clash of traditions -trouble already!

[themulledmanneredjanitor]

pil moved abroad when i was pregnant with ds2. ds1 was very young too.
so we have always had christmas at home or at my parents house and our tradition is..they wake up and have their stockings in bed, then we go downstairs and open the presents.usually about 7.am!

this year-pils are in the uk for christmas and are hosting christmas. and we are going to spend it with them.

they want to adhere to the tradition that they had when dh was a child. you have your stocking. then you come downstairs-have breakfast, tidy up, get showered and dressed, get the dinner in the oven and then when everyone is sitting down with a gin and tonic-you can open presents.

i think it would HUGELY unfair on my children to do this t them. they have done christmas a certain way their whole lives and now , we are going to bring them downstairs, show them a load of gifts and say 'but you can't open them yet'

if they were 12 or something then fair enough, they would be able to understand but they are not. they are 5 and 8 and so excited.

so what is the solution?

No am not a MIL. I htink you can stagger presents opening.

Yes you can stagger opening presents but that is not how TMMJ and her DH have done it over the years.

My point is that they are adults so why ot go with the way the children have always done it??

My dc open our presents and any under tree when they get up and open any from GP's etc when they are given them.

If i were TMMJ i would just get up and do the usual. Leave the GP's to give out their gifts to the children when they finally get themselves organised.

I know TMMJ has moved on but as is mumsnet tradition I feel the need to express my view too!

Obviously this is about more that the presents. I thought the comment about them choosing to live abroad etc. was unfair. They didn't choose to have grandchildren, you did and why should they change their life plans for you and and your children.

PIL 1 TMMJ 0.

However the comment about FIL being nearby but not coming to see the GC was a bit too far and too mean

PIL 1 TMMJ 1

At first I was with the ILs about the present opening, not because I think it's the best way to do it but because it's their house, their way and it's good for the children to realise it's not always about them and their ways.

PIL 2 TMMJ 1

But then I thought about it and really it is a kids day, and when TMMJ said that it seemed just like any other day that seemed really sad. I know my mum will be completely different. She's not here Christmas morning but if she was she would probably wake DD up herself at stupid o'clock just to see her open the presents (DD is 18mo so won't give a fig!)

PIL 2 TMMJ 2

Taking an over all balance I can see there is more going on here than Christmas traditions, but compromise is the best solution. The ILs do sound a bit bah humbug and I like TMMJ so I'm giving her an extra point for that.

PIL 2 TMMJ 3.

pmsl! I WON!!!!!! ha ha ha!!!!! i KNEW i was right!!!!!!

They will be fine. We have always opened stockings in bed. DH then tries to light a fire! Then we have main presents mid morning. we did this even when the children were small.