We're taking the train...some now boarding, some delays, some still standing on the platform! TTC 'Waiters' IIT!

[bebejones]

Old thread here

Welcome aboard, make yourselves comfy I have a feeling it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Hi all! I just saw this article on the Guardian about men talking about different ages to have kids. There are lots of comments from men too - maybe some of your OHs would be interested?

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/09/right-time-to-have-a-baby

The link didn't work!

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/09/right-time-to-have-a-baby

Ha, mine has just read that article.

Thought you all might be interested in our conversation:

Me: So do you think you feel ready to be a father?

DP: Yes. As ready as I'll ever be.

Me: Wow, what's brought about that change of heart?

DP: You banging on about it all the time?

So there we have it ladies, scientific proof that 'banging on about it' can actually lead to positive results!

Quod :o That's how I 'convinced' DH the first time! Unfortunately he knows what he is letting himself in for with the 2nd one & it's harder to persaude him!

Mine read a bit of the article and then got bored and switched to facebook!

I read the article & thought DH would freak out if he read the one about having kids in your 20s so didn't bother showing him!!

All quiet on the train again. Is everyone feeling a bit low? Winter blues amplified by desperation to TTC? Feeling less broody today after DDs antics yesterday afternoon, good grief she was hard work :( Maybe I could loan her out to broody ladies to put them off?!

Morning All!

(warning, long and vaguely self indulgent post coming up!!)

Hope that you have all had good weekends (obviously so as it's been very quiet on here!!) I had a complete shocker!! For some reason I had a complete meltdown on Friday night. I think it was a result of the crap 2 weeks at work, feeling ill, the total lack of sleep and the cancelled train home on Friday night but everything I had been trying to ignore crept up on me (well actually, it was more like it hit me with a sledgehammer!!) and I couldn't stop crying....... V embarassing when you are on a train!

I struggled to explain it to DH and so he got frustrated with me and it was a very miserable weekend.

We ended up talking about it all last night and I managed to explain to him that I was struggling. I told him that the TTC (or rather lack of it) thing was making me miserable and that when everything else is going well I can keep a handle on it and not think about it too much but that when everything else is going badly it all gets too much and All I can think about is starting a family.

I explained it to him as being like an ache inside of me. Like feeling permanently hungry (he is a man, he understands hunger!) and that when everything else in life is good, I can cope with the feeling of hunger and not think about it all the time. When things are bad, then it's impossible to think about anything else other than the hunger.

At the moment he is not ready to TTC and so we are focussing on improving my work situation so that I can cope with the unhappiness of not TTC. However he did say that he understood how unhappy it was making me and whilst he can't promise anything, we may be able to look at timings at some point. Which basically puts me back at the point where I have no idea when we will TTC but at least I know that October 2011 is the latest.

He did make the mistake of saying that if I did get pregnant now it wouldn't be a bad thing......... very silly thing to say to hormonal and broody woman who is in charge of the Persona monitor and about to enter her super fertile time. Will have to make sure I don't create an accident!

He also said that we should ditch the idea of a trip to Australia and focus on having time for us rather than traipsing across the world to see family and friends. I am kind of inclined to agree with him and so all plans to visit his Grandmother are on hold for the next year or so.

So a pretty emotional weekend but hopefully now I've talked to him about how unhappy I am (I am so useless at talking about things and it drives him insane!!!), we can start working on ways to improve it.

Hope that you all had significantly better weekends!

bebe - xpost. I'll have her for a few days!

Haha bebe!

my DP said yesterday-

"lets go back to the original plan of TTC after Christmas"

I said "really?"

he said "yes, we would have 9 months to get things ready with the house and and save up"

"OK" I said

So off we go! Can I ask your opinion ladies? I am a fish eating vegetarian with no problems about people eating meat as long as it has not had any welfare issues etc. Should I consider eating some meat whilst pregnant to ensure enough protein and B vitamns etc? I know you can get the right nutrients via a totally vegetarian diet but it is much harder to do........so what do you think?

sorry JS x-posted. Sorry to hear about your weekend, hope you do feel better after your heart to heart with DH ((((hug)))))

bebe I'll look after your DD - she looks very cute in your pics!

js hope you are feeling better after talking with your DH. I am always rubbish at talking to mine too, and I know it frustrates him although he tries to hide it!

strawberry yay for ttc after Xmas! I am veggie (no fish) and I don't plan to eat meat while pg. I try and eat relatively healthily with lots of protein, so I'll stick with that and see how things go.

Hi all. Have lurked for a while, but now I really need to share my story (makes it sound much more interesting than it is!).

We are waiting to TTC our first - planning to start next summer.

Thing is, BOTH of us really want a baby NOW, but various things are holding us back from TTC until next summer. We've gone over and over it again and again but each time agree (sadly) that we can't start before then.

Thing is, our friend gave birth to a baby girl yesterday, which brought up all the longings again for both of us. It's the third birth in 2 months for our friends and each time we get sad and wish that it would be us.

We talk about it loads, between ourselves but also with our parents. We discuss baby names, and where we could move to to buy a larger flat. I read mumsnet every day wishing I could talk about my DC.

7 of our close friends now have babies, with 2 of them expecting a second. It's so frustrating having to wait!

Just gone back and read most of the thread, which I'd skipped in my haste to complain about waiting to TTC

100 - I get debilitating migraines and am also worried about how I'll cope if/when I get pregnant as I won't be able to use any of my current medication.

I've been told many times its linked to diet and periods but I actually haven't found that. I just get them. They can be set off by stress. But equally, I can have 2 migraines in 5 days whilst on holiday

I take pills daily to try and prevent a migraine, but the last treatment I had only worked for less than a year, and then I was back to getting a migraine a week. After a 5 day migraine (a real killer) I went back to the Dr and he changed my meds.

Not much help to you, except sympathy from a fellow sufferer!

Oh Strawberry!! That is super super exciting for you - YAY!!!

Fluffy - welcome! :D, you will find lots of nice people on here that will listen, sympathise and make you giggle. It's as nice a place as any to wait.

Hello Ladies, how are you all. Few bits of catching up and then I will tell you all about my Dr and my weekend :)

bebe I knew you were having jabs but I didn't know what for and only asked about depression as it flared up after your DD. My friend has MS and she wants a baby, not sure what she is planning on doing re meds. It's good that you know all the symptoms to spot, but not great that you don't know when or how bad they will be. Hope it all goes OK for you, I really do. I had a lot of counselling last year, and still work through some stuff in my head now as though I am counselling myself

squirrel & Quod I told my OH about that article last night and about quod's OH comments, he said "if you kept banging on about it to me I would go off the idea" LOL so the reverse works for me and mine!!! He feels ready as it is, in fact I think he has been ready a lot longer than me (not in our relationship but from before we met)

JS Men hey, saying you can't start trying but then saying if you were peg it wouldn't be a bad thing, that's total back to front! Sorry you had such a rough day, though if it's any consolation it really does do you good every so often to just have a blurt out of everything.

strawberry Yay :) Whoop, but no idea on the food side of things.

fluffy Hello and welcome along to the broodiness capital of the world. Yep, people around you having babies, saying they are peg etc I know that feeling well. Get yourself comfy in the waiting room, there will shortly be someone coming along with some food and drink.

I hope I've not missed anyone out.

Right then stuff from me

Friday went to the docs and went in there wearing my uniform so we immediately got chatting about my job and her about her's and then came on to the topic of why I was there, I said I come with good stuff, she immediately thought I was pg, to which I said - no not yet.... we laughed about both being see through. I said I needed to check on my meds and went through all of them. The bitch about it is is I have to stop my preventative while trying and preg and there isn't another tablet I can take in the mean time, it's something I am concerned about, but cannot do anything about it, and I want to get pg so much that I will take the migraines if they come. The rest of the tablets I take, well I can take some of them during the first part of my cycle then stop when I have ovulated, and some of them I can take all the time if necc, including my strong pain killers, so each month I will have 2 weeks of being able to take stuff and a couple of weeks of having limited meds available. If I get preg I can take the stuff that I've been allowed for the whole cycle. I won't give the med names as I don't want others to think they can take stuff when I've had the say so from the Dr, everyone is different.

I mentioned the flu jab and she said yeah no probs with you having that, I was going to make an apt with the nurse when she ducked out and got it for me there and then! When I was leaving I said I would go and see her when the time came, she was really pleased and almost did a little girlie bounce, she said her Dr had been so blaze about it she was really gutted, she said it's the best thing in the world, told me about her pg trying and the wait etc. She also said expect it to take 6 months. She was really really lovely.

Was away the weekend, and there was a load of little things that were just not right, where we stayed, the meal we went out for, OH forgetting something quite important, lots of little things and a load less sleep than I needed. Last night I got home and spent the evening on the verge of tears and cried in bed, :( I was just so tired and I needed a blub.

We did see 2 couples with babies, the first on Sat afternoon (6 wks old) and the second yesterday (3 wks old) OH had a hold of both and I sat there looking at him thinking about him holding ours. I did say after Saturday's visit do we have to wait till november and he laughed, called me a chancer and greedy, said I was overjoyed at when he said November a couple of weeks ago, LOL Yeah I know, but I can't help it. But we briefly discussed November, he said yeah, then the second time said 'probably' afterwards, give with one hand take with the other! LOL So I still don't know officially, but I reckon it's after my next period.

I've written loads there, I'm going off to work out my cycle for the past year!

I totally get watching your DH holding a baby and thinking about your future baby.

I know I'm lucky that DH wants a baby as much as I do. He's been pretty steady as to when we could start TTC - only one hiccup a couple of years ago when we went on holiday with friends and their 6 month old baby who was teething. Poor thing cried loads which kinda put both of us off, especially DH!

But now that baby is a gorgeous 2.5 year old. We stayed with said friends for a weekend last month and he was adorable. Really fun to play with, and really huggy, especially the morning that his parents didn't hear him crying, so I got to go and fetch him from his cot and bring him into our bed .

Our main difficulty to resolve before TTC is accommodation as we live in a sixth floor flat with no lift...

You are all welcome to DD after yesterday do not let her cuteness deceive you, she is a monster in disguise! :o

Just spent an hour with my friend and her 4 week old. So cute & piling the weight on she is huge now! She is already the weight my DD was at 2.5months!

Welcome to FluffyDonkey! :o

Strawberry - How very exciting! Hope I will be joining you but DH & I still haven't officially had the decision making talk (despite me stopping meds)

JS - So sorry you are feeling so low. Sometimes a good blub can help, at least it gets the emotions out in the open, bottling them up is just not healthy. At least you have made some decisions with your DH. The Austrailia trip was the one you didn't want to do wasn't it? Having a 'no later than' date must be some comfort even if it is a year off. I have been waiting since last August & looking back it has flown by!

100 - that sounds like a really positive appt! Fingers crossed you don't suffer too badly off your meds. Men & a law unto themselves aren't they?! Why can't they commit to something & stick to it?!

Re your friend with MS, I found my nurses/specialists really helpful & supportive. Being pregnant can reduce the risk of relapse so can be beneficial to the condition, especially in the last trimester. Hope she is getting some support.

I must admit to being a bit when baby 1 started crying while in his arms and I wondered how he would feel about it, but he just rocked him and talked to him and baby soon stopped.

Sorry bebe I started posting then got distracted by something so I appear to have ignored your post, didn't realise I was gone so long. Yeah I hope the migraines are OK, and not too bad, we shall see. I've not really talked too much about it with her(friend with MS) As I am trying not to talk to too many real life people at the moment about it all, it was a general comment about moving house and feeling settled etc and she replied about her. Hence me not knowing what she is going to do.

Well I checked my cycles, and now as I thought I was fairly regular. :( I'm not. This year so far
41days
21 Had to take MAP so came on vary early
30 but had a bit of spotting at 21 days
45
34
38
30 had a bit of spotting at 22 days
I have heard of others getting pg with out a pattern to cycles, but I think given the fact I have to come off certain meds when I ovulate I may have to (any excuse) use OPKs to check when this is so I can make sure I don't risk anything and this will also might us in the old getting the time right and upping the chances. To that effect I am due on any time on/after Sunday 24th, that's only next week :o What's the betting this month will be a 5 or 6 week cycle! But then it'll be time to get the pins out

Ok, I may have missed it at some point in the thread, but when you all start TTC what will you do contraceptive-wise?

We were just planning on stopping the pill, from the moment we are "ready" to have a baby 8 months later...(just in case it comes early).

I went to see my gyneco (lovely lady) who was pretty at how "organised" I am, when I said we wanted to start TTC from May/June 2011...she gave me a prescription for folic acid, to be taken one month before we start trying. But she said not to bother stopping the pill and using condoms whilst waiting for my cycle to stabilise. She said just stop the pill.

My friend did this and got pregnant 2 weeks later but I'm not sure as I thought it took several months for your body to stabilise.

Hi and welcome FD. I stopped taking the pill about 3 months before we plan to start TTC after our wedding (Nov) so my body could get back to normal. I do hate having to use condoms now though and we would probably have abandoned them by now if it wasn't for the fact i want to fit into my wedding dress and have a few drinks!

Big hugs for you JS, i know the feeling.

I find it very difficult to talk full stop when i am upset. I've instructed my OH just to give me a hug if i'm upset and i think he knows now that i will talk about whatever i was upset about later when i'm feeling better. A few beers usually helps us both to air our feelings!

We've only ever used condoms - other than taking the MAP the one month when one broke, so for us it's a case of not using them. There are no artificial hormones in my body, I'm eau naturelle :o I know some people get pg straight away off the pill and others take a long time, so there is no hard and fast rule tbh.

Fluffy get your prescription filled before then as there is a limit to how long you can have one before the chemist won't accept it, even though you won't be using the stuff yet.

I started on the folic acid at the end of August as I wanted a few months in my system in case the magic happened in the first month, plus we discussed the condom breaking and said I probably wouldn't be taking the MAP if that happened and so good to have some in me in case!

If I am upset, everything comes out in a rushed mess, but I get stuff out. Having had plenty of practice at speaking while upset!!

I've just bought a preg magazine, only because it has an article on 'Mum to be - preparing your body' or something like that Will try not to thrust it in OH's face.

Trying to remember to sing 'always look on the bright side of life' in my head because I'm feeling a tad emotional about waiting. Reckon I'm probably in that ovulating window and would love to just have a go right now!

100, this waiting is so hard isn't it, i think it's getting worse the closer it gets.
I 'sexpested' OH at the weekend (i think i'm in the ovulation window too) and was so tempted to 'forget' about the condom.
OH pointed out pg books in a shop the other day but i am worried about jinxing it!
I'm taking folic acid too as it says on the bottle ideally take 3 months before ttc.

Well for my part the whole "come off the pill and get your body ready" plan has been scuppered completely and I am now back on it.

JS it is probably no comfort to hear that I am in the same boat but over the course of the past week DH has told me that he had assumed we weren't using contraception, that he is surprised we haven't had an accident by now, has inferred that I should engineer an accident, has told me I absolutely must not engineer an accident, has told me there's definitely no way we'll have started ttc by next July, and has ordered me to stop using mumsnet because it is messing with my mind and making me think I want a baby when I don't.

The time for sane, rational discussion has clearly passed.

FD welcome to the madhouse!