so they raided my stash! Don't know how it happens on telly but for our CDWM we've brought our own, as we're all a bit skint and them scallops aint cheap! So I was feeling a little churlish about that, but hey ho. Think I probably had a couple of bottles worth though. Seem to be drinking a lot at the moment, the dehydration won't be helping the cause. The idea is to detox from tomorrow, which will be too late for this month but get me on track for next. Famous last words....I'm thinking of charting or temping or something next month, to gain a bit more control, but am afraid of getting too obsessive. DH was saying last night that he is enjoying the swi, because a lot of the time normally we can't be arsed and this gives us an incentive. Tis always enjoyable once you get going!
Anyhoo, have a lovely day everyone x

at 'happy birthday tingly'. I-phone by any chance? I read a thread where someone had meant to say 'get home' and the phone predicted 'gerbils'. Thanks star!

Happy Birthday Sparkly I think it is a very good idea to make the birthday last as long as possible. You are only 37 once! I think a 'birthday week' is entirely reasonable! You were nearly there with the Zita West thing..I'm impressed with the literary references, I'd never heard of the other bird!

Re the wine.....I think it is a bit mean if they only bought 3 bottles between 5 of them. I would always take at least one bottle for me but have been known to take 2 just in case.

your description of 'being bored and wanting a cup of tea' really made me laugh....oh the joys of ttc.......re EWCM get yourself some pre-seed...job done!

wombat thank you for the links/advice/research really very helpful. At the moment my head is all over the place. I kind of wake up with a 'thud' remembering how gloomy the doctor was and so convinced the only chance was donar eggs and he is meant to be a specialist and I think i should try to accept it. But on the other hand DP pointed out that I was pg just 2 months ago...so something worked....and the bits of books I've skimmed through all seem to say that a positive mental attitude and visualisation is very important. But obviously don't want to keep hopes up if there isn't hope iyswim......so I feel very torn. I am going to make and appt to see acupuncturist this Thurs and see what he says.....

DP isn't really mad keen for children, he was only at about 55% so it is much easier for him to be philosophical about it. Also i guess it feels worse for me that it is my problem. I've been staring at my face and i feel like I can feel wrinkles appearing and that I look old. It's depressing.

Anyway........I'm going to go to the library and look at the books they have. And I might splash out and get a book. The 'take charge of your own fertility' does seem v popular on here but 'the fertility plan' I skimmed in Waterstones seemed good. I think some of the advice is contradictory though so could end up even more confused than now! It does seem though that cutting down/out alcohol is universally recommended which would be the hardest thing for me. If I knew it would guarantee success then no problem..it's just that you don't know! grrrr

What did everyone get up to at the weekend?

hi ladies, hope you all ok, sorry for late update, been at a shop opening set up today so early start late finish and am knackered!!!
happy birthday sparkly hope youve had a fab day!
yellow how are you my lovely??

Quick update, me and dh have had no ttc action since the 2nd of jan as the way i look at it we swi for those two weeks every day or other day depaendant on mood and thats all thats needed for that month!!! Its such a bloody chore!!! Lol
poor dh cant last that long, so this weekend that all his wanted to do!!! Bloody men.
Well any way sunsday we went and brought a new rug and he insisted on shagging on the new bloody rug!!! I managed to convince him that he had to save it all up till friday otherwise the sperm content would be reduced!!! The poor bugger only went and fell for it!!! Men are so gullable!!!! He he (evil laugh)

waves to all. X

Yellow hope you're okay. Can definitely recommend TCOYF. As for the drinking, I find this very hard too...

Morning all - hope you're having good starts to your week so far.
mrsb - your antics / non-antics with DH made me laugh - you can tell them anything!

brownb - good to see you on here and yep, I'm with you and yellow on the drinking thing too - this ttc lark can be sooooo stressful that a wee drink now and again is definitely what's needed to keep the sanity levels in check. As my DH often says, everything in moderation, including moderation!

sparkly - what did you get nice for your birfday?

yellow - look away from the mirror! It's almost as bad as Dr Google! I'm just as guilty myself sometimes and have to tear myself away reminding myself that no-one else ever looks at me so up close and for so long so they won't see what I see - easier said than done though! In your counselling work, what have you learned and experienced about PMA and visualisation? have you seen it help others? I can really understand about not wanting to get your hopes up, but your DP has a very valid point re: you being PG just 2 months ago.... sorry if you've already told us, but what are your dates for your next lot of appts, tests etc? (other than accupuncturist this Thurs). Have you had any more interesting responses from the lovely ladies on other threads? I see you had a lovely welcome from the recurrent mc board. Hope you're doing ok.

Nothing much to update from this end - AF should be ending tomorrow. Poor DH is desperate as due to thrush then AF, he hasn't seen any action for almost 3 weeks. He sent a text this morning requesting 5am action tomorrow - highly unlikely methinks especially as I'm out with girlfriends tonight at a ladies night that offers 3 free glasses of bubbles - remember wombat, everything in moderation, including moderation

Morning all

MrsB that is so funny, I guess they didn't listen at all in biology at school! It's lucky they don't feel the need to check the info that they are given with Dr Google!

I'm ok, feeling a little bit in limbo. I am waiting for the results of the last tests which should come through 'early this week' which are checking AMH again, FSH and something else.....as soon as I've got these I'm going to make an appt with GP to see what I can get out of the NHS. I won't hold my breath there though cos even if they are prepared to see me I imagine it would be quite a wait.

Re alcohol I generally have a lot more than the occasional glass! I tend not to drink Sunday to Wed but Thurs/Fri/Sat I could drink from half a bottle up to a bottle and a half each night. having said that the twice that I've been pg I ovulated 3 days after a 10 day drinking binge holiday in China and the second time I ov'd and went on a weekend bender trip to NY the next day. So make of that what you will!

The recurrent mc ladies are lovely but they have mainly all bonded in the way we have so they are welcoming but I feel a bit awkward cos I don't know their history/what they've been going through individually.

wombat no we haven't done any positive visualisation stuff, doing Freud at the moment who has some interesting ideas....

Come on sparkly tell us about your b'day

Who is on the 2ww...who is SWI we need action around here!

Hi, sorry not been on for ages, (missed so much you lot talk fast)
Yellow im so sorry for you test results, but i know a lady at work you got pg despite a low AMH, amd also there is a lady on FF who just posted her BFP! remember its not over till the fat lady sings!

Happy belated birthday sparkly, did you have a nice day?

Have i missed anything else??

Im on the 2ww due on on sat, symptoms up to now are sore BBs, cramps and very hungry! I just cant decided if i should test early or not what would you do?? im on day 24!!!

(waves to everyone) hope everyone is ok? how are our pregnant buddies doing (kitty sending you lots of positive vibes although im sure you dont need them!)

Hello nurse

Thanks for the positive stories. I think I'm still feeling limbo/shock and not sure whether to to the positive and optimistic route or the realistic pessimistic. I have acupuncture booked and am drinking green tea right now so we can see which way I'm going!

My advice would be don't test early if you can manage not to. Just because I hate to see a bfn although your symptoms are sounding hopeful. Not too long until Sat...fingers crossed.

me me me, my fertile days start thursday through to the 2nd, so planning some serious swi action!!! Im away sat night at a hen night in manchester, so at least dh can recover his sperm content!! He he he...
Believe it or not af is due on valentines day, so im hoping i get a extra special valentines prezzie this yr, and its a sticky one!!
Welcome back nurse youve been missed, yellow keep us upto date with your alternative theropies, sorry spelling is terrible, no spell check on my phone.
Waves to all xx

Actually MrsB we're in sync........i've due to ov about Saturday so will be 'in action' from Thursday.

oooohhh how exciting!! Just hope the peak isnt sat as im not going to be there!!! Shit.....
I ov,d on the 1st last month, so hopefully its the same this month..
Lets keep our fingers crossed, lets be on symptom watch together yellow. Good luck, pre-seed at the ready!!! Lol x