Spending my first ever Christmas alone

[happygertie]

After the break down of my relationship I am spending Christmas Day alone. It is partly by choice, I do have lovely family and friends that would be happy to host me but due to some other commitments I have it’s not worth the faff. I’m a bit worried on the day it will hit me that I’m alone on my favourite day of the year so looking for recommendations on how to make it feel special and indulgent. I would have gone away but have work either side so can’t make it work. Suggestions welcome

I spent it alone the year I split with my ex husband (he cheated, we were together 25 years). I was invited to various family members but I just didn’t want to socialise, or to navigate the sympathetic head tilts, lol. It was bloody awesome. I have pets so decided to stay at home. I bought in lovely M&S food, had some fizz, watched what I wanted on tv, and chilled with my pets. It was so special because I did exactly what I wanted without having to consider others for once. I remember lying in bed with a glass of champagne thinking this is the fkn life, lol. I recommend it!

This was me last Christmas. I'm 60 and it was the first Christmas I'd ever spent on my own. I did the same as previous poster, got really nice food in etc and can honestly say it was great, so stress free and calm and seriously considering doing the same again this year

If I was spending Christmas day on my own I'd buy all my favourite food and drinks, I'd buy the snuggliest dressing gown and pyjamas I could find and I'd spend the day watching TV, eating and drinking as I pleased.

Having said that one of the best Christmas days I ever had was when I spent the day in London, went to a museum, looked at the lights and ate a Christmas dinner themed picnic Id made sitting next to the lions in Trafalgar Square.

What ever you end up doing this year @happygertie I hope you make the day your own!

I spend last Xmas eve and Xmas morning alone. My kids were dropped off at midday. I didn’t socialise during Xmas eve as I didn’t want to be around ‘happy’ people when I felt so sad. It was hard and a bit surreal but it’s just a day that we blow out of proportion really. Definitely don’t wallow in bed and have a loose plan - a rough time that you’ll go out for a walk and a rough idea what time you’ll put a film on. Plan a nice breakfast and then meal for later.

And avoid social media

Yep. No social media.
Warm bread, nice cheese, red wine

Or.... Help out at a food bank or homeless shelter. Something where you are with people.

But sometimes better to be on own than with people who you don't like

I’d do what others have suggested but I’d tie in a nice walk somewhere to avoid cabin fever

I always spend Christmas alone, and it's fine. Aim for something delicious from M&S so you don't have to cook much (unless you like cooking) and something fun to watch on TV or a good new book/hobby item, so you have something to look forward to.

Many years ago I had a colleague who was listing all the nightmarish ins and outs of her Christmas Day with dreadful in-laws and general Drama and she asked me what I was doing and I said I was spending it on my own, and she paused and said "YOU LUCKY COW" and I've never forgotten that :-)

I often spend the day alone. The best tip i have taken on board is to be really busy in the run up to it, so by the day itself its a luxury to have a quiet day to yourself.
Choose film and TV wisely. Stay off social media.

I’ve done it by choice and it was fabulous. I got myself some delicious shellfish and smoked salmon, some Champagne and a lovely Tarte au Citron. I watched whatever I fancied on TV then off to bed for a great sleep. I can’t rate it highly enough

Oh yes as a PP said, a lovely long walk in the morning.

I've spent various Christmases on my own very happily. Just prepare, with what everyone else said about food and booze. I used to order oysters from Essex - half Pacific, half Native, which is too much of a faff normally, but worth doing for Xmas. Plus opening the damn things will keep you amused.

I also liked the idea about being busy in the run-up and then relaxing, plus going for a walk or similar. It's got to be worth finding out local special places that open on Christmas Day. I used to live in Oxfordshire and Rousham Gardens are fabulous and open on the day. Honesty box and nobody else around. Beautiful.

Thanks everyone, I will defo plan a nice walk for me and the two doggos. I also love the idea of being busy in the run up so I’m ready for a chill day. I will love at some nice treats to make it feel more special. It’s the warnings to stay off social media that worry me, I don’t want the feeling that I have to avoid something so avoid being upset as I think the avoiding it will equally upset me, I’m just really hoping that on the day I’m in my I love my new single life mood which is 70% of the time, but sometimes like today it feels so sad and lonely as I miss my old life still.
if you could treat yourself to anything for Xmas what would it be ? Maybe 300 quid max budget

@happygertie

I think that, if you have £300 to spend on Christmas, I would spread it over a range of things.

I would suggest placing an Ocado order for a delivery of your choice of M and S Christmas food. Include things like Buck's Fizz and smoked salmon!

You don't need to get dressed on Christmas Day. Buy some lovely pyjamas or a nightdress, if you prefer.

Get some bubble bath and a small amount of your favourite perfume.

If you like reading, perhaps a new book or a couple of glossies.

If there is some money left, you could spend it on a ticket for a pantomime near you after Christmas.

Woke up alone Christmas day last year for the first time in my life. I did actually buy myself a couple of presents. I bought a Diptique perfume and some amazing chocolate. Will have to have a think about this year!

I think I'd buy myself the Liberty advent calendar and save it to open it all on Christmas day, then spend the rest on a pile of magazines and lovely food, bliss!

I’ve spent the last couple of Christmases by myself. Divorced my H and only have a small family so thought I’d try it. I really like it. I am happy with my own company anyway so in some ways, it wasn’t too different from any other day.

I plan myself a nice dinner, a glass of something sparkling, a few treats, some fun telly and stay in my PJs! I usually have some gifts to open, and I exchange greetings with family and friends via social media or WhatsApp. All very self indulgent!

Enjoy your time and make the most of it!

I've fantasised about this! I'd make myself a stocking of small presents: luxury shower gel or soap and body cream, a massage brush or mitt, a face pack, nail polish and cuticle oils etc, maybe some new makeup, a really good, easy to read novel or two, a book of poetry, a notebook, pens, lots of my favourite snacks, maybe new PJs and soft socks or loungewear, a candle, some bulbs or seeds to plant.

I'd get in food I love, blitz the house, clean bedding and towels.

Then wake up on Christmas morning, feed the birds, put on some beautiful carols, make fresh coffee and have breakfast, then take a long luxurious bath, with favourite music playing, taking time for scrubs and face masks and massage oils and hair treatments. Get dried and dressed in new loungewear, then take the new notebook, light a candle and makes some lists or plans to look forward to in the year ahead. Not sensible resoutions, but fun stuff. Places I want to visit, from days out to holidays abroad. I'd make a list of things I'd love to do - research when bands I love are playing or shows and exhibitions I want to see open, or find out about workshops, summer schools and classes in subjects I want to try. Also small things - recipes to try, ways to remodel the house or garden. Any project that excites and energises.

After that I'd go for a walk, whatever the weather, just to get some fresh air and look at the sky and the trees. Maybe go to a church service if I fancied it. Call family or very close friends on Zoom. The rest of the day, I'd watch some favourite seasonal films and read the novel, plant the bulbs or seeds I'd bought and make some good food.

Are museums open on Christmas day? That sounds like a lovely day.

This reminds me of after my divorce, telling my mates I was spending it alone. Various people invited me and I declined. It was so funny in the end as I had a stream of friends visit me “to make sure you’re ok”. Two of them fell asleep on my sofa, presumably the first bit of peace and quiet they’d had (having invited me to their ‘very busy family christmas’ previously).

I'm 67 and this will be my third Christmas alone. I really enjoy the day and intend to fend off any invitations in the future.

I've thought about this, as I'm sure it will happen at one point in my life.

To be honest, I just don't think I would do Christmas at al.

For me, it is so tied up with doing things for other people, that anything I tried to do would just remind me of what is missing.. so why bother? Why put myself in a place where I know I'm just going to feel sad.

I think I would just say "f" it all, and go off and do something completely different. If I had the money - go to a part of the world where they don't celebrate, and have a holiday... or if not, go for a day out in the countryside, away from people, and just chill out and relax. Do what ever I wanted, and not try to compensate or make-up for something that isn't there.

I get that this is hard in the UK. I've lived outside of the UK in countries that don't celebrate Christmas for quite a while, so it is easy for me to imagine just saying "nope, not doing that" and it just isn't a thing.

Welcome to the other side @happygertie . It's a wonderfully calm and peaceful place, and on Boxing Day, you'll wish you discovered it sooner.

My first alone Christmas, i had prosecco and chocolates for breakfast in my pjs watching the TV.

Got dressed. Went for a walk along the beach.

Spent the rest of the day with a cheeseboard + meats on the coffee table and popping my favourite nibbles in the oven every couple of hours. G&T on tap. James Bond and Indiana Jones marathon via DVD alternated with reading my book.

Sheer bliss.

It was so much fun my teenage children insisted we had a grazing day the following year (it was "my" year, not their dads, so not Christmas alone). Again, the grazing was a much better option than a huge roast dinner.

It's been this way for the past 7 years with/without children. I cannot tell you just how liberating it is.

So many friends/family feel sad for you and try to insist you will have a better day with them if you're alone. I really can't see how! My day is my favourite food, my favourite drink, with my favourite tv and my favourite walk in my favourite place. My bed is upstairs. My cat is cuddly. My agenda throughout the day is my own. Why would i want to compromise and have to run on someone else's agenda?

Typing this has got me all excited for this year's Christmas Day. Can't wait!

The first Christmas after my relationship breakdown, I felt the most abject failure. Now it’s my favourite time of year. I’ve also learned not to accept well meaning invitations to spend Christmas with others, invitations extended with kindness under the great misapprehension that no one can be happy if they’re on their own. Wrong. Anyone who’s escaped a bad relationship knows that isn’t true.

Decorate, get flowers and candles. Do what you want, when the hell you want and relish the freedom. No rules about what or when.

It’ll soon be over and you’ll be looking back wistfully on those few days of calm.