How to make Christmas exciting again?

[BluebellBeth]

My children are all teens or young adults now. I know they're missing the excitement Christmas used to bring with new toys to open and build, new bikes etc to get out and ride on. I remember having a few 'blah' years between growing up and having my own kids where christmas didn't have the same sparkle anymore.

What do you do to keep the excitement? None of them want to bake, getting out can be an issue as one is autistic and hates the crowds so that makes a lot of xmas activities challenging. We try and do Christmas movie nights which can be hit and miss and the day itself just feels a bit flat now too.

I get that @ruralretreatingfood just isn't an exciting thing here for my autistic one so it takes the sparkle off baking, traditional Christmas foods etc as they can't tolerate being around certain foods.

We already have a tradition of doing board games, Christmas light walk and takeaway on Christmas Eve. I like the cocktail/mocktail idea or hiding Santa's. We still do elf on the shelf and just see who randomly moves him whilst everyone denies it.

I’d look at a visit to Efteling winterling or Phantasia. Both amazing xmas theme park experiences. Efteling has bonfires and mulled wine and food stalls the accommodations are magical and it’s not as crowded as the xmas markets

It’s really hard. Last year we just got back from abroad so it was a panic to have any form of Christmas.

Recent changes has been that my daughter loves cooking so spent the whole of Xmas Eve making a wellington which was lovely. It was a joint effort with her dad so they had time together

We try to stick to traditions eg the stocking remains, visiting a gorgeous stately home dressed for Xmas and having a mince pie and mulled wine there, going to some form of theatrical show on the 27/12. A trip to the Cotswolds and a pub lunch is divine as an example. However even just having a local walk and looking at all the lights is lovely. If people are physically maybe go ice skating.

My son is ASD so will tend to hide for most of Xmas day itself and it takes him days to open presents. Luckily he loves the theatre and old houses so we get him out.

It’s also lovely when the cousins and uncles / aunt come together that’s wonderful. We try to go out together to a Christmas thing and it’s great seeing DS now having conversations with his cousins - not something that happened 5 years ago. I just am happy that he is doing that and that his uncle is ok health wise etc

For us it’s great to be together - I barely see my daughter so that’s also a great present. (Oddly Covid was a fantastic Christmas as we got out the karaoke and were all happy to be together back then).

I think that by simply relishing being together it makes it special and that will be the case moving forward. It’s a time to appreciate what you have and make memories.

A lot of Christmas activities near us have SEN times if that would help. It’s usually just one or two days, or the odd time slot that is a ‘quiet’ hour or something. But maybe that would help.
are you able to spend some time with each of them shopping for the others. Like arrange a gift budget and they can buy a gift. Get them thinking about it. You can look at options online if they don’t want to go to the shop, but maybe encourage a bit of light banter around it, who’s picked the best things, who’s going to be most surprised or whatever to build up a bit of anticipation. Or maybe they could be in charge of each others stockings if you do them (or start them if you don’t?) we have a limit for ours and some rules for everyone to stick to, eg something bf to eat, something to read etc. that make it a bit easier and equal, they might really like getting involved. Again you can give a bit of help.
you could take them to volunteer or pick out a toy to donate as well but I think as others have said it’s a focus on traditions and how you might like your christmases to look. You do have to accept it’s different now but that can be nice in another way

Me too please. My lot aren't board games types but we like bingo for prizes.
It's much harder as they get older isn't it.
Going to the pub on Christmas morning this year to get everyone out of the house.
X

Christmas related games we have played

Put 2 dining chairs facing each other and tie a ribbon in between. Take turns standing on one of the chairs and dropping a candy cane to hook onto the ribbon. Winner is the first who takes the least tries to hook their candy cane.

Everyone gets a sheet of paper. 90 seconds to make as many words as you can out of a christmas related word eg christmas, reindeer. Then turn the paper over. 90 seconds to come up with a christmas word for each letter of the alphabet. You only get a point if no one else has your word. Then put the same sheet of paper on top of your head. 90 seconds to tear it into the shape of a christmas tree. The one that looks the closest wins.

Buy a bunch of random items and wrap them. Things that you can't tell what it is are best. Have some "good" items and gag gifts. Then everyone takes turn at rolling the dice. If you get a 6 you can take an item. if you get a 1 you can take something that someone else has already claimed. Keep going until every item has been claimed and then open them to see what you were all fighting over.

Buy one treat item for each person and wrap. Again, things that you cannot tell what they are, are best. Find one of the "left-right" christmas stories online. Everyone starts with an item in front of them and then passes it either left or right as the story is read. You get to keep whatever is in front of you at the end of the story.

Find a charity to support. My local area has reverse advent boxes where over November you fill a box with essential items and it is then donated to a family in need. The kids help me find items on offer so we can put in as much value as possible.

Buy a christmas jigsaw puzzle and set it up on a table where it can sit undisturbed and everyone can have a turn at putting a few pieces in over the holiday season.

Find funny christmas videos on youtube and watch together.

I think I enjoy christmas more with my young adult children than I did when they were little - well that was magical in a different way but a lot of work and pressure.

Christmas starts for us doing a joint volunteer activity on a Saturday in early December. We've done it since they were little. Over the years one or other of them were away in college etc at times but last year it was all of us again and it was lovely.

I still do stockings from santa claus for everyone - including dh and me and the dog - mostly small/funny/interesting things. Like I got a tiny travel pack of hotsauce recently that I will put in DS's stocking. I got a tiny sized pickle jar for dd2 as she loves pickles. Bought t-shirts from where we were on hols - that kind of thing. Now they are older they drop stuff into the stockings that they found that was funny/apt etc.

We get up on xmas morning and I make us something like sausages/bacon/toast or one of them might make pancakes and we have breakfast around the fire opening our stockings. Then we usually go for a walk in the woods nearby and then open presents from each other. Usually people go back to bed or chill or watch a movie together - dds will definitely do a jigsaw - and I make dinner - they will organise cocktails/mocktails for us first. I don't do the big roast (am in US so will have done that for thanksgiving) instead everyone votes in the weeks before and it is usually a simpler really nice dinner. After dinner we always play cards against humanity. I love our day.

I’ve kept up the tradition of writing a Christmas wish list. It just isn’t sent to Santa anymore.

Because all the relatives hound me for ideas, I would draw boxes on a sheet of paper for the dc to suggest gift ideas in different price categories, and then I added other boxes for them to tell me their favourite parts of Christmas, which things were feeling cringe, what treats they wanted me to bake, etc.

I’ve done a version of this every year through their teens. Some years I’ve just done a check box list of activities to see what they wanted to drop and it was an eye opener which bits they enjoy. It’s been a low stakes way to open up a conversation about those things but I also found that they were inclined to take more responsibility for aspects they appreciated and not just expect me to magic up the Christmas spirit for them. They’ve also been very supportive of everyone else’s Christmas pleasures.

We are more inclined towards warm, comfortable and cosy rather than exciting but some of our neighbours like to go for a swim in a nearby lake on Christmas morning.

Lots of ideas there @Icecreamisthebestthanks. And thanks to everyone else too definitely going to take some of these on board

@Bananacrepewithnuts @TooFatToBeTheFly

My board game recommendation would be the race around the world board game. My DS 10 got it for xmas dreaded playing it as usually TV adaptations are rubbish but it’s genuinely brilliant. Two sided bord for long games or short games really interesting game play and also some luck/chance so no guarantee who wins well worth a punt with two teen boys.

@BluebellBeth

One other suggestion with your ND child who doesn’t like crowds is to bring the Xmas market to you. We did bratwurst on the bbq under a gazebo and a camp stove of mulled wine. Baked Camembert and bought a cheap crepe maker.

Invited a few people round and it was very xmasy and a real treat for the GPs who don’t like the market ls as too busy. We’ve done a smaller version xmas day night .

Another thing which was good in terms of excitement was buying a dessert machine for xmas with all the stuff in to use xmas day night. We have done chocolate fountain, waffles maker, crepes or candy floss. Chocolate fountain probably biggest hit

I knew a family who did yearly family games and there was even a cup to win. They would have set games or activities and win points. I was a bit jealous as it sounded so much fun. You could get every person to plan 1 game each so it’s not all on you. Give them a small budget to buy materials if needed. You could give extra points for effort put into their game to help encourage if they don’t seem bothered

I really like this idea

Our Christmas has never really changed. My three are all adults now but we still do almost the same things just in an adult way. When they were little they wrote a wish list to Santa and I made them do it as teens too. Now we have a shared family spreadsheet which everyone can get ideas from. We still do presents and put them under the tree prettily wrapped. I still sprinkle glitter on the floor like footprints. Everything we did when they were small and loved we have continued to do.

DD2 is 17, at that age I remember Christmas becoming Bleh. For the last few years she has helped with the menu planning and on the 23rd we get our Christmas nails, buy last minute gifts and do a late night food shops. The weirdo enjoys the chaos at the shops and just us two running at like headless chickens. It has become our own little tradition.

DD1 will be home from uni. At this stage we all really appreciate everyone being home together. Last year her boyfriend joined us for the week which was lovely. We still do the panto that we've done on Christmas eve since she was 1, although now instead of fruit shoots it's a lot more boozy. As is post dinner monopoly.

I don't think the aim should be exciting, it should be enjoyable. Teens are under a lot of internal/individual pressure - growing up, exams, peers, their future - so Christmas is a chance for some deep connection and comfort, with some traditions and treats.

Don't push your emotional needs onto them!

Christingle and panto are very family oriented, maybe time to do new things.

I'm liking the idea of going to a Christmas themed escape room, might put that down to do this year.

I'm not a board game with family fan, but do like a movie.

Also Christmas themed books in December, if you have similar reading taste maybe all read the same book and discuss it?

When we were late teens/young adults, it became a tradition that we all had to come up with an activity for everyone to take part in, and it was kept secret until being unveiled on Christmas Day. The idea is it’s something you have to put some effort into creating for everyone, so not just picking a game or whatever, but actually making a game or quiz etc. Over the years we’ve had treasure hunts, bizarrely themed quizzes (I once hosted a dinosaur quiz while dressed as a dinosaur), speed cocktail making, donut decorating, making aliens out of recycling… The more original the better! We then space the activities across the day.

I’m in my late 30s with my own family now, so don’t go to see my family for Christmas Day anymore (they live far away), and I honestly look back at those late teens/early adult Christmases as some of the most fun ones, even more so than childhood Christmases. It wasn’t even so much about the activities - it was that everyone was involved, everyone put the effort in, and everyone enjoyed the secret aspect before the big reveal on Christmas Day.

Thanks for understanding @BluebellBeth - I used to love Christmas but find it anxiety-inducing now, trying not just to organise it all but also predict and manage emotions. He doesn’t like films either so movie afternoons are out. I’ve just had an idea though! I might buy a big Christmas Lego set anyway “for the family” that he can do as an activity on Christmas Day.

We still track Santa, and watch Polar Express and Miracle on 34th Street.

My DS is 18 this year and still says the run-up to Christmas is his absolute favourite time of year. It doesn’t need to be exciting to be enjoyable…it’s just different.

The things he loves are the cosy nights in just chilling, having the fire on, family movies or games nights, food and he does love a bit of Christmas baking! We still do a light trail and ice skating as his younger siblings love that and he’ll join.

We are doing something a bit different this year as it’s his big birthday just before Christmas so we’re having a mini-break at one of the European Christmas markets. Never doe that before but it was his birthday request and he’s really excited about it!

I love Christmas more I think now the kids are older..one is now living away from home so it's a time of year when we are all together. We usually try and do a 'Christmas long weekend break' end of November..we've been to Copenhagen, Vienna, Krakow, Cologne but equally love going to a hotel on the coast for good food, beach walks and spa. We all are home on Christmas Eve, we still do a silly Christmas Eve box, everyone piles in the kitchen and does prep and then head off to midnight mass via the pub. On Christmas Day, family and friends descend after lunch and we set up a bar to make cocktails and play stupid games like scrawl or taskmaster. We usually do a panto trip, go to the beach for carols and mulled wine and see friends - lots of eating and drinking and catching up!

Not everyone’s cup of tea but the best thing about my kids being teenagers at Christmas as opposed to little is being able to take them to midnight mass on Christmas Eve.

We are not big church goers at all but we have a lovely local church that does a very accessible midnight mass that isn’t all bible stories etc but a sermon on looking back over the past year, remembering what to be grateful for, and hopes for the year ahead. Followed by everyone belting out carols and then a glass of fizz and a mince pie.

Parlour games! Make a ceremony ot the day- big Christmas lunch which they help make, dress up for it, all choose a good film and box of chocolates in advance and play charades and blind man’s bluff or similar. We go to church as well which always adds more structure to the day. A walk can be good too- quiet on Christmas Day which your autistic DC may prefer.