Thread for the fanjo-furkling, red-fecker-hating, ramekin-peeing JSers

[takethatlady]

The (updated) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday. Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended). Horse-riding and other dangerous activities are also actively encouraged.

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at ever opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronmyage to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed. If you're a midwife, you can even get other midwives to furkle for you

Keep us up to date with gossip!

*

Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge - BFP

Shout if I've missed anyone.

at "a good boffing" .

Everyone loves a good boffing!!!

TMI (I know you all like TMI tho) but I think I might have the beginnings of "EWCM"/pant snot!!!!!!! Looks like it's boffings all round

Evening viroids! Back from Paris and glad to be home!

Miffles I had noticed you were quiet but assumed busy and just not on as much have some big Glad your back in the fold!! I defo think anything is possible so maybe PIAR?? How good would that be if the clomid could get binned!

Nervous I'm sure you can bring DH round to your way of thinking, I like mogs idea of telling him you need a good boffing!! Mog happy birthday and happy humping! Yay for pant snot!

Baby2b sorry for ERTD but quite jealous of your drunken weekend ahead!

BB good news on your darker BFP! I'm with you on the non alcohol being hard; hard already after watching DH enjoying wine the last few nights and me on the sparkling water ..yummy.. seriously there is only so much water a woman can take! Now I have a new alcohol issue though: Its DH b'day tomorrow and we're out for dinner with friends and as I am usually a lushdrinking wine (and our friends are not shy and retiing types) my not drinking will definatley not pass without comment.. So I need some seriously good excuses or nija style techniques in pretending to drink when I'm not. Any ideas?? I seem to remember TTL pulling off some impressive moves in that dept!

xx to anyone missed!

Hi Viroids.

Glad you enjoyed Paris Dyna We had a fab time there last month. Very of your BFP though - perhaps I should get DH to arrange for us to go back again to see if I can get one too

Big hugs to Miffles Stay here and feel the love! POAS/IAR if it makes you feel better - you never know!!

So, I'm going to the Dr tomorrow morning. I feel a bit of a fraud because no sooner had I made the appointment then the ERTD showed up. Admittedly I've had a few dodgy cycles recently, and going 6 weeks is no good for my mental health, never mind what it means for my fertility. But I still feel a bit silly for going along to say that my period came late. I'm fully expecting to be told to keep a note of it all and come back in 6 months if I'm not pg by then, so all a bit futile, but at least it gets a concern registered on my notes. I hope it's worth getting myself up, dressed and into town by 8.30 am for!
Anyone got any advice about what info I should be taking with me??

Thanks you lot. You have made me feel warm and fuzzy inside! I don't know what was going on in my head, so thank you for humouring me.

My DH is fully aware of what is going on - wear my heart on my sleeve in all departments! So I'd say to def talk to him Nelly - and the idea of a good boffing would surely keep him happy!

Glad you've got some ov action mog - sounds like you're making use of it too

Dyna - TTL is the queen of subterfuge when it comes to sneaky not drinking. Could get DH to get a round in and have coke and lie about the malibu. Nurse one glass if need be, or try swopping your full glass with DH's full one.

Eskarina - glad ERTD has arrived and it does no harm to speak to the GP.

I'm not planning on testing just yet. Actually want to quietly imagine for a bit longer...see how the symptoms go. Fully expect ERTD to show up v soon. Give me another day anyway to imagine I could be....

Only a quick iPhone post, so I'm going to be brief...

(((hugs))) miffles If you fancy a sulk you go right ahead. But welcome back!

Oh and POA-fecking-S will you!

I did. It was BFN. Hey ho.

Sorry for the BFN miffles, and for not looking for you when you were lost. You are a great viroid though so don't go!

Quick handbook of drinking subterfuge (which does not include the antibiotics lie, as I'm pretty sure most people will spot this a mile off):

1. Buy a soft drink and pretend it has alcohol in it. You can add authenticity to this one by pre-arranging with a partner-in-crime that when he/she goes to get a round in you loudly ask for vodka and coke but he/she buys you just coke . Sometimes you will need to make sure the barman gives it to you in a believable glass and not a big 'Coke' glass, which somewhat gives the game away.

1. Suggest a round of shots when you're standing near a pot plant so you can sneakily spit yours out afterwards. It is imperative that you make the suggestion to do the shots so that you look like you're already drunk and up for a good time.

1. Take your drinks with you to the toilet and pour them away. This works best in a skanky club as you might look a bit like an alcoholic taking your drinks into the toilet in a gastropub.

1. Use said partner as drinks decoy - he/she may have opportunities to swig/hide your drinks as necessary. Be prepared for him/her to be called a 'bitch' or a 'bastard' for hogging all the drinks if someone catches you.

1. Have an alcoholic drink in your hand at all times, and either backwash it or keep your mouth closed. If it's a friend's drink, definitely just keep your mouth closed.

1. 'Spill' your drink and pretend to be really upset you've lost it. Perhaps even pick a fight with a random who has 'bumped' into you (this one only for the brave).

1. Spend several hours in front of the mirror perfecting your best drunken dance moves. If you're doing the hokey-cokey no-one's going to think you're sober. This is easier if you have uncontrollable hips like me

1. Make sure that every time someone takes a photo you're loudly cheering and clinking your glass with someone else's.

1. Yell things like 'woohoo' and 'yeeha' as much as possible.

10. tell the truth???...

Hey Miffles sorry about your BFN but maybe it's still too early? If not then I hope ERTD arrives soon so you can get on the clomid wagon and don't worry about not being searched for, I buggered off for ages and have stomped back in quite brazenly!

Vallinna I'm with the other viroids that you may only need one go so that safety net would be uneccessary anyway. Everything crossed for you.

Brassica so pleased your line is getting darker, it must feel very reassuring.

Am loving the drinking advice TakeThat you are clearly good at this sort of thing! If this month works for us I'll be trying to get through Christmas undetected so those tips would come in handy.

In my news I'm now 3 DPO and so waiting to find out my fate again. ERTD due around the weekend od 27th so and am away that weekend so am hoping that distracts me. If no signs by Monday 29th I shall be POASing with a vengeance!

Right, I'm off to arrange some lovely snacks in time for Villa vs. Man U (come on you villans!) Happy weekend viroids

Sorry for BFN Miffles

TTL I love your list of non-drinking rules

I got on remarkably well at the Dr this morning. I'm glad I held out to see this one as last time I went (about something else completely) I was told there was nothing the NHS could do and perhaps I should look up my symptoms on paitientchoice.co.uk

Anyway she took me seriously, read my little notebook with interest and promptly gave me a referral form for a scan. She reckons it's polycystic ovaries (but not PCOS - didn't realise you can have one without the other) and apparnetly it's very common, just not very much talked about. It shouldn't affect fertility but because cycles are so irregular it could take "longer than average"

But her recommendation is to get a fertility monitor so I know where I am. Does that mean I can no longer be a JSer? She also talked scary things like sperm tests for DH (should have seen his face when I told him that!), blood tests and clomid.

Hey.
Hope I'm not one of the said helloers then buggered off i'm just rubbish at keeping up with threads.
Miffles im a sulker too, if things arent going my way i vanish then get pissed off if no-one blooming well notices i'm gone haha.
Can't remember who said about maybe possibly being upduffed despite rare js's and odds against. When we were trying for ds2 i was having periods twice a mont but religiously doing the whole sex every other day business for months. After 6 mnoths i couldnt take anymore and told OH no more i wanted to stop trying cos i couldnt take it. Went to the docs to sort my wierd period out and was given some funky medicine. I didn't even get chance to actually get the prescription into the chemist before I discovered i was pregnant and we had literally ahd sex once that month (and it was a very alcohol fueled shag at that!) so you never know. Fingers crossed for you.
I'm liking all the sneaky drinking tips. I have to say i'm a bit bad and usually have a drink but make one last for about 4 hours so i'm not getting pissed but am drinking. But i like TTL's methods loads better.
Not much to tell from my end. I think my body has gone into meltdown! Two periods in one month and all day yesterday could barely move with pains in my lower back and front ovary type area. feels fine today so god only knows whats going on there. Ah well i shall continue to js and see where it leads.

Classic TTL totally classic.

Maybe we should print them out and carry them around on a card in our wallet. That way when the need arises we are fully prepared.

Esakrina - really glad the doc said and did the right things. Being listened to and taken seriously is so important. The scan I had to look for polycystic ovaries was really straight forward - ulstrasound with full bladder and jolly on tummy. No internals, thankfully! I would say it is worth having DH tested to. Apparently 50% of the time there are male problems and 50% female. But we always assume it's us! At least DH and I are equally to blame responsible so can share the load!

Wow, 321 - it can happen, a well-timed shag! Encouraging. Sorry to hear your body is messing you about so much. How long has it been so awry?

Awh Miffles

I am sure DH will love all your complements but I could never tell him for fear of admitting to my MN habit! That and his ego would be unbearable [simle]

Great score for Villa Truff!

Esk I think I have POs without PCOS (although have lost about 10lbs since talking metformin - I was 'perfect' weight for my height before any way (cos there's such a thing like that for a women )) No other symptoms just no ovulation. Scan confirmed the POs

Right, have to miss the end of the rugby as off for acupuncture before heading home for Strictly/X Factor!

Well my smileys and spelling have left the building!

Ha ha Vallinna obviously rushing to get the post up! On the face of it a good point and I'd have taken it before kick off but we definitely should have won it, rather than conceding 2 goals when we were two nil up! Same as Fulham last week, think we need to try for a clean sheet at Blackburn next week. (I realise you might not be a football fan so feel free to ignore my waffle if that's the case!)

Eskarina so glad your doc listened and wants to help, that must feel great. Hopefully the scan will get you some answers so you can take control of the situation.

As we're out tonight I'll be watching both Strictly and X Factor on Sky+ tomorrow. I love a hungover lazy Sunday with crap TV and nice food. Looking forward to it already!

Esk great news that the doc listened and s going to send you off for a bit of investigation. It's alway nice to know you're not insane and be taken seriously.
Miffles I don't realy know how long my body has been rebelling against me for. I went on the injection 6 weeks after my baby was born and that stopped my periods immediately. I was due an injection on 1st July but decided to change my contrception method but couldnt get to a doc (we were in the middle of a house move) so was without protection for 2 months but had no period whatsoever. Then i went on the pill for just under 3 months and still no period. As soon as I stoppd taking the pill 3 days later i had a period and now i've jsut had my second one so its early days things may settle down fingers crossed anyway

321 no I didn't mean you!!

Stealth posting as at friends. Chat later :)

Pissed off! Visiting family. Sis borrowed my iPhone to login to her email; in my history there is loads of MN and FF stuff. Then my dad borrowed it for a look around; I have 2 pg apps loaded.

Pissed off

This is my secret for now and I don't want them knowing until I'm ready. No-one said anything, but they aren't blind or stupid! Ggggrrrrr!

hey all
big yay to esk for supportive doc, sometimes feel they wanna get you out of office asap so v good :o

sorry for bfn miffles :( big hugs to u

love the drinks tips ttl i remember seeing a desperate housewives eps with tom drinking lynettes drinks, my DH thinks this will be fun for him! hehe

bb eek to phone stealage! least they didnt say owt i guess? liking the apps tho so coming round to DHs ipad, he even got 'preg Dad' one! DH rang a mate in the UK and he randomly asked (in his words) if I was up the duff. DH was so taken aback his response was not convincing but still think he bought it. Can't say im a fan of this friend (he has issues with women to say the least) so wasn't impressed with the way he came out with it (like it would be a terrible thing for DH IYSWIM)

hope all had grand wknds, wasn't too bad without drinking but this is defo gonna be hard over crimbo!

Oh BB damn your nosey sis and dad! At least they're keeping their mouths shut for now. If they ask could you say a friend was looking at them on your iphone?
cremegg try not to worry about OH's muppet mate. I think most men (even the decent ones) have that sort of 'oh god mate what have you done' reaction when they find out their mates going to be a dad especially if its the 1st one. My hubby got lots of it even though we were already bringing up my son together anyway I think men just have no idea how to express an emotion so cover it with sarcasm and bravado

BB maybe they weren't expecting to see anything pg-related so they didn't notice? Is a possibility. Like when kids from school see me in the street and don't notice cos they don't expect to see me.

Glad to hear about the doc visit Eskarina, is positive to be doing something.

Boo to BFN Miffles.

Hope your body settles down soon 321.

Strictly was good Truffkin, so you should enjoy it. We are watching WWE Smackdown on Sky+ . Got Strictly in last night whilst my sis was here before other people turned up for birthday gathering.

I agree with Miffles about drinking tips from TTL, laminated on a small card to fit in purse in case you fake-drunkenly spill your drink all over it!

Haven't seen any pant snot since first occurence. How long does it usually last? Told DH that grapefruit juice increased pant snot in asda yesterday and he was v grossed out by the term and asked me to call it MILM. I think milm is worse!

My temps are v variable, could this be the drinking? Is my birthday after all :-D I'm not going forth with my laminated card and subterfuge techniques till I definitely have to!

I'm in a good mood today so hugs to everyone

Oh thanks for the hug Mog.

Actually have nothing to say, just procrastinating. Mwah

mwah mwah and mwah to all my viroids. Rushed home from church before DH so could do a stealth MN! he thinks I spend too much time on here

Met my new niece today - 2 days old and gorgeous! She smiled at me!

A very hungover viroid here today. Two nights out in a row and had pate for lunch today. Feeling much better as I was a bit teary when I got my AF on Friday.

Singingmog alcohol and the time you temp have a big effect on your results. I had to give up temping as my results were all over the place. I think bb was a good temper though?

I'm on cd3, who are my cycle buddies this month? If I get a BFP I am going to need TTL's list! How are our BFP ladies? Intrigued to know if you are getting more symptoms?

Hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend. Time for a little snooze for me (that's me hungover, not jealous)

baby2b I am hungover too - got a bit carried away with the wine whilst numbing the pain of X Factor.

Miffles and :) that you got to sniff a new baby!

Lots of JSing this week so I guess I'm officially on the 2ww from Monday...bleh.