Cant afford to get my parents a gift for Christmas

[hl8]

I have an 8yo daughter and have brought her quite allot of presents this year. Moneys been really tight but still managed to get her pretty much everything she wanted, but that meant I ran out of money and I don’t get paid again until Boxing Day. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have brought her so much and feeling really guilty that I can’t buy my parents a gift.

Is anyone else in the same situation where they can’t buy someone they love a gift this year?

As a grandmother, I’d never expect gifts from my adult children if money was tight . I remember how hard those years can be. What’s important to me is that whatever they have goes to their children, and that we’re able to share the joy and magic of Christmas together. Happy Christmas OP to you and yours 🕊️🕯️

I think posters' ideas of using some of your £20 to frame a photo or go to a charity shop is the best ideas. Also your DD could make a gift like some biscuits or something simple but crafty? It would be awkward to take nothing especially as they will be watching your DD open her £200 worth of presents and will be giving you and her gifts.

Wow. I'm so surprised at how harsh people have been. You have prioritised your daughter, which is exactly what I would have done, and exactly what my mum would have expected.

I love the idea of making them a gift. Do you have any bags of nuts and cooking chocolate? You could make chocolate covered hazelnuts/almonds/Brazil nuts etc. and make a presentation box with your daughter. (Pop them in the fridge until Xmas day) That would mean a lot more to me/my mum than some smellies from M&S.

Yes it’s rude to roll up to someone’s house who is hosting you at Christmas and not bring some small gift, even if you had agreed beforehand that you weren’t exchanging actual Christmas presents ( which sounds like you haven’t). There’s nothing to be done about your poor budgeting now, but agree you could bring a thoughtful cheap/ free gift at this late stage. Our B and Q has spring bulbs really reduced, so for a couple of £s you could get 4 hyacinth bulbs in put in a jam jar of water and get your DD to decorate the jar and make a card. If you don’t know how to do this you can YouTube it.

pay day wont be boxing day
buy them something op

bring nice biscuits
buy them wine
buy the cheese

I don’t think a box of Maltesers has been £1.50 for about 5 years 😅

I was unemployed for a while and my DF repeatedly told me not to buy him anything for Christmas, but I still did. Parents do a lot for us in our early years, surely it's not too much to make an effort to acknowledge them at Christmas, especially when they are hosting.

There was no need for OP to stress and worry, the remedy was in her own hands.

I picked some up off the supermarket shelf as a stocking filler for my son. When I saw the price, I put them back down again!

I couldn't turn up on Christmas day without a token gift at the very least, especially if they are hosting you and your daughter. A box of biscuits and a bottle of wine along with a nice homemade Christmas card your daughter made would be lovely.

Don’t worry about. They’re your parents and they’ll understand, you shouldn’t go into debt just to buy your parents something. I was a single mum for years until I met DH and I often couldn’t afford to buy anyone a present aside from DS 🤷‍♀️ I make up for it now though and have got my mum a nice bag of goodies. I’m sure something similar will happen for you in the future.

I know that sounds really patronising but I don’t know how else to explain my own experience. I hope you have a good one though ♥️

Seriously?? 😤

i love this idea...you could then purchase the christmas edition to give as "the christmas day gift" and arrange the subscription in the new year,,,,,im going to do this next year for my brother xx

My parents wouldnt care if i didnt get them anything and would want the 8 year old prioritised.

Anyway as pp have said you will almost certainly get paid on the 24th. Assuming your payroll done via BACs (which almost all are). Nip to the shops on the 24th and get something, you might even get a bargain.

It’s really self indulgent to start buying Christmas presents during the summer holidays and then get yourself into such a bad financial position.

You’ve got an eight year old who is dependent on you. It’s not responsible to spend £200 on Christmas presents and have £20 in your bank account.

And it’s not sending her a good message that she’s getting all of these presents and then you are going to her grandparents house with no present at all.

I am very surprised that your question in the OP was not ‘what can I get my parents with very little money?’ But ‘has anyone else done this?’ It comes across as asking for validation rather than solutions.

Because obviously it is a problem. It isn’t about the money that you spend on anyone. It is about the thought. And it appears, and will appear to them unless you fix it, that you just didn’t think about your parents.

And obviously there are solutions. With effort over the next few days you can really change the Christmas you will all have. Some suggestions:

Salt dough decorations you can make with your DD.

A photo of them and you daughter

Biscuits or cakes you can make

Home made vouchers for a trip in the new year, or an IOU for something they would prefer to choose themselves (eg to get slippers in the right size, for example)

A photo of you and then from when you were little, in a frame with some thoughtful words.

A well chosen book from a charity shop.

Christmas decorations eg dried orange slices, cinnamon sticks tied with a ribbon, cloves stuck in an orange.

My dad (mum has passed) is adamant that he doesn't want me spending on him and would rather I save the money. However, I do feel guilt about this so I always get him a little something. This year a framed picture of my son. Could you afford something small like that?
If not, I'm sure they will understand and would prefer you use your money on your child.

Sorry but this isn't ok.

You need to get crafting and making a gift, it's rude to expect your parents to host without even a token gift and models dreadful behaviour for your child.

If your parents are reasonable, they will understand you are putting your daughter first.

There are some real arseholes on this thread who are berating this woman unnecessarily. I can’t believe the people who are saying she should return her daughter’s gifts to buy her parents something!! Just wow 😮 You people should take a long hard look at yourself. She’s spent £200, not £2k, and is agonising over whether she can afford a small token gift of (I assume sub £5) and so many people are being cruel. No-one else knows what’s going on in her life.

I wish you all the best OP. If I were you, I’d stop reading all these bitter comments and get on with preparing for Christmas ♥️

Explain to your parents ahead of the day. I can't imagine being annoyed at my grown up DD for putting her child before me. I'm sure your parents don't expect or want anything.

A few suggestions for the OP:-

As a pp has suggested, look in the charity shops.
Pay might go in on the 24th so you can afford something.
Get your DD involved in creating an invitation to an afternoon tea, kids love drawing and colouring in don’t they? And pledge to host afternoon tea for your parents in the New Year.

With a little creative ingenuity the two of you will be able to create a lovely gift for your parents.

Whilst I do understand you wanting to make things special for your DD it is important for her to understand the concept of not getting everything she expects all the time and there’s more joy in giving than receiving.

Happy Christmas 🎄😀

Posters are trying to help you to see that saying you’re fine you’ve got £20 left is really worrying. You need to start building up a buffer. My child has started secondary and there’s been expenses I didn’t know we’d have - uniform (crazy amount), stationery, residential, disco, sponsored event. Plus she wants to meet friends sometimes. Start getting used to saving money for her for her future. Instead of sending £200, putting money away for activities throughout the year. I use charity shops, Facebook marketplace and look out for cheap deals and I’ve got money saved but it’s about being careful.

Obviously most parents expect you to prioritise your child but I also think many would be hurt not to receive anything at all.

🧐

No overdraft?
No credit card?
No PayPal?
No Klarna?
No individual store buy now pay later facility like Littlewoods?
No idea that wages / salary / UC due to be paid on Boxing Day will be paid before Christmas Day?

🧐