Cant afford to get my parents a gift for Christmas

[hl8]

I have an 8yo daughter and have brought her quite allot of presents this year. Moneys been really tight but still managed to get her pretty much everything she wanted, but that meant I ran out of money and I don’t get paid again until Boxing Day. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have brought her so much and feeling really guilty that I can’t buy my parents a gift.

Is anyone else in the same situation where they can’t buy someone they love a gift this year?

I personally would buy something small like a ponsietta and pop in a little hand made Christmas card from your DD and write in there about treating them to lunch over Christmas period to spend some time together/ thank them for being there etc. That way they have a gift but it will be paid for once you’ve been paid

Do you have any supermarket loyalty points to collect. Maybe you could use this to at least get a box of nice biscuits. I would be poor show to turn up completely empty handed.

For Christ's sake, 200 quid doesn't stretch very far. It's quite a modest amount, especially as it's been spent over months. I'll bet those beating the OP up have spent more or are as tight as f with their kids.

You know what, if my two sons said that they’d bought their children presents over me and they were getting me something later in the month, I’d be absolutely fine. Maybe get them a nice Christmas card ?

This time of year is hard enough for people without getting into debt. I hope you have a good one x

@hl8

OK - as it’s an emergency situation as you can’t really turn up to spend Christmas with your parents without anything to give them:

Home made Chocolate Bark (or Peppermint Bark if you want to use candy canes). Cheap and easy to make.

When I lived in the US my friend was on maternity leave and stony broke. She made peppermint bark for me and other friends, beautifully wrapped in cellophane and tied up with string (Sound of Music vibes lol!). It was a really nice gift. You can probably buy the cellophane in The Works or a florist may let you buy some.

The UK recipe can be found on www.bbcgoodfood.com

(look up ‘Easy chocolate bark’ or Peppermint bark)

You can also hand write a ‘Gift Token’ to take them out for a meal or Afternoon Tea’ in the New Year.

When you do your food shop can you get them some nice wine etc? Then maybe get them a voucher for afternoon tea etc in the new year. If you’d spent slightly less on your daughter you would have had the money for them. I think as a single parent if that’s the case it’s easy to overcompensate through guilt at times but it isn’t necessary.

Why not do what I did. Well off MIL who had everything so I got her a lovely card and wrote a letter to her saying that I didn’t know what she wanted so I offered her a day of my time to help her get her garden ready for spring, (she couldn’t do it and couldn’t find a gardener) don’t think she was very impressed at the time BUT after I had done it she told people that it was one of the best presents she had had. It brought us closer and when she was dying she wanted me to be with her. Money doesn’t buy everything. Find out what somebody REALLY needs help with.

Do you have any paint and paper you could have your child do a hand print and frame it? Can get a basic photo frame super cheap x

OP, I'm sure you didn't plan to run out of money before you could buy your parents a gift.
I understand you wanted to get your daughter the things she wanted. Of course in hindsight you might have done it differently, but everyone makes mistakes.
So, have you got any unused vouchers or clubcard points? Have you got any reasonable bottles of wine around the house? Nice Christmas cards?
Here's what I would do...
Take a box of chocolates with you, bottle of wine, whatever you can get your hands on.
Get a nice card and write thoughtfully in it, tell them how much they mean to you and maybe include a favourite Christmas memory of yours. Include a homemade 'voucher' for a trip to the cinema, for the whole family. If you can, put the voucher with some bags of cinema style treats.
Next year, ask someone you trust to take £10 a month off you, and to give it all back on the 20th December.
Have a lovely Christmas 🎄

Time costs nothing but thought, consideration and a willingness to put yourself out for someone else to help them achieve something that money cannot buy.

Hi OP the replies you are getting are making me really cross. You have done really well to treat your daughter on limited funds. Any parent would be really proud that you have managed to make a nice Christmas for her and would not expect a present for them. I think the idea of a voucher of something thoughtful you can do for them is really nice. Hope you have a marvellous Christmas. Xxx

Good idea.

This is good.

I think OP could have reserved £30 for her parents and still have enough to buy her daughter nice presents.

I think it’s actually important for op’s daughter to see the gifts going both ways.
Op really should ensure the Dd has some small token to give her grandparents, for her sake rather than the grandparents.

This is ridiculous lol

I think it’s a bit shocking that the OP hasn’t bought a small present for her daughter to give her grandparents or got her to paint a picture. When my daughter was that age, she always spent hours making cards for her grandmothers and they were really treasured. When they had both died and we cleared out their belongings, we found every card thst she had sent to both of them from when she was a toddler until she was in her teens. For several years, she painted pictures for them, which we put into clip frames from the pound shop, and which the grandmas loved as well. Presents don’t have to be expensive and there would have been time for the OP to have made something for her parents but instead she chose to spend £200 on a young child and put nothing aside for a small present for the parents who she will be spending Christmas Day with. My mum was very generous with the presents that bought me over the years, but the things that I remember the most and still treasure are the things that she made me - one year she bought me an expensive gadget for the kitchen but she also made me some exquisite crocheted bumble bees which were the best present I had thst year. The bees probably cost a few pennies in left over wool but they were made with great love and are among my most precious possessions. Surely their is something that the OP could make for her parents or buy very cheaply from a charity shop? I think it woukd just be incredibly hurtful for the OP’s parents to realise that she has made no effort whatsoever to think of them.

And more importantly, it will screw your daughter up as an adult if you bring her up to have everything she wants. The bezt gift is teaching her the value if money and how to budget.

I can't say I ever noticed when I was a child. Maybe OP could give them a Christmas card for a similar outcome?

Boxing Day is a bank holiday so you won’t get paid on that day, you’ll either get paid early or on Monday 29th.

Will your parents bring gifts for you? If so, won’t you feel guilty opening your gifts from them knowing that you have got them nothing? If they won’t be bringing gifts for you then I think it’s okay not to give them one. If your parents are bringing gifts for you then it’s very bad that you haven’t got them anything.

For a start, if your payday is Boxing Day, then you will be paid on Christmas Eve. Surely your daughter wants to give her grandparents a gift at Christmas? It's not ALL about the children. She needs to experience the joy of giving. You only need a fiver to get some bits and bobs from somewhere like Home Bargain or B&M. Help her make a card for them. You can't turn up empty handed, it's tight.

We have a sibling that does this, even to our DC for both birthdays and Christmas and personally I wouldn't tell your parents you'll buy them something after the event it's a bit like they're an after thought, it's too late, the day has been 364 days coming and by boxing day it's done.

At least be honest and say you've spent all your money on your DD and didn’t have enough funds to get them a gift.

Really?
Then your parents were probably different from most.

No I think they gave their parents gifts, it just wasn't a spectacle and I don't remember ever noticing it.

This is absolutely lovely