Getting pregnant in late 40s

[jenjane]

I have 3 grown up children and have met a wonderful man - younger than me. He has no children and we are considering the pros and cons of having a child and the possibility at my age. Just wondered if any mums over 45 had conceived naturally or have used Clomide and did it aid with getting pregnant. I am thinking very carefully about this as part of me feels it would be be fair to bring a child into the world with such an old mum. But partner is in his late 30s. My close friends give me their opinions but would be interested in those that dont now me. Or those of you who have friends who have had children late in life.

Hi jenjane - I am not quite old enough for your category but I am still ttc no.2 child, having had DS when I was 40. It's taking a long time this time (only took 3m with DS) and I haven't yet gone the fertility treatment route, but might do so by the end of the year if no success. My DH is in his mid30s as well.

I had a fair bit of guilt over being 40 with DS, actually - my Mum died while I was pg and 2 weeks before my 40th birthday, which brought the whole "losing your mum" thing sharply into focus and I realised I would have to reach 80 for DS to have his mum as long as I had had mine; and we didn't expect her to die when she did as she was only 63. My point being that I didn't feel old enough to be motherless, if that makes sense. Anyway - the guilt is still there for if we have a second one as well - but at least there would then be 2 of them to cope together.

I think you have to do what you think is right - only you can decide that - remember though that you have other children, who no doubt will get to know a new baby and will be almost like aunts and uncles than siblings; so your new baby wouldn't be alone in the world should (God forbid) anything happen to you.

Good luck anyway :)

TY thumbwitch am totally confused as my life is fairly settled and i now bringing new baby(if i am lucky enough) into the world will turn it upside down. Part of it is that i would love my partner to experience fatherhood. I understand your feelings on lose. My father died when I was 30 and my mother is very poorly in her late 80's and i will never be ready to let her go.

I am 42 with a 4 year old ds & would love another - there are so many older Mums now & at least you have younger partners. Follow your heart or you may regret it. Remember we can die at any age & you can't protect your children from the inevitable - we are never ready to loose our Mums.

My sister in law has suggested using Clomide as your eggs are not as good at my age. Part of me thinks i should leave it to nature. Do you have to pay for Clomide?

Hi jenjane - I don't know anything about Clomide but I have just been given a book by a good friend called The Ovulation Method by John J Billings MD - it's supposed to be excellent for helping you to either avoid pg or to get pg, depending on your choice, by natural means. My friend used it for years for contraception purposes and then successfully to have her 3rd DC; and another friend (who is 40) used it, having NOT got pg for over a year, and was pg within 2 months.

Hope someone else can answer your clomide qu.

Have you read the account of Dr Luisa Dillner's successful natural pregnancy at 48?
Weekly in the Guardian.
Hope this is cheering :)

All sounds so easy but did anyone have an amnio? I am considering trying for my third but was worried sick about the health of my babies conceived in my late thirties let alone doing it all again in my forties (not to mention the effect on my pelvic floor!).