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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

anyone else not celebrate christmas? advice please!

67 replies

asuwere · 09/12/2008 21:36

please tell me how you deal with people (mainly old) randomly asking DC what they want from Santa... DS1 is only 2.6 so generally just goes shy when strangers speak to him, DS3 is only a baby and I just ignore them... it really annoys me though and I'm close to shouting "SANTA DOESN'T EXIST!"

should i just continue to ignore them or should I enlighten them that not everyone celebrates christmas/santa??

OP posts:

Majeika · 09/12/2008 21:40

why dont you do xmas?

Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 21:42

a few reasons but mainly neither DH or I are religious and we hate the commercialism of it.

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breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 21:43

a friend of mine was brought up as a jehovah's witness, and her response to anyone was always, 'we dont celebrate xmas' usually people just shut up, but some did ask why and she just told them plain and simple it wasnt what she was raised to do.

nbee84 · 09/12/2008 21:44

I look after 2 children that are Jewish - so do not celebrate Christmas. I just say that they are Jewish, don't celebrate Christmas but they are looking forward to Hanukkah. I usually get blank looks and they scurry away

Majeika · 09/12/2008 21:44

we dont do it either and the relief is immense but we still have fun.........

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 09/12/2008 21:50

so asuwere, leaving aside present times (no pun intended), what are you going to do in the future when your children are asking you why they don't have Christmas like their friends? I don't think saying 'we're not religious and it's too commercial' is really going to cut it tbh. What elderly folk are coming with now is the least of your worries. Can I urge you to develop some holiday tradions at the very least? Modest gift giving could be one of those!

maretta · 09/12/2008 21:51

Of course santa doesn't exist. I'm not religious but believing in santa is such a fond memory of childhood.
People are just being nice because the majority of people you meet do celebrate.
I'm sure if it offends you, you can just say, I'm sorry we don't celebrate Christmas.

maretta · 09/12/2008 21:55

I agree with Northern Lurker.

Christmas does not have to be religious or commercial. It's good to have a day that everyone ideally can look forward to, no work etc. It can be a time where you just enjoy being with your family.

Can I ask if your children will have any celebrations in their lives.

Hulababy · 09/12/2008 21:57

Of course people know that there are some people who don't celebrate Christmas. However as the majority do and the majoirty of those who do also enjoy the whole FC story, I suspect these people are just being nice, being friendly to your children. Which is surely always a good thing?

Why can't you just politely answer that you don't celebrate Christmas and then just leave it?

You will need to broach this at some point anyway. You will need to have some explanation for your children, and to ensure they don;t go around school telling other children FC isn't real and the like, etc. Just as you wish people to accept your beliefs and thoughs ont he Christmas issue, you will need to consider how you treat other people's thoughts too.

Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 22:01

of course the children will have celebrations... I think it's ridiculous to suggest that my children will suffer at school because they don't have christmas... My children will understand what the meaning of christmas is and if they decide they want to become Christian then I won't stop them.

I enjoy being with my family every day and don't think a day of throwing presents at them is necessary, especially on a religious day when I don't follow that religion.

OP posts:

breaghsmum · 09/12/2008 22:02

xmas can be such a wonderful opportunity for creating fantastic memories for both you and DCs but i would disagree that you should establish traditions to save rows with children in the future. you can have a memorable christmas without entering into the religious or commercial aspect of it. and your children do not have to believe in santa to do so. even if you dedicate the day to a family meal and games for the children, although yours are young. a nice long walk together. im sure if you had a think you would come up with something to make the day special without having to wrap a single present or visit any grottos.

Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 22:04

sorry cross-posts Hula - no, I totally understand other people's beliefs and DC know that other people believe in santa and they will respect that.

I was just curious if other people actually said to strangers that they don't celebrate it or if they just ignored it as I have been doing...

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Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 22:06

I still don't think the day needs to be special at all. If it's your beliefs then fine, but no need to make it a special day just for the sake of it.

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NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 09/12/2008 22:07

Asuwere - if you don't think that school and the attitudes of their friends won't make a difference to your children then you are living in cloudcuckooland Can I ask when you stopped celebrating Christmas - did your parents celebrate it?

lisalisa · 09/12/2008 22:09

nbee84 - that's nice. As a jewish person i appreciate that you dont' roll eyes or feel embarrassed for the children you look after or bad on their behalf and to link the looking forward to chanukah - that also gives the kids a good message too that they have something to look forward to.

DasherDancerPrancerFMVixen · 09/12/2008 22:13

Even if you are not christian, the tradition of celebrating at this dark time of year goes back thousands of years (yuletide (winter solstice), Misthra, etc) and is quite compelling...

I have friends who celebrate the season as a time to think of others - they wrap up presents for local charities - homeless, Womean's aid etc, then have a nice meal and go for a walk.

Seems a little joyless to not do anything special in a county where the majority of people acknowledge it as a holiday.

Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 22:14

so you seriously think that I should celebrate Christmas because otherwise my children won't be able to fit in at school? that's utterly ridiculous.

I have never liked christmas. My mother is a Christian and she celebrates it as a religious holiday. As soon as I was old enough, I have said I didn't want any presents and I have never bought my children presents.

It's not like my children are missing out - they get what they need when they need it.

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DasherDancerPrancerFMVixen · 09/12/2008 22:15

you can be moral and spiritual without being religious, you know. Crack a smile...go on...

BellsCarolsNSleighs · 09/12/2008 22:18

I have to agree that when the dc's are at school they will feel left out.. other religions have their celibrations and special times etc.
I understand what you are saying.. but as posted above.. christmas doesn't need to be neither commercial nor religious.

just a nice family time to break up the winter months.

LynetteScavo · 09/12/2008 22:18

asuwere - what do you do on Christmas day?

breaghsmum - I agree.

Where I grew up there were lots of families who weren't Christian, but never the less put up a tree, and had a nice luch on Christmas day _ although not traditional turkey etc. They didn't give each other presents at Christmas either, but they did at other times of year.

I think Christmas now has gone beyond being about the birth of Jesus for many/ the majority of people in this country - but it's sad that people see it as having to be a comercial/ materialistic time of year.

Surely there is a happy medium where the beggining of longer days or something can be celebrated.

Oh, and all of you who think Santa doesn't exist are wrong!

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 09/12/2008 22:19

Ok bluntly I think your children are missing out and you are missing out on a special time. It doesn't have to be religous, it doesn't have to be laden with gifts but Christmas is widely celebrated in this country and to turn your back on that holiday tradition without any sort of family, cultural or religious celebration to put in its place seems to me to be an impoverishing act. I don't expect you to agree with me - you seem perfectly happy with your decision - but I would not be being honest if I didn't say that I think your position is flawed.

LynetteScavo · 09/12/2008 22:21

asuwere - I think you should say to questioning strangers " I don't like Christmas, so we don't celebrate it"

It would shut them up PDQ.

Cies · 09/12/2008 22:21

If you don't celebrate Christmas, do you celebrate any other time? It's nice to have some sort of celebration.

Do you explain to your dc why you don't celebrate Christmas? This obviously will come up with them soon enough, when one goes to nursery or school.

I have to say, you do sound very defensive about it. A little bit of cheer never did anyone any harm. You don't have to give presents if you don't want, but maybe think of it as a nice time to do something a little different, seeing as you have 2 bank holidays in a row if nothing else.

nbee84 · 09/12/2008 22:22

Thank you lisalisa

I've been looking after them for 6 months now so am learning with the children about the different festivals. They have far more of an understanding about the reason behind the festivals than many children have about Christmas, Easter etc.

I am even learning my Hebrew alphabet and am up to He

Original poster

asuwere · 09/12/2008 22:23

there is clearly no point in me saying anything else. I asked a simple question for advice on a situation. Apparently, it seems though I am an awful mum who is depriving her children and it is ridiculous that I'm not doing something that 'everyone else does'.

Thanks to the first few posters who answered my question.

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