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Original poster

8 months of TTC since my m/c and still not pregnant......should I be worried?

76 replies

Bella23 · 13/09/2005 11:03

Getting desperate now ladies so would like to hear from anyone that took a while after their m/c to get pregnant again as am starting to worry that it will never happen.

I am temping and using OPKs so know I am definately ovulating, having acupuncture and bding at all the right times but still nothing!

How long did it take you? Need to put my mind at rest before I go a little nuts with fear of it not happening!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bella23 · 12/10/2005 09:58

Thanks Guys.
Yes am going to go out at lunchtime and get some great vits for DH.
We had a great chat last night and he is going to arrange a sperm test asap. Hopefully it is going to come back all normal but we both feel we need to rule out if there is anything wrong etc....you know peace of mind.
Debbsy - yes have persona - lord have just about everything so yes George taking the pressure off would be a good thing - however I am a very determined gal who just can't take my eye of the ball just yet !!

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romilly · 12/10/2005 11:30

lol bella - i know where george is coming from, but i think its enormously difficult once you are on the ttc bandwagon to let go of any of the little rituals! they are so ingrained in your psyche after several months anyway, you just do them on auto-pilot

glad you are going to get the horse pills for d/h - make sure they have zinc + selenium and make sure he takes them every day without fail!

Debbsywillgetherbeanie · 12/10/2005 19:47

Bella my dh on zinc too although has to be supervised when taking them as he comes out with the old adage i dont like taking tablets lol tough hes going too xx

wendy11 · 12/10/2005 20:24

Bella

Good to catch up with you again. So sorry af arrived. Mine also arrived yesterday - 2nd one sine the m/c so at least I seem to be back to a 28 day cycle.

I hope you get some peace of mind from the sperm tests and that there is nothing for either of you to worry about.

I also have DH on zinc tablets and I am taking them as well. They are supposed to be good for cell development, so unless anyone knows a reason why I should't take them I will continue to do so and hope that they will improve my little eggies.

NHS funding has run out for all IVF cycles so we have decided to do a private cycle starting in December and if that is not successful we can use our other NHS funded cycle when money becomes available in April. We had always said we would do 3 cycles before moving on, perhaps to adoption but certainly from this ttc rollercoaster.

I have a rather nice story to share with you all. A friend who has been ttc for about 14 years with 4 failed IUI attempts and 7 failed IVF attempts finally adopted a little girl last year. She has made such a big difference to their lives - they are now a family. Well completely out of the blue she has fallen pg naturally and is currently 14 weeks pg. Just goes to show that when all the stress of trying to get the family she so desperatley wanted went away she finally got pg.

There is hope for us yet. All the best for this coming month. I will keep everything crossed for you.

dramaqueen72 · 12/10/2005 21:00

wendy, hello hun!
what a lovely story.
'glad' af arrived on time -tho wish she hadnt arrived at all of course.- and willing your next IVF to be the one. keep us all posted.

Original poster
Bella23 · 12/10/2005 22:24

Wemdy - so lovely to hear from you and what a lovely inspirational story !!

IVF in December hey, sounds like the best step. Glad to hear that AF is back to 28 days (not the same as the bitch staying away but at least she is returning to normal).

Well just to let you know that you are always in my thoughts and am willing you on xx
Keep us up to date with how it all goes. Lots of love.

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Nemo666 · 12/10/2005 22:28

wendy so good to hear from you hun and your friend is a true inspiration. Hope the cycle in dec goes really well.

bella hun hope the sperm tests are all fab and its just stressing iykwim. Thinking of you

george32 · 13/10/2005 14:57

Hey Wendy, good to hear from you again.
Lovely story. Bodies are just strange aren't they!
I'm so pleased you are going ahead with another cycle in December. I hope there will be some Christmas luck coming your way.

Bella, are you taking vitamins too? I've tried to remember what I had and I think it was zinc & B6. Can't remember what they were for now but I'll have a look when I get chance to see if they are worth having.

Original poster
Bella23 · 13/10/2005 15:15

Thanks George - went out yesterday and bought a load of Vits for me and DH.
DH has a sperm test booked for Friday and we get the test results back on Tuesday (so worth paying with speed like that!)Just got to hope that DH can perform on demand in his lunch hour -gulp gulp !!
So will feel better once we have that information as will be able to see if there is a problem in that area and take action if necessary. Just fingers crossed all is ok!

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plinketyplonk · 13/10/2005 15:20

Bella - it took us 9 months following m/c, i too thought it would never happen. GP organised tests for us, mine was booked for the middle of Dec 03, dp had sperm tests booked for middle of october, and lo and behold before he had to go i fell pg. DS was born June 2004. I think because we had tests booked i relaxed more ... all i can think that was different.

romilly · 13/10/2005 15:22

wendy - i am really happy that you are going for another cycle of IVF and getting it sooner than the NHS one. your friend's story does show that old adage about never quitting is true - ("never quit, never quit, never quit!")sorry you got AF this month, i still wish it for you every month. bella too.

bella - hope the job isnt getting you down, i am not enjoying mine at all these days - and i used to love it. but my boss is one of those types who seem to resent women having babies. niiice.

Original poster
Bella23 · 13/10/2005 15:29

PlinketyPlonk - thanks honey, really helps me to stay positive to hear stories like yours. Yes I think the reason for the tests are to put our minds at rest and to make me feel like we are doing something useful rather that sat around and just hoping!

Rom - yes work is a bit shite but hey ho could be worse. Sorry to hear your boss has turned into "one of those" around pregnant ladies. Just focus on maternity leave and it will be along before you know it!

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romilly · 13/10/2005 21:38

bella - i am focusing on the maternity leave, believe me! he made a comment today about how horrendous it would be if anyone else at work "came down with the same thing" as me! bloody cheek. i told him soon men would be entitled to 6 months paternity leave too - and he said "god i'll have to make sure i just employ 65 yr old men from now on"

wendy11 · 21/10/2005 17:49

Bella

Just caught up with your news on the other thread. I am glad that you have an answer about why things may be taking a little longer and it is something that you can do something about IYSWIM. Eat healthly, exercise, adequate rest and vitamins as required. We have both cut out alcohol and caffeine. Believe me the alcohol was harder for DH than the caffeine as he is not a big tea or coffee drinker but does like a beer or glass of wine with his tea but it is all in a good cause. When I get pg again he can start to enjoy a drink again. Sounded like a good deal to me. Does your DH have to have another sperm test done? It would let you see how the changes to you lifestyle have altered things. Really hope things are on the up for you. Chat soon

romilly · 03/11/2005 12:42

BELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???????????? where r u hun?

hope you are okay, and d/h is taking his vits.

wendy11 · 03/11/2005 18:30

Echoing Rom's call for you.

Hope you and DH are OK. Please drop us a line.

munz · 03/11/2005 18:33

'old on girls.....

bramblina · 03/11/2005 18:54

I feel I'm repeating myself on a lot of threads but it's only because when I was going through it all I felt I could have done with hearing all the inspirational stories, so.....The first time we conceived it only took 2m so naturally was delighted and of course assumed that was the norm...miscarried at 14 wks, fell in to awful depression and life was shit for the whole time it took to conceive again- which was a year to the day of the mc. Unfortunately mc'd again, this time 11 wks, got depressed again, but knew how to handle it so coped much better- and concieved after 6m. Mc'd again at 6wks, then 6m later at 5 wks. Only then did I manage to convince myself it wouldn't happen the next month straight after mc'ing, had a blast at a friend's hen night (whoops) and got excited about christmas, new yr etc and actually forgot about it, husband lost his job, we'd just built a big house and bought a new car, could see we really couldn't afford to be pregnant right now- and concieved. I had a wonderful pregnancy and birth and have the most wonderful 13 wk old little boy who we just adore. We'd had all the inital tests and nothing was found so I truly believe in my case it was just not going to happen while I was concentrating so hard- but all the while found that I could not "forget" about it as everyone says to, but the minute I did it all went brilliantly.
I have a friend who had been "obsessed" for 4 yrs, mc'd at 5 wks, never got over it and got herself even more upset. My advice was for her to get herself in to a position where she actually couldn't afford to get pg, and she probably would. They booked a caribbean holiday with a non-refundable £480 deposit, her husband was made redundant and they were due to start IVF when she found out she was pg. She's now 17 wks and doing great.
I'm sorry to ramble but when I think of what I went through, and where I am now, I'd help anyone to get through it , so I hope you can find a wee bit of comfort from this.

Original poster
Bella23 · 04/11/2005 10:11

Bramblina - thanks so much for telling your story -yes it does help sooo much to hear.

Thanks ladies for asking about me.

I am fine - seriously I am not feeling sad or depressed about the whole thing. I sort of just feel resigned to it all now. We are going for treatment in January so to be honest am just focusing on that.
I am still keeping up with the acupuncture once a fortnight but apart from using persona I am not doing any other TTC tricks. Most of the time I am just trying to forget about wanting a baby as if I start to hope it just makes me feel down.
A year and a half of trying is tough but there's nothing I can do about it so no point dwelling at the moment. DH is being a star though and given up booze in the hope it will help his swimmers.

Wendy - honey good to hear from you, think I may be needing your advice when we go to the clinic in January.

Anyway enough about me.....honestly I am a tough cookie - still laughing, making jokes about the whole saga so keeping my sanity!!

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wendy11 · 04/11/2005 11:00

Bella

So good to hear from you and you are sounding positive which is good for both you and your DH. Sometimes the only way to deal with this whole situation is to laugh.

Anything I can help you with don't be afraid to shout. I am in no way an expert but we have had so many types of fertility treatments over the years that I have a basic general knowledge of most of them

I really hope all goes well for you at the climic. Sometimes just having something to focus on with regards to getting things sorted out can take so much of the pressure off.

Hope to chat to you soon. There is a thread on Chat - beanie friends back toegether, sorry I am hopeless at links so I am not even goig to attempt one - where I have found I am able to post general chat to the other girls that doen't alway revolve around ttc and pg. Maybe you will come over there and join me.

Original poster
Bella23 · 04/11/2005 11:16

Yes Wendy - feel a lot better now I know we are going to get some help in Jan.

Might come and find the chat link next week - trouble is MM can make me feel a little sad sometimes so I try and keep my time on here minimal.

Anyway - lovely to hear from you as always xx

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romilly · 07/11/2005 11:40

hi bella and wendy

bella how is the job these days? i am loathing mine at the moment which is a real shame as i used to love it. it really makes the days seem long when you are not getting into what you are doing.

Original poster
Bella23 · 07/11/2005 12:15

Hiya Rom

mmm...pretty much hate my job to be honest but think I am pretty much stuck for the time being as if we need to start fertility treatment in January it will be a lot easier in my current position rather than with new employers etc.
Its not total doom and gloom....could be a lot worse.
Just trying to keep my chin up and look forward to Christmas when I am having 3 weeks off.

Shame you are not enjoying yours....just keep focusing on the maternity leave..........will be here before you know it

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romilly · 07/11/2005 14:59

3 weeks off for xmas bella how come? i think i only get 1 week this year

i agree if you are doing fertility treatment in jan. it is best to be somewhere where you dont mind taking lots of time off! a new job could be tricky. not feeling guilty is much easier if you have been somewhere for a while.

Original poster
Bella23 · 07/11/2005 15:11

I am not getting extra holidays or anything - just haven't used any holiday days this year - kept not wanting to take any hols as wanted to save up towards maternity leave etc but now realise that don't need to do that!!
Decided to take 3 weeks off over Chrimbo as desperately feel the need for a break otherwise my sanity might go!!

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