Does your partner support you with chronic migraines?

[Deolow]

Hi all, I suffer from chronic migraines for almost 25 years now.. I am a new mom and find it extremely difficult to raise my baby with my excruciating migraines I get almost everyday.. just out of curiosity, how does your partner handle this?

If your too ill to look after the baby then your partner should be doing it.

Takes it in his stride mostly - he isn't overly sympathetic (seen it 100's of times before) and doesn't fuss, but he gets on with whatever needs to be gotten on with whilst I'm out of action. He'll sometimes roll his eyes and remark "That's you in bed all day then", so I understand it is exasperating if you have plans or chores, but he knows I'm not doing it on purpose.

Over the last 23 years he has collected me from a work thing when I couldn't drive, he's helped me to bed and brought me drugs, he's fetched and carried water and cold flannels and fans and patted me kindly when I've insisted I'm dying, he's put ear buds in my ears when I can't move but he knows music can help. He's stepped calmly around me when I've been struck down whilst camping in tents and caravans.

We don't have children though, all he has to take care of is himself and the dog. 😊

I assume your being treated medically for the migraines- whatever it is that they have given you for the migraine clearly isn't working you need to tell them this it could be something more serious

We both have chronic migraine and are currently caring for a newborn. Usually we prioritise quickly treating the migraine at the beginning to minimise its duration. Mine is managed mostly through nerve blocks and VNS. Partner is waiting to see a neuro so currently only manages acute attacks with medication, as preventatives haven't worked.

If we both have a severe migraine at the same time, a relative comes over to help. Really the priority is treating the migraine as quickly as possible to minimise disruption. X

Think if you are reaching point that you can’t cope then worth looking at any disability benefits you can get that would enable household to reduce working hours. Even 2 extra afternoons off work a week and being at home would give you lot more support so you can rest. Obviously hard call but sometimes it can be tempting to say “just migraines” when if person that was sick from say cancer and couldn’t get out bed or stop being sick others around them would be more sympathetic to change. Rather than assuming you can just drag yourself through each day

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

I assume your being treated medically for the migraines- whatever it is that they have given you for the migraine clearly isn't working you need to tell them this it could be something more serious

Currently I am taking Rizatriptan almost every day as I won't be able to get through the day otherwise.. I've been to see a neurologist about two weeks ago and she prescribed calcium channel blockers..so far no luck.. the other treatment she suggested was botox, I think it is worth a try..

@Blutopia

Takes it in his stride mostly - he isn't overly sympathetic (seen it 100's of times before) and doesn't fuss, but he gets on with whatever needs to be gotten on with whilst I'm out of action. He'll sometimes roll his eyes and remark "That's you in bed all day then", so I understand it is exasperating if you have plans or chores, but he knows I'm not doing it on purpose.

Over the last 23 years he has collected me from a work thing when I couldn't drive, he's helped me to bed and brought me drugs, he's fetched and carried water and cold flannels and fans and patted me kindly when I've insisted I'm dying, he's put ear buds in my ears when I can't move but he knows music can help. He's stepped calmly around me when I've been struck down whilst camping in tents and caravans.

We don't have children though, all he has to take care of is himself and the dog. 😊

So happy that your husband takes good care of you.. best of luck to you..😊😊

Botox was transformative for me - if she is offering it, i would rip her hand off.

If you are taking rizatriptan every other day does your neurologist know? You are probably getting rebound headaches from taking too many.

I was given strict instructions of never more than 2 a week or 6 in a month - total nightmare but it did make my migraine better and I could actually sense them triggering the migraine to be longer when i took too many.

Yes, he's pretty supportive these days but has had moments where he's frustrated that I can't function which I understand.
It's also stopped us adopting children which has been incredibly hard.

I'm now on CRGP injections and am down to a max 4-5 migraines per month.

How on earth are you getting rizatriptan prescribed on that scale though? Most GPs and neurologists will restrict you to a maximum of 12 per month to prevent the rebound headaches.

Your partner should be helping you. Previous partners have struggled to understand how bad they are for me.

I'm on beta blockers now abs migraine free. Amitriptyline reduced them but wasn't a patch on beta blockers

Suffered for years and years with epileptic migraines. I don't think you should be taking triptans daily. They should only prescribe 6 a time. 2 in each 2 episode. There are way better triptans for an attack. You need to change them. It sounds like you need a much better preventative than taking daily triptans. Amitriptyline or propanol or topiramite. You need to push to see neurology asap. Your GP can also give a triptan injection.

My DH takes it all in his stride now he makes sure I have my water and drugs and knows to leave me alone and look after the DC. In the past he’s had to collect me from work and give me his coat to be sick in, carry me on holiday, cleaned up sick more times than I can count.

As I said on the other thread I’m on topiramate daily and sumatriptan for attacks which don’t always work. I have issues with my neck and hess as from my fibromyalgia so practically always have a sore head

Current dh is a fab support. Exes were absolutely crap. Including one who kept saying I looked fine despite puking madly down the loo.
Dc +migraine are a bloody awful combination.. You need and are entitled to support for hkirseamd with your dc...

In general my husband will get away with doing pretty much as little as he can get away with but when I'm physically out of action with a migraine he always steps in and does whatever needs doing. Luckily the pattern of my migraines means I can nearly always hold then at bay until 5/6pm, but very occasionally he's had to come and pick me up from work because I couldn't drive.

He absolutely understands that if I'm out of action it's because I literally can't stand up. I am obviously incredibly grateful to him when I can just collapse on the bathroom floor and not have to worry about anything else, but on the other hand it would take a very special kind of dickhead NOT to step in and look after his own kids in that situation!!

Thank you for all your replies and kind words.. I am definitely overusing Rizatriptan, I just fell in this bad cycle because I find it almost impossible to look after my toddler while I am hanging over the toilet and can barely see through my eyes. My husband helps when he can but is mostly at work, my family also lives far away from me, so it's just me..my never-ending migraines causes me so much anxiety, also probably a trigger in itself.. I am really hoping that the botox can help me, really am routing for it..

It is awful. I am getting less migraines from botox and I recently discovered this so I take salt/iodine capsules at night and in the am and they are helping. She has videos on youtube explaining how migrainers do not hold potassium in the cells or something like that.

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