Irritated by parents already😩

[Bellyblueboy]

I am an awful person. My parents are staying for Christmas - only arrived today - and I am already irritated.

The constant passive aggressive questions - the long, boring stories about people I don’t know - the complete lack of interest in my life

All my Electrical appliances have been unplugged so the remote controls no longer work. I will have to crawl under the Christmas trees now to turn them back on (don’t know how my dad managed to get under there, he is 80!).

the TV is up so loud I can’t think. They brought the contents of their fridge with them - I had to put most of it in the bin!

my mum keeps asking me are we having (fill in some obscure food item she never mentioned before) then looking disappointed when I say I didn’t know she wanted it. I went to Tesco to try and find Turkish delight with no chocolate because apparently it just isn’t Christmas without it.

i am already so irritated I could scream. They are elderly. They can’t help it. But in fairness they have always been a bit annoying, they have just lost their filter.

I am trying to find it funny. But failing. Every time I move my dad asks me what I am doing. Where I am going. Aggghhhh

Your post made me laugh OP.
I can totally relate to that.

Good grief. How people think that elderly parents are to be adored and cherished like some fantastical parents from the movies. They are not all like that and they are irritating and inappropriate. Doesn't mean you don't love them any less, you just don't like them and that's okay. Its also ok to vent and a week with them is a long time.

Nice that you had such a great relationship with your parents. Not all of us are that lucky. maybe you should be the one to give your head a wobble as we're not all as fortunate as you.

Ignore the nasty comments OP, you can be fond of people and still irritated by them at the same time.

I wouldn't do any more shopping trips for obscure food items now though.

Did I miss something? 5 replies in, you flounce. None of those 5 replies were remotely "nasty". You seem like quite a difficult person, to be honest - your "Are you okay?" response to one post comes over as quite aggressive. I did have some sympathy with you at first, but overly touchy people (you) are very irritating and not fun to be with. Perhaps they're not feeling particularly comfortable in your house.

This isn't true. I miss my mum but not EVRRYTHING about her. I can imagine that one day the OP will also miss her parents but not the unplugging of appliances or TV on at 100 decibels.
This is like when you have a newborn and youee struggling and people tell you to 'cherish every second'

I love this thread.

My 82 year old dad is here. He's a dream, the best dad ever, I totally adore him and will be so, so lost without him. It doesn't mean I'm not finding the tv on loudly / the heating too high / the hovering around a bit hard work at times.

What is amazing though is he's taking much of the attention from my very hyper, very excited "why why why what are you doing mummy mummy where are you" 5 year old.

Ah OP I could have written your post word for word down to the eating disorder! My husband’s parents also have eating disorders and spend their whole life describing everyone by their weight… one of them is now very ill and I still find it hard to bite my tongue!

Christmas is hard and I struggle to have them in my space. My mum cannot let me relax, as soon as I sit down she finds me something to do. Yesterday she was demanding I open an ISA and when I finally did online she decided the rate wasn’t good enough and wanted me to drive about 50 miles away to the nearest building society she deemed acceptable! Obviously I refused. It is always give give give with them, I’ve started setting boundaries this year with them and it’s been a very hard slog but I think it’s finally working, even if I do regress to a teenager when they’re here. Here’s to a new year with new boundaries and hopefully some calm!

Honestly OP. Ignore stupid comments like this. Sadly everyone will lose their parents one day, that's just life. You dont have to feel guilty that you haven't yet. You're allowed to find them annoying too

I back this. A nip of Baileys in your coffee will make it all seem less painful😂 maybe slip some into their drinks too and they might take a nap, giving you a break😊

My parents are no longer with me but I know if they were here it would be a new level of anxiety from my mum:
Jade you really should try this Botox your friends are having it so would knock a few years off.
Jade you should get some highlights that hair of yours is too dark now it’s ageing.
Brian it’s fine to indulge today but your diet starts on New Year’s Day we’ve got a cruise in March.
Jade isn’t Tess Daly beautiful and so slim. It’s hard to believe you are the same age isn’t it?
Jade have you thought about putting a bit more blusher on?
I had an eating disorder which is now a bit easier on me but I battled against my body shape all my life. My mother would be horrified now as eating healthily has seen my dress size increase, add in the menopause.
She would tell everyone who would listen she had been seven stone 10 when she got married and remained the same.
So while I miss them both and still mourn them, and still frigging hear them, it’s fine to have a good moan about them now, and equally fine to have a moan when they are gone.
Anyway I’m just off to mainline some mince pies. Just the one Jade, it will ruin your figure?
My figure is shagged, mum, so I’ll down three. I’m not applying for a job to present Strictly so I don’t have to worry 🤣
As for my dad, Brian you are on a permanent cruise now where calories don’t count. Enjoy!

Unplugging all the electrics! That sounds unhinged (and really annoying) and I speak as someone who is probably of the same generation as your parents, OP. Even my own late Dad would never countenace such a thing, especially in somebody else's home.
Can't you just ask him not to?
'Please don't unplug anything electrical Dad, I need it on because...'

Perfect

My sympathies op. Earbuds and an audiobook?

My parents are very like this but won’t travel or have people in their house for Christmas.

Am currently living with soon to be exH for who plans nothing, wants a schedule and everything is a question. So get how annoying that is.

Yes, my mum has told me this morning that she has put on weight and is now 7st 10. She said this while watching me eat toast for breakfast! I got the usual ‘I don’t know how you are hungry after all that chocolate last night’. All that chocolate was four segments of chocolate orange.

I think it’s the constant reminder of why I had an eating disorder that I find difficult. I flashed to a memory of her buying me Slimfast and telling me I would never be lovely and slim like my fiends if I continued eating rubbish. I was eleven!

I am a size 10 now (although I have been much bigger). Logically I know I am not fat - or even overweight. But it’s hard. My dad has asked me if I am going to the gym four times today!

@Bellyblueboy I hope this will make you laugh in a dark humour kind of way.
My mum was dying of cancer, we were waiting for an ambulance as she was going to hospice care. She must have been about 5 stone. Me and Brian were sitting on the end of the bed and she says to me…
Pop on the scales before I go. Bring them in here so your dad can do the reading.
Mum: what is she Brian?
Brian: 8 stone 10.
Mum: she looks a good nine and a half!
We could all club together and write a sitcom with this stuff?

My mum lives with us - in an annexe but part of our house. I feel like we need a solidarity thread or facebook page for others in the same boat!

No judgement here. We're allowed - and bound to - have mixed feelings about people. Especially our parents, and especially when they refuse to work on themselves.
And let's face it, some house guests are more annoying than others!
Happy Christmas OP!

Oh just stop it. Not everyone was a saint when they were alive, and many certainly aren't while they're still here. People are allowed to love their parents and still find them infuriating and difficult at times.

I think you have just written your synopsis for a BBC christmas comedy drama. See it as a gift. You can thank them when you pick up your BAFTA!

Even people you love can be irritating and drive you mad! Letting off steam on an anonymous site is a good way to avoid letting them see your irritation.

I have to ask though, why were all your appliances unplugged?

The thought of a family christmas is always more attractive than the reality.
The tensions are so close to the surface. It's hard to say the right thing sometimes - our Gen Z 22 year olds are full of eyerolls and telling us how we should think, getting overly defensive when we express a point of view - life on the other side can be exhausting too. They think they know best about everything, tell us we are not living our lives in the "right way" but still need help and advice on lots of things and when asked you have to be careful only to give the advice they are likely to agree with. I got an eye roll yesterday for asking dd to help me open a jar, got berated for telling her about a mutual friend's dog who was poorly for a second time (the crime of the century!).

I expect in 20 years time they'll be posting a thread like this about us! And whilst dh is around we will laugh at how ridiculous they can be, in much the same way as you are laughing at your parents - we love them too but they are hard to live with.

They do sound annoying, but the years will roll by and one day you will be their age and annoying younger people, seems just to be how it goes. Christmas is a strange time of year, coooed up indoors and under pressure to be happy and jolly alongside people we often spend much of the year limiting the time we spend with them. Add cold dark weather and alcohol and it is a recipe for conflict

Fire safety. Our neighbours had an electrical fire, they were advised to unplug or switch off at the plug any unattended electrical items. We do this when we go out, or go to bed.
Not when someone is using them, however!

on the electrical stuff, I have lots of stuff on timers - and the sky box set to record certain things (although in fairness most is available to download now).

my dad has unplugged lamps, Christmas tree lights, the microwave etc. he even went into some cupboards and switched off the oven, the washing machine etc. I think it might be anxiety. And he doesn’t believe me that I control them from my phone (which Ben though he has the same Amazon plugs on his lamps!).

And he doesn’t just flick off the switch, he pulls out the plug. But I am trying to see the funny side of my new morning routine