What are your Christmas arrangements if both grandparents live some distance away?

[EightiesChick]

Since getting married me and DH have always had Christmas Day on our own, regardless of who we had to stay or visited before or after. Now we have DS we can see that's going to go out of the window. Both our parents live some distance away, so a day's visit is feasible for one lot but in practice it's best for them to stay over.

How do those of you with DC where the grandparents don't live locally arrange things at Christmas? Do you go to them, or them to you and for how long? And do you change it round each year, or stick to the same place and arrangement each time? Would be interested to know.

We alternate - it's my parents this year. Will probably go over on Christmas eve and then see friends in the evening, and stay over again on Christmas night. We're then planning on visiting the inlaws sometime over the weekend after.

Is your DS the first GC?

If we had a bigger house we'd have people here, but we don't have the space and our arrangement means I never have to cook

When my FIL (who was A Christmas NUT!!) was alive we used to have Christmas morning at home, then at about 10.00 get in the car and drive to Yorkshire - 250 miles with practically no other cars on the road - in time for Christmas lunch. It was wonderful - the children slept all the way and were raring to go with all their cousins when they got there. And dp and I had a bag if delicious things to eat in the car as we went.

It sounds mad - but it worked.

Depends on yours and parents circumstances

Luckily my birthday is a few days before Christmas, so we usually go to my parents for that, then have Christmas with DH's parents either at theirs or at ours, with or without SIL et al.

It helps that my sister is still single and goes home for Christmas so my parents aren't by themselves - DH's sis is married with family of her own so unless we co-ordinate carefully elderly PIL could end up rattling around by themselves in their isolated Welsh farmhouse, inducing guilt and misery all round.

Add to that that SIL's house is too small to have guests to stay, that BIL does not get on with MIL if left unattended etc etc and it seems a small price to pay to have the whole lot to stay at ours, even if it means cooking solidly all week and queuing for the bathroom.

We roughly alternate every year but it isn't set in stone. Before children we would travel to parents but now we ask them to come to us, travelling with small children and all the presents and doing the Santa thing in someone else's house just doesn't make me feel all that Christmassy tbh

Usually we spend Christmas Day on our own and then see family on Boxing Day or a day or two later

DH is an only child so we are the IL's only family, my brothers and sister are single so go to my Mum's every year so often we see IL's on Boxing Day then my Mum a few days later.

I would love to have everyone here every year but our house is just too small.

oh and do not do what we did when dd was 4m
We drove 100m east to spend a night with one set, then 200m west (yes, back past our house) to spend a few nights with the others, then a further 200m north to see SIL while staying in a hotel, then a further 200m home.

dd didn't sleep and nor did we, the hotel was ghastly, the weather was awful and we needed a holiday when we got home to recover

This was what sparked off our hosting Christmas last year...

well my parents only live 12 miles away, but my mum drops my sister off to me on christmas eve then goes home to spend a quiet christmas with my dad. then she comes back on boxing day to fetch my sister, and spends most of the day with us. my dad will phone and say happy christmas to us all, but he isnt too well so he doesnt come over. as for their other set of grandparents, lets just say, they dont bother with the kids the rest of the year, so why should they make an exeption as christmas

we do the same as seeker - drive on xmas day because the roads are clearer than on xmas eve. only thing to bear in mind is there are often no loos because all the service stations close !!

we dont do one year at home, one year away because we like to be flexible

this year we're going to inlaws, last xmas my sis and her family came
year before we wentto my mums, came home boxing day and three hours later inlaws came for two nights, l was manic!
i have a strict never go away for more than two nights rule