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Original poster

Moral dilemma - duplicate Christmas presents

95 replies

No1toerag · 20/12/2025 14:04

Well, a truly first world problem to be resolved with common sense and humour please!
Last week I tried on the jacket of my dreams (£160, been looking for this style and fit for ages ) I had no intention of buying it and it was the wrong size anyway.
However I casually checked it on line and found it on a different retailer website for £120 …. then as I popped it in my basket they offered me 25% off!
So I bought it for £96, delivery tomorrow.
However yesterday I noticed a jacket- shaped parcel ( from the retailer) addressed to my husband which was quickly whisked away ….I’d guess he paid full price for it and will be ever so pleased he’s finally bought me an item of clothing I won’t return! 🤣
So do I allow us as a household to ‘waste’ £64 by retuning mine and saying nothing? Or is there a clever solution without causing disappointment? I can’t really ask for the receipt without causing suspicion ….!

OP posts:
Kingsleadhat · 21/12/2025 21:15

Any chance you can have a little snoop? If it's the same one I would send mine back because his pleasure at giving you a great gift is worth more than the money you'll save

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 21/12/2025 21:23

MrsF111 · 20/12/2025 21:34

Keep yours hidden for now, then return his (in secret after you open on Christmas Day and tell him how marvellous it is!) and then you can get the £160 credit in the store to also spend! Win win, you get an extra present, your husband gets to be pleased in his gift giving as you will have kept your one which he will be none the wiser isn’t the one he purchased

Agree with this.

Partypants83 · 21/12/2025 21:29

Yes. Me too.

bluesunnyskies · 21/12/2025 21:33

I’m a bit more rose-coloured glasses off on this one (but understated it is a light-hearted issue of course!! ; ) ) I think if your DH has just purchased it then you have every right now to pop on your own jacket and parade it around the house, and he can find something else for you to open on Xmas Day. Like everyone, we all have weeks to buy something for significant others and clothes especially is something that you stop buying before Xmas in case a partner does (if hints have been dropped or it has been observed that you want a certain item).

There are threads on here where people buy perfumes, clothes and other items that surely a person buys for themselves when a sale hits especially during the Black Friday sales.

While it may come across to many as a nice and thoughtful gesture on this board, I am on the view it is a little bit unimaginative considering he knew you would be chasing this one and unless there was a backlog of orders for this particular jacket, he bought it too close to Xmas to be off the hook for this.

I would make him return the jacket.

Edited: Too not to and just a few more (need more coffee)

Laurmolonlabe · 21/12/2025 23:35

I'd ask him for the receipt (in case faulty or the wrong size).
My Mum however, would just go through his pockets, and car for it- choices, choices.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 21/12/2025 23:42

Wait. He may not have even got the same jacket. If he has thank him and return yours and spend the £96 on something else. Think of it as £96 free rather than loosing money. He may even have got the discount too.

caringcarer · 22/12/2025 01:40

He got it right and got you something you love, as others have said let him feel the pleasure of that. Wear the jacket often and say how much you lik it. Return the one you bought if it's the same one or change it for something else in their sale.

TwinklyNight · 22/12/2025 02:45

Return the one that you bought after Christmas.

Notmeagain24 · 22/12/2025 05:29

Can you link the coat? I know, I know, it's off topic but I love having a look at coats online and interested to know what coats are fashionable these days!

Tammygirl12 · 22/12/2025 07:03

Wanttobeok · 20/12/2025 14:43

I wouldn't say anything.

I would wait until I opened the present and if it's the same jacket send the one I had bought back

This

arcticpandas · 22/12/2025 08:16

No1toerag · 20/12/2025 19:43

Just to add fuel to the fire I’m not ‘treading on eggshells ‘ just conscious of not spoiling what is a very kind and considerate gift ( he was with me when I tried on the wrong size so knows exactly which jacket and size )
And to reply to another comment - we are both 60 plus but still work ( zero hours) to afford the luxuries so £64 is around 3.5 hours’ work for me .
Your comments are interesting and I am grateful

Please wait before you send it back ! He might have gotten the wrong size/colour so he'll have to send his back anyway.

GAJLY · 22/12/2025 08:47

MrsF111 · 20/12/2025 21:34

Keep yours hidden for now, then return his (in secret after you open on Christmas Day and tell him how marvellous it is!) and then you can get the £160 credit in the store to also spend! Win win, you get an extra present, your husband gets to be pleased in his gift giving as you will have kept your one which he will be none the wiser isn’t the one he purchased

I agree with this genuis idea 💡 👆

MILLYmo0se · 22/12/2025 10:41

MrsF111 · 20/12/2025 21:34

Keep yours hidden for now, then return his (in secret after you open on Christmas Day and tell him how marvellous it is!) and then you can get the £160 credit in the store to also spend! Win win, you get an extra present, your husband gets to be pleased in his gift giving as you will have kept your one which he will be none the wiser isn’t the one he purchased

But if the whole issue is the waste of £64 - which may actually only be £16 if he got it in sale plus he may be a first time customer so a discount on top so less again - she doesn't want £160 to spend on a second gift
OP you know your partner, would he be hurt or delighted you got a bargain?

Gossipisgood · 22/12/2025 11:54

I'd put the jacket on & swirl around in front of your hubby showing him your bargain' purchase. If he has bought the same one he might tell you & ask what he should do or secretly return it. I'm sure he won't be upset that you've managed to get what you wanted at a discounted price. £60+ is a big saving so if he has bought it at full price he can send it back & get you something else that you'd love just as much. As long as you let him know you really appreciated him buying it for you but are happy for him to return it to get you something else I'm sure he'll be fine about it.

BauhausOfEliott · 22/12/2025 14:08

Honestly, I think this is one that completely depends on your finances, your relationship, your personalities etc. There's no definitive right or wrong here.

If it were me, I would just discreetly return the Asos parcel after Christmas and get my £96 back, and would let my partner be delighted that he'd found me the gift I really loved and wanted and I wouldn't care about the 'household' deficit of £64. He'd have spent the money if you hadn't seen a discounted version anyway.

TheHappyBird1 · 27/12/2025 16:33

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Cleaneufy · 28/12/2025 06:43

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MILLYmo0se · 28/12/2025 12:19

What did you decide in the end OP?

Original poster
No1toerag · 03/04/2026 21:30

@MILLYmo0seapologies for very delayed response . I kept quiet and feigned surprise and gratitude for a very considered gift. I returned my lesser priced purchase and nobody is any the wiser…..we’re ’relatively new’ hence the dilemma and this was 💯 % the right decision.

OP posts:
Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 05/04/2026 18:10

Lovely update OP. Enjoy your presents.

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