How can we make Christmas Day special with just the four of us this year?

[KronkeyCroc]

For various reasons it looks like it is just going to be DH and our two kids for Christmas this year (8 and 11) for the first time ever. I’m a bit sad as I love a big Christmas and we usually have at least one set of parents and used to see siblings and nieces and nephews. Christmas Day is usually full of games and laughs. But as siblings children have grown they have started to go abroad, which is fair enough.

What do you do to make it fun and special if it’s just you and the kids at home Christmas Day? I know we can still play games but unfortunately my two argue A LOT when playing so I fear this may not be much fun.

They are still young, and my youngest is still definitely into all the magic of it so I feel like I need to do something to make up for the fact they won’t see any other family. Ideas welcome!

The Christmas we did just the four of us during COVID was the best Christmas we have ever had. The food and schedule we wanted, no rushing to be somewhere, no family tension. I would do it like that every year if I could!

Literally was going to say the exact same thing as the first response.

Same with us 😂. Our best Christmas Day was 2020 when we had Covid so it was just us. We ate what and when we wanted, watched what we wanted, played what we wanted…

Not that I don't love a big family Christmas too.

Just plan activities for the day with the kids input. The extra special bits. What outrageous, special breakfast you are all going to have, do you all want a random dinner instead of traditional roast? Maybe look up traditional dinners from around the world? What special Christmas games could you play? Even buy a physical tv guide and get them to decide what they want to watch. Can they make a special dessert? Can they plan a walk? Buy them presents that they can play with on the day that fill time, lego for example. Get them to make a special Christmas day music play list.

OP like you I love a big family Christmas, I cried when it was just us four during COVID. Some things I tried to make it special - the kids like escape rooms so I set up one with my own clues - I bought invisible ink pens for example, and padlocks, and crackers to hide clues inside etc. Indoor fireworks. (They are rubbish but that is the fun). We did a Zoom with family. We played the Taskmaster game. In the end, a neighbour came round (which was allowed in our tier!) and that added sociability as well.

Church services are very special at Christmas, maybe take them along to one

I don’t have a big family, so it’s always just me and DD on Christmas Day. We love it! It’s a very chilled day. Nice dinner and lots of goodies in front of the telly. It’s nice to just do nothing.

We normally do a mid-afternoon Zoom call with loads of family members - lots of us on there together. We play a few games, someone usually does a quiz, show-off some of the more unusual presents we’ve received etc…
We also go outside for a few fireworks and sparklers in our back garden. Nothing major, just a few Roman candles and Catherine wheels. We have a fire pit so we sit outside and make gingerbread s’mores. We’ve been doing that ever since lockdown. Then we come inside and cosy up in front of a film.

Ah yes, that reminds me that we made smores in our fire pit the Christmas it was just us. The kids loved it.

Since my mother died we always do Christmas as just the four of us. My kids are young adults now, but we still do Christmas stockings all together on our bed - that part will be especially magical for you given your children’s age. We set the breakfast table in the kitchen the night before - with melon slices, other fruits, toasted pannacetta, natural yoghurt, croissants and use Christmassy crockery with Christmas paper napkins etc. We never all sit down to breakfast together usually so this feels pretty special. At your children’s age you will still have all the fun of checking whether Father Christmas ate his mince pie and drank his whisky - and if Rudolph finished off his carrot. We always light the fire on Christmas Day whatever the weather and switch on the fairy lights as soon as we get up for ambience. I usually play some Christmas music in the background too. Then it’s on to opening presents under the tree - how could it get more exciting than this?! We video call relatives and have drinks and canapés throughout the morning too. Nowadays I try and encourage everyone to get stuck in with preparing the Christmas lunch which promotes camaraderie (well that’s the plan) but when they were your kids age we’d make sure they had a new game or toys to keep them busy when we were cooking. We have lots of lovely decorations so it all feels really festive. Christmas dinner is the main event of the day - at about 2pm. I’m the main cook so I’m pretty busy and I can’t say I’ve ever felt like we were missing out on excitement. Lots of delicious food, crackers to pull, paper crowns to wear, jokes to tell, wine to drink (now we’re all adults) - it’s a great laugh. We always have a traditional turkey with all the trimmings and an old fashioned Christmas pudding which we light. We turn off all the lights and carry it in by candlelight singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas. The kids don’t like Christmas pudding though so we also have a chocolate Yule log, followed by port and a cheese board etc. It’s a feast and we’re not finished yet! Did I mention food is a really big deal here on Christmas Day? We always play games after lunch, with coffee and chocolates, and open any remaining presents. Then we clear up the lunch stuff, before making a pot of tea (to eat with Christmas cake, mince pies, shortbread) at which point the TV usually gets switched on. It’s a good idea to make sure you’ve recorded some good stuff - or at least have a plan for something everyone would like to watch. The new Harry Potter show starts on Christmas Day this year so I have high hopes of that.
Honestly, we always have a lovely day as a family of four; I can’t imagine it any other way.

what sort of things do you/they enjoy?

I think getting out of the house on Christmas day is underrated - when we were kids we would ride our bikes after stockings + breakfast.

near us there are people who do a cold water dip in the shallow end of the pool in a nature reserve.

During Covid it was lovely walking through the centre of london and along the Thames when it was almost empty.

is there anyone you know who might be lonely and appreciate a visit?

do you emkoy Christmas dinner? You could have a lovely time together making it and decoraring the table

if you have been busy with outings in the run-up to Christmas Day itself you might appreciate being low-key

Let them (help) to plan the menu.

Go out for a walk.

If they fight during games, what about a family friendly quiz so they can play individually?

Pre arranged choice of film (hopefully avoids arguments)

Do either of them like crafting, karaoke, video games (family ones you can all join in with)

Start an age appropriate but big jigsaw… continue between Christmas and New Year.

Sorry, these might not be the best ideas for your children’s ages as mine as much younger but I’d have loved to just play and do lots of fun things with my parents at that age!

The best Christmas days we have ever had have been when it’s been just the 4 of us.

Relaxed, a special breakfast, a dog walk, presents, everyone in the kitchen whilst lunch is prepared, I do a fabulous table as I don’t have 16 people wedged in around it, lovely table presents. Games, something on tv. Bliss.

Oh I don’t have a big family so have always had small family Christmas days..

We do church late on Christmas Eve and have a curry!

Christmas Day our local pub allows kids in and has lovely cheese boards a few drinks and it gives you that people hit, the kids always loved it, as everyone is happy and friendly and some are dressed up.

if you don’t do pubs we have a bacon sarnie and bucks fizz for breakfast.

Then we have cooked a late Christmas dinner and by the time we’ve watched TV, eaten walked the dog and done all the gifts it’s cuddles in PJs and sleep time.

And some Baileys for mum and dad

You could consider a cooperative game - there is some working together but it’s all win or all lose.

I hate a big Christmas, I'm always happiest when it's just me and DD. Take all the expectations out of the day and go with the flow. Though raise your expectations of your children - 8 and 10 is plenty old enough not to be argumentative dicks all day.

So it’s only ever been us we don’t have any family. So we recently became a family of 4. And we have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. Then no pressure on Christmas Day we spend all day in our pjs eat what we want watch what we want and chill.

Almost all my Christmases growing up were like this.

Light fire and all Christmas lights on first thing in the morning OR straight out for a walk somewhere pretty with Santa hats/Christmas jumpers if you want, take a flask of something mulled and some mince pies for first breakfast.

Back home, presents, brunch, prepping Christmas dinner, playing with presents or reading them.

Dinner, some kind of silly activity for between main course and pudding eg charades, a game from a cracker or something my parents had made up.

Film.

Bed.

But for me christmas really starts with Christmas Eve where we’d all religiously (not actually) listen to the Nine Lessons and Carols service which is usually on the radio at about 3pm while prepping food for the next day, baking or doing last minute tasks like putting up greenery or writing cards for our neighbours. That’s what will stay with me when I’m an old lady because even though there’s always squabbling it was us all pulling together.

We almost always had Christmas Day for just the four of us when dcs were young. They would open their stockings when they woke up - even if it was only 3am, then at around 7 am they'd come and show us what Father Christmas had brought them. Then we'd creep downstairs and I would check to see whether FC had left any presents under the tree. Wed then have present opening for a while until breakfast. Everyone took turns to open a present and often, the dcs would go off to play with it. After breakfast either more presents or playing with toys. Dinner was always fun - as well as the cracker jokes we'd all tell a few corny jokes. After dinner we'd play board games, or with new toys. We often didn't bother with tea, but would crack open the chocolate and watch a dvd the dcs had chosen for Christmas. Then it would be bedtime. I know it doesn't sound exciting, but it was genuinely lovely having a day when we could all just enjoy being together and not worrying about housework etc. Our dcs clearly have good memories of it as now they are adults, they model their own Christmas day on what we did when they were children.

I feel your pain OP. It's just the four of us and my mum this year, we usually have at least 10 people over and I find it really depressing without extra people. It just doesn't feel like Christmas. We've had the odd year like this before and I try to make the best of it. Try and do a few extra special things with the kids. DD (8) and I make Nigellas Christmas morning muffins as soon as we've done stockings, then we eat them warm while we do presents. Then we have brunch, usually eggs Benedict or similar. Then DH and I take the kids out for a walk, we don't have a dog but there's always loads of dogs wearing antlers or tinsel out and about in the village so they love that. Do as much prep for the Christmas dinner in advance as you can and then all get involved and do it together. DS (4) loves mixing stuffing, DD loves making Yorkshire puddings, DH makes an excellent pig in blanket. Maybe get some silly Christmas games, DH spent most of last Christmas with inflatable reindeer antlers on his head while the kids threw hoops at them. Maybe research a special mocktail they would enjoy in advance and have them help you make it? We found one in the m&s food magazine last year that DD adored.

As for games I really rate quizamid, doesn't take too long and as the kids are also in competition with the adults they tend to forget to squabble. It has a kids track and an adults track which seems to genuinely equal it out, DD has won fair and square without DH and I throwing it quite a few times.

When we have had Christmas just us 4 at home we have always gone to church in the morning. We’re not churchy people but love a Christmas service with some carols!

Then our local pub in the afternoon where we see all our friends and their kids for an hour.

Also a festive dog walk is crammed in somewhere.

In the evening we watch a Christmas movie, eat too much chocolate and a couple of games.

We always do Christmas Day just the 4 of us. It’s fabulous.

Just lean into it and have a really relaxed day. The kids will love having you all to themselves.

It's just going to be me and DS this year - it will be very strange. Dad is in palliative care and mum has dementia. We've managed up to now but it will be a sad occasion I think.

It’s only ever been just me and the children, (is all year round tbh) and we have a lovely day every year. It depends what you like doing really.

We always get a new Whitworths wooden jigsaw and work on it together, and play charades and silly parlour games…kids adore Are You There Moriarty? which involves blindfolded opponents hitting each other with rolled up newspapers (there’s a QI video showing Alan Davies playing it 😂) but they also enjoy one where you get loads of little things from round the house on a tray and cover with a tea towel and each contestant gets a little time to look then has to name them all…my nine year old makes this fiendishly difficult when it’s their turn to tray-up the items.

Every year we have tonnes of food, laughter, cuddles.