My mother is rasping on the phone.

[Flightattendant]

Excuse the odd question. Probabl;y sounds mad.

I just rang my mum and she said she was 'making something' but would not tell me what 'in case it does not work'.

later in the conversation I could hear the sound of a small to medium dog in the background. I asked her about it and she said it was a rasp. (as in a type of hand tool?)

She said my father is not there, it is her.

Help me please. This is not good is it.

Well we have agreed no presents this year, but she doesn't feel comfortable with that.

She is trying to get round it by making me something, I think.

with a rasp.

See you using the words 'your mother' and DIY' in the same sentence without wincing visibly just shows that you do not understand

rasp (rsp)
v. rasped, rasp·ing, rasps
v.tr.

1. To file or scrape with a coarse file having sharp projections.
2. To utter in a grating voice.
3. To grate on (nerves or feelings).

so was she filing something or just getting on yer nerves

She is deffo making you a kennel and giving you a puppy for christmas.

Sorry if inappropriate but I thought you caught her and your dad at a "busy" time and she was gasping for breath

maybe she was adding another notch to the bedpost when you rang?

Lol! I am so intrigued to know what it is - please update us on Friday!

LOL thankyou for the suggestions

I am hiding behind a cushion as I do not wish any further graphic and strangely unerasable images to enter my mind

yy I will update on friday...

pmsl flightattendant

AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't do that to me!!!!!!

Oh my sweet lord.

Please no.

oh that is fucking hilarious humpty

And it was probably 10 inch diameter!

and hope your mum doesn;t let the small dog get hold of it...

muttletoe is it made of hard wood or hard as wood???? Jesus I couldn't think of a play on words for my business as good as that if I thought about it forever!!!!!

only one better than that would be a stone mason called "Rockhard"!!!!

flight maybe your dad's present to you is some sandpaper in case its too big

I like humpty and her filithy mind thought your mum was ermmm rung mid ermm job....

oy, who you calling filthy minded "filthy". When I said granny and grandad were "busy" I thought they were writing xmas cards or some similar innocent activity.

do you get out of breath writug xmas cards?

humpadumpy is a fibber...

Just misread the website - thought it said each one was individually tested. Mind was boggling when I realised that it said listed.

Very relieved.