TTC after a miscarriage - ***Lets have some more BFP's***

[Diddle]

Here we go ladies, couldn't wait for a couple of days have started one already.

Lets make this thread a lucky one and make sure we al graduate from it.

Oh yes-can't miss that vital right time

I was just thinking now it is September I would have been coming up to being 6 months PG but although I'm not I must have put the same amount of weight on . Seriously though, both times I only got PG when I was at Weight Watchers-can't afford to go at the mo though so must make an effort to do it myself-starting tomorrow!

Right-got to iron some clothes as off out to see my friend (due 20th September). She was 7 weeks early last time so at least this baby won't be that early although I'm sure she won't hold out until the end.

Catch y'all later

((xx))

Oh baggybear-how horrible for you! ((xx)) How on earth did the other mum find out?

Take care

x

I've got a vague idea how she found out but it upsets me to think about it as it means a friend hasn't kept my secret

I had an awful feeling something like this might happen today. Ah well, I'm off to see a MC councellor this morning so I can talk it out with her.

Oh, and I can't tell you where i am in cycle coz I'm still waiting for first AF since MC. Will let you know though.

humphreys - have a good day, hope you're okay with your friend and have a good time.

Baggybear - I never saw a councilor, let us know how it goes, sounds like it could be quite helpful, might be something worth doing if heaven forbid i have a 3rd.
If you're right about your vague idea, it doesn't sound like your friend is a very good one. I hope you get to the bottom of it and find great support from the councilor.

Oh NO!! Just thought - my kids didn't know about baby. The mum who somehow found out, her boy is in DS2 class. God, I hope he doesn't say anything

Oh Baggybear - thats the last thing you need. although kids might not see it as a big thing and probably will have things that are much more interesting to them to chat about. I would hope that the parents would have the sense not to mention to their kids, purely for this reason. I'm sure it will be fine.

again

I'm off then to see my MC lady. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I'll get over it, just not nice being school gossip. I'll come up with a witty reply if anyone asks me again - oo, I could say "why do you think i've put on weight?" That'll stop them in their tracks ha-ha!

Will pop back later to tell you how this morning went. xxxx

GOOD LUCK - very good idea having a witty reply, stay strong x

Good Luck Baggy! As Diddle says I'm sure the parents wouldn't have said anything to the kids.

It's hard having to un tell people or take the sympathy they give. My mum was so excited when I told she was going to be a Grandma that she told all her friends (against my wishes) I was so angry at her when I had my m/c, but she was so mortified that I couldn't have a go at her, but it still upsets me that so many people know.

Well, I've been to see the councellor. Not much good though. I came out feeling worse than when I went in. Felt she was very harsh, and I ended up coming out feeling like I had done something wrong. Have made second appt but going to cancel it. I can't see how that is suppose to make me feel better?

thats terrible baggybear - what happened, how on earth did she make you feel worse, how bad is that?

How have you got in contact with them, is it the miscarriage association or through the doctors?

Excuse me ladies, I am gatecrashing your thread to ask you a question (I am over on the due in Jan thread). My bf had a termination a month ago due to an awful fatal condition they discovered at her dating scan (we were due the same time). The poor baby had virtually no chance of surviving, massive cysts were growing in her lungs and muscles. Obviously my bf was devastated, having to go through an induced labour at 17 weeks. Now she thinks she is having her first period since then.

How long should she wait before trying again? She is waiting for the results from the autopsy (they take ages) to find out if it was genetic. It wasn't chromosonal.

Do they take special care (ie scanning) in these sorts of circumstances? (i keep telling her they will)

Are there any special support groups she could contact? She is obviously really worried about trying again.

Thanks for your help and good luck to you all!

Hi Rachey,

So sorry to hear what your friend has been through, it sounds horrendous, and what a horrible position to be in, where you have the choice of your babies future, i hope they're coping alright. (which is a stupid thing to say, of course they're not)

As for periods, they can come anytime after the loss, and different doctors offer different advise on how long to wait. The simple answer is, whenever they feel ready to try again, i shouldn't think there is a major time to wait. Having never given birth I would not know a definite answer medically, if she had any complications etc during the birth that might make a difference. But i personally would wait until at least one normal period has passed, that way you know your system is flushed out and everything is in working order.
As for support groups, the only support group I know of is SANDS they deal with stillbirth and neonatal death, they may have some useful advise or at least information on where your friend can find more information, heres the link:

SANDS

Hope that this helps.
There are a couple of others on here who have lost their babies around that time in pregnancy, who may be on later this evening and will be able to give you more advice.

Congrats on your pregnancy buy the way, hope its going well.

Thanks Diddle! It was all horrendous and really drawn out, full of false hope and uncertainty. To be honest, when it came to making a decision, they had little choice (which is maybe a good thing IYKWIM). It was amazing she lasted as long as she did, the cysts were growing rapidly and were inoperable positions. She is a very private person and would never come on here herself, she tends to bottle things up and perhaps I am not the best person to talk to about it all being not only pregnant but very emotional with it! We were due the same time (her first, my fourth) she was even due on her birthday. Thanks for your good wishes, believe me, I know how lucky I am and I wish I could be sharing it with her. I will have a look at this thread again tomorrow. Good luck to you.

where are you all today??????
is there anybody there?

Hi Diddle I'm here
BB that sounds awfull, I feel really angry for you.

Hi Xena, hows things?? Are you taking it a little easier? for a minute there i forgot you were "with child" silly me.

Just back myself. That's terrible baggy, give your self some time, then look for somebody else, you have to comfortable with the person for these things to work.

Well, I've just finished packing for my weekend away and have decided to do one test before I go tomorrow (which should be too early still) and forget about it over the weekend. If there's no af when I get back then I'll test again then. I just wish I knew if I could over indulge on Champagne (which I will make DH buy!)

Rachey - I had a stillbirth in April and we were told we could try again after we got the all clear from Hosp in late May.Hope this helps xx

Baggybear.Poor you xx What on earth did the counsellor say to upset you so much?? They are supposed to offer comfort arent they???

And I so sorry about your episode at school today.I have a similar problem.I am off on Mat leave and when people say are you on holiday and I see no mat leave the next question is "oh how lovely what did you have?" Then I have to explain and I dont know who feels worse them or me.We should have t shirts printed

BY BABY DIED
LEAVE ME ALONE

Thinking of you
xxxxxx

CP, that sounds so destressing for you my m/c was at only 14wks but because it was passed the so called magic 12wks we had told a few people and that was bad enough.
Diddle I'm trying to take it as easy as I can. I had abit of a funny turn today in the garden I really don't know what happen but it was abit like being dizzy, might take myself to the doctors in the morning.
The 5 step plan for me:

1. get pg
2. Make it to 8wks
3. Make it to 12wks
4. Make it to 24wks
5. Bring new baby home

Yesterday I cancelled our gym membership and today I hired a cleaner.

HI Rachey,
My miscarriage was at around 17 weeks. We were told to wait for one normal period to pass, for me this was two cycles.

Hi all!

Rachey - I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I hope everything works out for them but its seems as though she has a really good friend in you so I know she has good support

I definately didn't feel comfortable withthis woman. I was put in contact with her by my HV. I know my HV really well and I spoke to her about the MC and she said she would arrange for some councelling. Anyway, this woman rang me and made me an appt so I thought "nothing to lose".

How wrong could I be - I've lost what little self esteem I had and lost my mind!!! She made me feel I was wrong for wanting another baby, she seemed to think I was neglecting my children. She said I had too much going on in my head, and then told me that confusion is good for me! I cried til I had no tears left, but not because of grief and telling someone about it, but because I felt I was being judged and belittled. I'm not my own biggest fan and I do battle with my self esteem, but she made me feel so much worse.

I'm really sorry for keep dragging you all down. But talking to you all helps a damn sight more than talking to that old trout.

I hope you are all good tonight. xx

What a cow.How dare she judge you.She should be reported.

The only people who really understand how hard it is to loose a child are those who are unfortunate enough to experience it.Ive come across some insensitive people in the last four months.Only last week at a childrens party I was told 'Yes but you are lucky to have Lucy" I know that of course but being told that made me feel v angry.I just said 'Yes forgive me,but I dont FEEL v lucky at the moment'Really I wanted to say f&*k off and I hate swearing.