Imagine a Christmas where you just turn up...

[MrsClausCanCanCan]

I'm starting to think about Christmas presents, but money is tight and I'm kind of low on ideas right now, but I was imagining how nice it would be to be the kind of man person who just turns up for Christmas day, opens some presents, eats some nice food then has a relax on the sofa...

I love Christmas and I like the excitement of the lead up, and spending time with my family. We (me, DH and 2 DC) live abroad, so always travel back home and stay with my parents for a couple of weeks. On Christmas day, I do the cooking with help from DH (I get him to do the veg minus the potatoes!), but I have 3 siblings who come with partners so there's a lot of people! The kitchen isn't that big either so getting everyone to chip in isn't very practical, unfortunately.

I was just having a little daydream about how nice it would be to just turn up and wait to be served...

Anyone else?

For the first time ever we are having a Turkey pie! Made the day before and ready to bang in the oven. Will have nibbles while opening gifts and a few desserts for later. Very very simple. Everyone was surprisingly happy with it when it was suggested

Haha, yes, that would be good.
My other Christmas fantasy is that we could host extended family, which we have to do every year, without a crescendo of DH complaints in the run up. 'It's not normal to see anyone beyond immediate family at Christmas.' 'Well, they can come, but they'd better not stay beyond 4pm.' 'We can do lunch, but there won't be tables for them to sit at.' etc etc.
Everyone else in the immediate family enjoys hosting, and everyone helps so it's really not that onerous, but the way DH talks, you'd think we'd never done it successfully before and all the work is down to him. It spoils the whole experience.

There are a lot of people who would like to do the hosting. Sometimes the relatives (men and women) who turn up and seem to just chill say they really wish they were married with kids, and hosting the event.
There's no reason you have to do everything though, if your guests are physically able, you can give them jobs to do. Doesn't have to all be on you.

Daydreaming with you OP! We host every year, I kind of love it, but weirdly, I also kind of don’t!

I'd like that too. I can't remember when I last did that.

I’d love a big Christmas again there’s only the three of us, probably down to two next year when daughter moves to the US

I sort of get this and it is nice. I earn it though - I do the decorations, shopping and wrapping for me and DH, but am categorically not involved in the food when we’re at home for dinner (which we haven’t been for a couple of years but are this year). This includes planning, shopping, prepping or cooking, although I will lay the table and ensure drinks are always topped up.

Not the same as my dad though, who would put the tree together, check and add the lights then just hand money to my mum and get praise and thanks for presents, surprises with us when we opened gifts and a meal cooked for him on the day. That must have been nice!

If it makes you feel any better I never cook for Christmas and tbh I hate it! The people who do are often resentful and snippy about it, and it takes them hours whilst I’m left making awkward small talk with in laws and keeping very overstimulated dc happy, usually in an unchildproofed house. If you offer to help (desperately, to kill some time from the looong afternoon of mind numbing boredom) the people in the kitchen say oo no you go sit down and relax. So off I trot to ‘relax’ again.
I say don’t do the Christmas dinner…and maybe let’s not visit the family either. Let’s just have a pizza and sit on the sofa watching the grinch.

I usually enjoy it all, but this year I would like the Christmas my DH has. Buy present only for OH, knowing someone has bought thoughtful gifts for everyone else. Enjoy the decorations and the food. Get given nice things that I didn’t know I wanted. Nap. Ask if I can “help with anything” once it’s done.

I actually prefer hosting.
I really enjoy spending Christmas Day with the in laws for lots of reasons however I feel like I can’t fully relax and the Christmas Dinner isn’t quite as I like it.
My parents do a fab dinner but there’s less people so it’s quieter especially when they’re both cooking and they bicker dreadfully so it can be a little bit tense.

I don't have to imagine it! 🙌

Plenty of people in my family do that... even when it would be nice if they did help a bit more

My issue is that I like the relaxation of the day, but I also love the planning and preparation. So I guess a perfect Christmas for me would be that I prepare and get everything ready for a couple of months, and then someone comes a long and actually does it all on the day. E.g. I get to do all the planning of the decorating, buying decorations, planning menus, food shops, organizing activities/games, but then someone puts them up and cooks the food, and hosts the party.

Not that it will ever happen like that...

Funnily enough I was about to say the exact same thing! I love the planning and preparation, but on the day I would love someone else to take over.

To be fair, DH is very good and has taken the lead on Christmas Dinner a couple of times, but I just think mine is better. I do want our DD to grow up seeing that he does it as often as I do though, so we tend to alternate who is the lead chef - all the prep is still me though.

Lucky you!

I get that! It sounds like too much to the other extreme! I sometimes think my sister and her husband are bored and would rather be at home doing their own thing - probably pizza and a film!

It's usually my siblings partners who offer to help, but all the useful prep they could probably do (peeling a million potatoes! 😵) is already done! But there's no bickering in the kitchen so hopefully no one is uncomfortable in that respect!

I cant even remember the last time someone hosted me and my family for christmas. I have hosted for 30 odd years now and do love a big Christmas. I have regularly had extra people staying for up to.a fortnight though now it is down to one .
But it is a lot of work . Lunch is now 11 people and I do the cooking so the day itself is a busy one but lovely.
I wouldnt change it to.be honest .⁸

I’ve been fantasising about that for many years 😂

The closest I got was being invited out to Christmas dinner by some friends who were decent cooks, and I was so looking forward to it. Then on Christmas morning got a call to say half the family were ill with a stomach bug….ended up cooking at mine for the half of the family that weren’t ill!

We have three Christmases, the first at FIL's where we just turn up, eat, and open presents, then the one at home that I do the work for, then to MIL's on Boxing Day for another Christmas where we just turn up and do no work. I could just skip the cooking our own Christmas dinner part really but I do enjoy eating leftovers for days and not having to think about cooking until nearly new year

I get that! Quite a bit of the prep is on Christmas eve though, so for most of the guests, I've already done the things they could do to help me, and as I said, it's a small kitchen so many people in it would bring its own challenges!

But you're right, I should think more carefully about jobs that I can delegate!

My parents host every year for my family and siblings family. This is how we do it - someone cooks the turkey to bring, someone cooks the potatoes and vegetables (my parents as this is just easier) someone prepares/cooks the starters and someone will bring desert.

As adults we understand the stress and time it takes to host for family so we all chip in. I get it may not be feasible for everyone to do with travelling and so on, but it works for us.

Why not say you are not cooking this year and for someone else to do it? Or stay home this year and only cook for your small family.

my extended family does this. We have a big family so everyone brings a couple of dishes. Usually two out of main, side and dessert. Everyone gets a bit of the stress but everyone can sit together and eat and it’s all help yourself.

heard of bbc Christmas tray bake sounds easy, maybe try it

Out of interest, what are you serving with the pie? If it’s all the ‘trimmings’ I’m not sure it’s much less work. On the other hand, some new potatoes and salad would be much easier!

Why do you put up with that?

These threads make me realise a tsunami of divorce is coming.

Women, leave the fog. Your husbands are horrible users.