anyone else not celebrate christmas? advice please!

[asuwere]

please tell me how you deal with people (mainly old) randomly asking DC what they want from Santa... DS1 is only 2.6 so generally just goes shy when strangers speak to him, DS3 is only a baby and I just ignore them... it really annoys me though and I'm close to shouting "SANTA DOESN'T EXIST!"

should i just continue to ignore them or should I enlighten them that not everyone celebrates christmas/santa??

I love Christmas, we celebrate it and I am not religious at all. To us it is a special celebration day to eat, drink and be merry and I couldn't give a toss about the commercialism of christmas myself. So if someone told me I shouldn't celerate christmas because I am not Christian I would tell them to naff off.

Equally, it is your choice not to celebrate Christmas and I respect your choice, but you do have to consider the fact that this is "not what everyone else does" so you will have to tackle the situation with this in mind, especially with regard to your children and the "Christmasness" they will encounter. Don't change what you do, but no need to have an attitude about it. I do take offence at your implicit meaning that we are all sheep BTW, we all have our own take and reasons for our own Christmas celebrations and traditions and respect goes both ways. Damning others for doing what "everyone else does" is abit too try hard if you ask me, you might as well get a t-shirt saying "I don't celebrate Christmas, aren't I alternative".

There is also an incredible bonding experience at this time of year with everybody - hence the turn of conversation. Everyone feels they are gearing up to something (even if some of us dash around in a mad panic)...it would be a shame to not have an outlet for that sense of excitement - whatever form it takes.

God, it sounds really 'bah humbug' to me. Rather meanspirited and determinedly joyless.

lisalisa - definitely not a 'glamorous' nanny! You can usually tell me from the mums as they have real Ugg boots on and drive 4x4's and my Uggs are from Tesco and I drive a 6 year old rover

To me, speakingas an atheist, Christmas is a festival thatr the Christians nicked off the pagans and I celebrate it because I believe traditions bind ccommunities together and I love the focus on charity and family.Winter also needs a focus to get us through the dark and cold.

Perfectly possible to have a lovely holiday with no commercial influences - as others have said gifts don't haver to cost anything.Telling your children fairy tales and mythhs is part of the magic of childhood - using their imagination. To me the nativity and father Christmasis are both lovely stories and I love the fact I was in the nativity play at school and so are my kids.

I think it's sad to cut yourself off from 100s of years worth of your country's traditions and very bah humbug
Dare you to get a tree - nothing to do with religion and such a lovely thing to do in the dark winter - bring nature in and have lights.

OP's dcs will soooo be in therapy when they're adults.

I have two friends who specifically cite crap joyless Christmases as the reason they most dislike their parents.

Blimey.

My siblings and I regularly talk about how left out we felt socially as kids becuase we had hippy type parents who eschewed commercialism, junk food, fashionable clothes etc.

But we had wonderful, full-on christmases. I just can't imagine a childhood without that.

I still have issues with my mum for making we wear embarrassing unfashionable clothes and take wholefood lunches to school. If she'd cancelled christmas too I may have no relationship with her at all!

Adults can do as they please but no matter how much you explain to your kids why you don't do christmas I can't see any way in which they would be OK with it as they get older and see their friends and the entire world having fun, treats and presents when they aren't.

This is why I think it will be interesting if she were to post in 5 yrs time,MorrisZapp,-it is easy with DCs under 3 but I don't know how you manage when they are aware of what is going on. Just for interest I looked at my local paper today and there were 7 articles relating to Christmas on the first 2 pages-I gave up counting after that! It is so much part of the culture it just can't be ignored.

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch - we do a similar thing

Our own mad kind of version of Christmas and nature that fits in with society but celebrates the time of year in our own way. Kids do not miss out, house is still festive and lovely, we all have a great time. We allow our kids to go to a CofE school (only one available) and keep our non Christian stance quiet for now - when our girls question us, we will be happy to discuss issues but no need to clutter or confuse them now when they are happy with simple truths and ideas.
If you are not Christian or religiously tied, I still think there is plenty to find to celebrate at this time of year. You can still "do" Festive without it being religious or materialistic. Plenty of us do exactly this, very quietly and in our own way, every year.

Yes, I'm an atheist and I think thousands of years of traditions are worth respecting. We NEED a winter festival with fires and lights and feasting and fun (and I really love carols too!)

I bet asuwere's DC's go for Christmas big time as adults.

Also Christmas is such a nice festival - a winter festival is trad for everyone (diwali, hannukah) it's about a baby, which kids really get, and it's about light, which makes total sense in these dark months. I just think, instead of being grimly utilitatarian and making a big hurrah about being miserable, make it a festival that corresponds to your values. Give to charity. Organise the school mulled wine afternoon with proceeds to charity. Cook a meal and invite your neighbours. Make it real for you. Surely better than humbugging away.
I have recently made some simple costumes for the kids Christmas play because some parents are unable/unwilling to do so and the kids would otherwise be left out. I loved to do it because it made me feel good, the children will be able to wear a costume and feel part of things, and it's a total win-win solution and very Christmassy. Find your own meaning.

What about when relatives and friends buy your children Christmas gifts?
Will your children not wonder why you are not giving and only receiving every year?

I'm not religious in the slightest, but I love the celebrations of Christmas, especially now I have children. Its a lovely famly time to be together and just enjoy ourselves.
We spend very little on presents for the children but get a lot of pleasure in return by seeing their excited faces at opening the small gifts and just enjoying being with all the wider family for a get together.

OP, you don't need to be defensive with the people who ask DCs what they want from Santa. You could just say, "oh, we aren't doing all that Santa thing, thanks for asking". And if they want to give a gift- thanks very much, but it'll come from them not Santa. That's up to you!

DH and I don't exchange gifts at Christmas, we don't have a special meal, we don't have decorations. People think we are weird but honestly, why bother explaining yourself, you can just skim over it and say that you have a quiet family time at home as you aren't Christian/ don't go big on Xmas. No need to be defensive or go into lots of detail, as you won't be able to convert people- trust me! There are a few of us around and we're not just sad killjoys, we just do things differently. So, for example, I'll get DH and DD presents when I see them during the year, if I think they'll like them.

DD won't get any pressies this year either (but then, she is only one!). In future years I can see us doing a few bits and bobs for her, if she asks for it as all her peers are doing it. If it doesn't cost much, isn't explicitly religious and makes her happy, I can't see the harm. I like to see her smile, after all!

We don't do FC, and never have. My family didn't either when I was growing up, and as I went to a Catholic school I'm not sure FC was much of a feature there either.

I too find it a little annoying with all the "what is Santa giving you" this year, but that's because I am a strong believer that it is much more important to know that people who love you give you presents, rather than the whole FC comes down your chimney stuff. But I really don't see why you need to feel so cross at old people, who are just trying to be friendly, even if you feel it is misguided. Saying " I'm afraid we don't do Father Christmas" is a perfectly reasonable response.

I too think it is a little sad not to celebrate at all at Christmas, but each to their own. I do think you will have to think about how you will explain this to your children in a way they will understand and be happy with, because not only will you have to go on explaining to strangers (and friends and acquaintances) but your children will too.