Cant afford to get my parents a gift for Christmas

[hl8]

I have an 8yo daughter and have brought her quite allot of presents this year. Moneys been really tight but still managed to get her pretty much everything she wanted, but that meant I ran out of money and I don’t get paid again until Boxing Day. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have brought her so much and feeling really guilty that I can’t buy my parents a gift.

Is anyone else in the same situation where they can’t buy someone they love a gift this year?

I think OPs getting a bit of a hard time. I’ll be honest I’ve not read more than a few pages but I don’t think £200 is that much you have a stocking, a main gift and a few smaller ones. If the main gift is a console or something like that £200 wouldn’t even cover that. Prices have gone up. However a nice box of chocolates and a thoughtful card with a meaningful message is something you can do in less than £15. Throw in a bunch of flowers and a drink or a dish you’ve made at home to help over Christmas as their hosting.

I agree that £200 isn’t necessarily that much nowadays. But if you know that money is a bit tight, to the extent that you start to spread the cost of Christmas presents over several months, how can you possibly not set aside an amount for at least a modest present for your parents?

Using Klarna and dipping into next month's (and it's usually a long month financially) pay when somebody already has debts isn't a good idea, really.

You put 'can't' but you mean 'haven't budgeted for'. You are coming across as a bit of a 'no fault of my own' type I'm afraid. You could have planned and spent 10 or 20 of your budget on a token gift for your parents.

I dont know her circumstances I spread out the costs bought presents from Summer time but this month I moved homes, my dog ate a chocolate orange and I’m self employed waiting on people to pay their invoices to me. 😆 Life happens I think people giving her a hard time instead of ideas on what to do is more helpful she can’t go back in time and like I said who knows her life circumstances.

And to add your child’s Christmas is more important than your parents. They have a few special years and if she decides to refund presents I’m sure most grandparents would rather they didn’t. Of course she should have been more mindful. Hopeful her parents care more about their grandchildren then something from m&s

My parents wouldn't care about a present, christmas is about the children not the adults, they'd prefer our children had everything on their lists than a present themselves if we were struggling. I'd feel the same too if I had grandchildren. Anyone with children in our extended family only receive gifts for their children, we buy for couples who don't have children though to make it fair.

Why don't you take one if your dd's cheaper presents back and buy your dm a book about something she's interested in, or a biography of someone she admires? That's a thoughtful but inexpensive gift.Get your dd involved in choosing and wrapping it, so she experiences the joy of giving. Then give your dd weekly pocket money in the new year to save so she can still get the returned gift if she actually wants it that much and teach her a good financial habit in the process?

You could buy them a vintage item on a classified website with a seller that lives near you. You can get great bargains on vintage items.

Otherwise you could buy pay for a restaurant for them in the new year when you get your next pay on Boxing Day. That way you can give them a card and advise them that you are paying for a nice restaurant in thanks for the Xmas Dinner they are offering you and your daughter.

Christmas is NOT just for children. ‘Christmas is about children’ is honestly absolutely bonkers. Childfree/Childless people still celebrate Christmas!

I'm sorry but that is a mad amount to spend on a child of 8 who won't care if it was £20 or £200.

You have your priorities all wrong I'm afraid.

Christmas is not just about getting/ giving gifts.

Christmas is actually about the birth of Jesus.

And if you're not religious it's about spending TIME with loved ones, sharing a nice meal and being together.

Not spending a fortune on gifts.

You can show love without spending £200 on a child aged 8.

The more I hear things like this the more I HATE Christmas and how commercial it's become.

The whole meaning of Christmas has been lost in the buying of tat and who can spend the most.

No.

And of course Jesus wasn’t given any presents, was he?

Oh, hang on…

You didn’t need to mention your budgeting, it’s clear to read you didn’t budget an amount for your parents

No, but we stopped buying for adults a million years ago.

Do you mean you’ve completely run out of money until BD?

You should always always leave a bit even if it means one less gift.

Christmas was originally the Winter Solstice celebration of the 21st of December which was re-branded to Sol Invictus by the Romans to honour their Sun God and then re-branded again in 336 AD to "Christ's Mass" when Christianity became the new official Roman religion.
However, since the fifties it has been successfully re-branded by the USA as the feast of children in order to maximise toy sales, so I think at this point it is really mainly about children.

Ha ha...yes, that old gold, frankincense & myrrh thang.......

No what?

Children don’t need a lot of presents, certainly not ‘almost everything they want’ , and stuff being bought as soon as it is mentioned, they often change their minds. Whilst as a parent / grandparent I wouldn’t want my adult DC spending a lot of money on me when it’s tight, I’d be hurt not even to have a token gift because I haven’t entered their thoughts the whole time they were spending a couple of hundred on their DC.

In contrast, To those reading this who have so little money you can barely afford to buy anything for your DC, I absolutely wouldn’t want anything in that situation.

When my daughter left home I said not to buy me anything the first couple of years. I genuinely did not want her to spend her money on anything as she needed it more than me.

If you really want to get them something. Do an I owe you and cook them a nice meal in January. Or offer to do a task they normally pay for or never get round to doing - gardening for example or cleaning their car.

If my daughter gave me 2 ‘car clean’ vouchers I’d be over the moon as I hate hoovering my car.

Nor is it about spending a fortune on gifts for some people and not spending anything at all on other people.

One of my family members says ‘it’s the thought that counts’ whilst not putting any thought in.

I don’t think the OP can justify spending six months and £200 on her daughter but no time or money on her parents who she is going to for Christmas Day. That’s not the spirit of Christmas either.

make some christmas biscuits and decorate them with your daughter. Really simple and cheap.and they will love the fact your daughter helped make them
Personally I.would rather my.daughter spent her money on her child. So I would love something handmade .

Starting from next pay day, put some money aside and do that same every month. I've done that since a kid getting 10p pocket money!

Don't spend crazy money on your daughter. She won't appreciate it and will keep expecting more. What do you do on her birthday? What do you do for your parents on their birthdays?

Obviously far too late for this year now, but you do need to budget.

As for now, write some IOUs for your parents. Pop them in a jar, put a bow on the top. Maybe 52 of them and tell them to open one a week. They could be things like an hour of gardening, an hour playing a board game, an hour of dusting, helping them renew their home insurance, taking them shopping, going to the park with some sandwiches and your daughter. Stuff that doesn't cost anything but your time and company, things that are thoughtful and considerate.