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The Queen & Dolly Parton
Queen Elizabeth II and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St Peter must decide which of them gets in.
He asks Dolly if there's a particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
St Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen calmly takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. She then spits into a nearby toilet, and pulls the chain.
St Peter says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turn me down. She simply gargles and she gets in. Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," says St Peter, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are."
Boom! Boom!