Need to rant? Come on over.

[DontlikeChristmas]

I’ll start. We’ve just opened presents. I couldn’t give a fig about presents for myself, but I think if you’re going to spend money on a gift for someone you’d may as well make sure it’s something they will like/use. DH has panic bought me a horrible tie dye jumper two sizes too big. I’ve never worn tie dye in my life. My mother has inexplicably bought me a truly awful outfit clearly meant for a teenager (I’m 50) in a colour I never wear, also in the wrong size. DH has also managed to buy DC a load of stuff they already have because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I feel so deflated by this & think it’s all such a massive waste of money (we probably could have gone out for dinner with the cost of the presents no one is going to wear/use, or made a charity donation).

We now have DHs family coming for dinner, who are lovely people but seem to have ever changing dietary requirements (none of which are due to diagnosed conditions) that it’s impossible to keep up with, so I’ve got to make about 15 different gluten-free/oil free/non-acidic/anti-inflammatory and whatever else dishes (DH ‘doesn’t do cooking’).

I’m over Christmas & it’s not even 8.30. Anyone else?

Well I’m thrilled with all my kids’ noisy “dinofour” tat from Temu with their chinese instructions and non-screw battery covers. So grateful. Definitely won’t end up in landfill 🙃

Admittedly, they got some nice gifts from my in-laws too :)

A merry Temu Christmas here too. Old granny slippers, fluffy ( moulting ) lounge wear, and I use this term very loosely, with a big teddy bear motif across the tits. A dozen nylon luridly coloured knickers, sized too small and some random bath oil in a men's fragrance, ( I never use bath oil in case I slip ).
I've said in another thread that there was some nice Elemis face cream in evidence in one of his drawers, the like of which seems to have been spirited away along with the elves...

DS 2 decided that I had deliberately over ridden him by buying presents he told me not to buy (clothes, all of which he did actually like) three years ago. I thought after three years it was okay but apparently he told me last year. I’m 67, I forgot.
Similar with dd2. Bought her what she acknowledges was best pressie ever but forgot the one she’d asked for in September! They are not teens, they’re late twenties!
I'm tired and old. I forgot things.

Well i had a nice enough day with in laws. Got back home to ring my dad (im not good on the phone and prefer a video call). He's disabled the alexa i used to call my mum on. Phoned the landline and he's just ranted on at me about his phone being broken, not having anyones numbers, the computer broken and why i havent told him when im coming to visit. Didn't say happy christmas, didnt send a card or gift to his grandson. He's downloaded a virus, yet appears to be taking it out on me. I'm the dreadful person for not giving him an exact date of arrival and not having phoned for 3 weeks.

If he'd have bothered to phone me, he'd have known my MIL has been in intensive care most of December, his grandson is still being bullied at new school and my brain is so out of sorts after 2 years worrying and caring for my mum who died in the summer i'm having 2 lots if counselling and barely getting through the days.

Oof, £20 and a packet of sweets next year I think. Dare I ask if they got you anything @Gilead ?

My DH has ignored me most of the day at PIL whilst I try and pretend everything is ok for DC. He's decided to stay there late so he can drink more whilst I go home with children and spend Christmas evening on my own. Has felt like a lonely day despite around people

I’d like a moan. I actually sort of miss all the annoying family stuff! I had my young DC just for the morning and think it’ll be the last year they believe in Santa.

I was dumped from an 18-month relationship on Tues (after he’d bought all the food for our Christmas) - it had been strained over the past month or so but thought it was getting back on track. He was very mean and basically discarded me via phone and now I’m wondering if someone else involved.

So had the day laying around not eating proper food. Burst of tears here and there. Feeling like a weird old lovely cat lady.

But I’m incredibly grateful for my DC and this morning and just to be still here!

I bought all the gifts bar 1 for my DS. Bought really thoughtful and quality gifts for DH. Made sure I made plenty of candid pictures of them.
I received a 100% polyester scarf you can get for a tenner on Amazon (probably 2 on Temu) some gloves and a lamp that I am sure was meant to be for my DS.
Zero pics taken of me...again..not.lying when I say he has never taken a pic of me and my DS in all 16 months despite me telling how much I care about it as I want to capture memories.
He was in charge of dinner and only put meat in the oven (that I don't like). When asked what goes with it he didn't think he needed to make anything at all? So I had no food and I scrambled to get something healthy into my son and he left to go outside.
It's the thought that counts, but when there is clearly no thought at all; what's the point

My 8 year old, autistic, high functioning, I guess. Is so over stimulated that one of us has been sat with him since bedtime be ause he keeps waking up crying and shouting. He's big for 8 and kicks out when he's disressed, so it's hard to know what to do. I'm overstimulated myself and his sisters keep getting woken up. Merry Christmas indeed.

I made a trifle and I was really excited about it all day, and even left some of my christmas dinner so I still had space for dessert but when I ate it, it really was not very nice at all.

After a horrible stressful morning, all I wanted was some nice trifle.

Admittedly they did come up trumps for me, really great presents and can’t say because it’s very outing and I know people on here!

Ooh I’d like to rant please. I’m at the in laws. My husband spent all morning in bed with a cold, whilst I helped with food prep and dealt with the kids. He has been drinking wine on the sofa and sniffing all afternoon and instead of going to bed early like the rest of us so that he is better tomorrow when all the family come round and can help prepare, he is staying up late drinking more wine. So will inevitably be in bed again all morning tomorrow. Just admitted to me that is the plan. He’s very selfish and it’s royally pissed me off.

thanks OP, feels good to get that off my chest.

Our Christmas Day started with an argument as I was tell DM on the phone we'd be there at 10am and leaving after lunch to go to FIL's. DH was yelling out no, we're going there on the way over. I'd told him last week I wasn't rushing off from lunch because SIL was coming down (FIL manipulated DH by saying SIL's DS would be lonely).

So, as usual he'd decided to change plans without discussing it, or caring how it affected meor my family, based on one thing I said. I explained this & he eventually 'understood'.

I had to push DH & DC out the door to ensure we got to his DF's. SIL magically had an activity for DC so we didn't get to my parents until almost midday. We had to drive to family hosting so only just made it to lunch. So much for him listening - I overheard DH saying to FIL we'd be back after lunch, expecting me to bolt down lunch with my family & rush off again. Thankfully SIL told him they weren't hanging around past 2pm.... as they had plans!! Lunch didn't finish until 4pm so he'd have been stuffed anyway. I may have pointed it out in general conversation later on....

A long rant but I am so over DH's lack of ability to communicate & putting me last, cancelling plans etc.

How can such a special day be so shit.
Just gone to bed, given up waiting to receive a gift from other half.
Behind closed doors he’s an abusive bully, yet no one sees that. It’s so tiresome.

MIL is an odious, nasty, toxic old toad and she has ruined everything as usual with her narcissistic behaviour.

Ah ffs sorry to hear that 😞 did you get him anything and if yes what's his reaction been that he hasn't got anything for you?

He has got me something, because we drove to the Amazon locker to collect it. He’s either waiting for me to ask if I can have it or he just doesn’t give a shit.
I think it’s the latter.
I’m so over it.

We spent a fortune on our DS this time, much more than normal because for once we've got a bit of money so we wanted to spoil him.

He has been pleasant enough today, ate his Xmas lunch with us but that's all, and when we went to walk the dog said he was off out which I expressly asked him not to do. He did it anyway, because hes 16 and knows everything, and is now late. Oh and his phone is "dead."

I feel like putting his presents on the fucking fire.

We spend x-mas day just us (me, oh and kids). We have guests over on Boxing Day. In laws turned up uninvited at 6am today.

Bloody hell, I'd have sent them away with a flea in their ear, regardless of how long their drive is. Turning up like that is unbelievably rude, andf cheeky fuckery of the highest order imo.

JadeSeaHorse That sounds wonderful. These little things mean so much. DS is also profoundly autistic and has LDs and presents used to be a chore. (quite aside from never knowing what to get him...) But there was a sweet spot where he'd finally worked out that there might be something inside that he'd like, and he would unwrap one thing and then immediately sit down and play/fiddle with it. It was lovely (even if it might take him days to get round to opening other things).

Now he's an adrenaline-charged teenager who last year ripped through his presents at breakneck speed in a very disheartening way, not stopping to look at anything, and this year I was sort of dreading it. His stocking went fast but this year I'd thought to put the 5 Thomas toys he specially requested from Father Christmas right at the top so he wouldn't rip through everything else looking for them. And he did slow down when we opened tree presents and even carried presents to other people and handed them over, and he didn't try to grab things or open other people's things. These are all massive wins. I hope he had a nice time - I think he did. It's often hard to tell. He built some lego and a 3D jigsaw and didn't have a single meltdown. We've had a good day.

(I hope we'll be able to find him somewhere as fantastic as your DD to live safely and happily in the future. It absolutely terrifies me.)

So sorry for everyone who’s had a rubbish time. Mine has been boring and mildly rubbish. Some tension between me and husband over MIL. But we don’t do presents any more so at least there is very little waste or disappointment over presents.

I’m so sorry .. thats dreadful .
Sending hugs … he’s not good enough for you but that’s no consolation when you’re hurting .
Take care of yourself

Dd age 21 still lives at home , didn’t go to uni & is spending her first Xmas away from us . She went to her bf mums house last night and they visited his dad today

Dd and bf were supposed to come home this evening around 8 and so we have been waiting for them to open presents

She texted at 7 to say staying at bf mums now instead. That’s it for communication today - no phone call , no merry Xmas text or apology.

It’s pathetic but I’m just so hurt that she treats our house like a hotel and we’ve been dropped with no consideration . We are open and welcoming to her Bf who sleeps here half the week and has been treated like family

Both myself and Dh are working next 3 days so not like we can re-do tomorrow

On Christmas Eve I knew DH hadn’t wrapped my gifts so i phoned him and asked if I should (so our children actually see me getting something!). We’d been invited out Xmas Eve so I knew he wouldn’t have time. A new low wrapping
your own gifts!

However, I’m not bothered Christmas is about the kids and they all had fun and that makes me happy!

Ladies, and I can’t say this loud or clear enough, if you DH has been a shit on Christmas Day, it’s time to LTB.