Cant afford to get my parents a gift for Christmas

[hl8]

I have an 8yo daughter and have brought her quite allot of presents this year. Moneys been really tight but still managed to get her pretty much everything she wanted, but that meant I ran out of money and I don’t get paid again until Boxing Day. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have brought her so much and feeling really guilty that I can’t buy my parents a gift.

Is anyone else in the same situation where they can’t buy someone they love a gift this year?

The best gifts buy far are the thoughtful ones not the expensive shop bought ones. Why not make a lovely voucher (if you are not creative write in a Christmas card) and invite them for dinner or afternoon tea in the New Year which will be made by you and your daughter. You can then have a lovely time with your daughter planning and making it.

Hey @hl8 can I ask do you parents know that money can be a little hard to come by sometimes?

the reason I ask is I know that if I was in your position that for a fact my parents would want me to spend what I could afford on making Xmas special for my kids and they wouldn’t be offended if I couldn’t get them anything fancy.

they have everything they need and always say they don’t need or want anything.

if anything - providing you manage to get to Christmas Eve with your £20 and don’t need it for taxis Christmas Day then I’d perhaps nip to the Tesco express and get them a bottle of wine. Perhaps you could offer something that you can afford to get after Christmas

is there a film they want to see? You can pay for the cinema. Do you host them at yours? Offer to cook them a lovely meal?

it’s the thought that counts xx

I’d say sorry it’s delayed in the post and get them something in the sales, but in future spend a bit less on the child. We’re fairly well off, but my kids won’t get all they asked for by any stretch, nor should they.

£200 doesn't actually seem to go very far nowadays. I think people are being way over the top.

Mossstich I too am a similar age to you and am happy with some After Eights ! Probably remember when these were a wonderful treat only avaliable at Christmas .My own DD doesnt earn very much .DS has a good job ,and treats me .But both gifts are special.OP could make a cake/fudge /cookies .Charity shops are good too.

It's highly unlikely you'll get paid boxing day. It'll come on the 24th OP.

I'm not sure what you want from your thread. So can't comment.

Buy them some chocolates and chose a virgin experience voucher for something they’d enjoy and just write it in a card, then actually buy it on Boxing Day. They don’t have to know (will probs be cheaper on BD anyway)

My go-to present for older relatives when money was short and my dc were little was printing nice photos of the dc and putting in a frame. Hopefully you have loads of lovely photos of dd on your phone and they can be printed in Boots for around 50p per photo. You may have a frame you can reuse or can buy one cheaply. You said you have £20 left for emergencies - well, this is your emergency. You won't need money while staying at your parents and you get paid Boxing Day (are you sure it won't come early as that's a bank holiday?) so spending £5-10 on your parents should be doable.

For me, it would be about including dd and setting her the example that Christmas is about giving and not just receiving and you can't turn up at someone's house empty-handed unless you truly are poverty-stricken, which you're not.

You could have spent less than a fiver to get them a box of supermarket chocolates at some point in the past 3-6 months (so they'd definitely be in date).
You didn't have to make a big effort, but some effort to do anything other than arrive with your hands out.

You could afford it, you were just too self centred to consider anyone other than your own family unit.

You are also doing your child no favours living such a financially precarious life.
You are teaching her how to be broke for the rest of her life.

You'd both be better off if you had £50 in savings so that minor hiccups like realising you didn't get a present for the people hosting you over Christmas didn't turn into a drama.

Seriously £200 isn’t a lot? We had a £100 budget as teens in the early 90s and i come from a family that didn’t have much money, but we always had a great xmas thanks to my mum.

Everything has gone up massively over the last few years. I honestly don’t think it’s that much. I’m not a soebd soebd spend kind of person either. There was a thread where some grandparents were spending near to that.

The poster asked about credits cards etc as you can buy them a gift on it!

posters don’t mean overall budgeting - but this Christmas budget. You’ve not budgeted for everyone to have a gift.

Can you take some of hers back and get your parents something? Or someone mentioned an IOU for a day out/meal etc.

will your parents have got you something?

I do wish MNHQ could pin a gentle reminder to the top of this board …

You still have time and could still get something small to mark the occasion. What about a coffee table book with nice pictures? You could get it from a second hand store, wrap and give it to both. You could note in advance that money is a bit tight. If I were mum and dad I do not think I would mind this at all. Turning up with nothing though is not that great.

Bought, not brought.

Poor form to go to parents for Christmas and bring nothing. No gift, no wine, no food contributions? That's just not ok.

Just use klarna! Or get something from a catalogue , it’s not that hard.

About what?
I’ve read OP’s posts and a few others. What do we need reminding of?

This is a brilliant suggestion. Buy a thoughtful card (charity shop if you've only got loose change) and commit to something in the new year that will make them feel special - even coffee and cake somewhere they like with your undivided attention. My children remember the magic and sparkle of Chtistmas and the fun of sitting down to a meal with all the family over and above any present but I understand why you wanted to splash out.

There’s no way I would not get my parents anything if they were hosting Xmas day! Are you taking food?
Wheres your DH/DD dad in all this? Are you a LP? Can’t he loan you, does he also get her presents on top?

All I have bought my mum is a box of chocolates, it’s all she asked for, she told me not to buy anything else.

As a parent myself, I wouldn’t expect my dc to buy me anything if they couldn’t afford it, I would be happy with their company Christmas Day and I would be happy to provide food and drink.

Maybe take you parents out for tea and cake in January? January is a boring month and it will give you all something to look forward too.

Splurging on gifts you can't afford for your child usually means you end up with a spoilt child. Not giving your parents even a small gift is very thoughtless (and also selfish - I bet you enjoyed buying your daughter's presents).

OP my parents would rather i spend my money on my child- they are adults and will understand things are tight. In fact, my mum would be pissed off if i bought adult gifts with my last ounce of money!

Someone who is tight for money. And already paying of debts should not be taking on even more debt, especially not to buy a Christmas present.

Absolutely stupid to suggest that she does. Something could go wrong washing machine or fridge brake and she'd be screwed, she needs to keep working to reduce her debt not increase it.

£200 on an 8 year old isn't much especially if you've been buying since August! (My SS is asking for a phone- BM saying he NEEDS an iPhone - not happening). Could you write or type on card say like a meal out the four of you in the new year or something along them lines?)

I think you are getting a really tough time here!
You are a single mum who is trying to make your daughter’s Christmas special, I don’t think any grandparents would mind if they don’t get something in order for their grandchild to have a lovely time! If are are annoyed, then they’d probably be annoyed regardless, hopefully you have nice parents.
I also don’t think £200 is excessive in this day and age, a decent toy will be 1/2 of that and with extra bits and bobs it doesn’t sound like you’ve gone over the top. Please dont get into debt in order to buy someone a gift, I think it’s totally ridiculous people suggesting that or returning gifts…Enjoy your Christmas!

Your parents wouldn't mind but it's really poor of you. What kind of message is this for a child? £200 worth of presents and Mum only has £20 in the bank! And grandparents don't get anything when they visit. This is how poverty is perpetuated, when parents model such poor financial behaviour. You should have been building up an emergency fund since August, not bloody Christmas tat.