Desperate for a baby. Is anyone elses DH feeling the pressure? What should we do?

[cloudwine]

Hi ladies
Hi ladies

We have found out that I'm no longer ovulating and have taken Clomid for the last 3 months. We've been advised by my GP to have sex every other day from day 10-21 to ensure we hit the right time- I'm pretty sure I ovulate around day 17-18. Recently DH has found it difficult to orgasm (probably as we're both exhausted!) which is leading to frustration and more pressure than we're already under (we've been told we can only have 6 months of Clomid)

Has anyone else found themselves tiring of sex by ovulation day? Can we have sex less often or is this reducing our chances further? I'm worried that by not doing it enough we may miss our chance

Please be gentle, I'm feeling pretty fragile at the mo!

Not had any experience of Clomid but I would say that having less sex would mean you have less chance of becoming pregnant. Plus if you don't conceive you'll kick yourself for not doing it often enough.

My DH found sex a chore when we were TTC DS so this time round we're determined to make it more fun - maybe give him a massage, take a shower/bath together and recapture why you feel in love in the first place will have relieve the stress and give you more energy for the bedroom.

Sounds like the pressure isn't going to disappear but hopefully you can both find ways of relieving it a little.

Good luck!

Thanks tigersmummy
Your suggestions make total sense and we do try to keep it fun by doing those things. It's not having the choice about when we have sex and feeling like we have to to make a baby that's adding to the pressure. Whenever we take a night off I keep thinking 'what if that was my most fertile time'.
Anyone else feeling like this? DH says the more often we do it, the longer it takes, if he is able to (ahem) finish at all.

On a slightly more Friday night tone... finger up the bum can help some men finish...

Or there's the v unromantic turkey baster method... there's a thread on here somewhere.

how about getting a clear blue fertility monitor so you know when you need to start trying more exactly?

I would be kind to yourselves and only make love when you both feel like it and not when you think its ovulation time (which is nigh on impossible to self determine anyway). Ovulation is not an exact science and a woman can ovulate earlier, later or not at all in any given cycle. You need to take the pressure off you otherwise you will be driven half mad by it all. I think the advice your GP has actually given you is duff to be honest - sex two or three times a week throughout the cycle is fine.

Re the clomid are you being monitored whilst on this drug treatment, if not you should be!. Otherwise you have no way of knowing whether its working or not.

Refrain too from using any type of monitor whilst on clomid as it can give false readings.

at delilahbelle- I said desperate but not that desperate!

Thanks nanny1. I know they're brilliant for some girls on here but apparently not great in my case as they don't account for any changes in hormones caused by Clomid.

Attila, I totally see where you're coming from making love when we want, but if I'm honest this ttc malarkey has gone on for that long, I very rarely feel like it

Is it really essential to start at day 10? I really am pretty sure there are all the signs of ovulation on day 13 at the earliest. Has anyone else been given the same or different advise by a fertility expert?

cloudwine

How long have you been ttc?. Any consultant/fertility unit involvement to date?.

Not essential to start at day 10 at all; I was advised to have sex throughout the cycle.

I would say if sex less often means he is more likely to finish then surely that means you have more chance of becoming pregnant than doing it really often but him never finishing?