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Christmas

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Original poster

Father xmas the truth is 8 to old to still believe?

33 replies

singingmum · 20/10/2008 14:39

My dd is 8 and we've just found out that her best friend knows all about santa(older siblings).Now we are left this close to xmas as she starts to get excited with the big Q.Do we tell her or not.She still believes in the tooth fairy and magic etc and although as HEers we don't worry about her being told in school her friend is around more lately.
Is she to old to believe in santa or is it ok to leave it until a later time,like when she's 20(as you can see I hate the fact that my youngest is doing the whole growing up thing although never had prob with my son).

OP posts:

bellavita · 20/10/2008 14:43

My DS2 (9) still believes, even though DS1 (11) does not anymore.

DS1 told me a few months ago that he knew that santa could not go out and buy everything for everyone in the whole wide world and had worked out that it was mums and dads that did it for their children. However, he has still done his xmas list and still talks about santa in front of his younger brother

Let them go on believing until they say something to you.

andiem · 20/10/2008 14:45

my ds 8 still believes as well although I think he is having his doubts

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 20/10/2008 14:45

dont ruin it for her.wait till she grows out of it.my dd is 8 and knows santas real.her bf doesnt!but her friend has been told it would be unfair to ruin it for others

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 20/10/2008 14:46

i think i'll cry when mine stop believing

piratecat · 20/10/2008 14:46

if it were me i wouldn't bring it up unless she did.

close friend (HEer too) of mine's dd 7 who is one yr older than my dd)has never been encouraged to believe, and luckily her mum told her 'ok you don't belive but pirate's dd does and you mustn't tell her'.
IF you want dd to carry on believing, or feel she really still enjoys it, then maybe you could ask your friend not to let on. Trub is I guess there ar eplenty more children out there who could let the cat out of the stocking soon!!!

Iloveautumn · 20/10/2008 14:47

Does she really believe or is she pretending so as a) not to upset you!! or b) so the presents don't dry up?!

I personally would not make a thing out of telling her FC is not real, but I don't think it's the end of the world when kids stop believing.

I still loved Christmas just as much when I worked out my mum did the stockings not FC - in fact on some level I think I always knew that really....

Iloveautumn · 20/10/2008 14:50

Although one of my earliest memories is of thinking I saw FC on Christmas Eve night when I was supposed to be asleep and being beside myself crying because I thought it meant I would get coal in my stocking (we lived in Germany and my mum told us that to get us to go to sleep!)

Looking back I can see how frustrated my parents must have been that they couldn't just tell me I CANT have seem him cos he wasn't real!!

Original poster

singingmum · 20/10/2008 14:54

She really does believe thats the reason we are having prob with this.
When my son was 8 he watched a cartoon movie about the real saint nick and we sat and told him that he could choose to believe or not and we would go with what he wanted.He chose to believe for another 2 yrs and then told us that was enough now.Was so much easier as he wasn't into faries more of a sci-fi fan by then but dd is big fary fan.
Suppose I just needed to know that it's ok to let her cont. believing.So many litle ones aound who grow up to fast and stop when really young just needed reassurance that she's not the only one

OP posts:

sparklesandnowinefor4days · 20/10/2008 14:57

DS1 is 10 and still believes

i think i'll cry when he stops believing

LadyPenelope · 20/10/2008 15:03

DD is 7 and think she's on the verge of not believing ... but still wants to believe. Last Christmas Eve she was terrified that Santa would come in her room, had to leave a note for him outside to say that he was to leave her presents and stocking UNDER TREE and NOT come in her room. A bit like Iloveautumn ... I did think that it might be easier just to tell her the truth!

IdrisTheDragon · 20/10/2008 15:05

Please don't actually tell her. I am still remembering when my mum and dad told me - I cried then as well. Of course I knew it wasn't the case but having someone else telling me made it worse somehow

bigTillyMint · 20/10/2008 15:13

My DS(6 1/2 at the time!) stopped believing before last Christmas - he was very sceptical the year before, too. But DD (then 8) still believed and was upset that he wouldn't. Neither believe now, but we're going to keep up the pretence!

mumeeee · 20/10/2008 16:37

No 8 is not to old to believe. My niece is 9 and she still believes. DD2 and 3 believed until they were 11 in fact DD3 was nearly 12.
They didn't have any problem with others not believing.
Please don't tell her.

fartmeistergeneral · 20/10/2008 16:39

I'm 40 and I kind of still believe!

Still check the NORAD site on Xmas eve!

ReallyspookyBCNSgrrrrr · 20/10/2008 16:42

well.. Father christmas only comes to those who believe..and those who don't have to get pressys from family or there would be an empty stocking.. and at some point people stop believing which is why parents fill in for the ig man .. thought everyone knew that!

witchandchips · 20/10/2008 16:50

I remember it being a bit like the episode of friends where everyone finds out about monica and chandler
i knew that he was not real but did my mother know that knew
My mother knew that i had stopped believing but did i know that she kenew
and so on.
this lasted at least two christmases and then all was out in the open when me + my younger sister made a stocking up for her.

Chamomile · 20/10/2008 16:53

Here, it's DS2 (7) who is having doubts and DS1 almost 9 is still a firm believer. Ds1 pointed out that FC must be real or half the parents in the country would be bankrupt.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 20/10/2008 17:02

realy suprised you havent got moaned at for the title you know

8 is not too old, let her grow out of it on her own, my dd has never believed till this year and she is 6 although i think she may be edging her bets Though santa only brings sweets for some reason in our house and mummy etc bring presents.

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 20/10/2008 17:10

My 8 yr old (almost 9) was adding some things to his list this afternoon,and told me some of friends are saying Mums & Dads get the presents.

I asked what he though. His answer:''I told them no way would my mum let my dad spend that much money just on new toys that we never really play with anyway'' !!!!!!

Ah well, as long as he still believes

squilly · 20/10/2008 22:43

My dd was nearly 7 last year and told me she'd been told Santa wasn't real. She asked me whether I still believed in Santa. I said I'd rather believe than not, because it made Christmas more fun. I also said that I understood why some people chose not to believe. That was up to them. But it didn't make them happier at Christmas did it?

I also said I believed in the magic that makes Christmas special. That people are kinder, happier and more generous than at other times of the year. That sounds like magic to me.

I then left it up to her to figure whether she believed or not and she chose to carry on believing. At least for now!

For as long as I possibly can, I'll encourage her to believe the world is a magical place, full of wonder and joy as well as horror and misery. Things aren't always perfect but for one moment, on Christmas Day, we can pretend that they are. I hope your dc believes for as long as possible. Ooohhhh...I lurve Christmas!

asdmumandteacher · 20/10/2008 22:46

My DS1 (aged 9) still believes in Santa and tooth fairy

Plonker · 20/10/2008 22:48

Are you kidding?! ...my dd is 8 and i'll never tell her!

Don't get me wrong, i'm sure she'll figure it all out for herself sooner or later (preferably later!) but she won't hear the words coming out of my mouth!

I still believe

princesspeahead · 20/10/2008 22:52

mine are 8, 10, 5 and 2. The 10 year old probably doesn't believe, but she knows that father christmas only brings presents and stockings to people who DO believe, so she is keeping her doubts to herself. The 8 yr old was a bit sceptical last year, until we watched FC's progress round the world on that brilliant website, and now he is A Believer again. I want to keep it going as long as possible so it doesn't get ruined for the younger 2.

brokenrecord · 20/10/2008 22:52

My dd asked at 8 'is really you mum? and I said yes. One of the worst parenting mistakes I've made yet.

Lots of tears, saying 'Christmas will never be the same' etc, etc.

Now I will answer 'Of course he's real' to any further questions from any other children, whatever their age....

HRHSaintMamazon · 20/10/2008 22:54

i dont want my children to ever stop beleiving in FC.

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